5D Inspiration!!

Ukpoohbear said:

I haven't found a version of this song I like on youtube yet, so thought I would just post the lyrics. I love this song because it captures the feeling of grace when you finally are conscious about the suffering and then you love the wretched parts because it brought you to grace. And then also being thankful that God/consciousness created this whole journey.

Amazing Grace lyrics

Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see.
'Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear,
And Grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils, and snares
I have already come.
'Tis Grace hath brought me safe thus far
And Grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me.
His Word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures.
When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we'd first begun.​

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Moondancing said:

This is one where the background has a 5th dimension theme, imo.

Thinking that me or anyone else is a wretch never sat well with me. Christians have always had the nack of using harmful words to define people who suffer. Wicked, undeserving, etc. come to mind. But I do feel you've expressed the inspiration of this song well.

Thank you for the star idea. *When the clouds clear and I can see stars again, I'm going to select one for my pup Rusty. *

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=274&v=t5y6DvG-JGI&feature=emb_logo

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Moondancing said:

"Ask and it shall be given to you" Luke 6:38

Discovered this short audiobook 'Thinking From Imagination' that is free. There are 10 chapters and you'll find all of them on his channel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxGFzyyOSrQ

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"The physical world will only become clear to us once we can see it as a sort of mirror. It is a place that reflects back to us the inner concepts of our individual minds."

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Ukpoohbear said:

Started listening to the video, he sounds like a cool guy. So far it is outlining the importance of embodying what you seek to desire and letting your imagination guide you.

"Once you believe in yourself and your dream, you will mentally melt together with the stronger version you need to be in order to realize your dream."

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Ukpoohbear said:

Yes I know what you mean, the authoritarian fear-mongering is really off-putting. Then you get those religious, or even authoritarian types in general, having to wear a mask for fear of putting a foot wrong. Bring overly righteous is a sure warning sign right??

Have you ever seen the movie Pollyanna? It reminds me of the church scene in it when the minister is acting authoritarian -

'Death comes unexpectedly' - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpUBKw6i538

And then Pollyanna, our 5D girl spreading cheer, changes the town with her positivity and 'glad game,' -

The Glad Game - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ihxyf7A1hg

Have you seen the film Chocolat with Johnny Deep? He plays a gypsy in it and is outcasted by the village and its overly righteous priest, but the chocolatier owner and her daughter slowly turn things around and the priest ends up passing out eating so much chocolate when Lent finishes

Lots of 5D movies

It also shows the importance of shadow work and how wearing a mask of happiness is just as unhealthy as being outwardly negative is. So there was a real purpose in posting about shadow work in this thread and how its 'ok to not be ok,' and accepting you are not ok is the beginning of suffering consciously

Choosing a star for Rusty sounds like a good way to still feel close, he is undoubtedly still around you, in between flying around space full of freedom and feeling like a puppy again

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Moondancing said:

My dominate shadow is being a perfectionist. Use to put all my focus on perfecting others but someone pointed out that I might want to start with myself. When I saw the huge task ahead of me I knew the world would have to wait. Probably why I look to Jesus and Buddha, they represent the right solutions but impossible goals as I unceasingly look for a better way.

There is a danger for those who don't have a good self-esteem doing shadow work. A prerequisite might be learning to love yourself otherwise the deep work can be overwhelming and can make you feel worse. I use to beat myself up terribly.

MD

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Ukpoohbear said:

That's quite a good dominate shadow. I can see why it could have been turned around to turn you ambitious and self-focused. You sound like you would fit the 'helper' archetype. There is some co-dependency in there too, helping people so they are tied to you? Not in a sinister way but helping people so they can help you.

I would definitely say I am not a perfectionist. In fact, being stable enough to be a perfectionist would be a good goal for me, kind of what I have been working on. I am co-dependent though and conversely, very independent. Life/karma has given me lots of nice abusive relationships to turn me into an independent person who is scared of people. Of course, I still have the co-dependency issue, which is based around fear of the world, so integrating into groups is scary for me but great for my soul. Relationships I find easy, I can turn on the charm, but because I don't have a good foundation, an initial attraction is all there really is, whether it's me not liking them or me scaring them away, or liking the wrong ones subconsciously.

