Why do I feel such a long lasting connection with this older Taurus woman?

She had problems with her husband because she was quite domineering. Her husband put up with that for a long time until he could not take it any longer. She admits she had no idea how to be someone's wife and get along with a man. Her daughter's currently in her hometown being taken care of by her mom but she misses her daughter and wish they were together in Beijing.

We're only in the beginning stages of getting to know each other and seeing each other so nothing's conclusive. However, I am already feeling that there will be tensions between me being a Cancer and her Aries moon. I hope communication will ease things.

I didn't sleep for a whole night because I could literally feel anxiety in my gut. My intuition was telling me she's going through a rough time as well, probably even cried. This morning she told me she didn't sleep well and that was it, but my gut instinct (literally) feels there's more going on. Today I asked for her address, she gave me hers and I in turn gave her mine. She then asked me "why would you give me your address," she didn't exactly mean what she said (I don't really understand what she said) but it sounded like something really blunt and harsh to me and now I'm sitting in a corner near a shopping district crying because I am already feeling so attached to her yet she hurt me a bit today.

BaoSanniang said:

She had problems with her husband because she was quite domineering. Her husband put up with that for a long time until he could not take it any longer. She admits she had no idea how to be someone's wife and get along with a man. Her daughter's currently in her hometown being taken care of by her mom but she misses her daughter and wish they were together in Beijing.

We're only in the beginning stages of getting to know each other and seeing each other so nothing's conclusive. However, I am already feeling that there will be tensions between me being a Cancer and her Aries moon. I hope communication will ease things.

I didn't sleep for a whole night because I could literally feel anxiety in my gut. My intuition was telling me she's going through a rough time as well, probably even cried. This morning she told me she didn't sleep well and that was it, but my gut instinct (literally) feels there's more going on. Today I asked for her address, she gave me hers and I in turn gave her mine. She then asked me "why would you give me your address," she didn't exactly mean what she said (I don't really understand what she said) but it sounded like something really blunt and harsh to me and now I'm sitting in a corner near a shopping district crying because I am already feeling so attached to her yet she hurt me a bit today.

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I'm sorry to hear that.

Most of the Gemini-Sun men I've got to know closely have many girl friends, they seem to me quite feminine no matter where his Venus or Moon is. I also know a few cancer's moon and they're very nurturing and caring. A male with a cancer moon and good manners is, IMO, the perfect gentleman. Your friend may feel drawn to you because of these, and if she's troubled she might expect you to help her. I can relate to her because I'm also a single mother and my mother has also a quick-temper, we also have different backgrounds and I would definitely feel very worried if she were going to raise my children. In such a situation a woman's survival instincts come to surface and sublimely or explicitly she'll be in search of a lifesaver. In stressful situations a person who isn't manipulative can turn into one, keep that in mind.

I'm not a very orthodox astrologer, nor I have years of experience... I cannot get "the feeling" of a person just by looking at their chart. My astrological database is very narrow, so I just focus on the placements I have experienced personally. I cannot be sure that your friend is this or that, so it would be good if you open a thread to focus in her natal chart (once you get to know her birth-time). Hopefully other astrologers will join.

Don't feel sad Bao. Sometimes love hurts, moreover when Chiron is involved... But those are lessons we have to take, the when, the where and the how is now in your hands.

I met her after she finished her tutoring side job yesterday, we went back to her place and then went to the mall near her home for dinner. I bought some things for her, wouldn't really call them gifts because they're more practical in nature. She mentioned how her mattress is a bit too hard and uncomfortable for her so I got her a soft one partly made of cotton. I got her to try it and she ended up really enjoying it.

OK I know this isn't a relationship advice website but during dinner I did sort of confront her (but quite gently) and told her I tried because I was so worried about her. I also asked her why she reacted the way she did when I happily gave her more of my personal details.

She told me I'm a very nice and caring guy and she would have gone for me if she had not gone through everything. However, she's in essence, divorced, and she's afraid of getting hurt again by me or anyone else. She said she hopes I'll find someone more suitable. She said that I'm still a youth and there are certain things I've yet to understand. I asked her why is it I HAVE to understand those things and go through them, and she didn't give me a direct reply.

She said she'd rather be alone if she can't find someone suitable, and it made me feel a bit sad when I heard her say that. Then I asked her what kind of person she'll be looking for if she sets her mind to finding someone again. She said she'd like someone with more experience, someone who's more "mature" and knows how to handle things. Not necessarily someone who's also divorced like her, but a guy who's had a couple of women in his life. I asked her whether she'd feel uncomfortable knowing that a guy like that might have quite a history, that I would be turned off by a girl like that, she said she wouldn't mind the guy having a past as long as he's not too...... non-committal and a playboy, that we've all made mistakes.

I tried holding her arm and her hand yesterday, not a full grip on her hand but I wanted to touch it. Her hand moisturizer smelled really good, and it smelled like..... her. So we walked back to her home, I helped her put the mattress on her bed and then we sat down and talked. She boiled some water for me and we chatted. She's attending the school's annual New Year party this evening and she sort of consulted me on whether she looks good enough and how she should dress.

