Why do I struggle with people so much?

Earthmama · Apr 27, 2011

Hi

Such a negative question I know, but I just feel that no matter how much self help, etc etc I always seem to struggle with interactions with people so much. Usually I just deal with it, sometimes it is so intense and unimagined. Quite a few people blatantly speak their mind to me in what they think of me.

I've been looking to astrology to try and understand myself more and improve how I interact with others and would be great to see if anyone can see any obvious things from my details!
thank you in advance

my details.
11.01.77
0935 am birth time
uk

Earthmama · Apr 27, 2011

Sugar said:
Could you be more specific?
are you the problem or is it other people?
Who's at fault here?

I have always blamed myself but over the last 10 years or so gradually I've worked on realising that I am not ALWAYS to blame for everything

I tend to take on other peoples blam, responsibility, guilt, then feel guilty about that! argh! I'm thinking it may have something to do with my libra moon, trying to balance things out all the time.

The main thing that I'm concerned about is why a lot of people seem to just straight off get a completely wrong judgement of who I am e.g. looking down on me, tut tutting, disregarding what I say, seeing me as being bitchy. I am not that type of person at all, I am not perfect but I detest those things.

Also a lot of times over the years, I have had good friends who have liked me for me, then dropped me just like that, over a lie they've been told about me, or just went off me - recently a friend of a lot of years abruptly ended our friendship due to me 'being a taker and a user'?! I have been there for this friend SO much and I know that she is going through a lot of difficult things, and have analysed myself and I know her words are totally untrue, but I just don't understand WHY some people just believe lies about me. Could it be connected to being born under mercury retrograde?

Believe it or not I usually am very positive, and look for the good in others, always try to see things from the other's point of view, but I've been changing over the last few years as I have realised that I am not to blame for everything that goes wrong in my life and the lives of others close to me. I have learned this the hard way.

Sorry for long post!

Skillcoil · Apr 27, 2011

I think it involves Aquarius Ascendant with Antares conjunct MC. I have this also and I've had difficulties interacting with others. Did you notice any difference when your Asc progressed into other signs?

Earthmama · Apr 27, 2011

Sugar said:
What are you going to do?
I'm inclined to believe you take advantage of people, do you er... offend people with your speech?

I believe you don't mean too, but you seem unorthodox. When you speak to conservative minded people they will take it wrong way. I suggest you observe how you interact with others. Observe your feelings, but more importantly their feelings.

I understand the Libra moon, but on a deeper level because mine is in the 12th. I do the same thing. Trying to balance both sides, but ended being ostracized.

To combat this I detached my ego when speaking to others. I intelligently sorted others feelings and tried to remind others we're on the same team. By doing this no anger came about.

Thank you Sugar for your input. What makes you say that you're inclined to think I take advantage of people? I get taken advantage of a lot, and with this friend in particular, she was actually more of the taker than I was. This is what is heartbreaking for me as I compromise a lot in relationships and have been taken advantage of so many times. I am starting to give to myself more because of this. What makes you think this?

As for my speech, I think you are right about that. I know what I want to say but have always found it hard to put things into the right words. I often come across as abrupt as my thinking is very delayed and I become confused easily.

In regards to regarding others feelings, I think thats been a big part of the problem for many years as I have considered other's feelings before my own, and conformed/ compromised my own and therefore haven't been true to myself. I am a compassionate person.

Is unorthodox a bad thing? I can identify with being unorthodox, I do tend to not fit in to the' norm'.

thank you for your honesty, although I don't agree with every point I will think upon these things....

Earthmama · Apr 27, 2011

Skillcoil said:
I think it involves Aquarius Ascendant with Antares conjunct MC. I have this also and I've had difficulties interacting with others. Did you notice any difference when your Asc progressed into other signs?

