Is it true this person "can't" fall in love?

Is it true he can't really fall in love? Is there any chance he "awakens" and sees his mistakes? Like I said, I feel sorry for him and I think he made a huge mistake with this person, but I don't really know how to help him, he stopped listening to my advice long ago. Thanks for your opinions.

He has a rather disjointed/disconnected chart. His conjunction of Sun/Merc/Mars/Chiron in Taurus is very sturdy and grounded. But there are very few aspects to the other planets which would help integrate the self, the intellect and the male energy force with the other life forces/

So it makes some sense that he kind of keeps some of his life situations separate and apart from others.

His Venus is in the 7th in Cancer opposing the Nep/Asc in Cap. He has very real emotional needs and he does feel romantic feelings. But they may not feel ‘real’ to him. It is like a game or a fairy tale.

And that planetary configuration formed by the Venus/Neptune opposition and the release to Saturn/Pluto, is pretty much separated from his sense of self [Sun/Merc/Mars/Chiron] in the house of daily routines. [6th]

It feels totally natural to him to separate his romantic relationship from his daily life and daily concerns. The Mercury is the only planet in the conjunction making an aspect to the other configuration and it is an inconjunct. That means it is a ’non-connection.’ A disconnect.

Personally, I think he does love this girl, in the way that he knows to love, which might be different than most.

But what he tells his friends and family about her might be somewhat distorted compared to what he actually feels and experiences when he is with her. I think he likes to portray himself to his friends[11th] in a Saturn/Pluto in Scorpio way—pretending as though he is not in love, has no binding connections because he is too cool and rebellious for any of that.

But in reality, he has his Venus in Cancer in the 7th and he is very emotionally needy and attached and feels like he needs a committed and nurturing partner.

But that Neptune opposition puts a veil there, and he tries to do it in secrecy and has a certain amount of denial about it.

katydid said:

He has a rather disjointed/disconnected chart.

Click to expand...

Hi Katy, thanks for your reply!! You know, the whole acting cool and rebellious does sound a lot like him! It's true! He definitely projects that image to the world. He also acts very sarcastic and cynical but like I said, he truly is sensitive and loving under the surface.

And I'm sure he does love her, after all they've known each other for many years, but the thing I'm mostly worried about is that he has been very specific about not being IN love with her, and he even confessed to wanting to fall in love... I certainly think there's lots of denial involved and as years passed, he couldn't really accept the relationship kind of "failed"...

What I mean by this is he always referred to her as just a friend, and according to what he told me, she pretty much "pressured" him into a more committed relationship... And of course, this could also be a distortion, or him acting cool and detached but truth is: I haven't seen him truly happy throughout these years, he's actually been really unstable, frustrated, even depressive sometimes.

I also always thought he was using the infidelities and "double life" as a "single" person as an escape and indication that he desires to meet new people and even find true love... It's not like he went around having one night stands, it was like a full "parallel" relationship. Which is pretty in tune with his deep emotional needs and attachment that you mentioned.

That's why I think he's making a mistake but I can't really help him because he's too stubborn... I told him to at least go see a therapist but he doesn't even want to do that.

Like you said, I guess Venus in cancer in the 7th makes him "need" the committed relationship, though.

Also, the bit about "loving in the way he knows to love" might be why my friend who looked at his chart said he "can't" fall in love... Maybe they meant he loves differently than most people. He's very aware that the way he acted was wrong, though (he even hates cheating ironically, 'cause he's been cheated on a previous relationship and was really hurt)

Well, I don't have the opportunity to see this chart as it has disappeared.

But...from what you say....I feel very curious as to why all your sympathies are for this lying cheating man and none for the woman who has stuck by him in all of this.
You keep saying you worry about him and feeling sorry for him and it's HIM HIM HIM..but what about HER?

And frankly, when someone has a lifestyle that they live for 10 years I believe that is EXACTLY "who he is".....as opposed to your odd appraisal that this is some bizarre "alter ego" and it's really not HIM who is doing this. He's doing this. This is what he does.
For whatever astrological reasons, he is a narcissist who cares only how HE feels and has no sense of wrongdoing when it comes to the lady who he's getting sex from and who is - unfortunately - ignorant enough to allow this to continue.

She cannot be totally in the dark about his infidelities and "double life" style.

I wish I could say that I hadn't heard this story before. But I have.

For every abuser there is a victim. And for every victim there is an abuser.

He has kept her from finding someone who might genuinely love her and want to have a family and real life with her. However, we don't have HER chart either....so....maybe her self esteem is so bad that she believes this is the best she deserves.
LIN

New chart, please? Expired.