It's a great point you make about the dangers of shadow work for those without self-esteem. The biggest example that comes to mind is Marilyn Monroe who turned her back on Hollywood and joined the Actors Studio in New York in order to become a 'real actress.' The owner, Lee Strasberg, recommended she undertake psychotherapy in order to access her real emotions to be able to achieve this and many say this was a major part of her downfall.

I remember reading an excerpt from one of her diary entries that she had a nightmare that Strasberg performed an autopsy on her and inside her found nothing and she felt ashamed to show him as if she believed there was nothing inside of herself. She had also previously mentioned a 'nothingness.'

It's funny because Eckhart Tolle talks about the nothingness as a goal, it is what is behind the voce which thinks, it is the observer of thoughts and the Holy Spirit. So what she was scared of was her salvation, she should have embraced the nothingness and that would have allowed her to free herself from her ego. And I suspect she was blaming herself in the nightmare when actually deep-down she knew that Strasberg's methods were not the answer, it was merely a business or method he believed in, but it didn't lead to truth. If she had any self-esteem, she wouldn't have blamed herself and decided to trust in herself, but she was doomed, and the lack of self-esteem and mental health problems, possibly bipolar, was what made her a famous genius in the first place.

I think shadow work, if done properly, can alleviate danger. If it is making you worse, then the shadow is you need to love yourself and believe in yourself. Blaming yourself and finding fault is not shadow work but a shadow. However, that is just my opinion and everyone really should listen to their own mental health. For me to think shadow work is for everyone would be being just as Svengali-like and egotistical as Strasberg.

A lot of my shadow work was reflecting on emotional abuse growing up. I learnt not to blame myself, even though I still do and will always be that bit vulnerable, but I am not in denial about the violence that is caused by scapegoating and projecting on to someone. A lot of sensitive die because the internalize the hidden violence in people's actions and blame themselves. But I don't have bipolar or skitzophrenia, doing shadow work with a complicated condition like that, I would have no idea what to advice. Although, I have a friend who is skitzophrenia who has been treated like a victim and acts like one. Most of his issues are his unwillingness to look at that. He would lose his friend group, who mostly treat him like a victim, and he gets to blame other people too, it's a very safe place being an institutionalized ill person.

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Ukpoohbear said:

Another shadow of mine is narcissism running in the family. Just because I was the target of it, does not mean I am not narcissistic too. Sorry for talking about myself too much, I hate it A good way out of it is to help people, but not in a co-dependent way, but just to help them. That is why I made this thread probably.

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Moondancing said:

Perfectionism being 'quite good' is a stretch. It is excruciating to those who truly suffer with that personality. Yes, there are the gifts of efficiency, organization, attention to detail but looking deep you realize your running on fear and pretense not from your heart, your true nature. I'm most grateful that once realizing I was not healthy, my focus on growth and healing could not be subverted.

An interesting aspect in my chart is South Node being in Virgo where it's negative side is perfectionism and my North Node is in Pieces showing compassion, forgiveness and spirituality as the way out. I have to say I have arrived at my NN. Does that mean I don't have to be reborn?

Agreed that shadow work, if done properly, can be liberating as you see what the problem is and you can be empowered to make changes and make you feel human. Where I ran into trouble was forcing the issue. Fell in love with the insights that were life changing and trying to achieve those results with every thought that came into my pretty little head. Vipassana meditation taught me to cut the cord to so many issues that I could build a painful story around. Troubling indeed.

Read a survey once that showed the people most happy with their jobs were the people who blame others for the problems on their job. That ran against everything I was learning about the path to happiness. So your friend may be in the best place in his mind.

Relationships are complicated, to be sure. Often we are not receptive to people who come into our lives because of stress, overwork, self-esteem issues, negative thoughts, etc. Best I've come to expect of myself is to enjoy the moment when I have the opportunity to relate with another. Hope all is still going well with your friend who re-entered your life.

MD

Fascinating story of Marilyn Monroe! Always thought her a tortured soul stuck in a world that would only aggravate her mental problems.

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Moondancing said:

You have a nice gift of engaging with others. There is balance of listening and sharing. I'm mostly a lisner that way I don't have to talk about myself and be open to criticism or rejection. lol

MD

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Ukpoohbear said:

Yes I was quick to dismiss the shadow side of perfectionism without first contemplating what it would feel like turned in on itself. I imagine a severe inner-critic would be very disabling without a stone unturned. As the opposite of a perfectionist, I'm able to dismiss quite a lot about myself until I am no longer able to dismiss it.

