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  #51  
Unread 03-27-2011, 04:41 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

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Originally Posted by Sweet Escape View Post
In my experience difficult aspects to Mars are some of the worst. Ascendant square Mars in a comparison chart creates power struggles. Mars conjunct Saturn is pretty bad for intimate relationships. And Mercury square Pluto can lead to verbal abuse.

Oh, and having composite Moon in the 6th house is terrible! I felt completely subordinated by the person.
I would have to agree although I can tell my friend and her husband have the worst relationship on the planet. They argue constantly, he's lied to her, has a drinking problem, and basically I really don't know what holds them together but for Saturn I guess and her not wanting to go back to work. She is a very fixed Scorpio/Leo. They have Mercury conjunct Pluto both ways, his Saturn square and opposes her ASC/Sun/Moon, and his Neptune conjuncts her ASC and squares her Mars Sun conjunction. She thought he was her Knight in Shining armor, but she ended up being delusional and deluded. She has Moon conjunct Neptune in her Scorpio 1st house so she doesn't always see herself or others as they really are. Of course she is no easy person either in terms of being temperamental, controlling, anal, and argumentative. She is extremely loyal though, which in this case is very toxic and to her detriment.

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Unread 03-27-2011, 08:09 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

Wow, I haven't been here in a while.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that while Saturn can be a devil, I find the hard Neptune aspects much WORSE in a chart, and hard Uranus or Pluto ... essentially watch those big outer planets when they form hard aspects to your personal planets in composite!

Pluto = power struggles
Uranus = instability
Neptune = deception

But Neptune is the one I really look for precisely because it's deceptive. Neptune squaring or opposing natal planets in a composite chart ... run like h*ll. Ha. I speak from experience. Conjunction can be a problem, but it depends. Neptune is the great deceiver. Everything can seem MAGICAL at first ... you've met your soul mate at last! And both people are inclined to participate in the deception, which isn't necessarily deliberate (although it can be). Sometimes one just projects onto the other what that one wants/needs to see. So while yes, a hard Neptune square might mean intentional deception from the outset, not necessarily. Sometimes it can just mean delusions that may (perhaps will) eventually turn into real-world deceptions of things hidden, affairs, etc.

Saturn hard aspects, especially squares, can be worked with. Oppositions seem more (to me, IME) to be external factors keeping people apart. Squares are felt more internally, but as a result, they can lend great STRENGTH to a relationship if met head on AND there are strong positives in the chart otherwise. They usually represent a perceived limitation and or a critical approach. Without positive factors, that gets old FAST, and we often (again, IME) see or feel hard Saturn aspects relatively early-on, so we know they're there (unlike the hard Neptune). We can decide whether we want to live with them, or if there are enough goods to outweigh them. For instance, my mother used to tell me, when she'd give me frank critique, "I love you, so I'll always tell you when you have bad breath. You can count on it." As she also always told me the good stuff and supported me, I learned to trust that the critique sprang from love and concern, not dislike or a need to belittle people.

With hard Saturn aspects, that's what we have to decide. Can we live with those limitations. Saturn is the teacher. Always. (Says the professor with Saturn on her ascendant, ha.) For some, Saturn can feel as if it cramps one's style. Saturn is the one who says, "No, you can't have a career as a singer because you're tone deaf." But WHY Saturn says that matters. Maybe Saturn is just being mean. Telling the truth, but doing it to be mean. But maybe Saturn winces inside at the thought of someone Saturn loves getting up and making a fool of him/herself because Saturn doesn't want that person to be hurt.

So that's the puzzle one has to decide ... how does Saturn MEAN the critique/limitations, and can we live with it. In our natal charts, we have to learn to. But in composite (and synastry) charts, if we're not related to that person and required to stick around (*grin*), we can walk away.

But we'll usually KNOW it, going in. And Saturn will stick around, too, through thick and thin.

Neptune leads you down the primrose path straight to hell.

(Btw, my ex-husband and I had BOTH Saturn square Venus AND Neptune square Venus. The latter was far worse than the former. We also had some very good aspects, but not enough to make the marriage survive the double-whammy. Still, I'd go into another relationship with a Saturn/Venus hard aspect. I'll never again trust a Venus/Neptune, Moon/Neptune, Sun/Neptune, etc., hard aspect. Flee, flee, flee....)
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  #53  
Unread 03-28-2011, 05:23 AM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

