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  #1  
Unread 05-23-2020, 03:58 AM
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sashafasha44 sashafasha44 is offline
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Why do I always attract men with secret girlfriends?

Weather it be online or in person it always turns out the truth comes to the light sooner then later and there is always some secret gf or wife I find out about. I mean I can be very nice and friendly and I do like to talk but I can also be pretty mean when I feel disrespected probably because of the Capricorn in my third house and my first house Stellium Scorpio makes me pretty aggressive but I am a Libra rising and Aquarius sun.
but most the people that I talk to don’t know anything about this stuff so is it something that I am doing or is it something in the stars obviously once I find out I’m a palled but for instance just Saturday the neighbor across the way want to come over to my house and visit. I told him no of course but then asked if he had children and he said yes and then I asked if he had a wife and he said yes and I just don’t understand why some people get the audacity to behave like this but it just happens all too often with me like I’m always the fun girl or idk. Any tips? Also my chiron in Taurus 8th I think also contributes to my self esteem issues however I mask that pretty well with my defensiveness thanks to my Scorpion and Capricorn side so not sure what is it. Here's my chart. https://imgur.com/a/7JHgD4P


Last edited by wilsontc; 05-23-2020 at 12:20 PM.
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  #2  
Unread 05-23-2020, 03:22 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is online now
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Re: Why do I always attract men with secret girlfriends?

Venus squares your ascendent so you are probably an attractive woman, and libra is always very gracious and sociable.
Scorpio of course screams sex.
But I suspect it is 5th house ruler Uranus on south node.
Attracting unusual, non-traditional partners or relationships.
Men might see the possibility for what would be, for them, an exciting rapport.
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  #3  
Unread 05-23-2020, 03:35 PM
Hkk Hkk is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarahfasha View Post
Weather it be online or in person it always turns out the truth comes to the light sooner then later and there is always some secret gf or wife I find out about. I mean I can be very nice and friendly and I do like to talk but I can also be pretty mean when I feel disrespected probably because of the Capricorn in my third house and my first house Stellium Scorpio makes me pretty aggressive but I am a Libra rising and Aquarius sun.
but most the people that I talk to donít know anything about this stuff so is it something that I am doing or is it something in the stars obviously once I find out Iím a palled but for instance just Saturday the neighbor across the way want to come over to my house and visit. I told him no of course but then asked if he had children and he said yes and then I asked if he had a wife and he said yes and I just donít understand why some people get the audacity to behave like this but it just happens all too often with me like Iím always the fun girl or idk. Any tips? Also my chiron in Taurus 8th I think also contributes to my self esteem issues however I mask that pretty well with my defensiveness thanks to my Scorpion and Capricorn side so not sure what is it. Here's my chart. https://imgur.com/a/7JHgD4P
Mars ruler of your dc opposes the moon in 7th. Libra rising: we have issues in the love life. Iím libra rising my mars ruler of my 7th squares Pluto. We just have to be careful who we chose and listen to our intuition
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Unread 05-23-2020, 11:37 PM
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Re: Why do I always attract men with secret girlfriends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElenaJ View Post
Venus squares your ascendent so you are probably an attractive woman, and libra is always very gracious and sociable.
Scorpio of course screams sex.
But I suspect it is 5th house ruler Uranus on south node.
Attracting unusual, non-traditional partners or relationships.
Men might see the possibility for what would be, for them, an exciting rapport.
Yes I can come off as very nice but as I may have mentioned I can also be mean so I think many see me as a good time and easy-going but itís almost like I have a completely different side as well because I can be admittedly petty. I also do comedy so I have no shame, sometimes to be honest I will air somebody out If they cross me, also I will definitely tell the wife! but I had a feeling it has to do with people thinking Iím nice and they can get over on me.
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  #5  
Unread 05-24-2020, 09:21 AM
curiousabout77 curiousabout77 is offline
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Re: Why do I always attract men with secret girlfriends?

