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  #1  
Unread 11-05-2012, 05:32 PM
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fullmoonlibra fullmoonlibra is offline
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blocked, unfocused, shattered

I envy people with stellia
They know perfectly what they want from life and they can work on a goal and start their life on a normal age. So focused are they!
I'm 26 years old and I'm still in search for what I really want from life.
I have a splash chart which gives me Mercurian traits, and my progression chart is mainly Mercurian too. So I understand the 'having a word to say about every subject, but no profundity'.

I have painted, and I believed I would become a painter, a famous one. Lost interest.
When at college, I studied Psychology, I have my bachelor degree, but didn't finish my Master's degree. Lost interest.
Meanwhile, I started photography courses, because I do take good pictures and have some what talent. And I believed that I would become a photographer, a famous one.
Lost interest.
After that I started to take violin courses and I believed I would become a violinist, a famous one.
Lost interest.
After that I started courses at the film school and I believed I would become a film director, a famous one. Lost interest.

I'm writing columns and there were so many times that I just wanted to stop writing, but I'm forcing myself to keep writing columns, because I don't want to loose interest in writing too. Because that's finally what I want to do.
Because during whole this process, I keep believing that some day I will become a writer, a famous one (of course..)

AND meanwhile I keep making new goals..

I'm playing the piano and I believe that I will make a music album with my own music. I will not be famous maybe, but at least I will feel successful.
Also, I want to have my own art exhibition one day, with my paint works. This is also a factor which will not give fame, but at least I will feel successful...

But now the problem is:
- I feel blocked, cause every day I can't pick one interest on which I can work on.
- I'm afraid I will loose interest again.
- I feel that being a writer is actually my main goal, but I lack the discipline and patience for that (the many stuff I did in which I lost interest is a pure proof)

Is there anything in my chart which is helpful for me, which pops out and is more the thing I should start with, or an aspect where I can focus on, so I will be more unfocused??
The first chart (30 oct) is my progression chart and the second one (5 nov) is my natal chart with transits.
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File Type: jpg 30 OCT.jpg (82.1 KB, 19 views)
File Type: jpg 5 NOV.jpg (84.1 KB, 15 views)

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  #2  
Unread 11-05-2012, 06:36 PM
Temperance Temperance is offline
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Re: blocked, unfocused, shattered

Chiron right there at the top of both charts in your 10th. It might be that your focus is only on the fame and honor. You didn't mention how good of a painter, psychologist or pianist you are which you probably are, but that you do have a talent for photography. With both Mars and Neptune in your fifth you obviously are imaginative, very creative and best of all know how to enjoy it. Also you can invest a lot of energy in creativity and that's probably why you've done so much already.

You can probably focus on all your previous interests together and not worry about 'putting all your eggs in one basket'. Enjoy your multi talents and realise that with Venus in your 10th, as well, there is a very big chance you probably will be famous.
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  #3  
Unread 11-05-2012, 07:41 PM
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Re: blocked, unfocused, shattered

Is the first chart your birth chart? That's how I'm reading it.

You have a "splash" type of chart. The down side can be an inability to focus, but the up side is that you have a more panoramic view of life because you are able to visualize it from different perspectives. You would be good at a job that requires a lot of versatility and the ability to relate to all sorts of different people.

I would suggest you kill off and bury your idea that a vocation in life needs to lead to fame. It seems immature to me. How many people ever get famous at anything? Very few. Take photography. Photographers do make money with special-occasion photographs, such as weddings, plus some sales of their fine art photos.

But that Saturn-Chiron opposition sitting on your IC-MC axis won't let you alone, will it?

I suggest you start thinking about the good-enough job, the OK life, the pleasant group of support networks.

And then think about what life is actually life for people who are famous. Their lives are constantly under public scrutiny, constantly subject to criticism. Is this what you want for yourself?

The main thing to work on is simply getting a job done because you say so, not because it is holding your interest.

You have Venus and Mercury in mutual reception as strong career indicators, so your insticts about the arts are, I think, correct. So is your very strong Jupiter in the 7th house, dignified in Pisces and ats the tip of a yod, indicated for a career in counseling.