I said she looks fine the way she is, that I think she looks good whether she dresses up or not. I want her to look natural. So we sat there and chatted, eventually she got a bit tired and laid on the mattress, face flat. Then there was some physical contact but nothing very sexual, and she didn't mind.

I can tell she likes me, I sense she likes me more than just as a friend. Star crossed sounds way too dramatic perhaps but it might be misplaced time and circumstances that have led to what her and I are going through now. Referring back to the South Node connection, do you believe this could be karmic punishment for me mistreating her in past lives?

I could definitely see myself falling in love with her and wanting a peaceful family life with her. I believe she feels more for me than just friendship but for her things are a lot harder and there's much more to consider due to what she's been through.

She did drop what believe might be a "hint". She said that if someone's been with a few guys or girls and still think that one they knew at first is the best, then that's a sign of a real connection.

I also speculate that she may be very drawn to a noticeable water energy in someone because her sun is opposite her Saturn in Scorpio and her Mercury is opposite Pluto in Scorpio. I feel it could be a part of herself that she hasn't quite tapped into. Water is more feeling and intuitive than her stable Earth energy and it's complementary, she's trying to integrate it into herself even though at times it can feel so at odds with what she's used to.

Unfortunately she doesn't know her time of birth so I'll maybe get her to ask her mom or something, her mom should know. Once that's figured out we can know her house placements and planetary houses.

She said I'm the kind of person who not only tells a girl to something, but does that exact thing for the girl. Now I am already feeling an attraction. The way she is, the way she looks, her voice and overall manner are so soft and pleasing to me.


P.S. Personally I haven't noticed Gemini men being very feminine or anything. One Gemini guy I know likes military things and he's also really into motorbikes and the Wild West. Another Gemini guy I know is very business-oriented and I don't see a high degree of femininity in him. Unfortunately I don't have Cancer moon, I have Aquarius moon but I wouldn't say I am detached. In fact, relationships and people drain a lot of energy because I'm always so concerned about people (on a personal, not an impersonal level).

It's funny because I can still see a hint of Aquarius in me in the sense that I don't get caught up in the emotions of a group and group activities drain me, and it's really easy for me to remove myself from whatever the group is doing and feeling. However, things become different when it's one-on-one, that's when you really see my sensitive, caring, and considerate side that often overextends itself because I just want to do so much and I'd feel emptiness if I don't.

Usually it's the other way around. You don't see people's moon sign in action until you know them better, but for me it seems to be the opposite. I alternate between being talkative and very withdrawn depending on how I feel. Maybe the withdrawn part is also part of Cancer's protective instinct.

Well, In my opinion Gemini is feminine because they are very talkative and usually attract more female friends than male friends. With some gemini males a girl may feel very comfortable to the point to see a Gemini male as another girl. Well that's what I noticed, Gemini boys are somehow YIN.

It's wonderful to know, things between you and your friend are going on well.

I will answer your question about the SN conjunction later, I'm a bit busy at this moment.

Kikaki said:

I looked at your synastry. There is venus conjunct mars in your descendant. Also mars conjunct mars and venus sextile mars. What I have noticed, there has been few people in my life I have felt very strong chemistry and there has been venus conjunct mars conjunction. Maybe there is strong sexual attraction, good vibes and energy between you. Your venus/mars conjunction also sextile and trine your moons and opposite uranus. Also there is venus sextile moon double whammy. Many strong attraction aspects.
Though mars in descendant could mean fights and domineering tendencies.
There is also sun square moon double whammy.

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Yeah well I am concerned about Sun Opposite Pluto double whammy, Mercury Opposite Neptune double whammy, Venus / Mars Opposite Uranus on both ends, and the Sun Square Moon. I am most concerned about these.

In both composite and Davison charts there's Sun Square Moon, Gemini-Pisces in composite and Sagittarius-Virgo in Davison. That's a bummer. Sun Square Moon in all 3 modes.

What also concerns me are Venus aspects to the 3 outer planets in composite and maybe Davison as well. If I remember correctly there are a few hard aspects to Juno and a lack of Saturn aspects in composite and Davison. As BlackLioness pointed out, my Uranus squares her asteroid Boda. Her Pluto is conjunct Boda.

I don't have a very positive opinion of the 3 outer planets whether from an astronomical or astrological perspective. They're so far out there and they have lots of strange physical and chemical properties (as beautiful as they can be, except Pluto). From an astrological perspective they all bring some measure of conflict, deception, or separation.

Not sure if any studies have been done on common synastry / composite / Davison aspects in long-lasting couples, and I'm not sure how much negative influence these outer planets actually have, but from what I understand the energies they represent are all trickier to handle than the inner planets including Saturn.

I say this because although Saturn can be a real pain in the butt, it keeps you grounded and it produces measurable results.

I'm still new to composite and Davison charts, I'm more familiar with synastry and even now I'm still learning more about synastry. I'm not sure how much of an influence composite and Davison have on a relationship between two people (any relationship). Like, is it possible for two people to have a lifelong bond if there are powerful aspects in synastry but composite and Davison look a lot weaker, or vice versa?