Thank you. Excuse my lack of knowledge but how do I tell when my asc progresses into other signs?

danashock · Apr 27, 2011

well you do have a packed 7th house and having the heavy duty difficult planets there (pluto and saturn) will attract very difficult and aggressive/attention seeking people into your life (afflicted leo). moon and leo energies suggest that the type of obnoxious ppl youre attracting may also behave regressively and be very childish/and attract ppl younger than yourself. my guess is that the problematic people you are facing are also mostly females.

what may complicate your problem more is that you have jupiter in the 3rd opposing uranus in scorpio and mercury conjoining mars aquaring pluto, and that may make communication tricky because your words come out too strongly and sound outrageous to others! try to give more thoughts to your words to avoid misunderstandings.

since your north node is in 29 libra, i think that youre really meant to attract these types of people and really play a fair game in relationships. with that 3rd house jupiter and a gemini south node i think you may have talked your way out of things for so many lifetimes and now its time to do justice in your relationships with other people

waybread · Apr 27, 2011

Earthmama, I would look at your Mercury-Mars square to Pluto and your moon. Mercury and Mars are in your 11th house of friendship, and when planets in this house are challenged, friendships can be troublesome. Mercury-Mars can indicate aggressive (Mars) speech (Mercury): even when you think you're merely sharing your reality with someone, they are apt to see you as speaking in a critical way. The square from Pluto gives an added dimension of a "dominate or be dominated" quality.

Just now transiting Pluto is hitting your natal Mars, which can have several effects. You might find yourself embroiled in "fight or flight" situations--where someone seemingly tries to dominate you but you feel you can't back down; or where other people perceive you as trying to dominate them--even when you aren't.

Your 11th house of friendship is ruled by Jupiter. That's not bad but it is retrograde. Retrogradation can take some of the air out of Jupiter's tires, and with the opposition from Uranus, your friendships can start and end quickly. Saturn square Uranus can also make it difficult for people to know where they stand with you because these energies are so different; but Saturn in the 7th "house of open enemies" may make people think you dislike them, even if you don't feel that way.

What to do?

Have you ever seen yourself on something like a videotape or skype? Try talking into a camera such that you can play it back to yourself. I have found this to be very revealing! If you see something in your communication style that bothers you, you can begin to practice a more approachable style.

Also, are you associating with people like yourself, or with people with whom you have nothing in common? It's easy to develop low self-esteem when you are stuck with people who have made up their minds about you in a negative way. Moving to a new location might help if that is something you can manage.

With Chiron (the planetoid that shows you "where it hurts") squaring your sun, you may suffer from self esteem issues generally. Anything you can do to help out your self confidence should be beneficial. Something like a yoga or meditation program, buying yourself fresh flowers at the market, listening to your favourite music, &c.

I notice your nickname--not bad for someone whose sun in Capricorn closely trines Jupiter in Taurus! If you really do have a love of nature--be it the wilder places or a small home garden--getting in contact with the earth should be a real healing experience for you.

Earthmama · Apr 28, 2011

Sugar said:
go to astro.com
1. extended chart selection
2. under the headline "methods" choose progressed charts , select "click here to show chart"

That is your progressed chart.

Now; you don't take advantage of people, they just see it that way. They don't understand you.

You know how they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions?
well thats you. You don't mean to **** people, but that's the result

Coming back to astrology, I would say the 12th house and the squares to the moon.
With the ruler of the 12th Saturn in the 7th Leo, what ever takes place in the 7th house serves the 12th. I would see this as a delay and sacrifice of relationships for a higher ideal.

7th house= Libra - relationships
12th house= Pisces - sacrifice

I can totally identify with what you've said. I've attached my progressed chart also. Hopefully this will shed more light on things!

Earthmama · Apr 28, 2011

danashock said:
well you do have a packed 7th house and having the heavy duty difficult planets there (pluto and saturn) will attract very difficult and aggressive/attention seeking people into your life (afflicted leo). moon and leo energies suggest that the type of obnoxious ppl youre attracting may also behave regressively and be very childish/and attract ppl younger than yourself. my guess is that the problematic people you are facing are also mostly females.

what may complicate your problem more is that you have jupiter in the 3rd opposing uranus in scorpio and mercury conjoining mars aquaring pluto, and that may make communication tricky because your words come out too strongly and sound outrageous to others! try to give more thoughts to your words to avoid misunderstandings.

since your north node is in 29 libra, i think that youre really meant to attract these types of people and really play a fair game in relationships. with that 3rd house jupiter and a gemini south node i think you may have talked your way out of things for so many lifetimes and now its time to do justice in your relationships with other people

Wow. Everything you have said is spot on. It's really got me thinking! I have always attracted aggressive women. As for my words, they definitely do sound outrageous at times. I get confused very easily and can be blunt, matter of fact, however I have been extremely aware of this recently and been making an effort to think before I speak, especially my tone of voice. I am definitely often completely misunderstood.

