Saturn in the 7th // Saturn Return: My experience

Hi all,

This thread is not so much about me requesting advice, but it is more for me to crystallize the status of my current life pre-Saturn Return and hopefully later on share my experience post-Saturn Return. There are not a lot of threads about people's Saturn Return experiences in relation to their specific Saturn placement in their natal chart, so I thought I'd give my two cents.

I have Saturn in the 7th house in Capricorn. Saturn is due to enter my 7th house in a few days. The tSaturn conjunct Saturn is scheduled to take place from March 2019 to December 2019. It's a good stretch to see the impact of this transit on my life.

The 7th house is the house of relationships, thus I am assuming all types of relationships will come to the forefront (friendship, business, romance, etc..). Although the transit has not started yet, I am already feeling the internal shift from a mindset perspective.

As of now, my life can be summed up as follows:



Business:
I currently work in finance in a rather toxic environment. My direct manager who happens to be my own age clearly has insecurities which she makes sure to transpose upon me. I feel as though my own confidence and assertiveness trigger these insecurities and her sole goal is to undermine me. To be fair, I feel stiffled in this position which I am overly overqualified for and this incompetent management. My job is completely boring me, the salary is way below average and I don't get along with the people who sit around me in this office. Basically, I'm ready to fully move on to something new. I no longer recognize myself in this job nor in this office. The mental disconnect has already happened.

Romance:
I've never had a proper "serious" relationship. I've just gone from one heartbreak to another. My greatest heartbreak happened in 2014 after which I vowed not to date anyone. A year later I met someone I developed feelings for. We started dating in 2016, but the relationship was so conflictual that it lasted a few months and it ended in 2017. Both men ghosted me.
I've been single ever since & have not been asked out nor been on a date since January 2017.
There is this older man that I had met through business in 2016 and who kept chasing me all throughout 2016/early 2017. Then he got together with someone (30 years younger) and completely ignored my existence until they parted ways early 2018 when he started chasing me relentlessly again. I just found out they got back together, which explains his distance in the last few weeks. The geography being the issue in this dynamic, it felt like a pipe dream. The conenction is definitely there but clearly, the logistics are not. I've never been into older men and I'm still not, but there is something about him & our conversations that really mke my head spin. This has been the case since we met although whenever a guy catches me eye, he's always in my age range. He's the exception.
I've come to believe love is probably not meant meant for me & I'm not even seeking anything at this stage. I've just given up. After years of hoping this year will be the one, I've just decided to stop getting my hopes up.

One thing I am happy about however, is that I completely cleared my energy and myself from my past romantic attachments. I don't feel attached to any of my exes or crushes (well aside from this man mentioned above since we work together). I've completely let go and feel totally indifferent towards them. I think this is a good step.

Friendships:
I've met a lot of people in the last few years, since I finished college. Some relationships stay and other go. I'm mostly fairly isolated, but I'm someone who enjoys their alone time a lot. I just wish some friendships were to sustain.

Family:
I have not spoken to my parents and 2 of my siblings in 3 years. My family was extremely toxic with a lot of abuse both physical and emotional. I had to disconnect from them for my own well-being. It is sad not to have a family to visit during the holidays or to rely on whenever you're having a tough time, but they were never supportive of me. I felt consistently undermined, any happy moment was always turned into a sad one, no love ever shown towards me thus making me extremely closed off to people in general. My relationship with them caused me a lot of anxiety and even pushed me close to suicide many times. I have forgiven the hurt, but I need to focus on myself.

Roommates:
I have two roommates which are OK. We're not friends, but they're fine. They never ever clean and I have not seen them do so in 2/3 years. I clean every sunday and they never offer to help. I want to talk about this, but this may create issues, os I just let it be. I'm just tired of having to share my space with people who are basically strangers, but I guess given how expensive the city is, there is no way to have your own apartment. I also happen to think that given the fact I'm not surrounded by a lot of people, having people present in the apartment when I come home from work avoids me from feeling a painful loneliness.

How I see the future:
This transit is already making me question my entire life. Aside from wanting a new job and perhaps move to a new location, I'm also questionning whether I want to get married and have children. This last question has been weighing a lot of my mind lately although there is no real factor in my life which requires me to be thinking about this.

Given the fact I've been a rather "serious" person in my life (finances, health, lifestyle ...) and my weak point has always been relationships (other the lack thereof), I'm guessing Saturn will mainly teach me how to commit to long-lasting relationships. Whilst writing the above points, I've noticed there is a consistent aspect which translates from all these types of relationships .. it's the inconsistency of the relationships. My relationships have been lacking a lot/non-existent because they simply do not last, never get off the ground and usually don't last long. Every single human relationship type has fizzled after a short while in one capacity or another, leaving me alone with a non-existent "human interactions" department.

