Hello! I've been a person reading threads for awhile now but finally decided to post something to discuss because I feel very helpless in this area of my life.
10 months ago I started dating a girl who was into astrology, so I got accustomed to knowing Sun, Moon, Venus signs ect but never really dug deeper until recently following our break up. Since the breakup (when I say break up I meant cutting ties finally, because we almost broke up 4 times within those 10 months and actually concrete broke up 3 times. Very toxic and very codependent relationship, but yet in the midst of it I was consumed and tried to make excuses as to why we will work out.)
Something happened in me right after the break up that inspired me to dig deeper into astrology and even crystals, and what came up really freaked me out in terms of relationships.
I found out that not only does my Venus square Pluto in the 8th house, but her Venus opposites Pluto. As I began reading more and more on the synastry of Venus-Pluto aspects, the more I related and the more I became scared because I feel doomed in the area of relationships. The relationship I had before this past 10 month one, was to a drug addict. And the love before that one was unrequited for 3 years. I am understanding now that I should look to my pluto aspect for a sense of transformation, but there's this fear that I won't discover how to change. I don't want love to hurt but I am consciously and unconsciously choosing people bad for me. I run from one love interest to another seeking an all consuming love and will play any technique in the book to hold it. And I guess this is the first time I am acknowledging my sinister side to love and relationships. So I'm very grateful astrology has opened up my eyes, but I don't know what to do with the information.
Here is my chart:
I genuinely want to have healthy relationships but feel eternally doomed. Thank you guys so much
Blessings
10 months ago I started dating a girl who was into astrology, so I got accustomed to knowing Sun, Moon, Venus signs ect but never really dug deeper until recently following our break up. Since the breakup (when I say break up I meant cutting ties finally, because we almost broke up 4 times within those 10 months and actually concrete broke up 3 times. Very toxic and very codependent relationship, but yet in the midst of it I was consumed and tried to make excuses as to why we will work out.)
Something happened in me right after the break up that inspired me to dig deeper into astrology and even crystals, and what came up really freaked me out in terms of relationships.
I found out that not only does my Venus square Pluto in the 8th house, but her Venus opposites Pluto. As I began reading more and more on the synastry of Venus-Pluto aspects, the more I related and the more I became scared because I feel doomed in the area of relationships. The relationship I had before this past 10 month one, was to a drug addict. And the love before that one was unrequited for 3 years. I am understanding now that I should look to my pluto aspect for a sense of transformation, but there's this fear that I won't discover how to change. I don't want love to hurt but I am consciously and unconsciously choosing people bad for me. I run from one love interest to another seeking an all consuming love and will play any technique in the book to hold it. And I guess this is the first time I am acknowledging my sinister side to love and relationships. So I'm very grateful astrology has opened up my eyes, but I don't know what to do with the information.
Here is my chart:
I genuinely want to have healthy relationships but feel eternally doomed. Thank you guys so much
Blessings