Social potential in my chart?(social anxiety)

Lykanized · May 25, 2018

I'm not looking to be able to manipulate people to get my way or attain friends via ingenuineness. That's not my style. I'm just a lonely soul. I don't really have any friends at all except online and maybe a couple offline

I have trouble developing deep connections with people and this is a multifaceted issue. On one hand, I'm quite an odd creature. I find it hard to connect with people as I'm just a different species. It's very very rare I find someone I can truly connect with and I'm not one for superficial connection

I seek deep connection, intimacy, even in friendships. I hate superficiality and tbh, it drains me. When I get to know people, I like to know them, the real them. I want to know their darkness and I want to be able to share mine with them too. I'm a very openminded and accepting person. I love people. I love getting to know people and I love good conversation

I've even been called charming and witty. But something is missing. Sometimes people think I think too much. Other times I feel like I throw people off by going too deep too quick. In other words, I'll talk about things that might seem taboo or that may make them feel uncomfortable. I have a high threshold and nothing really makes me feel uncomfortable so it's hard for me to understand other peoples' boundaries

I've had terrible social anxiety since I was 6 and right now I'm 24. It's gotten a lot easier, but it still plagues me. I constantly feel out of touch with people and like we're just not on the same wavelength. I crave intimacy yet I know in reality deep conversation is rarely found right off the bat. Despite that, I rarely find any kind of connection with people no matter how much I want to. I question myself A LOT. If I try to talk to people, afterward I'm filled with shame like I said something wrong

Despite all this, I LOVE people. I have a passion for people. I seek deep, free flowing, unfiltered conversation and whenever I do get this connection with anyone, it fills something in my spirit that I can't even put into words. I love people who aren't afraid to share the gritty details of their lives and their inner selves. I love people who others may see as odd. I love people who can share something I've never heard or thought of before

Like I said, I've been called witty and charming, but most often I'm pretty quiet and selfcritical. My desire to to be able to just be in the moment and no have anxiety holding me back from engaging people the way I want to. I want to have friends too

My question is... Is there potential in my chart for becoming more social, less self critical, more engaging, and working on that charm and wit? Where should I focus my energy in my journey to get out of my shell and defeat my social anxiety?

This is a quote from another thread...

Ukpoohbear said:
Hello me again lol

Venus conjunct mc trine Jupiter....you know they say even a square between venus and Jupiter is good because of the natural friendship between the two planets and the venus/mc is extremely positive too.

I have heard that venus conjunct mc can also give away too much of themsleves and so possibly the trine between Jupiter and Venus means that this happens very easily and explains why you prefer to indulge as opposed to plan.

It is a shame that a trine can be seen negatively like this but I guess that means a square can be good by giving motivation.

Doesn’t answer your question about being attractive,although venus conjunct mc trine Jupiter will be undeniably popular.

What struck me was that she mentioned these aspects might be popular, but I'm not popular at all. Throughout my life, I've generally gone under the radar. In highschool I was literally known as 'the quiet girl' lmfao

So that got me thinking that there might be potential in my chart to become more social as I desire to be

I am a bit tired at the moment so there's probably a lot more I could say and maybe I will tomorrow, but this is the gist of it all

Lykanized · May 25, 2018

I hope the chart's readable

More to add... I hate social networks. I'm a one-on-one kinda person. Social networks make me nervous, but a part of me wonders if that's one of my weaknesses preventing me from being able to make friends

I have an on off switch. I tend to keep people at arm's length until something clicks and I go all in. I'm either not invested at all, or I'm all in

I'm also not trying to make myself sound special when I say I'm odd and have trouble connecting with people because I'm just not on the same wavelength. That's just a fact. I find it hard to do things the way others do and I'm not interested in things others are. I've ALWAYS felt like an outsider or an observer and people tend to puzzle me. That's why I don't like social networks. I don't understand the dynamics and they make me nervous

I suppose I'm also wondering why in my chart I might be like this, but of course I'm also looking for aspects or placements that may help me get over my social anxiety and be able to make more friends. Real friends

Somna7H · May 25, 2018

Deleted.....

Lykanized · May 25, 2018

With respect, this is a deep issue for me and a very serious inquiry and I'd like to gain insight from others on my problems. You can make your own thread, tho

Tbh, I don't have any true friends either. Maybe one. But I have trouble understanding the concept of friendship and at what point someone becomes a friend since I desire such deep connection

Lykanized · May 25, 2018

I have trouble being 'natural'. Being in the moment with people. With people I know well, I'm very humorous, always joking, exchanging interesting ideas, trying to make them feel good as I do love to make people feel good

I believe myself to be so out of sync with people that it's hard for me to feel comfortable sharing anything. Sometimes I'm in my own world not exactly paying much attention to the world around me so when people talk to me, it's like they're snapping me out of my little fantasy world and I sound like a dumbass trying to understand what they're saying