I have definitely talked my way out of things over the years, and lately have felt an urge to confront and deal with difficult situations and people, instead of running. So it makes a lot of sense that now its time to balance things out with people.

thank you so much. :wink:

Earthmama · Apr 28, 2011

waybread said:
Earthmama, I would look at your Mercury-Mars square to Pluto and your moon. Mercury and Mars are in your 11th house of friendship, and when planets in this house are challenged, friendships can be troublesome. Mercury-Mars can indicate aggressive (Mars) speech (Mercury): even when you think you're merely sharing your reality with someone, they are apt to see you as speaking in a critical way. The square from Pluto gives an added dimension of a "dominate or be dominated" quality.

Just now transiting Pluto is hitting your natal Mars, which can have several effects. You might find yourself embroiled in "fight or flight" situations--where someone seemingly tries to dominate you but you feel you can't back down; or where other people perceive you as trying to dominate them--even when you aren't.

I had never heard of a progressed report until sugar mentioned it in a previous reply. I would be interested and very grateful to know if you have any comment on my progressed chart...
Your 11th house of friendship is ruled by Jupiter. That's not bad but it is retrograde. Retrogradation can take some of the air out of Jupiter's tires, and with the opposition from Uranus, your friendships can start and end quickly. Saturn square Uranus can also make it difficult for people to know where they stand with you because these energies are so different; but Saturn in the 7th "house of open enemies" may make people think you dislike them, even if you don't feel that way.

What to do?

Have you ever seen yourself on something like a videotape or skype? Try talking into a camera such that you can play it back to yourself. I have found this to be very revealing! If you see something in your communication style that bothers you, you can begin to practice a more approachable style.

Also, are you associating with people like yourself, or with people with whom you have nothing in common? It's easy to develop low self-esteem when you are stuck with people who have made up their minds about you in a negative way. Moving to a new location might help if that is something you can manage.

With Chiron (the planetoid that shows you "where it hurts") squaring your sun, you may suffer from self esteem issues generally. Anything you can do to help out your self confidence should be beneficial. Something like a yoga or meditation program, buying yourself fresh flowers at the market, listening to your favourite music, &c.

I notice your nickname--not bad for someone whose sun in Capricorn closely trines Jupiter in Taurus! If you really do have a love of nature--be it the wilder places or a small home garden--getting in contact with the earth should be a real healing experience for you.

I didn't realise astrology could be so specific. I'm blown away by all the replies that I've had and how accurate they have been. I have been associating with a few people over the years that I don't have much in common with. Again, it's something that's been transitioning the last couple of years, and I'm gradually moving in different circles with like minded people.

Your analysis has really hit home with me and confirmed a lot of things I am dealing with. And given me hope! lol .

I had never heard of a progressesd chart until sugar mentioned it in a previous post. I would be interested and extremely grateful for any comments you may have regarding my progressed chart waybread...

waybread · Apr 29, 2011

Hey, thanks!

A progressed chart basically shows how you are growing and maturing. Your natal chart is your basic road map, but a progressed chart shows your progress along the way. The most common kind, called a secondary progression, basically equates one year of life to one day of the sun's passage through the zodiac; with other planets moving at their proportionate speeds. So you will find the inner planets moving a fair bit, especially the moon; but the slow-moving outer planets won't change very much.

With your sun, Mercury, and Mars now in your 11th house of friends, friendships (acquaintances, groups to which you belong) have become extra important to you. Saturn now opposing your Mercury/Mars is really highlighting your assertive (Mars) communication style (Mercury), making you wonder if there is something wrong with it. This doesn't mean you do objectively have a problem, only that you will feel as though you do. With the square to Uranus, watch out for sudden arguments. With Uranus in the 7th, this traditional house of marriage can take on its secondary meaning as the house of open enemies.

Yet Mercury/Mars are making a strong trine to Pluto in the 6th, which is also the tip or focal point of a kite formation. This would seem to ask for profound transformation in 6th house matters, namely your health and work/service. This might be a good time to look at how you are of service to other people.

With Pluto squaring your progressed moon in Capricorn, you may feel like a loner at this time. That's not all bad. It is better to spend time feeling content by yourself than upset by people who bring you down.

With your progressed Venus trining Neptune, this is a good time for you to engage in artistic expression--or to enjoy the arts produced by others.

Why do I struggle with people so much?

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