whereisthisallgoing
Member
I don't even know where to start... but I'm having a horrible night. Got into a huge argument with my mother and sister, my sister went after me and threw a chair, and glass at me (twice). I was so angry and hurt, mother telling me I "triggered" my sister to attack me (she's the victim, she suffers from anxiety).. so I was hurt and said a few things to my mother (stupid me). Now I'm the one that's wrong.
Well long story short, I don't have a job (I am studying though), and my mother basically wants me out. She's telling me to go with my dad, but I really can't go with him because it's the same bs there, and plus he doesn't want me there, he's disabled, makes little money, and has no space for me. So really, there's no room for me. I don't have any friends who can help me, and there's no family I can run to either for help. Relatives are scattered, no one lives nearby and I'm not exactly close to any of them either.
I've been applying for jobs all week before this happened, so that's a start. I'm 21 and have never worked because I've had a lot of health problems, spine surgery, heart problems, etc. But I'm ready to work now (or at least feel it). It's just hard because where I live there isn't really any transportation, I don't have a car, and everything is super far. And I don't have any money. The only bit of help I can get is from my father, transportation-wise, but now my sister who is angry with me is trying to jeopardize my father and I's relationship. She just sent him a text to instigate a fight. Anywho..
I feel like I have no support. I'm always walking on egg shells with everyone. My mother is over-bearing with me (that's how I feel but she'll tell you it's all in my head), and I feel like everything is falling apart. I wish some doors could open up for me with a job, and things could settle down. I just feel like quitting school for now, and working.. only wish I could get a job and transportation to work. I don't even know where I will be sleeping tomorrow night. I feel like I've never even had a chance at this life.
I'm just so sick of it all.. I don't even know what my question is...
Do my transits reveal anything?
edit: Btw, you know what's funny? Before this, my sister and I were doing well. And last night I had a dream that she was trying to kill me. Funny.. I wonder if that was a warning..
[Note: Threads where the OP threatens suicide are immediately shut down and the person is referred to suicide prevention services. This thread does not seem to be a suicide threat, so changed thread title to make intention of thread clearer - Moderator]
Well long story short, I don't have a job (I am studying though), and my mother basically wants me out. She's telling me to go with my dad, but I really can't go with him because it's the same bs there, and plus he doesn't want me there, he's disabled, makes little money, and has no space for me. So really, there's no room for me. I don't have any friends who can help me, and there's no family I can run to either for help. Relatives are scattered, no one lives nearby and I'm not exactly close to any of them either.
I've been applying for jobs all week before this happened, so that's a start. I'm 21 and have never worked because I've had a lot of health problems, spine surgery, heart problems, etc. But I'm ready to work now (or at least feel it). It's just hard because where I live there isn't really any transportation, I don't have a car, and everything is super far. And I don't have any money. The only bit of help I can get is from my father, transportation-wise, but now my sister who is angry with me is trying to jeopardize my father and I's relationship. She just sent him a text to instigate a fight. Anywho..
I feel like I have no support. I'm always walking on egg shells with everyone. My mother is over-bearing with me (that's how I feel but she'll tell you it's all in my head), and I feel like everything is falling apart. I wish some doors could open up for me with a job, and things could settle down. I just feel like quitting school for now, and working.. only wish I could get a job and transportation to work. I don't even know where I will be sleeping tomorrow night. I feel like I've never even had a chance at this life.
I'm just so sick of it all.. I don't even know what my question is...
Do my transits reveal anything?
edit: Btw, you know what's funny? Before this, my sister and I were doing well. And last night I had a dream that she was trying to kill me. Funny.. I wonder if that was a warning..
[Note: Threads where the OP threatens suicide are immediately shut down and the person is referred to suicide prevention services. This thread does not seem to be a suicide threat, so changed thread title to make intention of thread clearer - Moderator]
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