My chart is not what I am, what's wrong with me? Help!!!

There’s something I don’t understand about my natal chart. I look at it and I see lots of indication that I would be a super social person who attracts people for both friendship and love. I am not at all like that and I would be better described as a loner. Most of the time I am ok with being lonely, but there are those moments when it hurts.

Another thing is my inability to attract men. I am a reasonably attractive woman, I am fit and practice sports, everyone tells me that I am good looking and elegant and that I have style. Yet it seems no man finds me interesting enough to even flirt with me. It is more common that I attract the attention of lesbian women, although I am not lesbian. I see women out there who are less physically attractive than I am but who have a string of men on their tails, whereas I can go a couple of years without even a fling.

What’s wrong with me? I know that my Saturn in the fifth is a big no-no, but gosh, is this more powerful than a Libra moon in the 7th? With a venus in the 3rd? What in my chart can help me overcome this disconnection that I feel with other people? How can I become more like my Libra moon? I have this deep desire to be a more social person, but it feels like I don't know how to do it. Thankful for any tips on this matter!

Sun square Pluto indicates an intense struggle between being sociable and being a loner. It also isn't a placement known for being too friendly. Your Cancer Sun conjuncts the IC to boost. You would do better with a tight-knitted relationship that is private enough than the type of random socializing at parties.

Aries Asc indicates a person who prefers to be alone in the long run. You don't seem to like to be too intimate because ot will get to whatever you are doing.

With 5H Saturn and Pluto conjunct the Des, I'm guessing that men find you too intimidating? However, with time you will be able to attract a loyal partner. You need to be patient though, Pluto on the Des makes you too obsessed with being in a relationship.

And btw, hello fellow Aries Asc!

Tutu, I sure you have a lot going for you, but I wouldn't describe you as very sociable from your chart.

Your 11th house of friends is ruled by Saturn. The square to Mars may give you a hard edge around other people. They may see you as being critical of them even when you don't mean to give off that vibe.

I agree with GemW about sun square Pluto. People with this aspect often had a tough time growing up. They feel they can't count on the universe to support them, so they often see relationships in the context of a power dynamic with a winner and a loser.

Your 7th house moon is very partner-oriented, but this would be in a one-on-one relationship, not with a circle of friends.

Your Cancer sun is capable of giving and receiving a lot of love, but so close to your IC, you may be more of a home-body who actually isn't crazy about leaving your comfort zone.

With so many quintiles to your ascendant I wonder if you come across as a bit too self-controlled. Would you describe yourself as warm and caring, relaxed, feminine,generous, and loving? These are qualities men would probably find attractive. You might come across as intimidating/unapproachable.

With your lovely moon trine Venus, and exciting sun trine Uranus, I don't see why you couldn't have friends and a fulfilling relationship.

Gemini888 said:

Sun square Pluto indicates an intense struggle between being sociable and being a loner. It also isn't a placement known for being too friendly. Your Cancer Sun conjuncts the IC to boost. You would do better with a tight-knitted relationship that is private enough than the type of random socializing at parties.

Aries Asc indicates a person who prefers to be alone in the long run. You don't seem to like to be too intimate because ot will get to whatever you are doing.

With 5H Saturn and Pluto conjunct the Des, I'm guessing that men find you too intimidating? However, with time you will be able to attract a loyal partner. You need to be patient though, Pluto on the Des makes you too obsessed with being in a relationship.

And btw, hello fellow Aries Asc!

Click to expand...

Hello there, fellow Aries asc! Thanks for your answer.

I feel my Sun Square Pluto whenever I try to be friendly: it seems that I am betraying myself by being friendly, even when I genuinely want to be. It keeps telling me to hide myself. There's always a nagging feeling telling me to keep people at arms length, because they will betray me. Like my father did. Growing up around him was a nightmare and I am much better off today as I went no-contact. But I try to work these issues out in therapy because I live abroad and need to build a network of friends here. I feel very isolated and would like to change that a little. I theoretically have a partner (Sun conjunct Pluto in the 12th, Saturn in the First house, Scorpio Sun/Cancer Moon/Scorpio Asc), but we drifted apart and no longer live together.

The Aries asc: yes, I do a lot of things on my own and most of the time I prefer it because I want to do them my way. I don't enjoy negotiating with others.

I never thought that I would look intimidating to men, but I started observing their reactions. Recently I spoke to a guy who I have a very strong crush on and I noticed he couldn't look me straight in the eye. Before I ever spoke to him he seemed quite cocky and self-assured. With my 11-years relationship crumbling, I am not looking for a long-term relatonship right away, I just wanted to experience some of the fun that everyone has in their lives by having some flirts out there. These things seem too hard to come by.

waybread said:

Tutu, I sure you have a lot going for you, but I wouldn't describe you as very sociable from your chart.

Your 11th house of friends is ruled by Saturn. The square to Mars may give you a hard edge around other people. They may see you as being critical of them even when you don't mean to give off that vibe.

I agree with GemW about sun square Pluto. People with this aspect often had a tough time growing up. They feel they can't count on the universe to support them, so they often see relationships in the context of a power dynamic with a winner and a loser.

Your 7th house moon is very partner-oriented, but this would be in a one-on-one relationship, not with a circle of friends.

Your Cancer sun is capable of giving and receiving a lot of love, but so close to your IC, you may be more of a home-body who actually isn't crazy about leaving your comfort zone.

With so many quintiles to your ascendant I wonder if you come across as a bit too self-controlled. Would you describe yourself as warm and caring, relaxed, feminine,generous, and loving? These are qualities men would probably find attractive. You might come across as intimidating/unapproachable.

With your lovely moon trine Venus, and exciting sun trine Uranus, I don't see why you couldn't have friends and a fulfilling relationship.

Click to expand...

Thank you waybread for your reply, you were spot on.

It is true that I look judgemental, as some people have told me that. I wonder if it is possible to ease that off and how.

It is also true that I have been told that I look very self-controlled. I wish I knew how to warm up to people, but I often feel phony. I can be very warm to pets and give them lots of love, but I just don't seem to be able to do that with my fellow humans. My dilemma is that I have mixed feelings about how to handle people. A big part of me wants desperately to relate to others; whereas the other part tells me it is not worth it as people may always let me down. But as I said, I live abroad and now I see the need to have more friends, to go out and socialize, as my long-term relationship is on the rocks and I spend most of my time on my own.

As I told Gemini, I think I come across as intimidating as first impression, but I want to learn how to manage that.

But thank you for your reply, I will look more into my Sun trine Uranus!