No one really knows who I truly am deep down inside as I've never had the chance to develop a long-lasting relationship with anyone (friendship/romance etc..) in order for me to open up. Intimacy is not a word that has ever existed in my life. It actually has never existed. Perhaps it's stemming from an actual fear or simply a loneliness destined to take over my life, I don't know. I'm surrounded by people who do not remain in my life, thus leaving me lonely. It could be I subsconsciously pushed them away.



Anyway. I just wanted to describe my life as it is pre-transit. I'm not entirely sure what to expect with this transit. I experienced Saturn in Scorpio 2012/2015 and it was the worst experience, but it made me stronger. I was actually happy that transit happened. If I'm still alive by the end of it, I'll update.

Thank you for reading & happy new year!

I'm honestly having very little patience with this transit already.

Honestly, as soon as Saturn entered the 7th house, my confidence took a serious nose dive for no apparent reason. I was a confident happy go-lucky person before that. Now I'm feeling incredibly insecure on general level and on the verge of tears all day. I have no clue how this happened.

There is just a general feeling of inadequacy. I'm feeling incredibly stiffled in my life & I just want to drop everything to start from scratch. This is not a pleasant feeling at all.

Hi, LostinPhilly. You'll probably get more and better responses if you post your natal chart. People will want to see if the Saturn transit is forming aspects with other planets in your chart.

I was just mentioning earlier today that the Saturn transit through my 7th house really tested me. It squared my moon; it was opposite my sun and conjunct natal Neptune and NN. I too kept feeling a desire to upend my life without a plan for what I wanted to do instead. The subsequent transit through my 8th house has been healing, I think, but also painful. Saturn teaches us what's enduring about ourselves and our lives, I think.

As for relationships being temporary, aside from your family, why did the other relationships end? Were there common themes?

Hi "Lost".
Frankly, a lot of what you will experience has to do with the placement of Saturn natally...the aspects made to and BY Saturn in your natal. The house that Saturn rules (I guess that would be your 7th, although you could have Sagi on the 7th and still have Saturn in Capricorn.

Another thing that will give you a different experience from another person with Saturn in Cap in the 7th is the other TRANSITS which occur at the same time, during the year that Saturn will be returning! So we need to see your chart, and if you could ask some specific questions that are relationship centered, you can get more specific answers. (YOu gave a lot of info but if you go back you will see that you really didn't ask specific questions. Astrologers are much more accurate when the enquirer asks specific questions. Even tho you said you weren't asking for advice you obviously are looking for "information". So....questions get answers. Statements are just statements.)

Because just because another person has Saturn in the 7th or even Saturn in Capricorn in the 7th they could have many differences in the positions of Jupiter, Mars, Venus, Mercury, Sun, Moon. See? ALL the planets in their respective houses must be appraised - another's experience could be extremely different from yours.
LIN

Hi Witchyone, LIN,

Thank you both for your input, greatly appreciated!

The reason why I didn't post my chart is because this is not the "Read My Chart" section, so I felt it wasn't adequate. In any case, it is now below.

I guess I just wanted to share my feelings currently as I am approaching the Saturn conjunct Saturn transit soon.

That's a very interesting couple of Yods you have there, especially the one with ASC at the midpoint of Mars and Jupiter.

In the other Yod you have Neptune Apex on the DESC with that prominent Mars opposite the midpoint of Sun and Venus/Neptune.

I am currently in a relationship with someone who has Mars in Gemini, and like you, I have a Gemini moon. Mars in Gemini can be very scattering, with difficulty staying focused and motivated to get started and also finish projects/tasks (my experience of my partner). With Neptune involved it's imperative to stay focused and not idealize relationships esp. with Saturn there (hard lessons through relationship, amongst other things).

I'm on my phone and it's difficult to write, so I will look more at your chart and reflect on it further at a later time.

Also, as some who married the absolute WRONG person during my 1st Saturn Return, be careful and go slow with 7th house matters during this first Saturn Return. My 1st Saturn Return destroyed my life and I'm still feeling the repercussions more than 30 years later.

LostinPhilly said:

Hi Witchyone, LIN,

Thank you both for your input, greatly appreciated!

The reason why I didn't post my chart is because this is not the "Read My Chart" section, so I felt it wasn't adequate. In any case, it is now below.

Click to expand...

You're welcome.
It might get moved. I'm not sure how that works. If so, honest mistake.

I guess I just wanted to share my feelings currently as I am approaching the Saturn conjunct Saturn transit soon.

Click to expand...