Do you feel as though you are a very independent person? Maybe people think that your independence may mean your OK with affairs which is judging a book by its cover which is wrong, are you being misjudged based on stereotypes? Just thinking out loud.
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Unread 05-27-2020, 10:08 AM
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Re: Why do I always attract men with secret girlfriends?

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Originally Posted by Sarahfasha View Post
Why do I always attract men with secret girlfriends?

Weather it be online or in person it always turns out the truth comes to the light sooner then later and there is always some secret gf or wife I find out about.

I mean I can be very nice and friendly and I do like to talk but I can also be pretty mean
Hello Sarah,

yes - what you experienced - is visible in your chart as a subconsious pattern of attraction and is some more complex.

Probably the best to start with to make it more clear - you are the secretive girlfriend and the second girlfriend or affair girl these men are looking for. Number one are their wifes or girlfriend they are already in relationship with.

You repeatedly insisted on being also mean. This is what some men attract most - looking for a sexual passionate love affair - but preferring for their official public life a well reputated woman - and for passionate sexual affairs a second one - they would not like to present themselves with to the public and like to keep secretive.
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Unread 05-28-2020, 08:00 AM
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sashafasha44 sashafasha44 is offline
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Re: Why do I always attract men with secret girlfriends?

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Originally Posted by curiousabout77 View Post
Do you feel as though you are a very independent person? Maybe people think that your independence may mean your OK with affairs which is judging a book by its cover which is wrong, are you being misjudged based on stereotypes? Just thinking out loud.
Yessss, extremely independent. & the few relationships I have had, I'll be honest, I lost myself in them & became codependent in trying to make them work, bc I can be a bit of a people pleaser, I think this aspect in thanks to my Libra rising however, but I am no starting to identify this issue & pattern. Also, all the men I've ever dated have been jealous of me, & attempted to bring me down, (I think) this is due to my Black Moon Lilith in Pisces. But I have actually thought about this before, I don't have "baggage" in the "usual" sense in that I am financially independent, educated, no kids, etc. So yes, I can see it being a gold mine for some men wanting to leech off of me. Usually people do not see my "meaner" side until I feel like I'm crossed, so I can be very nice (Libra Rising) until I am crossed, Capricorn/Scorpion. What do you think?
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Unread 05-28-2020, 08:05 AM
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Re: Why do I always attract men with secret girlfriends?

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Originally Posted by Zora View Post
Hello Sarah,

yes - what you experienced - is visible in your chart as a subconsious pattern of attraction and is some more complex.

Probably the best to start with to make it more clear - you are the secretive girlfriend and the second girlfriend or affair girl these men are looking for. Number one are their wifes or girlfriend they are already in relationship with.

You repeatedly insisted on being also mean. This is what some men attract most - looking for a sexual passionate love affair - but preferring for their official public life a well reputated woman - and for passionate sexual affairs a second one - they would not like to present themselves with to the public and like to keep secretive.
Yes, it may very well be subconscious. I've always been "always a birdes maid, never a bride" all my life. I'm not a "homewrecker" in that I willingly involve myself in a three ring circus of any kind, but it seems that these are the ones I always attract, like I'm great to talk with, flirt, even emotionally dump on (which once I realize they are asking advice for another woman I am out - learned my lessons) maybe that's the midheaven cancer in me? I've gotten better with my boundaries. Sometimes you may not even realize I'm an empath but the way I retaliate, or maybe you would, just one with strong boundaries. any suggestion on how to combat this? I am working on my self-esteem which is throughout my chart, sun in the 4th house. But just thought if I figured out the source I can work on it more.
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  #9  
Unread 05-28-2020, 08:59 AM
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Re: Why do I always attract men with secret girlfriends?

