Why did this friend turn on me?

A

AbbyG

Member
So I've been best friends with this girl for 6 years. Throughout it we never really got along and it felt really strange and stilted from the beginning. I was in a very abusive relationship and she would never see it that way, always blaming me for what happened. She only talked about herself and anything about me was a waste of time to her. At least this is how I perceived it. I tried very hard to see it a different way because I know I can be pretty self-victimising (Pisces Rising) and wanted to know I wasn't making snap judgements, hence we stayed friends for that long.
I really want to know what placement makes me dislike her so much, because usually I can forgive or at least forget just about anything anyone does. I've attached our individual charts and our synastry chart. Would appreciate any insight, thanks :D
 

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H

Hkk

Account Closed
She’s a two faced ***** with her fickle emotions : Gemini moon, up her own **** undeveloped Leo and her Nn in libra she’s nowhere near getting to and showing the dark side of her south node. I haven’t bothered looking at the synastry as I wouldn’t blame yourself in any shape or form some ppl are just plain c&£62 🤷🏻*♀️
 
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A

AbbyG

Member
Thanks for the reading HKK. Just a general question, how do you know she's nowhere near getting to the libra NN?

Thanks again!
 
H

Hkk

Account Closed
AbbyG said:
Thanks for the reading HKK. Just a general question, how do you know she's nowhere near getting to the libra NN?

Thanks again!
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Because she is busy in her dark side of Aries. She’s so bitchy and jealous that’s it’s clear she is stuck in her SN how well she ever be fair and kind (evolved libra) she’s a knob! Move on
 
H

Hkk

Account Closed
Also like to add that’s where her pain is Chiron in libra in the first. She’s got issues with herself 1st house issues that’s why she’s so quick to put u down. I know someone who has the opposite libra sn however she has issues with herself and her looks. Her problems no one else’s and she compensates by acting like she’s living herself and not dealing with the issues. I’m all for fake it till you make it however not at the expense of ignoring real issues. And by pretending she lives herself she loves to gossip, put ppl down and laugh at their faces. The thing with her is, which is the saddest part, she is so good at being the ***** and laughing at ppl as if there is really something wrong when clearly there isn’t but this is the issue with these types of ppl they will never evolve even if something hits them in the face. It can be a lot to do with the chart as well as upbringing and the environment. Some people need to feel superior due to being inferior. Just the other day on here someone decided to be rude to my comments and so decided to comment back and what did I do? I got to the inferior so the superior needed to come out to play. Don’t get involved
 
Gemini888

Gemini888

Well-known member
One thing that particularly caught my interest is the conjunction between your Merc and her Chiron. I sense that there is an unconscious conflict in communication here. Like it or not, you tend to say things that unintentionally touches her "hurt" spot, hence the conflict that you can't put your finger on. Her Chiron is also in 12H, meaning that she wouldn't like that pain to be pushed out into the light, but since her Chiron is in your 7H it has to come out anyway through your relationship.


Also her NN conj her Chiron. She has to accept her pain in order to grow, and you seem to play a part in this healing process through communication. But then stubborn Saturn is pulling her back. Saturn is also downplaying your communicative ability. So if what you said is true, then she is too stuck up in her SN and Saturn. Can't really blame her though, Saturn only wants to change when it's certain the change is worth the pain. Your Merc isn't doing well in her chart anyway. Do you find it hard to talk to her?



Also your 8H Mars is in her 1H. Your frustration is directed to her too. With her 6H Virgo maybe you need to be a bit less harsh in the way you deliver your criticism. She can be her worst critic and she doesn't need more negativity.
 
A

AbbyG

Member
I agree with you. It's not hard to figure out how insecure she is which is why I let things slide for a long time. But she never seems to get better or feel happy for someone else, even people she loves. She hurts people around her a lot and even when it hits her in the face she doesn't change. Most narcissists have these wounds of self image which is why I've forgiven them but eventually if you don't genuinely care about other people's feelings and never admit to the manipulation even when things get really really bad it shouldn't really matter if her chart is difficult. After that abusive relationship I was in and the bad childhood I've had, I almost killed myself sometime ago because it didn't seem like I could ever do anything right in anyone's eyes and all she could do then was put me down and tell me how manipulative and selfish I was and then proceed to tell everyone what had happened. I don't know if life has ever been that bad for her but that shouldn't matter, should it? Because I never even got an apology, I was just told that she was really kind and I was oh so ungrateful if I ever brought up what she did.
Yes I find it hard to communicate with her but that's also because we have very few things in common. I have a sun and venus in virgo and I react the same way to criticism so I have tried to dial down the criticism as I can be quite harsh. And it took me a long time to accept the pain of not being good too and I know the same is true for most people. But maybe she's better now and I'm not accepting that either. Interestingly I have mercury conjunct chiron with my abusive ex as well and knowing that is what kept me in the loop for so long because I thought it was my fault for hurting his wounds but when you stop pointing out how badly they treat people you become the doormat they walk all over. So I don't think it's my fault in any way here. There just isn't a way to get along with them after you see the flakiness, selfishness and covert narcissism.
But I agree HKK we wouldn't get along even in the best of circumstances. Thanks for your reply!
 
A

AbbyG

Member
Gemini888 said:
One thing that particularly caught my interest is the conjunction between your Merc and her Chiron. I sense that there is an unconscious conflict in communication here. Like it or not, you tend to say things that unintentionally touches her "hurt" spot, hence the conflict that you can't put your finger on. Her Chiron is also in 12H, meaning that she wouldn't like that pain to be pushed out into the light, but since her Chiron is in your 7H it has to come out anyway through your relationship.