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can anyone tell me what would be the very worst synastry aspects to have when reviewing the charts of two people. I was thinking sun square mars I heard that that aspects could mean violent arguments.
I feel that any negative Neptune and Pluto aspects are the real heavies.
Sun square Mars can mean arguments and violence but it would depend on the signs involved and the other aspects. It can give energy and
stimulation if handled correctly. Uranus for disruptive and unstable relations. Saturn can mean restriction and coolness. We need to look at the whole charts as always.
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  #54  
Unread 03-29-2011, 06:36 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

Mars-Saturn aspects are tough. Mars is always wanting to initiate and Saturn is always wanting to hold Mars back or limit it somehow. Sexually, it's a wet blanket.
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Unread 04-04-2011, 02:17 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

I am kinda very obsessed with smo whose Pluto conjunct Venus are Opposite my Venus and Quincunx my Sun

Should I try to run away...I tried actually... unsuccessfully
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Unread 04-04-2011, 05:04 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

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Mars-Saturn aspects are tough. Mars is always wanting to initiate and Saturn is always wanting to hold Mars back or limit it somehow. Sexually, it's a wet blanket.
I have this aspect with my boyfriend.His Saturn is exactly conjunct my Mars,and by 3 degrees conjunct my Venus and Ascendant.We are stuck together like a glue or something and this aspect is what made this relationship last so much.Even when I see problems in this relationship or when it becomes dull, I'll never think of leaving him,I'll stay and try to fix them,or endure them,unless it's something really serious,like infidelity or serious lies.He propably sees it this way too.Sex is great,but not so often.I think the Mars person feels obligated to the Saturn person somehow.Pluto is totally absent from our synastry,we don't have any power struggles,we are both free spirits and have fun with each other.
I've had a relationship in the past where there were Neptune trines to my venus and his moon and also pluto squares involving my moon and his venus and moon.Our moons were in square.This relationship felt like a dream and the feelings were very strong but it was too emotionally difficult to handle,it drove us both mad and we both needed to "control" somehow one another.I don't like people controlling me so I left,no matter how much I wanted to stay.
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Unread 04-04-2011, 05:51 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

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I think Saturn conjunct the ASC is more likely to do this or just be plain rejecting of the person's appearance. The problem is that you might get involved with the person because Saturn contacts will bind people together and in this case as time goes on the Saturn person will start picking the ASC person's appearance apart.
What about Saturn conjunct IC in synastry? Is there something relate with childhood issue or karmic bond from the previous life? and how it plays in relationship?
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Unread 04-04-2011, 06:31 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

One of the most painful aspect I experience is Neptune square Venus, Let's say in the theme of romantic love as Venus being;

If a guy is Neptune and a woman is Venus. Venus will feel beautiful by the romantic idealise of Neptune. He would be act as a romantic type, maybe he is really be or never been before, but she will arouses him to be like that, he would act out of his character and overwhelm by pushing the romantic feeling to her and the way she presents to him. Venus will never see the truth about his character. The beginning is beautiful as a romantic dream, but it would be worse as a nightmare when you awake and realise whatever you felt and thought isn't the way he is. You love your own idealist, he's not a romantic type or maybe he is, but it's not enough and not the way you want or picture on it at frist, and you can't have what you want for real. You would feel as you are killed by your lovely prince in the dream and painful...it's sound like a fairy tale.

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  #59  
Unread 04-10-2011, 08:34 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

The worset obvious aspect I have with someone is his mars square my sun and mercury - we can *really* get eachothers back up and the most trivial matters can turn into all out war!

However, I find his moon opposite my pluto, is probably the most sinister aspect with regards to manipulation and game playing etc
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Unread 04-11-2011, 03:53 AM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

One aspect isn't necessarily going to cause trouble unless there is no competing "better" aspects. Some bad aspects would be any of the luminaries square the mars or saturn of another's chart or the angles square a malefic in another person's chart, oppositions can be thrown in to such mix. Pluto squares and oppositions can be quite intense. mercury square the others mars can lead to intense intellectual disagreements. Also, aspects from a benefic to said offending malefic can counter things, trines more so then sextiles and jupiter more so then Venus. Also, we have to look at the fact trines to a son of a b@tches chart are a bad thing because they can blind the other person to what an sob said person really is.
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Unread 04-11-2011, 05:52 AM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

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One aspect isn't necessarily going to cause trouble unless there is no competing "better" aspects.
I find this interesting, as I'm inclined to agree, but wonder when is "too bad" insurmountable.