Your nodes describe that journey perfectly. To turn away from harsh criticism and seek enlightenment instead. The need to reach enlightenment could be a perfectionist tendency, but one which can't be gotten to with hat tendency still intact. It sounds like an especially spiritual nodal axis and makes sense with your insights on what we have spoken about so far. Curiously, I haven't ever gotten a Virgo-esque sense of criticism from you in my direction, I think I am starting to see how much you punished yourself instead of others, which shows your good heart, but also the pain you caused yourself.

I think we are similar in that sense that we would rather hurt ourselves than other people but it's been good for me to learn to not take everything so personally and it's not always about me, it could just be about 'them.' Or as the universe is complicated, a whole mix of the two.

This ties in beautifully with what you said about the types of people who always blame others. They certainly cause a lot of damage and 'ignorance' is bliss. They're usually the most socially acceptable and personally heathy people too, at least on the surface. But, the shadow catches up with us all. At its worst, when people put a plaster of denial over themselves and cause all sorts of misery to other people, in the end up, they dig themselves a whole and the plaster gets ripped off. And the people who blamed themselves and struggled up the hill, learn not to, and start to enjoy life a bit more

It's situations like that that help me to put my trust in the universe because everything balances itself and you just need to concentrate on yourself. Instead of seeking redemption or karma to those who projected on to me, I can let it go.

Well, the friend who re-entered my life has already gone. It was a short but good exchange. I think he will be back. He tried to blame me for being too intense when that is true but not the whole truth. His head is up his proverbial buttocks at the moment (men). But we also got to know each other a little better and built something which can be continued another time. It is just my theory he will be back, I can also not pine for it but must embrace my life. About 3 months of my anti-depressants now and I sense a readiness for life.

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Moondancing said:

I never saw the inner-critique, even as painful as it was, just thought everyone lived that way in their mind. Then a therapist showed me a powerful technique. It was back in the day the inner child was born as a psychological tool. She had me imagine a child sitting next to me who was frightened and upset and asked me what I was going to say to her. No way could I beat up that child and at the same time I was seeing what I had been doing to myself. That is the scary part of shadow work, recognizing how you've hurt yourself for the love of others and also seeing it doesn't work.

As much as I would like to take credit for having a good heart, I use to put everyone on a pedestal. Can't criticise that or open myself up to being criticised by them. Now days it's much more inspiring dealing with real people. Not taking things personally is a great skill and since learning and truly understanding we create our own reality, it's neat to ask yourself "what does this tell me about how I see reality?"

Was curious what your friend was bringing new to the table. He knew your heart when he left last time. There something unforgettable, he just needs to figure out what it is.

BTW, last night I went out with my star app on my phone and picked the bright star Sirius. Found out it is also known as the Dog Star. Also found Venus which is beautifully displayed on the app. I use to have a dog I named Venus because she was born with Moon conj. Venus in Taurus.

What is the sign of your NN?

MD

Several times you've mentioned 3 months of anti-depressants. Do you mean 3 months on or off anti-depressants? Be inspired!

P.S. I think it's important to point out shadow work is for correcting attitudes you created to survive a life where others were in control and no longer needed to build a life where you are in control. I think that helps a lot in understanding your opening yourself to seeing a whole new world that exists.

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Ukpoohbear said:

That inner child critique is powerful. I once was watching my skitzophrenic friend berating himself and suddenly saw it as him torturing his inner child and told him. I don't think it would have been enough to cure him off it forever, but it left a lasting impression on me. It's a powerful image. I think that's another meme. It's such powerful imagery. It becoming popular in psychotherapy was a sure sign of the collective conscious evolving and being ready to heal itself.

I have only just recently started to come out of the pedestal/abandoned child stage and see the world more rationally.

What happened with this guy is actually a lot to do with that. He is currently got a lot on his mind and sorting out stuff in his head. When we first met I was lowering my dose on my anti-depressants and had little patience for his apathy. This time was a bit better but because he still isn't ready, he cancelled plans to meet up and it triggered my abandonment issues and we stopped talking. At least I recognize it and see it for what it was.