I'm unsure of how to properly act in various types of social settings. I have trouble knowing exactly what's appropriate. I don't understand peoples' boundaries as I myself am quite open to talking about anything

I have a perception of myself as being behind, lower than others. This was more pronounced when I was younger. As I've gotten older this trait has alleviated a bit so I don't feel like I'm some alien sticking out like a pimple. But I still feel at a loss. I feel like there's something I'm missing that makes me abnormal. And I think it's true there's something abnormal about me, but for other people who are like that, they're able to be bold and let their freak flag fly. They're able to be social and charming despite being abnormal

I'm quite introverted. I get overwhelmed easily when it comes to people and it's usually because it all feels like there are obligations that must be fulfilled in order to sustain a friendship. I get overwhelmed by smalltalk, but I know that usually smalltalk is necessary to start a friendship

I believe I have potential to embrace my charm and make friends as I genuinely love people and know I have a lot to gain from engaging people, but I just want to pinpoint where in my chart, if anywhere, these traits may stem from so I can have a greater arsenal to work on them

Lykanized · May 25, 2018

I believe that I compare myself to others too much. So I'm keenly aware of how different I am and on some level I view myself as not being who or what I'm supposed to be just because I deviate. The issue is that I compare myself to others and I don't know how to stop doing that. If I wasn't like that, I could just be myself and not care if I'm different

Oddly enough, despite being a Cancer, I can be detached. An observer as I noted. Watching the world around me, the tragedy, the beauty, but not reacting...Processing in my own time. I'm not shocked by anything in the world. I am puzzled frequently, but not shocked

I grew up with a mother with anger issues and when she'd yell at the top of her lungs in my face or start to get upset, for whatever reason, I was unable to act or say anything. I would just completely detach. It wasn't until later on when I was alone I'd start parsing through my emotions

My point being, there's a delay in reaction I experience. I don't just express my emotions in the moment. I go through periods of introversion with them

This all is really so multifaceted... I just judge myself so harshly and I'm a very sensitive person but not the kinda person who can show that sensitivity to others easily. People tend to see me as more steely and unreactive when in actuality, I'm the opposite

I don't want to be the kinda person reacting to everything in the moment, but I want to be more natural with people, people I don't know. It takes me forever to get comfortable with people unless we happen to be on the same wavelength which is very very very rare. I just want to be comfortable with myself. I want to be able to say what I think and joke around and be my real self with people even if I don't know them so well. I want to stop caring if people judge me for being who I am. I want to get over my social anxiety !!!

Lykanized · May 25, 2018

If this is too convoluted...

TLDR; I have deep social issues and I'd love to know if anything in my chart points to potential to make friends and get on in the social realm easily. I don't want to be anything I'm not. I just want to be comfortable with who I am

Chrysalis · May 25, 2018

Id say its to do with chiron in your 12th house...

"Struggle with developing the feeling of union with others and feeling lonely as a consequence. Possibility to feel linked to a collective karma and having difficulties letting go of the past. Escapist behaviors are possible as well as unrealistic dreams, boundaries issues, and savior-victim patterns. Ego can be hard to define, feeling rootless."

https://www.lookupthestars.com/single-post/2017/10/04/Chiron-in-the-natal-chart

Lykanized · May 25, 2018

Chrysalis said:
Id say its to do with chiron in your 12th house...

"Struggle with developing the feeling of union with others and feeling lonely as a consequence. Possibility to feel linked to a collective karma and having difficulties letting go of the past. Escapist behaviors are possible as well as unrealistic dreams, boundaries issues, and savior-victim patterns. Ego can be hard to define, feeling rootless."

https://www.lookupthestars.com/single-post/2017/10/04/Chiron-in-the-natal-chart

Thank you!
I figured my Leo being in my 12th house may contribute to low selfesteem, but it never occurred to me the Chiron there could play a part too. I assume since Leo is linked to the 5th house therein may lay part of the key to conquering this, especially since my Neptune is also present there

Do you think there are any other aspects in my chart that may aid me in being able to harness social skills? If you can't see anything more, that's fine. That info about the Chiron was a great insight, so thank you again

Chrysalis · May 25, 2018

Your asc ruler is in your 11th house, so the way you are affects your friendships for good or bad, and your mercury is trine pluto, which gives you the depth you want/and act, with regards to your friendships.

Sometimes people think I think too much. Other times I feel like I throw people off by going too deep too quick. In other words, I'll talk about things that might seem taboo or that may make them feel uncomfortable. I have a high threshold and nothing really makes me feel uncomfortable so it's hard for me to understand other peoples' boundaries

This would be the merc/pluto and merc/neptune opposition.

1st ruler in your 11th is also probs showing you can express your personality best when you're surrounded by people with similar interests, yet who also
allow you the freedom to be who you are.