For instance, I have a number of really GOOD synastry aspects with one fellow, but we also have a Venus-Saturn square (my Saturn, his Venus) and a Sun-Saturn square (my Sun, his Saturn). To offset that are a Moon-Moon conjunction, double Sun-Venus sextiles (his to mine, mine to his), Mecury sextiles, Venus-Mars trine, and Sun-Jupiter trine (plus some other good stuff). I'd say the good outweighs the bad ... but I worry that the bad might be TOO bad, and eventually stifle the good. My ex- and I had a Venus-Saturn square AND a Venus-Neptune square (something missing this time). So I'm perhaps overly skittish of the Venus-Saturn square. I just look at it and worry. Our composite chart also has a real mix of good and bad, but our synastry chart is actually *better* than the composite chart, leading me to think the "potential" outweighs the "actual."

Anyway, when I see such really good aspects and some truly worrisome aspects, I'm never sure how to *weight* it. Saturn in synastry doesn't really form anything positive, although there are a lot of OTHER (non-Saturnian) positive traits.
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  #62  
Unread 04-11-2012, 12:03 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

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can anyone tell me what would be the very worst synastry aspects to have when reviewing the charts of two people. I was thinking sun square mars I heard that that aspects could mean violent arguments.
Personally I hate anything involving Saturn or Pluto as it means an imbalance of power. You can only bully someone into submission for so long before they resent you. Any hard aspects from Saturn or Pluto to personal planets will feel suffocating and you can only put up with manipulation from Pluto for so long. Neptune is pretty messed up too, you feel as if you can't reach them. Uranus I can tolerate, I'm good at adapting. And who doesn't need occasional breaks from their partner? hehe If I have to pick one, which makes me think HELL NO, GET AWAY FROM ME it would have to be Saturn hard aspect to Moon. Having someone control/stifle my emotions...struggling to breathe just thinking about it.
wow misspelling galore lol. *fixed
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Unread 05-20-2012, 09:03 AM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

for me:hard aspects to the moon and mercury. i was in a relationship once where the guy's mars/sun conjunction in aries (gasp) was squaring my cancer mercury. the constant avalanche of arian power made me withdraw completely.

i think in any relationship communication is the most important thing. you can have dazzling sex, but if you can't talk about things, that's where it ends. hard mercury aspects don't necessarily have to be detrimental, as long as both partners are willing to work on it, or at least be aware.

hard aspects to my scorpio moon are also not a winner for me. if i feel threatened on whatever level, i will simply emotionally withdraw.
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  #64  
Unread 05-26-2012, 02:22 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

let me add mercury square moon to this list. i have a double square with somebody i was once interested in. neither of us had the intention to hurt the other, but it's something that constantly happened. i ended up walking on egg shells around him and there'd still be miscommunication. this aspect is a dealbreaker to me.
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  #65  
Unread 05-27-2012, 01:44 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

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I'm going to go with mars square pluto or mars square saturn.
mars square saturn is the worst here, mars pluto is hot sex
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Unread 05-27-2012, 02:36 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

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for me:hard aspects to the moon and mercury. i was in a relationship once where the guy's mars/sun conjunction in aries (gasp) was squaring my cancer mercury. the constant avalanche of arian power made me withdraw completely.

i think in any relationship communication is the most important thing. you can have dazzling sex, but if you can't talk about things, that's where it ends. hard mercury aspects don't necessarily have to be detrimental, as long as both partners are willing to work on it, or at least be aware.

hard aspects to my scorpio moon are also not a winner for me. if i feel threatened on whatever level, i will simply emotionally withdraw.

I have to agree with you on Mercury in hard aspect to Moon. I dated a I had an opposition with, and I seriously would be sitting right next to him and not hear what he said. This was a consistent theme in our relationship, him having to repeat what he said to me! It was the weirdest thing and was the catalyst to breaking us up!! Well...he was also a jerk too!
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Unread 05-27-2012, 02:41 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

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I have to agree with you on Mercury in hard aspect to Moon. I dated a I had an opposition with, and I seriously would be sitting right next to him and not hear what he said. This was a consistent theme in our relationship, him having to repeat what he said to me! It was the weirdest thing and was the catalyst to breaking us up!! Well...he was also a jerk too!
i love it how the universe can be oh so helpful sometimes
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Unread 05-27-2012, 02:42 PM
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I have to agree with you on Mercury in hard aspect to Moon. I dated a I had an opposition with, and I seriously would be sitting right next to him and not hear what he said. This was a consistent theme in our relationship, him having to repeat what he said to me! It was the weirdest thing and was the catalyst to breaking us up!! Well...he was also a jerk too!
Hahaha is like different FM and AM radio stations.
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Unread 05-27-2012, 03:22 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

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i love it how the universe can be oh so helpful sometimes

