Astrologers' Community  

Go Back   Astrologers' Community > General Astrology > Horary Astrology > Horary Questions on Relational Issues

Horary Questions on Relational Issues For horary questions about relationships.


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Unread 04-17-2020, 09:36 PM
kai kai is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 654
What is my mom's problem with me?

This isn't a new situation...been like this all my life almost and I feel like my mom is a toxic person towards me but everyone seems to love her and if I honestly tell them she's toxic, I know for a fact that I will be called toxic for saying that as that will shock people who just adore her. My mom's critical of me about almost everything, she provokes me, if there's an issue on her side of the family (relatives of hers), no matter how wrong they would be towards me, she will take their side without a question and will not even attempt to scold them for the issues...her side of family disrespects me, I'm at fault somehow. This happened once 10 years ago and I can't seem to get over it by not forgetting. All her friend's daughters are amazing yet I don't know specifically how...one is ugly as donkey's a$$, the other is a compulsive liar but makes a lot of money and is married to a guy who looks like Quasimodo, the other one has it all but yet if she seems something nice on someone else...you feel the negative energy like jealousy from her although she's nice...if not jealousy but more like negativity for the fact that someone else also has nice things. It's as if there's nothing nice that my mom can tell me, and even if I do something good, she will find something negative in it to shut the feeling down as if I'm unworthy. she brings me down and although it's not a constant things, but it does happen and especially the last few days it's like every day. I never asked a horary question about my mom or this situation but I had to as I want to know why is she bringing me down, why do I feel this heavy negativity from her, why is she so toxic toward me...mind you that my dad is much much better and I don't really have much issue with him only time is if my mom is involved is when I will bump heads with my dad...because of her. Im not sure how to read a chart asking about mom..is she the 4th house or 10th? I am learning to put up barriers now and not let her push me around..i don't let her but perhaps once in a while I might not say anything to not further stir things up. Honestly, I'm so tired of her by now. Also, at times she can be oh so sweet lol it's like wow! She seems very manipulative.

Reply With Quote
  #2  
Unread 04-17-2020, 11:00 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,495
Re: What is my mom's problem with me?

Sorry you are experiencing such a negative situation.
You don't mention if you are living in your parent's home or not, and you also don't mention if you are an only child.
The parents are represented in a chart by the 4th/10th axis, and there is some discussion about which pole represents the mother and which the father. I tend to agree with the idea that the dominant parent is the 4th cusp, so this would represent your mother.
In this chart it would make sense, since she would be strong stinging scorpio, ruled by argumentative mars.
Your father, who seems to be a more mellow personality would then be friendly Venus, in intellectual gemini, in a dual sign that gets along with both of you.
The moon shows what is on your mind, and it is in the 7th, house of open enemies. And in fact, your mother's antagonism towards you is out in the open.
The 7th is ruled by Saturn, and 4th ruler mars is ruled by Saturn.
Note that Saturn and moon are both in the exact degree of the nodes, which would indicate that this is a karmic situation, you are in some way paying a debt from the past, and there is little you can do about this, you will have no control over the situation.
Moon rules the 12 house of the subconscious, of things that are hidden from sight, of restrictions and confinement.
You as ascendent are ruled by sun in the 9th of intellect, of your way of thinking. Both ascendent and sun are in strong fire signs, specifically Leo and Aries which are the two signs of the ego. Sun trines ascendent, so you have a strong personality and can hold your own in this situation.
You are also in your mother's 6th house, of servitude and health/illness.
Sun squares the 12th cusp, so the subconscious situation that is going on under the surface is a challenge to you, and to your way of thinking.
With your mother as the 4th house, her sense of self esteem and value is her 2nd, or the radical 5th, ruled by Jupiter. You, sun, square Jupiter on the cusp of the 6th, which is her 3rd. You challenge her way of thinking, and her self esteem. And you coming from her 6th house, you effect her health.
Jupiter, like mars, is ruled by Saturn, who is a stern teacher, critical, oppressive.
This is her defence. She criticises you.
Note also that your ruler sun in Aries is ruled by mars, who is your mother's ruler. So there is a mirror image situation going on between you as well, part of her is in you, and she sees in you a reflection of herself.
Note also that your mother's family is her 4th, which would be the radical 7th, so we return to the idea of open enemies with her family towards you.
Her friends would be her 11th, or the radical 2nd, and their daughters would be 5th from the 2nd, or the radical 6th. And we return to mars and Saturn, as her friends' daughters, and Jupiter on the cusp squaring you as sun.
To get to the root of this situation, you will have to dig into the area that is critical to you, which is the 12th house, with all its past shadows and demons, which is not an easy job.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to ElenaJ For This Useful Post:
kai (04-18-2020), kalinka (04-17-2020), waybread (04-18-2020), WisdomJoy (04-17-2020)
  #3  
Unread 04-18-2020, 03:28 AM
waybread's Avatar
waybread waybread is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A class M planet near you
Posts: 14,910
Re: What is my mom's problem with me?

