warrior rising
Member
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what does sun in aquarius in 11th house square saturn in taurus in 2nd house (which is also my MC ruler) mean? Idk... seems like this certain aspect is behind my misfortunes. Ik it’s a hard aspect, but what can i do??? I honestly feel like my chart is a breeding ground for mental problems and a traumatic domestic life.
what does sun in aquarius in 11th house square saturn in taurus in 2nd house (which is also my MC ruler) mean? Idk... seems like this certain aspect is behind my misfortunes. Ik it’s a hard aspect, but what can i do??? I honestly feel like my chart is a breeding ground for mental problems and a traumatic domestic life.
"I'm very cautious about my life and like to see through my goals and plans, this time tho, from having OCD to not feeling any kinds of pleasure from things that brought me pleasure before, to reading some scary stories online that some didn't recover from anhedonia, makes me realize how sometimes one can just be a victim of things that he/she has no control of, two years ago my OCD got triggered, 1 year ago my pdoc prescribed these meds like candies after consulting her for the first time (!!! and w no tests yet) and told me they wouldn't affect my cognitive functions/creativity in any way and kept wanting to up my dose even if I felt really numb already."
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Second and third paragraph, now this bit is what concerns me. Pluto scares me out of all the planets. Back this January, I did something that I fear might end me in the future, I said sorry to the person, that person also saw that there was nothing wrong about it and was stricken with guilt for weeks over it, it also triggered too much rumination/intrusive thoughts. When I couldn't take it anymore, I went back to this OCD forum and kind of confessed what I did (every detail of what happened) there and they confirmed that its ocd with real event themes, they told me that I should move on because yes I did a mistake, but I didn't know it at first and when I recognized that it was a mistake, I stepped back, acknowledged it and apologized, contemplated about it and is committed to doing better in the future. Also told my brother and he said it's nothing to worry about. They said I'm punishing myself way too much and they kinda implied that it wasn't that bad, not as bad as the evil people i'm comparing myself to. But now I'm fearing cancel culture! I feel like once I get public recognition for any art that I do, someone will find out and I would be a subject of "intrigue" and that a lot of made up stories would discredit everything about me. Is that it? Pluto is a slow moving planet and I feel like back in January it was already conjuncting my natal MC. How long will solar arc pluto stay in my MC?
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Paragraph 6, I can already feel the effects of this. I'm just so frustrated about my situation. When I said I was recovering a bit, what I mean is I'm starting enjoy really few shows, mostly reality tvs like rupaul's drag race. And sometimes I wanna jump in the bandwagon and cyberbully contestants but so far I'm just internalizing this urges, I can see that I'm being v mean spirited sometimes but I'm trying my best to control it bc I fear that this experience will harden me so much and turn me into someone cruel and selfish. I don't want that kind of villain story happening in my life.
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Last three paragraphs, I wanna be an alternative pop artist and want to make songs that are very ethereal in nature and wanna experiment with synth pads and learn how to edit my own songs (probably the technological part you were saying?). I also used to love writing poetry. I've compared my chart to my idols and most of them have Venus in 10th, Sun in 11th, and jupiter in 1st, the really famous ones have mc rulers in 2nd house (mine is saturn tho) and something about the degrees my personal planets are in (idk if these are true), my chart indicates a lot of fame potential according to my research(and v embarrassing to admit, but I'm thirsty for it). Still I don't wanna depend too much on placements and astrology, I don't wanna be too comfortable with the idea that I might be famous that I actually forget putting in the work. I also can't be too sure since something in my brain isn't connecting and I'm currently being deprived of the feelings that I used to take for granted, no 12th house transcending state . But do you think I will be... received well by the masses in case it happens? I have mars conjunct ascendant btw and you did mention that I have the potential to be disruptive, I guess I have very different beliefs politically (I'm an authoritarian leftist) that I might butt heads with the mainstream. But I'm trying to learn and be mindful of how I address other people, how to calmly and non aggressively bc I've been told I'm very aggressive in my approach (mars conj ascendant, jupiter in aries in 1st heh) without actually meaning to come off that way and it's more divisive rather than unifying. And maybe I have a tendency to be dogmatic about my beliefs that i might actually not listen to other people which is ik a bad thing but working on it. Do you think it'll affect me and my career? even if it does tho, I will still speak up. But idk the pisces in me wanna be liked so much :< so any aspects/placements that might mitigate this mars conj asc? Is it being in the 12th softens the aspect?
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