I notice when I have the same synastry aspects over and over with the men I date I feel there is a karmic lesson involved. I usually attract some kind of hard aspect from Saturn to either my Sun, Moon, or ASC from the men I date. Definitely a lesson to be learned!! Saturn is my nemesis but also is my Sun ruler. Robert Hand told me this in a reading once that Saturn in hard aspect to Sun/Moon/ASC can be very rejecting(mostly to the ASC) and to the Moon and Sun, there is a feeling of fatedness but eventually ambivalence will develop between the couple and sometime coldness and disapproval. It's very difficult to overcome Saturn hard aspects to these planets and usually the harshness develops the longer you are together.
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Unread 05-27-2012, 03:25 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

i think it makes sense to attract the same kind of partners. when i look at my own patterns, it's very obvious my north node in aqua needs attention. my previous 2 love interests had their sun conjunct my NN, and another one his moon. my current one has a stellium of moon, venus and jupiter conjunct my NN. this can't be coincidence. i better learn this time
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Unread 05-27-2012, 03:45 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

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i think it makes sense to attract the same kind of partners. when i look at my own patterns, it's very obvious my north node in aqua needs attention. my previous 2 love interests had their sun conjunct my NN, and another one his moon. my current one has a stellium of moon, venus and jupiter conjunct my NN. this can't be coincidence. i better learn this time
Boy, I would take those "hard aspects" any day of Saturn to Sun/Moon/ASC!! That's very nice in my opinion!
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Unread 05-27-2012, 07:23 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

with the man who has his sun conjunct my NN, we have a double moon-mercury square, which is really nasty.

with the man who has his moon conjunct my NN, i also had his saturn on my NN. this is apparently an aspect that leads to a long lasting bond, but i just found it dulled his emotions. he and his aqua moon could not open up to me. my scorpio moon needs the intimacy.

when i met the current one and found out he had an aqua moon, i was very disappointed, but i think bc it's conjunct his venus and jupiter, it's a lot warmer than the aqua moon conjunct saturn.
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Unread 05-27-2012, 09:52 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

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Originally Posted by Kenoshamaensa View Post
Anyway, I just wanted to say that while Saturn can be a devil, I find the hard Neptune aspects much WORSE in a chart, and hard Uranus or Pluto ... essentially watch those big outer planets when they form hard aspects to your personal planets in composite!
I'm wondering if you meant Synastry here as well. My ex has Pluto square my Asc and opposing my Chiron. Her Neptune opposes my Moon. I just didn't know which way was up anymore... Intensely challenging, but only from my side of the fence. I think since these aspects involved her outers and my personals, that she didn't really understand why the relationship was so difficult from my perspective. Quite sad actually... although it was hugely transformative for both of us!
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Unread 06-09-2012, 11:43 PM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

The following is what I have observed in synastry and composite charts:

Mars in hard aspect to saturn because one person feels like they have the energy and will to do something but the other person deliberately tries to stop them, this causes resentment on both ends. Both partners could get in the way of the other' person's ambition and goals.

Venus in hard aspect to Neptune because of the inevitable dramatic disappointment, things seemed so beautiful but then all of a sudden the unpleasant reality comes out with a big bang.

Mercury in hard aspect to Neptune can cause both partners to feel that they have to intentionally mislead or lie to the other to have the other respect them. It is very easy for miscommunication to occur.

Venus in hard aspect to saturn is actually excellent for business partners or colleagues, you tend to attract more prosperity financially. However, in personal relationships there is a potent coldness that is hard to verbalize but is always felt. There is also a lack of physical affection.

Venus in hard aspect to Pluto causes obsessive compulsive relationships marked by extremes in feelings, jealousy, possessiveness and very heavy karma.

Saturn conjunct an angle makes one person feel that they are burdened or restricted by the other or that they are their teacher. I find Saturn on the MC or Asc is excellent for student-teacher relationships but not for personal relationships.

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  #75  
Unread 11-02-2013, 12:59 AM
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Re: the worst synastry aspects ?

His to mine:
Uranus opposite Venus taurus (5degrees orb)
Uranus square DC aquarius (7degrees orb)
Uranus trine Jupiter pisces (7th!)
But:
Saturn trine Sun
Saturn trine Mars
Saturn opposite Jupiter
Saturn square Saturn
Saturn sextile Pluto
Saturn square Chiron

Mine to his:
Uranus trine Mercury
Uranus trine Mars
Uranus trine Venus
Uranus sextile Pluto
Uranus conjunct Neptune
And:
Saturn trine Jupiter


So lots of Uranus versus Saturn! But his Uranus to my planets rather negative and my Uranus to his planets only positive aspects..
So who is the one who is rather affected by the negative side of Uranus?

And does Saturns strength into the relationship 'beats' Uranus' inpredictability?
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