Can we fix our friendship?

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scahm

Well-known member
Hi everyone,

I'm currently no contact with an old love interest who I was in a friends-with-benefits relationship with, but he ended things when he suspected that I had deeper feelings for him. I think I'm slowly getting over him romantically but really miss talking to him. Will we able to reconcile as friends?

Thank you for your help.
 

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ElenaJ

Well-known member
You should be able to.
Moon in the 11th house of friends approaches a trine to your co.ruler, pluto in the 3rd.
It answers your question to a T!.

Not always do two persons see things the same way in a relationship, and this looks like one case.
The question as represented by moon is in cool virgo (the Virgin), while you are in sexy scorpio and your other co-ruler is in your 8th of sex.
Moon separated from the opposition of 5th ruler of love affairs, Neptune showing the mixed signals you two had between you.
Interesting that you included Ceres, the nurturer, who is in the exact degree of both you as mars, and the moon's nodes.
So the idea of nurturing and unconditional love is your key to success in this relationship.
He apparently needs it right now, he is Venus ,weak by sign and combust and between sun and Chiron! Very challenging situation for him. You can help him by being a friend. Probably the possibility of emotional ties with sex are too much for him right now.
In addition, uranus on his cusp needs space and freedom of movement.
 
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Jupiter Rocks

Well-known member
Coming from a traditional point of view, looking at the receptions, it appears he does have feelings for you as both Venus and the Sun are in Aries whose ruler is Mars which is also the ruler of the Ascendant in Scorpio. With Venus being so close to the Sun he is perhaps feeling more overwhelmed by his own feelings for you rather than yours.

Mars is separating from a square with Mercury, the ruler of the 11th house and Moon has separated from an opposition with the Sun which would give a ‘No’ to your question.

I don’t usually use the outer planets but Uranus is conjunct the 7th house cusp so sticks out showing a separation/divorce.
 
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ElenaJ

Well-known member
"Mars is separating from a square with Mercury, the ruler of the 11th house and Moon has separated from an opposition with the Sun which would give a ‘No’ to your question. "

I think this refers more to the past than to the present or future.
 
S

scahm

Well-known member
Thank you both for taking the time to respond, I really appreciate your insights.

I feel a serious hesitance to approach him in case he misconstrues this to be an attempt to get back together romantically, especially as a previous horary confirmed that he had no feelings for me. I wonder whether my approaching square to Neptune shows my own confusion about this.

Does the chart show what is causing his suffering? Sun exalted in Aries, rules his third house of thoughts, sitting in his 11th - I'm unsure what this might suggest.
 
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ElenaJ

Well-known member
You will trine Jupiter, ruler of both your 2nd of self esteem and your 5th.
So you will be able to come to grips with the situation change, realise it isn't due to some shortcoming on your part, and find the spiritual strength and generosity to help him with love, in the universal sense.
Remember you are strong with the NN conjunction.
He is learning life lessons at the moment, with the Chiron conjunction.
Learning to listen to his inner self, but uncomfortable with it, as Venus in Aries is ego-minded but she prefers to be other-minded. Venus is conjunct sun, in the natural house of sun and it's sign of exaltation. Sun is ego and the individual, our core, another indication that this is where his energy is focusing, and causing growth pain for him.
 
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scahm

Well-known member
ElenaJ said:
You will trine Jupiter, ruler of both your 2nd of self esteem and your 5th.
So you will be able to come to grips with the situation change, realise it isn't due to some shortcoming on your part, and find the spiritual strength and generosity to help him with love, in the universal sense.
Remember you are strong with the NN conjunction.
He is learning life lessons at the moment, with the Chiron conjunction.
Learning to listen to his inner self, but uncomfortable with it, as Venus in Aries is ego-minded but she prefers to be other-minded. Venus is conjunct sun, in the natural house of sun and it's sign of exaltation. Sun is ego and the individual, our core, another indication that this is where his energy is focusing, and causing growth pain for him.
Click to expand...

Thank you so much Elena, I'm always so grateful for the details you provide - so interesting you mention my self esteem, I've only very recently had the realisation that the relationship not working out had nothing to do with me. I will keep you posted on how this plays out.
 
tikana

tikana

Well-known member
ElenaJ said:
You should be able to.
Moon in the 11th house of friends approaches a trine to your co.ruler, pluto in the 3rd.
It answers your question to a T!.