Think about teaching art, or art therapy.
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Last edited by waybread; 11-05-2012 at 08:15 PM.
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  #4  
Unread 11-05-2012, 08:43 PM
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Re: blocked, unfocused, shattered

November 5, 2012
Hello Again: It is my belief that the universal feeling of being unfocused and unmotivated is the result of Neptune now having entered Pisces. Believe me, it appears that this nebulous state of consciousness is widespread within the collective consciousness. I hear these same difficulties written about day after day. I know there is a reason for that, and that the current planetary configurations are working towards one end that will be felt globally. In general, our consciousness is being diffused as a necessary preparation for what lies ahead.
Neptune is the energy of dissipation, confusion, disorientation, indecision, fogginess and 'not seeing clearly'. Neptune is also about spirituality and transcendence. The planet returned to it's own sign at the beginning of the year, and in it's own sign the energy excels in it's purpose. It has been retrograde for a time which probably accounts for the overall lack of motivation and fuzzy headed thinking we all have been undergoing. There is about to be a change however, as Neptune is set to go forward again, which will take place on November 11, which may be quite significant. I anticipate that things will start to be a little more clear, and the inspiration that has been lacking may once again be felt. I too am hoping that the 'fog' will finally lift. I have previously spoken to you about the true purpose of relationships, which takes up a lot of attention and focus.
Saturn is the next actor that often serves to make us feel blocked, and now that there has been a change in it's energy expression, many of us feel the constraints of that as well. With this planet now transiting your Pluto in good aspect to your Sun, there can be hope for a new revival for you and this will be all about creating a new identity for yourself; gaining perspective perhaps, in the way that you see yourself, and what your true meaning in life is all about. Of course, I can tell you all the reasons Why you are experiencing the things you are, but you are apt to be looking for more simplified answers which allows you to get straight to the point. You do have a lot of positive aspects to go through, and keep in mind that you are still very young, in terms of what lies ahead for you. So it is important to look at these sextiles and trines in the chart. Creative or artistic talents are supported through the aspects between Moon/Venus, Mars/Neptune in the 5th also trine your Sun. You are also undergoing a turning point in the cycle of Jupiter, and this suggests that you need to take a pit stop and take a deeper look at the questions of concern, and perhaps redefine more clearly your goals and aspirations in life. Jupiter also relates to spirituality [not associated with religious organizations] and thus you could also take some time to rediscover your own inner divinity through meditation, self-reflection or journalizing. I do see the specific indications for you being adept at writing, and I believe this is the avenue you might be best suited for. You might want to explore that prospect more intensely. I know that whenever I am feeling blocked, writing offers the way out for me. I say that is what you might focus on more specifically. But don't think of writing in terms of traditional expectations: I do not believe that entering the publishing world is the only way to go. I do believe that journalizing is a very helpful way to resolve your personal concerns. I do believe also that many are beginning to delve into the spiritual, or metaphysical, reality of life for the answers that otherwise elude them. I could offer you much more data about that, however I do not know whether you have fixed views or religious orientation. Consider the energies of Scorpio for clues on that: and by the way Saturn is currently tap-dancing over your natal Pluto, and I think that may be the way of breaking out of the void you are experiencing. Pluto is about power, and control, and is also related to our search for empowerment over oppressive situations. I do hope this transit will offer some light at the end of the tunnel for you. Wishing you good health and the ability to find your true peace within.
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  #5  
Unread 11-05-2012, 11:07 PM
gen6k gen6k is offline
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Re: blocked, unfocused, shattered

maybe you should personally go for a "non-labor" type of goal. that might be what im doing. im pretty much obsessed with a self-negating type of enlightenment.

it is more of an exploration process for me including taking radical turns that others might see as self-defeating or too eclectic. for example i appreciate notions of anti-philosophy. or living in the "simple".

whenever i picked something in the past i would eventually just feel like dead weight carrying something towards its end. i wouldnt even agree with it eventually.

instead i took up this goal of synthesizing an entire vision of everything that exists. i told my friend this "experiencing everything thats possible is the most exciting thing possible" i said that when i was 19. i didnt mean it in a happy-go-lucky freedom lover type of thing. more of a serious meditation on it. more the opposite of that also.

so my goals would be to reach some kind of break from experience. it also includes helping people for example that is when im willing to do something. i usually take service orientated jobs like tech support. now im more in to researching political economy.

its really not about producing something because someone said you have to. its about the process and vision at first.

also learning a particular is not a mistake if you can see the bigger case. it doesnt go to waste because thinking in general is all holding at abstract renditions. then it gets easier to collect the peices in to one thing.

i also utilize methodology. theres a particular reason why i do something thats more eternal than the situation itself.