Also her NN conj her Chiron. She has to accept her pain in order to grow, and you seem to play a part in this healing process through communication. But then stubborn Saturn is pulling her back. Saturn is also downplaying your communicative ability. So if what you said is true, then she is too stuck up in her SN and Saturn. Can't really blame her though, Saturn only wants to change when it's certain the change is worth the pain. Your Merc isn't doing well in her chart anyway. Do you find it hard to talk to her?



Also your 8H Mars is in her 1H. Your frustration is directed to her too. With her 6H Virgo maybe you need to be a bit less harsh in the way you deliver your criticism. She can be her worst critic and she doesn't need more negativity.
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I don't know if you're looking at this chart I posted or a vedic one etc.. But she doesn't have a 6H Virgo, it's a 6H pisces.
And when you say my frustration is directed towards her too do you mean I'm projecting my issues on to her?
 
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H

Hkk

Account Closed
AbbyG said:
I agree with you. It's not hard to figure out how insecure she is which is why I let things slide for a long time. But she never seems to get better or feel happy for someone else, even people she loves. She hurts people around her a lot and even when it hits her in the face she doesn't change. Most narcissists have these wounds of self image which is why I've forgiven them but eventually if you don't genuinely care about other people's feelings and never admit to the manipulation even when things get really really bad it shouldn't really matter if her chart is difficult. After that abusive relationship I was in and the bad childhood I've had, I almost killed myself sometime ago because it didn't seem like I could ever do anything right in anyone's eyes and all she could do then was put me down and tell me how manipulative and selfish I was and then proceed to tell everyone what had happened. I don't know if life has ever been that bad for her but that shouldn't matter, should it? Because I never even got an apology, I was just told that she was really kind and I was oh so ungrateful if I ever brought up what she did.
Yes I find it hard to communicate with her but that's also because we have very few things in common. I have a sun and venus in virgo and I react the same way to criticism so I have tried to dial down the criticism as I can be quite harsh. And it took me a long time to accept the pain of not being good too and I know the same is true for most people. But maybe she's better now and I'm not accepting that either. Interestingly I have mercury conjunct chiron with my abusive ex as well and knowing that is what kept me in the loop for so long because I thought it was my fault for hurting his wounds but when you stop pointing out how badly they treat people you become the doormat they walk all over. So I don't think it's my fault in any way here. There just isn't a way to get along with them after you see the flakiness, selfishness and covert narcissism.
But I agree HKK we wouldn't get along even in the best of circumstances. Thanks for your reply!
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No probs xx
 
H

Hkk

Account Closed
AbbyG said:
So I've been best friends with this girl for 6 years. Throughout it we never really got along and it felt really strange and stilted from the beginning. I was in a very abusive relationship and she would never see it that way, always blaming me for what happened. She only talked about herself and anything about me was a waste of time to her. At least this is how I perceived it. I tried very hard to see it a different way because I know I can be pretty self-victimising (Pisces Rising) and wanted to know I wasn't making snap judgements, hence we stayed friends for that long.
I really want to know what placement makes me dislike her so much, because usually I can forgive or at least forget just about anything anyone does. I've attached our individual charts and our synastry chart. Would appreciate any insight, thanks :D
Click to expand...

Don’t worry Abbyg you don’t come across that way. Some ppl like I said before have issues of their own and want to project it on to others. Chill it’s all good. Issues are usually not enough sex 🤷🏻*♀️Or no attention. What so ever lol
 
A

AbbyG

Member
Samantha Bean said:
You accept no responsibly for the deterioration of the friendship between you both? its seems as if you are looking for astrology to justify your actions, rather than synastry to determine how best to proceed in the most positive way.
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No it isn't like that. At least not completely. I've always thought it was my fault but when someone is racist all the time and gets mad when you make new friends and tell them someone else is pretty. Or when you get sexually abused tells you it was all your fault.. I get that she's insecure or has her own wounds. But a part of me isn't able to be all nice about it, and so you're right in part. But I've done my soul searching and I've even said before on this post.. The reason for my question in the first place was because I'm not able to completely forget no matter how much I want to understand or forgive, but that's also because she never apologised. And my question was because even if I think I'm better off without people that didn't understand or who I don't see eye to eye with, I'm the one that has ended up alone so maybe I'm wrong. And I haven't taken any 'action' here to need validation for. But anyhow I mean it doesn't matter if I defend myself on the Internet I guess to either one of us and I can't please everyone
 
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A

AbbyG

Member
Samantha Bean said:
OK... then your friend is really not a friend. We run across people like that in life now and then. We have to realize that they have issues.

But in the end, there is only one person that you have control of changing. People with some kind of personality disorder are not going to apologize for their behavior---no matter what.

You will need to live and let live and just move on knowing what they've missed out on by not having you for a real friend.

I really don't think you need astrology for this. My opinion, of course.
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I agree, probably don't need astrology but I guess when you know you can be terrible and do horrible things too you tend to think you just need to give people another chance. Plus they make you feel all guilty and then you get kind of confused because not everyone can be terrible and it has to have been your fault somewhere. Or maybe blaming yourself is a way to retain control, so I thought of looking at astrology in case I was wrong in my own perception.. But thank you and sorry about rambling on here haha xx
 
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