In your experience, were you able to implement this new reality as soon as you saw the old pedestal one for what it was, or was it a gradual change? I can imagine seeing this new reality transformed your relationships but because it's so new to me I haven't seen whether old patterns truly disappear or not.

Eckhart Tolle says, 'if you accept that relationships are here to make you conscious and not happy.' 'Conscious suffering.' wow.

Sirius the dog star sounds perfect, especially next to Venus your other dog. She sounded very sweet When things turn out so perfectly, or when the 'stars align,' (pun intended), that's proof of your pets talking to you

Oh so yes, I was on anti-depressants for 5 years and came off them recently. I think I type so fast I make silly mistakes between of and off.

I agree shadow work is for correcting attitudes and making them healthier. The inner child imagery would be so apt in helping to ensure shadow work is healthy and done with love, a meme needs to be created for it. Also, in contrast to shadow work, 5D says that it is ego that makes you think you need to work out how everything works, but you do not need to work out how a radio works to enjoy the music. So inner child and enjoying the music I think should be emphasized. As important as shadow work has been, which our recent conversations have shown, 5D says to sit back and smell the roses too.

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Moondancing said:

My new reality was slow to change my behavior. I liken it to having a dream of one day being healthy and leaving it to the universe to figure how you get there. When you think about it, so much has gone into our condition. We've been imprinted by our DNA, parents, siblings, acquaintances, past lives, media, astrology. Oh yeah, we can now add quantum physics to the mix. So darn complicated, I like to think I'm not to blame for any of my condition but then it also helps to extend that thinking to no one is to blame or everyone is equally to blame.

Thank you for the Eckart Tolle recommendation.

MD

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My shadow enjoying the sights.

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Ukpoohbear said:

Yes, if I am not to blame, then no one is. That thinking also helps alleviate symptoms of feeling like a victim and allows space for 5D and love. It makes sense that the behaviour was slow to change, especially with all the imprints you listed. Receiving the awareness is a huge step to even get to and comprehend, before it it is like fighting in the darkness and being unconscious. Even if the behaviour persists, I guess the reminder of the new awareness will slowly dig away at the root of the issue. Earth is billions of years old and events like paradigm shifts, evolution, all happens so gradually you can’t see it but change always happens. I’m grateful to have the awareness at all

with this new awareness, I am able to appreciate that needing love because of abandonment issues was ego-related and to truly love someone you need to give them love, space and freedom, they do not belong to you and to think they can heal you is false. It’s very 5D.

Love the hat! View looks amazing too. Are those views on your door step or do you need to travel? The photos of my walk are basically on my doorstep but to get to nicer views like a quiet beach would be just under an hours drive, although there’s a really nice forest about a half hour’s drive away.

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Moondancing said:

The awareness of what I was doing was huge in that I could no longer ignore or be unconscious to causing my pain. I was then stepping into the world of 'conscious suffering'? As I've often heard, you have to go through the pain to heal. But, the reward is Love and Freedom that takes you into another dimension. Not a dimension where I can walk on water, don't think there is anyone but Jesus who accomplished that, but the dimension where many others have successfully reach and can point the way.

As you cling onto someone, you know deep in your heart it is space and freedom your heart truly wants to express. One morning after a particularly rough night I woke to my radio playing the song "The Greatest Love" by Whitney Houston. The words learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all had me bolting out of bed. The concept of 'learning' to love yourself came as a revolutionary idea to me, it was a doable idea to me. It was an exhilarating experience. You know how many times I heard that song but the message never registered? Given a few days I'm sure I was slipping back into self-pity but from my vantage point now, I successfully reached my goal.

Interestingly, I came across my handwriting when I was younger and compared it to my handwriting today and the difference is drastic. There were huge loops in my youth because my sensitivity was off the charts. Today they are gone. It's nice to have some kind of measuring tool because the process is so slow you might wonder if progress has been made. Meditation when I first started was 5-10 minutes. It was a struggle and went on like that for years but kept trying and today I meditate for an hour twice a day. Took a course with Adyashanti and that helped greatly.

The views are nice but what you experienced on your walk, connecting with the earth barefooted, experiencing light and dark, ect. is what your heart brings to the moment and is magical. Nicer views is another way of looking outside ourselves. But I love photography and posting beautiful photos for an audience is better than my photos of the bark of a tree. lol But both can equally send chills through you.

MD

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