Mars Conjunct Descendant....... well she does have a temper and she told me she was quite domineering in the past, now sure if she's changed much I'll have to get to know her better. I don't like fights and I'm deeply aversive of conflict, I always like to approach things sideways and I realize it's not good to be passive-aggressive yet avoidant.

BTW you have Cancer moon and I am a Cancer. Do you feel almost a compulsion to care and nurture, like you're a "care-a-holic" and super nurturer? Do you feel that you overextend and exhaust yourself just to make sure someone else is taken care of? Do you feel that caring and nurturing play a major role in your life? Are you very attached to home?

My connection with this woman, where do you see it going?

Thanks for your reply (once again). I see, I think it's because after all you are an Aquarius sun so your core personality and the essence of your soul will still be Aquarian (probably with some Pisces as you're born on the cusp with Pisces). I feel like sometimes I can overdo things whether people really need them or not, my instinct assumes people need help and can't do things on their own, and I feel this more with people I'm close to. I think it could be a reflection of my own helplessness and need to be nurtured that I've projected onto other people, but I'd rather be this way than be more independent and assume independence in others.

Yeah I am aware of the differences between this woman and I simply due to different life experiences, it wasn't something she could really control as it just happened. She fell in love with that man, it was her first relationship and she was into him for no other reason than the fact that.... she just liked him. He's 3 years older than her which makes him 36. They've been separated for years and he isn't that involved in her or her daughter's life so in essence they're divorced but she's managing on her own in a practical sense.

I appreciate your well wishes and I also hope it goes well, I'll see how it goes as I get to know her. She did say she doesn't want either of us to get hurt. If you're familiar with anime, you might have heard of Makoto Shinkai's film called "Garden of Words." I feel a bit like the main male character with this woman being the main female character, the main female character in that film is a teacher and this woman is also a teacher. The difference is the male lead character in the film has an ambition to be a shoemaker while I have no ambition really, I'm a family and relationship-oriented person who just lives life day-by-day and I always find myself in a position of service.

About the SN-Moon Venus conjunction. To have this placement doesn't mean you have to commit with the other person. According to karmic astrology there may be some important issues to solve, but you don't have to take care of this person for the rest of your life just because you were close in a past incarnation.

In example, I have seen the SN-venus conjunction in a friendship that started with a girl bullying another girl at school, after some months these two girls became best friends and finally they were separated in high school. The bond just lasted a couple of years, though the Venus person claims she dreams of SN person once in a while. In this case the Venus person was the victim at the first stage of this relationship.

In any kind of relationship both people can hurt each other, though only one bears the brunt. I had to review who owes whom in karmic astrology and there's no consensus. So what if this girl also did some very bad things to you in a past life? You may even recreate past life fights, adding more "karma" to the relationship. Most astrologers say SN contacts pull you backwards but in my opinion there must be a reason for these placements to be so strong, sometimes it seems you just cannot run away from them.

In conclusion, your SN-Moon Venus conjunction will be a puzzle for some time. However, be sure of one thing, the answers you need will come to you at the right time.

I will get to know her more and see where it goes, I'll go with the flow but then I'm not exactly the kind of person to forget something easily. Before anything else, if only I could find out her God damned time of birth by now, maybe she'll have to ask her mom.

A possibility I feel might turn into reality is I'll only let go if she meets someone that can love her and take care of her for the rest of her life. Even then it won't be easy for me to just let go and end ties. If anyone's hurt I'd rather be the one that's hurt more deeply, if anyone wants to end things I hope it's going to be her if it ever comes down to that.

Of course we're not at this point yet and I don't know what the future has in store for us. Although I may not look like one, I'm actually a jealous person. Even if someone doesn't end up with me I sincerely hope they end up with someone who is like me, so in a way I'm looking for an extension of me and my bond with her. If someone else ends up with her, that ******* better be just as good and caring towards her like me, if not more. If I love someone I wouldn't care if they're dressed in riches or rags. I'd give up my own life and sanity to protect them, and if anyone dares to harm them, it would only be over my dead body. An attack against someone I love is an attack against me, except retaliation without limits.

I have controlling and possessive tendencies that aren't the most direct, but they become evident when little things are concerned. It's "you are my property just like I want to be yours".

BaoSanniang said:

I have controlling and possessive tendencies that aren't the most direct, but they become evident when little things are concerned. It's "you are my property just like I want to be yours".

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I didn't know that about Cancers, but yes I know two Cancer Moon and they can be very possessive.

I used to think like you regarding this:

BaoSanniang said:

If I love someone I wouldn't care if they're dressed in riches or rags. I'd give up my own life and sanity to protect them, and if anyone dares to harm them, it would only be over my dead body. An attack against someone I love is an attack against me, except retaliation without limits

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But then I realized, what if the person I love doesn't supports me the way I'm willing to support him? Someday you'll face your loved one somehow betrays you, and you'll suffer a lot. You'll realize you are all by yourself, that you shouldn't have counted on that person. Well, what I said is a possibility... I just think you have to be very careful when choosing who deserves your unconditional love and support. I wish you luck

Sorry to hear that. Do you mind telling me what happened and why it ended badly?

Ouch. That hurts. Was there any cheating on his end?