That's cool. Your chart is pretty fascinating with all those conjuncts, inconjuncts, and squares. Would you say you're more Scorpio, Capricorn, or Gemini? Or none of the above? Maybe a little Cancerish (oh! or Leolike)?

If you want a transit reading, a natal chart with transits would be better. It probably won't be me reading it, just fyi. I'm fairly new to reading anything other than natal charts.

You see what you left out, right??

NEPTUNE is the primary dynamic for delineating your 7th house. Saturn in the 7th is one thing...but when Neptune sits exactly on the cusp and you want the experience of OTHER people you must make sure they ALSO have Neptune ON the Capricorn 7th house cusp!

Otherwise there is not comparison.

LIN

Hi all,

Thank you very much for the assistance.

Please find below the chart with transits & progressions.

To be honest, I embrace each sign in my chart depending on the facet of my personality that I need to use.

For instance, emotions wise, I'm a full-blown Scorpio. I feel everything intensely, but prefer not to express anything as I don't like people in my business. I'm brutally honest & a bit sharp tongued.

At work with clients, I'm more so of a Gemini.

When I initially meet people, I'm the Cancer type (shy and reserved).

From a taste perspective, I'm for sure a Leo. I also have a fiery personality, so I guess in influences me a bit when I'm mad.

Funny you should say that because it's the Neptune on the 7th cusp which allows you to block other energy when you want to project the one you feel comfortable with at the time.
Anyway, I don't think you are going to find anyone with a chart enough like yours to be helped by a comparison.
You have 5 inconjuncts which form a couple of yods and that means that you would have to connect with someone born on your day with the approx the same birth time in your time zone. Not that easy to find.

I think you need to study YOUR chart yourself - by finding sources which describe and delineate your planetary data. I don't mean you shouldn't find a teacher, but trying to identify yourself by finding others with the SAME data will be almost impossible. Parts of it, yes, but a chart delineation is not done with a little of this person's experiences and a little of THAT person's experience. It's about you.
LIN

Lin,

I’m not looking for anyone with a chart like mine to compare. I don’t need to compare anyone to myself. Not sure where you got this from.

The reason why I posted the chart is because Iwas requested to, this was not the initial intent of this post. I was not specifically seeking a chart reading, but only meant to share my Saturn return experience. I’ve also been on countless chart interpretation websites and regardless, it can never predict what your Saturn experience is really going to be like.

I don’t understand the focus on Neptune, but anyway.

Thanks and have a nice day.

The fact that you are NOT focused on Neptune means you don't know enough about astrology to know what to ask; or know what is important.

You asked a question with incomplete information. That is why the chart is important. That is WHAT astrology IS. It is map reading. And the map, the WHOLE map, is vital in knowing the truth.

LIN

Your 7th house is very interesting. It is kind of camouflaged by that Neptune of the cusp of the house. The Descendant is the ‘doorway’ to the 7th.

Neptune is like our ‘blindspot.’ Like when you look in the rearview mirror before you change lanes, and you totally miss the speeding car sitting in your blindspot, coming up from your flank.

Your Neptune is sitting right in the doorway, blinding you to how you may come across to others who inhabit your 7th. When working closely in a partnership and/or a one on one relationship, you may miss important cues. Your social interactions may become awkward at times because of this blindspot.

That Neptune has a lovely sextile to the Sun/Venus conjunction in Scorpio in your 5th. I think you are probably quite stunning and very alluring. People are probably very attracted to your beauty and mystery.

But I feel that this may make you feel uncomfortable at times, partly because of that Neptune and that Saturn in your relationship house.

I worry that your family made you feel bad or guilty about the way others were attracted to your physical attractiveness. You may have learned to shut that down, to avoid familial conflict.

It is hard to move on from that and then feel free and easy when trying to establish new relationships now. I think this Saturn Return may help you RESET that energy and allow you to feel sexy and beautiful, without feeling shame and guilt.

Hi Katy,

Your post resonates a lot, actually.

My family really had an unhealthy perspective towards feminity in the sense that they made me ashamed of turning into a woman. Basically, the moment I hit 10, they assumed I would be having sex/watch adult movies or entice men when I was still a child. They would often call me names and accuse me of being with men when I was only 12 and hadn't even developed yet!

They really had a severe unhealthy view of sexuality and me growing into a woman. Although I fully embrace my feminity, I have a hard time embracing my sexuality. I always felt embarassed/ashamed whenever I kissed a guy or even when I was sexually attracted to a guy because it was always deemed a "dirty"/shameful thing in my parents' household.

So, yes, there had always been some shame and guilt towads beauty/feminity altogether. I actually felt ashamed of dating men. My parents had severe issues with the idea of me being with a man even as a grown up, that whenever I dated a guy, I was always afraid of my parents disapproval (as if I was 15 still). I think I carried that into my adult life.