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Originally Posted by sashafasha44 View Post
Yes, it may very well be subconscious. I've always been "always a birdes maid, never a bride" all my life. I'm not a "homewrecker" in that I willingly involve myself in a three ring circus of any kind, but it seems that these are the ones I always attract, like I'm great to talk with, flirt, even emotionally dump on (which once I realize they are asking advice for another woman I am out - learned my lessons) maybe that's the midheaven cancer in me? I've gotten better with my boundaries. Sometimes you may not even realize I'm an empath but the way I retaliate, or maybe you would, just one with strong boundaries. any suggestion on how to combat this? I am working on my self-esteem which is throughout my chart, sun in the 4th house. But just thought if I figured out the source I can work on it more.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElenaJ View Post
Venus squares your ascendent so you are probably an attractive woman, and libra is always very gracious and sociable.
Scorpio of course screams sex.
But I suspect it is 5th house ruler Uranus on south node.
Attracting unusual, non-traditional partners or relationships.
Men might see the possibility for what would be, for them, an exciting rapport.
I will look more into this, thank you for the tips. Any ideas on how to "repair" this? Thanks again my friend.
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  #10  
Unread 05-28-2020, 09:03 AM
curiousabout77 curiousabout77 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sashafasha44 View Post
Yessss, extremely independent. & the few relationships I have had, I'll be honest, I lost myself in them & became codependent in trying to make them work, bc I can be a bit of a people pleaser, I think this aspect in thanks to my Libra rising however, but I am no starting to identify this issue & pattern. Also, all the men I've ever dated have been jealous of me, & attempted to bring me down, (I think) this is due to my Black Moon Lilith in Pisces. But I have actually thought about this before, I don't have "baggage" in the "usual" sense in that I am financially independent, educated, no kids, etc. So yes, I can see it being a gold mine for some men wanting to leech off of me. Usually people do not see my "meaner" side until I feel like I'm crossed, so I can be very nice (Libra Rising) until I am crossed, Capricorn/Scorpion. What do you think?
I agree with what your saying because you have an opposition between your moom in taurus and Mars and pluto in scorpio so when people hurt you or try to use you, you can really fight back and stand your ground. It is always close to the surface you because it involves first and seventh houses.
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Unread 05-28-2020, 10:58 AM
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Re: Why do I always attract men with secret girlfriends?

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Originally Posted by curiousabout77 View Post
I agree with what your saying because you have an opposition between your moom in taurus and Mars and pluto in scorpio so when people hurt you or try to use you, you can really fight back and stand your ground. It is always close to the surface you because it involves first and seventh houses.
what can i do to fix this? i try really really hard to not react but i will get extreme anxiety, & i want to be clear, i do not go looking for trouble, i actually prefer to not fight as i have never had a loving relationship where the man wasn't jealous, or hating, etc. so when i am provoked i get extremeeee anxiety & especially with quarantine it will drive me crazy. I'm actually making an effort to not allow anyone to talk to me romantically during these times bc as soon as i get disappointed it will hinder my growth progress. & again when I say provoked, I mean, for instance, when quarantine started two months ago i started talking to someone "heavy" alllll the time & after 3 weeks the baby mama that is supposedly out of the picture is suddenly back in. that's when I lose my **** bc I just got love bombed which I thought I was past those days but who doesn't love a good love bomb & at that point I feel invested (even though it was a short amount of time it was intense considering quarantine). this person & I have a soulmate connection but he is going through his saturn return so i conveniently used my scorpio "powers" to burn that bridge, but pretty sure he would still talk to me if I chose so. but man, it's like one step forward then two steps back.
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Unread 05-28-2020, 11:11 AM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is online now
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Re: Why do I always attract men with secret girlfriends?

You ask how can you fix these aspects in your chart.
The primary way, is to be aware and refuse to play the games others present to you.
Libra doesn't want to fight with anyone, and tends to bend over too much in the name of peace. Libra is the scale to keep balanced.
Now that you know also about the volatile aspect with moon, try to control it. It is a power that you can use positively. It's like in karate/judo when you use the opponent's force aimed at you to gain force and win. You absorb their energy and turn it around.
It takes time to learn how to do it, just like learning a sport in gym, but you can do it if you set your mind to it. That is one of the powers you have in your chart, transformation and rebirth!
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Unread 05-28-2020, 09:39 PM
curiousabout77 curiousabout77 is offline
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Re: Why do I always attract men with secret girlfriends?

