My life: When does the way continue upwards?

Hello dear experts,

for some time I am in a low: There are problems in really all areas of my life. Shall I begin?

Job: My employment contract has expired and has not been renewed. At the moment I don't even have a clue how & where to go next. Perhaps still interesting: In my former job I was bullied by my colleagues. At the moment I am in parental leave. But what about next?

Finances: Always a difficult topic for me. But at the moment - just because of my missing job - a real catastrophe. When does the way continue upwards? Will I ever be financially well-off?

Private: I feel left alone by my friends for a long time. Initiative always comes from me. If I don't get in touch, it seems as if I'm forgotten. No one asks for me, nobody gets in touch with me. What should I do?

I don't like to fall into self-pity, but if you sum it up, things have been going badly for me on all levels for some time now. And this despite the fact that I am committed and anything but idle. I am at the end of his inner strength. This low has been running through my life for quite some time and slowly my will to live is leaving me.

Would you like to have a look at my radix? Do you see if and when things are looking up for me?

I thank you very, very much!

Link to my chart: https://horoscopes.astro-seek.com/c...timezone_dst_form=auto&house_system=placidus&

No kidding, you've been hit by heavy transits from at least 2015 when the final Pluto-Uranus square was within 3 degrees of your natal Pluto. Through the past years up until now, you've gone through a whole gauntlet of outer planetary transits, since there have been so much, I will briefly touch on some of the ones that have been assailing you most recently.

The nodal axis went over your MC/IC axis last December. You have mentioned your employment issues as well as "parental leave" which I'm assuming means that you are expecting a child in your life very soon. I would not be surprised if your employer decided not to renew your contract primarily for that reason. What you loss in employment (SN on MC) you will gain in childbirth and the home (NN on IC).

You are coming up on a bunch of mid-life transits that have the effect of destabilizing you and to compel you to take a hard look at your life to see what is serving you, what needs to be let go, and what you can hold unto and bring with you in the new phases of life. Not only are you going through Pluto square Pluto at the same time as Neptune square Neptune (this happens only with specific generations) you are also experiencing transiting Saturn square your ascendant Pluto. The effect of Saturn/Pluto can be described as "a great zeroing" where all the seemingly solid foundations of one's life are destroyed and one is tasked to start again from the bottom up. Not only is Saturn currently making such an angle operative in your current life, but the current Saturn/Pluto conjunction in Capricorn also squares your ascendant, showing that this combined planetary force is challenging (square) your very way of life and being in the world (ascendant). There is a lot of death energy going through your life at this point, and anything that no longer serves you is being wrest from your grasp, most likely unwillingly.

Saturn will still be challenging your ascendant/Pluto for another couple of months until mid July when it retrogrades out of orb but will get back within orb of your asc/Pluto by the end of November and by about the end of January will begin to separate from the close angle.

Perhaps you haven't gotten any replies because nobody wanted to break it to you that you will be going through difficult transits for a while yet. The conjunction of Jupiter/Saturn near your IC indicates a "legacy-creating" event in the home sphere, and this might indicate that the responsibilities, authority and leadership of parenthood begin to take precedence over other areas of your life. 2021 will see Pluto edging closer and closer to the IC cusp, showing that a lot of your energy will be tied up in the 4th house sphere for years to come. The NN/SN across the MC/IC axis may have had the effect of clearing up this aspect of your life in preparation for the role that you will play as a parent.

A little bit on your friendships. There is are indicators in your chart that you may have a difficult personality, tend to send mixed messages to the people you want to connect with, and are self-oriented more than other-oriented. Your chart indicates that you are naturally inclined to a more proactive approach to people and events, and that activities are unlikely to advance if you don't take the first steps to make them happen. Specifically regarding your bullying experiences, we see that you have Pluto on the ascendant, which can be a placement that attracts bullying or is the bully (In any planetary configuration, Pluto is the one affecting the other as it is the most "superior" due to the length of its orbit. Pluto is dominance). Other than that, you have Saturn in the 11th house square your Mars/Mercury/Neptune in Sagittarius which is a configuration that cause a lot of problems in the interpersonal sphere. Neptune's slow sojourn through Pisces has triggered the squares from Sagittarius/Virgo and is showing you where you truly stand in your friendships, indicating to you where you were looking through rose-coloured glasses and the subsequent disillusion you feel when the reality of the situation makes itself known.

There is quite a bit of influences that are going on con-currently to these which will augment and combine to cause further confrontations and events in your life. These should give you a glimpse of the forces at work for you at this point in time.

Puh. That sounds hard. Thank you in any case for your honest words. In summary it means it's going to be difficult for quite a while, right? I secretly feared it (and somehow still hoped for some positive news). Honestly: I am afraid that things will change. I am a person who doesn't like changes.

About the children: I am currently on parental leave because in august 2018 I became mother again. A little boy. I also have a five-year-old daughter. I love both of them more than anything, but at the same time I'm afraid that I won't be a good mother because of the difficulties in my life. For them (and my husband) I try to be strong. Even if it looks completely different inside me.

I thank you very much for your effort and don't want to take advantage of you at all. But: Can I still ask a question quickly? Can you see when better times will come again?

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

PS: I am no native speaker and hope you understand me nevertheless?

I can understand you perfectly well. On the other hand, is there anything that you might have missed in my previous message to you?

Speaking only transit-wise, the difficult transits will continue for a number of years (yes, I know how that sounds). Next year, Uranus will be opposing your Venus and triggering the Venus/Chiron opposition shown in your chart. The combination of a discordant Venus/Uranus/Chiron along the ASC-DSC axis with the ongoing Neptune transit over your Mars/Merc/Neptune sq Saturn shows that you can expect to have more challenges in the relationships spheres of your life, as the integrity of the connections you currently have will be tested.

Then the Uranus opposition to your chart ruler (Venus) will act as a precursor for the Uranus opposition Uranus transit that will occur some time after (in the year 2022). At the same time you will be having Pluto transiting the IC (home life). Both indicate upheaval in integral spheres, in the mundane and arcane spheres of life. However this may also lead to greater growth and authenticity in your life, as both energies (as archetypes unattached to human vehicles) force honesty through showing you just how little you know or have control over. Fortunately both transits are also potential sources for empowerment, especially factoring that you will be experiencing transiting Pluto sextile Sun. Sextiles are aspects of opportunity and not foregone conclusions, so with some conscious effort on your part, the accumulated wisdom that you would have gained from the gauntlet of previous years can act as foment for a renewed strength and purpose that is more in line with your fundamental nature. If you view the chart through a psychological lens, the IC is a house of depth psychology and signifies the deepest elements of your emotional nature. This could be a very fruitful time for you, if you commit to engaging with it constructively.

It's tough to hear that you will be going through challenges for such a long time, which is why I keep it general in order to take some of the brunt off.

Also, throughout this period your 9th house is being stimulated by the barrier dissolving and spiritually minded Neptune. With 4 planets in Sagittarius, it might help you to acquire a philosophical attitude to the difficulties in your life, showing you that amidst the difficulty you still have elements in your life which brings you joy and provides you with the strength to endure and overcome (your family). Looking forward to the "better times" may not be the best way to view your life, since a lot can be gained during the downturns.