since i already saw tv, and they dont make movies as good as around 2000 when the matrix came out. i cut off tv around 4 years ago. i also dont have many small talk types of friends, or philistine types of friends. id rather read a book on druidry, topology at least for the concepts, or sit in at some random class like architecture and participate.

im not attached to any group, or never was. i would usually rotate groups and keep my individuality by increasing solitude or going to a different type of rule-setting. cause a group eats up your purpose, and takes up your time. it can also decrease the potency of your mind, and just feel castrating in general. theres just general attitudes or topics that can be discussed in each of them. a group is really a chart, and its all groups of things. its about group alignment. theres many different group charts.

i learned to control my thoughts as well. most of the thoughts and desires that are arranged in the mind during certain phases are completely garbage, and society pressures this lower system of thought. there is something exceedingly valuable in dissemination.

ive pretty much been encased in every segment of society at some time.

my north node in vedic is in aquarius, so its always more underground. it is also more arian in its novelty and primitivism. i tend to accelerate the process with structural-relocation type wisdom. for example only a few people know that i practice astrology, and learned it in about 5-6 months.

Last edited by gen6k; 11-06-2012 at 11:04 AM.
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  #6  
Unread 11-05-2012, 11:44 PM
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Joseph Astrologer Joseph Astrologer is offline
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Re: blocked, unfocused, shattered

Erratic energy and sudden changes to how you mix with others in the world is part and parcel with having Uranus ruling your Descendant. Order in chaos is the slogan here! This is the inner other that you are striving to ‘come to peace with’. So depending on how you feel about all this genius/unpredictable nature that you show the world, will tell you how much you have integrated this inner other of Aquarius. Starting projects with zest and enthusiasm (North Node in Aries in 9th House) is good for you! J Inducing thought provoking stability and determination to complete things will take you to become ‘obsessed’ in a healthy way with what you are learning (Sun Taurus opposite Pluto Scorpio). You have a fast, fiery and creative mind but with some issues of the norm's version of 'discipline' (Mercury square Mars), and there is some general indecisiveness there (Moon Libra), which will all put tension and create a vortex power within your house of creativity, where there are big dreams and goals of trying to be ‘famous’ (T Square in 5th house with Mars and Neptune conjunct), so just watch for illusions of grandeur, and rather focus on offsetting tension by nurturing your dreams/talents that you have cultivated since childhood/teenage years (Cancer/Gemini influencing the 11th house). Oh and you have completed something, your degree, so congratulations as this is more than most people! J
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  #7  
Unread 11-06-2012, 04:35 AM
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Re: blocked, unfocused, shattered

Quote:
Originally Posted by fullmoonlibra View Post

I have a splash chart which gives me Mercurian traits, and my progression chart is mainly Mercurian too. So I understand the 'having a word to say about every subject, but no profundity'.

But now the problem is:
- I feel blocked, cause every day I can't pick one interest on which I can work on.
- I'm afraid I will loose interest again.
- I feel that being a writer is actually my main goal, but I lack the discipline and patience for that (the many stuff I did in which I lost interest is a pure proof)

Is there anything in my chart which is helpful for me, which pops out and is more the thing I should start with, or an aspect where I can focus on, so I will be more unfocused??
The first chart (30 oct) is my progression chart and the second one (5 nov) is my natal chart with transits.


Do not have your DOB TIME & PLACE...


But, your mercury is debilitated.

You are definitely Leo and MOST BENEFICIAL PLANET IS MARS.

Your health should be good as Sun is strong.

Your Venus is well placed in Taurus.


concentrate on Mars, Sun, Jupiter.

Could have checked Vimsottari dasa under Vedic astrology but birth info not available.

Your chart is strong and good.

best wishes

rajarshi
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  #8  
Unread 11-07-2012, 12:22 AM
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Re: blocked, unfocused, shattered

Quote:
Originally Posted by fullmoonlibra View Post
I envy people with stellia
They know perfectly what they want from life and they can work on a goal and start their life on a normal age. So focused are they!
I'm 26 years old and I'm still in search for what I really want from life.
I have a splash chart which gives me Mercurian traits, and my progression chart is mainly Mercurian too. So I understand the 'having a word to say about every subject, but no profundity'.

I have painted, and I believed I would become a painter, a famous one. Lost interest.
When at college, I studied Psychology, I have my bachelor degree, but didn't finish my Master's degree. Lost interest.
Meanwhile, I started photography courses, because I do take good pictures and have some what talent. And I believed that I would become a photographer, a famous one.
Lost interest.
After that I started to take violin courses and I believed I would become a violinist, a famous one.
Lost interest.
After that I started courses at the film school and I believed I would become a film director, a famous one. Lost interest.