Kai, you are represented by the first house, ruled by the sun. Traditionally one's mother is the 10th and one's father is the 4th house but the 4th stands for one's parents and childhood home more generally. Normally I would use one of those for Mom. But what strikes me about this chart is that the moon indicates both your emotional stake in the matter and one's mother. It is in the 7th house of open enemies.

There just doesn't seem to be much symapthy or connection between the various significators. Venus is in detriment in the sun's sign of Aries, and the sun is in detriment in the moon's sign of Aquarius)

If we turn the chart, the sun is in Mom's 12th house. To say she doesn't understand you would be putting in mildly, because to her, she probably feels like you're acting out (sun in independent Aries, near Uranus; and act like her "secret enemy."

To me the situation cries out for two things. One is to do your synastry and a composite chart. (I do midpoint composites.)

The other is to ask to get into family counseling with her. In these days of COVID-19, I think most counseling sessions are being conducted by skype, zoom, or telephone, but it would be a place to get started.
__________________
My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to waybread For This Useful Post:
ElenaJ (04-18-2020), kai (04-26-2020), WisdomJoy (04-18-2020)
  #4  
Unread 04-26-2020, 07:05 AM
besitos besitos is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 570
Re: What is my mom's problem with me?

i have more often read that 4th house is mother.

Sun and Mars are square (difficulty in relating, but im not sure if it's considered better than having no aspect at all), sun is in detriment in aquarius where mars is. i would read that reception as mother does not receive the sun well. but as we know, reception has also been read the opposite way, sun does not like mars' home.

reading what exactly the "toxic" behavior is, is in criticizing and not praising when you do do something well (sounds like if she just didn't say anything, that would also be seen as a negative behavior from you?) but to me, sounds like the mom might be in a tradition or style to help or love children by strengthening them to do well in the world (praising her friend's children who do well as in making a living). This style often includes stopping the child from puffing ones chest or enjoying one's successes too much, because it might be taken away. some also don't like seeing emotional displays or getting "lost" in one's emotions. my sister always shits on my parade when i show excitement. it makes her uncomfortable to see someone getting what she would see as getting caught up in something (i dont see it that way, of course). i feel the same way when she seems to get over excited about something i see as factually false, so i try to "correct" that by telling her the fact.

sun in aries can be braggadocious. mars in aquarius - too detached in criticizing in an aggressive way?

also seeing you in each others' 6th house - maybe you cause each other to focus on the details instead of bigger picture, in day to day life.

if you guys are in the same house because of the pandemic, it could be you're seeing more of this behavior (every day) because being shut in tends to amp what was already there up. divorce rate going up and all...

stay safe and as always, dont jump to conclusions about what others are thinking and feeling is in a negative way. but, things that are not negatively meant could still not be good for you. hope you work it out.

oh, also - i agree its more of a synastry question - i don't think i see any sudden events to either of you right away to talk about, right now.

Last edited by besitos; 04-26-2020 at 07:42 AM.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to besitos For This Useful Post:
kai (04-26-2020)
  #5  
Unread 04-26-2020, 04:04 PM
kai kai is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 654
Re: What is my mom's problem with me?

Thank you for all your replies and I apologize for the late reply as I was caught up in the middle of my midterms and although i read your replies, I decided to get back to the thread after the midterms. To answer the question about my living condition, yes I do currently live with both parents. Im currently going to school and working from home but it isn't the amount that will allow me to move out taking into account the crazy inflated Los Angeles rental/housing costs. I suppose it's an issue of control from her while I am also strong-willed and do not like it when someone dictates me how things should be done. We are not talking to each other at this moment and oh do I feel some peace at last lol although I'm in good relation with my dad. What she does and this has been going on ever since I was a child (and yes I'm the only child as that was another question posted above) is if I ***** up or I do something that she considered 'bad' or bad mouth her, she would tell on me to my dad as a way to pit him against me. She's extremely manipulative and quite honestly I've had enough so I am enjoying the peace as she's mad and decided not to talk to me. She also doesn't talk to my dad much either as she feels like my dad took my side...things are peaceful now )) Thanks for the detailed analysis by all as I found it very interesting to read and everything made sense of course. I was extremely upset and low in energy the day I posted the chart.

I am a Taurus asc and she is sun in taurus with my dad. I think my moon in 4th house square 6th house Saturn in a tight square indicates a discord with mother? I feel that this is the problem of my relationship with her. I know that Moon represents the mother figure and saturn is bad so it describes my situation for sure in my natal chart.