Ukpoohbear · May 25, 2018

Lykanized said:
I'm not looking to be able to manipulate people to get my way or attain friends via ingenuineness. That's not my style. I'm just a lonely soul. I don't really have any friends at all except online and maybe a couple offline

I have trouble developing deep connections with people and this is a multifaceted issue. On one hand, I'm quite an odd creature. I find it hard to connect with people as I'm just a different species. It's very very rare I find someone I can truly connect with and I'm not one for superficial connection

I seek deep connection, intimacy, even in friendships. I hate superficiality and tbh, it drains me. When I get to know people, I like to know them, the real them. I want to know their darkness and I want to be able to share mine with them too. I'm a very openminded and accepting person. I love people. I love getting to know people and I love good conversation

I've even been called charming and witty. But something is missing. Sometimes people think I think too much. Other times I feel like I throw people off by going too deep too quick. In other words, I'll talk about things that might seem taboo or that may make them feel uncomfortable. I have a high threshold and nothing really makes me feel uncomfortable so it's hard for me to understand other peoples' boundaries

I've had terrible social anxiety since I was 6 and right now I'm 24. It's gotten a lot easier, but it still plagues me. I constantly feel out of touch with people and like we're just not on the same wavelength. I crave intimacy yet I know in reality deep conversation is rarely found right off the bat. Despite that, I rarely find any kind of connection with people no matter how much I want to. I question myself A LOT. If I try to talk to people, afterward I'm filled with shame like I said something wrong

Despite all this, I LOVE people. I have a passion for people. I seek deep, free flowing, unfiltered conversation and whenever I do get this connection with anyone, it fills something in my spirit that I can't even put into words. I love people who aren't afraid to share the gritty details of their lives and their inner selves. I love people who others may see as odd. I love people who can share something I've never heard or thought of before

Like I said, I've been called witty and charming, but most often I'm pretty quiet and selfcritical. My desire to to be able to just be in the moment and no have anxiety holding me back from engaging people the way I want to. I want to have friends too

My question is... Is there potential in my chart for becoming more social, less self critical, more engaging, and working on that charm and wit? Where should I focus my energy in my journey to get out of my shell and defeat my social anxiety?

This is a quote from another thread...

What struck me was that she mentioned these aspects might be popular, but I'm not popular at all. Throughout my life, I've generally gone under the radar. In highschool I was literally known as 'the quiet girl' lmfao

So that got me thinking that there might be potential in my chart to become more social as I desire to be

I am a bit tired at the moment so there's probably a lot more I could say and maybe I will tomorrow, but this is the gist of it all

The venus-Jupiter trine is maybe a bit far at 10 degrees and separating now I see the chart. Venus square moon will have an effect too. But if Astro counts it then maybe it counts. Oh and Venus isn’t conjunct either but still in 10th so not as efffective but still a great placement for venus.

Lykanized · May 25, 2018

Ukpoohbear said:
The venus-Jupiter trine is maybe a bit far at 10 degrees and separating now I see the chart. Venus square moon will have an effect too. But if Astro counts it then maybe it counts. Oh and Venus isn’t conjunct either but still in 10th so not as efffective but still a great placement for venus.

What do you mean they aren't conjunct? You mean the Venus and MC? Well in my chart they are. I have to admit, I play it loose with orbs. For instance I recognize myself in the Venus-Pluto inconjunct, but they're 4 degrees apart. Not registered on astrodeinst, but I definitely feel it. Unfortunately since that means I have 3 inconjuncts to my Venus lol

How do you think the Venus squares affect things?

Lykanized · May 25, 2018

Chrysalis said:
Your asc ruler is in your 11th house, so the way you are affects your friendships for good or bad, and your mercury is trine pluto, which gives you the depth you want/and act, with regards to your friendships.

Sometimes people think I think too much. Other times I feel like I throw people off by going too deep too quick. In other words, I'll talk about things that might seem taboo or that may make them feel uncomfortable. I have a high threshold and nothing really makes me feel uncomfortable so it's hard for me to understand other peoples' boundaries

This would be the merc/pluto and merc/neptune opposition.

1st ruler in your 11th is also probs showing you can express your personality best when you're surrounded by people with similar interests, yet who also
allow you the freedom to be who you are.

That really rings true for me...
In uni, I'd been studying computer science but taking creative writing courses on the side and in those creative writing courses is when I've felt most comfortable, most able to get out of myself. I felt happy

I've recently decided to switch to English as my full degree so perhaps in that environment I'll learn to get out of myself even more with people who share my interests. Needless to say, I'm pretty introverted, but hopefully I'll learn skills I might be able to translate to other settings where I might not exactly feel there are shared interests

Pluto is a *****... It feels like if there isn't extreme depth and connection, if there isn't something touching the core, then there's nothing. And then it's hard to have patience for superficial communication or to understand what friendship really is since this kinda connection is so hard to find

Social potential in my chart?(social anxiety)

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