I'm writing columns and there were so many times that I just wanted to stop writing, but I'm forcing myself to keep writing columns, because I don't want to loose interest in writing too. Because that's finally what I want to do.
Because during whole this process, I keep believing that some day I will become a writer, a famous one (of course..)

AND meanwhile I keep making new goals..

I'm playing the piano and I believe that I will make a music album with my own music. I will not be famous maybe, but at least I will feel successful.
Also, I want to have my own art exhibition one day, with my paint works. This is also a factor which will not give fame, but at least I will feel successful...

But now the problem is:
- I feel blocked, cause every day I can't pick one interest on which I can work on.
- I'm afraid I will loose interest again.
- I feel that being a writer is actually my main goal, but I lack the discipline and patience for that (the many stuff I did in which I lost interest is a pure proof)

Is there anything in my chart which is helpful for me, which pops out and is more the thing I should start with, or an aspect where I can focus on, so I will be more unfocused??
The first chart (30 oct) is my progression chart and the second one (5 nov) is my natal chart with transits.
im 52 i have a stellium i also have mars in 10th and i STILL havent worked out what i want to do!!!!! You are not alone
But make more decisions whilst your young and donT drift
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  #9  
Unread 11-09-2012, 09:47 PM
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fullmoonlibra fullmoonlibra is offline
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Re: blocked, unfocused, shattered

Quote:
Originally Posted by Temperance View Post
Chiron right there at the top of both charts in your 10th. It might be that your focus is only on the fame and honor. You didn't mention how good of a painter, psychologist or pianist you are which you probably are, but that you do have a talent for photography. With both Mars and Neptune in your fifth you obviously are imaginative, very creative and best of all know how to enjoy it. Also you can invest a lot of energy in creativity and that's probably why you've done so much already.

You can probably focus on all your previous interests together and not worry about 'putting all your eggs in one basket'. Enjoy your multi talents and realise that with Venus in your 10th, as well, there is a very big chance you probably will be famous.
I know I have talent, but what does it matter if I'm the only one who knows it? All artists want to express their creativity, they want to show it.
I have no audience
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  #10  
Unread 11-09-2012, 09:57 PM
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Re: blocked, unfocused, shattered

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bas Astro Service View Post
With Neptune in the 5th house you can also work in the toy industry, you could be an artist, film or theatre director, writer or painter. You can be very famous in every subject, because your personality can attract public identification and can make you an idol.
It could also be that your own child may become famous. You can take a leading role.
I'm rather the novelist than someone who's working in the toy industry. I'm not really good with kids, but I know, the moment when I become a mother, I will be overprotected. I'm already too protective to my pets, they are like my children, my love to them is not normal.
Once, when I was on vacation with friends, we were walking next to a roadway and I kept hearing a miewing sound. I got crazy, I needed to find the kitten who needed help. And then I saw a baby cat who was injured: car accident. The mother was next to her, dead.
My friends said that I should let the kitten there, because we couldn't take care of it, we were on holiday and there was no place for a kitten and it smelled very bad and that it would die eventually.
I was crying for the kitten and I was angry at my friends. I took the kitten with us and went back to our hotel, ran away from wild dogs who heared the kitten miewing in my hand, and came eventually safe at the hotel and took care of it in the night. The next morning I searched for a veterinarian and found one and went there with the baby kitten. And there the vet put the kitten into sleep. I knew the kitten would die eventually, but it needed a painless dead with lots of care before it died.
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  #11  
Unread 11-09-2012, 10:15 PM
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fullmoonlibra fullmoonlibra is offline
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Re: blocked, unfocused, shattered

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rajarshi View Post
Do not have your DOB TIME & PLACE...


But, your mercury is debilitated.

You are definitely Leo and MOST BENEFICIAL PLANET IS MARS.

Your health should be good as Sun is strong.

Your Venus is well placed in Taurus.


concentrate on Mars, Sun, Jupiter.

Could have checked Vimsottari dasa under Vedic astrology but birth info not available.

Your chart is strong and good.

best wishes

rajarshi
Very interesting view on my chart
If Mercury is not in a good position, why do I want to become writer then (novelist) and why is there some talent about it?
And also, what makes you think I'm a Leo - type? Is it the loaded fifth house?

Last edited by fullmoonlibra; 11-09-2012 at 10:18 PM.
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