Last edited by kai; 04-26-2020 at 04:07 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Unread 04-26-2020, 07:07 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,495
Re: What is my mom's problem with me?

" my moon in 4th house square 6th house Saturn in a tight square indicates a discord with mother?"

Yes, moon represents the mother. As also the 4th house.
The 6th would be her 3rd of communications.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ElenaJ For This Useful Post:
katydid (04-27-2020)
  #7  
Unread 04-26-2020, 07:30 PM
aquarius7000's Avatar
aquarius7000 aquarius7000 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,153
Re: What is my mom's problem with me?

Hi,

Per that attached chart, there could be another disagreement in 10 days, weeks from when you posted the chart, since Moon (your co-sig) squares Venus (your mum). Interestingly enough the Moon has just entered the sign of Venus' exaltation, so could be that you get the feeling things will or are getting more calm between you both... and then something happens again.

Could I ask if there was a change of situation, circumstance in the recent past, like perhaps you moved to someplace else, or towards another person or or involved someone in this matter?
__________________
Yoga essentially means progressing from being just a piece of creation to becoming the creator yourself. It is very unwise to think of Yoga as a set of mere contortions of the human body. Sadhguru
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to aquarius7000 For This Useful Post:
kai (04-26-2020)
  #8  
Unread 04-26-2020, 10:14 PM
kai kai is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 654
Re: What is my mom's problem with me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by aquarius7000 View Post
Hi,

Per that attached chart, there could be another disagreement in 10 days, weeks from when you posted the chart, since Moon (your co-sig) squares Venus (your mum). Interestingly enough the Moon has just entered the sign of Venus' exaltation, so could be that you get the feeling things will or are getting more calm between you both... and then something happens again.

Could I ask if there was a change of situation, circumstance in the recent past, like perhaps you moved to someplace else, or towards another person or or involved someone in this matter?
The arguments are on and off. What annoys me is that she could be very and by very I mean extremely over protective as if I feel suffocated. We have a Middle Eastern (sort of) background and parents stay the typical parents for the rest of your life and they give you no space. For example, if I open my mouth about something both parents would reply to me in a 'advice giving tone' although no advice or opinion was asked from them at all and I was just making a statement but they always have to reply with an advice and the advice are so irrelevant and wrong that it bothers me that i get nagged about stupid things so often. Also, my mom is annoying in a way that she would make a fresh squeezed juice and would bring it up to me without actually asking first whether I even want a juice...she does this constantly with food....often her actions feel overwhelming and I just want her to back the hell away. This and her manipulative ways. I'm not even surprised about another argument but Im keeping my distance. As always, I have a much much healthier and better relationship with my dad.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Unread 04-27-2020, 06:07 AM
katydid katydid is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 6,033
Re: What is my mom's problem with me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElenaJ View Post
" my moon in 4th house square 6th house Saturn in a tight square indicates a discord with mother?"

Yes, moon represents the mother. As also the 4th house.
The 6th would be her 3rd of communications.
Also, the natal Moon in the 4th feels a need for a supportive, nurturing Mother, someone to rely upon. The 4th house needs stability and a strong emotional foundation.

The square from the 6th house Saturn threatens that feeling of emotional stability and limits that emotional flow from the 4th/mother figure.

Natal Moon in the 4th being squared by Saturn in 6th of daily routines= One's mother may criticise one's daily routine habits and the way one does even the simplest tasks, like hygiene, cleaning house, daily chores, work habits, etc.

It may feel very petty when Saturn in 6th squares the Moon.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to katydid For This Useful Post:
ElenaJ (04-27-2020)
  #10  
Unread 04-27-2020, 01:10 PM
kai kai is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 654
Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid View Post
Also, the natal Moon in the 4th feels a need for a supportive, nurturing Mother, someone to rely upon. The 4th house needs stability and a strong emotional foundation.

The square from the 6th house Saturn threatens that feeling of emotional stability and limits that emotional flow from the 4th/mother figure.

Natal Moon in the 4th being squared by Saturn in 6th of daily routines= One's mother may criticise one's daily routine habits and the way one does even the simplest tasks, like hygiene, cleaning house, daily chores, work habits, etc.

It may feel very petty when Saturn in 6th squares the Moon.
That’s absolutely how it is constantly. Thanks.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to kai For This Useful Post:
ElenaJ (04-27-2020), katydid (04-28-2020)
Reply

Tags
problem

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT. The time now is 06:53 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2005-2018, AstrologyWeekly.com. Boards' structure and all posts are property of AstrologyWeekly.com and their respective creators. No part of the messages sent on these boards may be copied without their owners' explicit consent.