Not always do two persons see things the same way in a relationship, and this looks like one case.
The question as represented by moon is in cool virgo (the Virgin), while you are in sexy scorpio and your other co-ruler is in your 8th of sex.
Moon separated from the opposition of 5th ruler of love affairs, Neptune showing the mixed signals you two had between you.
Interesting that you included Ceres, the nurturer, who is in the exact degree of both you as mars, and the moon's nodes.
So the idea of nurturing and unconditional love is your key to success in this relationship.
He apparently needs it right now, he is Venus ,weak by sign and combust and between sun and Chiron! Very challenging situation for him. You can help him by being a friend. Probably the possibility of emotional ties with sex are too much for him right now.
In addition, uranus on his cusp needs space and freedom of movement.
Click to expand...

id take 7th house bc it is still relationship issue
 
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ElenaJ

Well-known member
tikana said:
id take 7th house bc it is still relationship issue
Click to expand...

Yes, I agree.
I used moon as resolution of the question, not as 7th significator.
Moon on 11th cusp asks about a friendship-type future of the relationship.
In the further analysis, I refer to Venus as his significator.
 
J

Jupiter Rocks

Well-known member
ElenaJ said:
"Mars is separating from a square with Mercury, the ruler of the 11th house and Moon has separated from an opposition with the Sun which would give a ‘No’ to your question. "

I think this refers more to the past than to the present or future.
Click to expand...


They are separating aspects so in the past - not going to happen now.



I have run the chart in my software and there is contact with an upcoming sextile with Venus and Mars which is frustrated by the Moon opposing Venus, it might be best to leave him alone for the time being. It looks like your feelings for him are going to resurface as Moon changes signs and enters Libra. Both Sun and Venus are conjunct the Moon by antiscia – which implies something secret/hidden. Venus is combust so he’s not going to see sense right now and won’t listen to anything in this condition but he is moving away from this and it won’t last forever. Sun rules the turned fourth house, he may have issues to deal with at home. With Venus being in his own detriment, he is feeling quite vulnerable.



It’s been a while since I delineated a chart so take this with a pinch of salt! :biggrin:
 
S

scahm

Well-known member
Jupiter Rocks said:
They are separating aspects so in the past - not going to happen now.



I have run the chart in my software and there is contact with an upcoming sextile with Venus and Mars which is frustrated by the Moon opposing Venus, it might be best to leave him alone for the time being. It looks like your feelings for him are going to resurface as Moon changes signs and enters Libra. Both Sun and Venus are conjunct the Moon by antiscia – which implies something secret/hidden. Venus is combust so he’s not going to see sense right now and won’t listen to anything in this condition but he is moving away from this and it won’t last forever. Sun rules the turned fourth house, he may have issues to deal with at home. With Venus being in his own detriment, he is feeling quite vulnerable.



It’s been a while since I delineated a chart so take this with a pinch of salt! :biggrin:
Click to expand...

Thank you so much, that makes a lot of sense - he had to move back in with his parents due to the pandemic and I did wonder whether this is causing issues/he's struggling to find somewhere else to live.

I think it feels safer to leave him alone for now too, but you mention the upcoming Venus/Mars sextile - does this mean that any contact between us will therefore come from him as the faster moving planet? Maybe the Venus/Saturn sextile confirms this, with Saturn ruling my third?
 
J

Jupiter Rocks

Well-known member
scahm said:
I think it feels safer to leave him alone for now too, but you mention the upcoming Venus/Mars sextile - does this mean that any contact between us will therefore come from him as the faster moving planet? Maybe the Venus/Saturn sextile confirms this, with Saturn ruling my third?
Click to expand...


Yes, the faster planet is the one to make the move.
 
IleneK

IleneK

Premium Member
He/Ven meets Sat in your 3rd house of communication before Ven and Mars sextile. Sat receives him/Venus in Aries very poorly by reception. I am not seeing an entry for communication between you: Saturn in the 3rd gets in the way.
 
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ElenaJ

Well-known member
IleneK said:
He/Jup meets Sat in your 3rd house of communication before Ven and Mars sextile. Sat receives him/Venus in Aries very poorly by reception. I am not seeing an entry for communication between you: Saturn in the 3rd gets in the way.
Click to expand...

Sorry I'm not following. Why Jupiter?
 
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scahm

Well-known member
IleneK said:
He/Ven meets Sat in your 3rd house of communication before Ven and Mars sextile. Sat receives him/Venus in Aries very poorly by reception. I am not seeing an entry for communication between you: Saturn in the 3rd gets in the way.
Click to expand...

Thanks, Ilene. I'll keep this thread updated, though I assume if anything were to happen, it wouldn't be for a while.
 
S

scahm

Well-known member
I wanted to provide an update to this thread - we did in fact manage to fix our friendship! He had been going through a tough time, completing his studies whilst trying to navigate a new living situation, which may explain why he was Venus in Aries.

I was the one who approached him from a place of friendship, and we are now in a much better place.
 
IleneK

IleneK

Premium Member
Thank you for updating and sharing with us the obstacles that got in the way. I am very glad you found a path to communicate with him and mend the friendship.
 
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