This is probably the reason why I haven't had a relationship, just a few dates here and there. Men probably sense my inavailability both physically and emotionally.

LostinPhilly said:

Hi Katy,

Your post resonates a lot, actually.

My family really had an unhealthy perspective towards feminity in the sense that they made me ashamed of turning into a woman. Basically, the moment I hit 10, they assumed I would be having sex/watch adult movies or entice men when I was still a child. They would often call me names and accuse me of being with men when I was only 12 and hadn't even developed yet!

They really had a severe unhealthy view of sexuality and me growing into a woman. Although I fully embrace my feminity, I have a hard time embracing my sexuality. I always felt embarassed/ashamed whenever I kissed a guy or even when I was sexually attracted to a guy because it was always deemed a "dirty"/shameful thing in my parents' household.

So, yes, there had always been some shame and guilt towads beauty/feminity altogether. I actually felt ashamed of dating men. My parents had severe issues with the idea of me being with a man even as a grown up, that whenever I dated a guy, I was always afraid of my parents disapproval (as if I was 15 still). I think I carried that into my adult life.

This is probably the reason why I haven't had a relationship, just a few dates here and there. Men probably sense my inavailability both physically and emotionally.

Click to expand...

this is the result of retrograde Mars in your chart - read this: https://astrologyking.com/mars-retrograde/ and this: http://www.cosmitec-astrological-co...m/retrograde-mars-in-female-natal-charts.html

LIP - I respect that you said you didn't want to compare charts at all, but... we have similar charts, and you may have seen mine around here. If you want to trade experiences we definitely can.

Hi all,

Honestly, I have no idea what's wrong with me lately.

My confidence in myself has gone to 90% to -30 pretty much overnight.

This has happened especially at work as I'm normally confident (maybe a bit overly), target oriented, assertive, driven, full of great ideas .. However, these days I'm simply the shadow of myself. I'm doubting every single thing I normally am an expert in, start shaking whenever I receive an email and even when I set a foot in the office in the morning.
I even had an issue today on a operation type I had conducted without a hitch for 3 years!

It does not help that my manager has now shown her true colors and does not hesitate to undermine me in public or isolate me from the team. Yet, in the past, I had numerous great reviewed from senior management (people above her, she's middle-management).

I'm not interested in anything anymore. I simply worried all day, about what exactly, I don't know. I certainly feel trapped in this dead-end job, this toxic work enviornment and my utter loneliness.

I'm looking for a new job, but to be fair, I have no idea which direction to take. I simply know I want a more thrilling job than my current one. Part of me wants to leave the finance industry altogether, but part of me really enjoys it. I know I'm made for it, if my confidence were to pick back up. I think I'm simply in the wrong job.

Lost is the word & Saturn isn't even conjunct my Saturn yet... boy.

I'm incredibly lonely. The people I was friends with are gone.

LovelyMissAries said:

LIP - I respect that you said you didn't want to compare charts at all, but... we have similar charts, and you may have seen mine around here. If you want to trade experiences we definitely can.

Click to expand...

Absolutely!

Hi all,

I just wanted to provide an update on how my return is going.

When Saturn initially conjunct my natal Saturn, I thought things were going fine. I found a better-paying job which I accepted in a company that my family wanted me to join many years ago actually. I thought I was moving towards something better.

Although the environment of the new company is far healthier, the job itself is the most boring job I have ever encountered in my career. I do not want to sound ungrateful as I know tons of people would dream to join this company, but this job is a far cry from what I want. It is very routine-like and is exactly the polar opposite of my ideal job.

My former job was client-facing and dynamic, this one is a purely internal position with specific tasks to accomplish on specific days. It's like working in a box, but the environment is healthier.

In addition, some people have been dropping from my life now that I have moved on to a new company.

I feel extremely lonely, confused and stiffled in my own life. I basically cry every night when I come home, because I'm not fulfilled in any area of my life. I don't have a partner, I'm not in touch with my family no more and the few people I had in my entourage are no where to be seen.

I thought I was doing things right. I mean, I've never been the partying type and most of my twenties was focused on my career/studies. I haven't dated anyone in close to three years and I've been fairly conservative with my finances. I feel like once again, I'm getting the short end of the stick. I really feel like jumping off a cliff even though those thoughts hadn't crossed my mind since Saturn was in Scorpio in 2012-2015.

I'm constantly worried, anxious, stressed because I feel inadequate in my own life.

Have you considered reaching out to your family, in honor of your Saturn return?

Just a quick check in, casual communication, nothing heavy. It might lift a weight from your shoulders.