I think sashafasha44 what is happening is that your becoming more and more aware of how people are manipulating you and trying to gain power over you and it hurts you emotionally which causes anxiety. I think you now need to use the knowledge of what you don't want in other people that hurts to look for people who have your best interests at heart and they do care about you by the way they talk to you and treat you. This way you will have deep positive emotions instead of terrible one's.
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  #14  
Unread 05-28-2020, 10:25 PM
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Re: Why do I always attract men with secret girlfriends?

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Originally Posted by sashafasha44 View Post
Weather it be online or in person it always turns out the truth comes to the light sooner then later and there is always some secret gf or wife I find out about. I mean I can be very nice and friendly and I do like to talk but I can also be pretty mean when I feel disrespected probably because of the Capricorn in my third house and my first house Stellium Scorpio makes me pretty aggressive but I am a Libra rising and Aquarius sun.
but most the people that I talk to donít know anything about this stuff so is it something that I am doing or is it something in the stars obviously once I find out Iím a palled but for instance just Saturday the neighbor across the way want to come over to my house and visit. I told him no of course but then asked if he had children and he said yes and then I asked if he had a wife and he said yes and I just donít understand why some people get the audacity to behave like this but it just happens all too often with me like Iím always the fun girl or idk. Any tips? Also my chiron in Taurus 8th I think also contributes to my self esteem issues however I mask that pretty well with my defensiveness thanks to my Scorpion and Capricorn side so not sure what is it. Here's my chart. https://imgur.com/a/7JHgD4P
Your chart does show a tendency to get involved with...errr...unsavory individuals. People having secret girlfriends is an interesting manifestation of what you have going on.

Mars rules your 7th house and is in Scorpio....in the 2nd house, unable to see your Aries 7th house AND is conjunct the out of sect malefic Saturn. Saturn is associated with secrecy, lies, deception, and manipulation. The 2nd house (along with the 6th, 8th, and 12th) also have to do with general shadiness, though the 2nd isn't that bad.

That Mars/Saturn conjunction could mean people who are deceptive or otherwise manipulative, if not outright abusive. I don't have much to add to what the others have said here, but the key is learning to recognize the signs of these types of people before they get the chance to attach themselves to you.
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Unread 06-26-2020, 09:12 AM
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sashafasha44 sashafasha44 is offline
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Sorry for such a late reply I didnít know how to access this board again. I think youíre correct I have been really good about breaking my codependency issues actually and becoming more aware and this was really helpful thank you for your input.


Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousabout77 View Post
I think sashafasha44 what is happening is that your becoming more and more aware of how people are manipulating you and trying to gain power over you and it hurts you emotionally which causes anxiety. I think you now need to use the knowledge of what you don't want in other people that hurts to look for people who have your best interests at heart and they do care about you by the way they talk to you and treat you. This way you will have deep positive emotions instead of terrible one's.
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Unread 06-26-2020, 09:13 AM
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Hey sorry for taking so long to get back Iím going to look into that Mars Saturn conjunction a little more thank you for telling me that thatís a really great tip. I guess anything can be fixed for the most part as long as we figure it out and make ourselves aware of it huh

Quote:
Originally Posted by sworm09 View Post
Your chart does show a tendency to get involved with...errr...unsavory individuals. People having secret girlfriends is an interesting manifestation of what you have going on.

Mars rules your 7th house and is in Scorpio....in the 2nd house, unable to see your Aries 7th house AND is conjunct the out of sect malefic Saturn. Saturn is associated with secrecy, lies, deception, and manipulation. The 2nd house (along with the 6th, 8th, and 12th) also have to do with general shadiness, though the 2nd isn't that bad.

That Mars/Saturn conjunction could mean people who are deceptive or otherwise manipulative, if not outright abusive. I don't have much to add to what the others have said here, but the key is learning to recognize the signs of these types of people before they get the chance to attach themselves to you.

Last edited by wilsontc; 06-26-2020 at 12:41 PM.
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