Synastry - destiny/fate/none of the above

Ok, so I haven't been on here for a while. Been quite busy with university, and... So, I met her the start of this year, and the first strange thing I noticed is she had the same birthdate as my best friend from school - well, he was. I don't like to look at synastry when I first meet someone, I save that till later. I usually just use free sites, look at the aspects and get an idea of things. But this has gone quite far, which is why I am going to post it on here, to see if anyone can give me some thoughts about it. The first thing I noticed is all the aspects to chiron... and we have helped each other quite a lot. In fact, changed each others lives. It happened so fast, which is a little scary. It is so up and down, has been far too intense. It is like we deliberately bring each other down, fight, so we can heal each other. I can't tell if I want to let go, if I should - I try to, but just cannot. It seems quite destructive at times. Seems like destiny made us come together, and I do believe every relationship we have is to help us grow, teach us something. This one is so confusing for me though, I've never had something so intense - I wish it was just friendship sometimes, but it seems it could never be just that.

Ahhh! I keep running out of time. I did edit this a bit, because I made it a bit long before. So, is there anything that stands out? I am not sure about synastry yet, I have plenty of websites to learn it from.... working on it When I get time I will go into this more deeply... it is a strange relationship....

I'll explain a little more. As soon as we met there was an instant attraction... well, soon after. Very soon. At first we were just playing around with each other... verbally! Then it started to get... more real. Felt so intense, which I thought I liked. I did. I think I still do... but then it got even more serious, really quickly. We started going on some rollarcoaster of emotions. I did anyway. We did heal each other... the things she told me, about her past just... hurt my morality. About things that happened to her. And some things she did... and yes, I had to help. And I did of course. Couldn't just leave her. Felt some sort of responsibility... which I feel too often anyway. Got to more than friends... in fact, I doubt we could have ever been just friends. It has started to get destructive though... nearly too intense. At times I want it to last, and I am sure if we really committed it would... but it is committing... I feel there are some underlying issues. Something that feels wrong. I nearly did leave her, but I was too scared I would hurt her... she is pressuring me a little, to commit to more than I feel I can. Well... at times I feel I can. Then at others I just have that bad feeling... I am not sure what it is at all. Being with her makes all those fears of commitment go... well, most the time. When we are not pulling each other down. It's like one of us is creating some problem. The times when we have none is perfect... I feel like I just can't tell her things... I am studying a science, and it is something I am really passionate about. I have other people, I like telling things about what I am doing in it... but I feel restricted at times in what I can tell her. Like... It is strange. It certainly does feel like we were meant to come together in some way.

you might post a midpoint composite
rahu

Oh sorry, didn't explain what I added. The first is the composite... 2nd syn, with myself the inner.

Just a quick glance, but it looks like you're more invested in girl #2 than girl #1. With your Venus & Sun in aspect to their Plutos (& your own), I'm sure you are going to have lots of intense love affairs & cause much heartache among girls of your generation.

It's interesting to note how girl #1's Venus & Eros conjunct your N. node while girl #2's Saturn conjuncts it. Also, girl #2's Jupiter conjuncts your Eros.

Haizea said:

badwolf, I don't want to sound insensitive, but I will give you my true opinion: seeing that you are not truly in love and that you are very young, I think the best way to use Astrology right now is to see the natal charts of your friends to start seeing patterns in their characters. The most important should be Sun, Ascendant and Moon.

Good luck in your love affairs.

I don't know the exact saying in English, but it must be something like "There is always a clearing after a storm".

Click to expand...

I agree. And I think it's "calm after the storm." I like to see it as there has to be chaos before order. It's all Plutonian & you can see it in both of these synastry charts.

@Haizea: Thank you! I needed someone to tell me that=) Actually I read that in the morning, made my day much better

@kaminari: Yeah, definitely chaos I think I need some time away, just to give me a rest. Too intense, which is something I'm not used to saying. Thanks^^