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  #1  
Unread 03-26-2020, 07:52 PM
Number0 Number0 is offline
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Constant despair.

I guess i said it in the title 😁
If there's anyone, who's more familiar with astrology than me, i would very much appreciate any type of help trying to understand my chart. The thing is that my whole life (since like kindergarten) I've been struggling. The classic "quiet kid" in school, not having any person I truly trust, due to always noticing the ugly in people, poor relationships with family members, and so on. In fact, I always had "friends" in any school, uni, but it's always just a surface level friendship, and people often turn away from me, and I guess I do feel more comfortable alone in a way. Despite the fact that I think I'm over the "it's not a phase mom" age 😁, with each year I'm literally becoming more and more helpless. Everything seems useless and I do not remember a day I was truly happy. It's like each morning I'm putting on black colored glasses that I'm looking through at the world. Everything that people around me seem to enjoy, doesn't mean anything to me, and in fact, I usually look at it and people in a cynical way. One thing I can say- I do feel better when succeeding academically, but even my academics have been suffering due to me being me, but I know I could do much better, as I easily deal with logical problems. So I guess trying to understand my chart is a way I'm subconsciously trying to understand myself, and trying to get out of this eternal circle of hate.
Perhaps there is something in my chart, which makes me that way?
My chart- https://pasteboard.co/J0V1dTY.png

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  #2  
Unread 03-26-2020, 11:16 PM
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Re: Constant despair.

The chart is not attached to the post Can you please post it again?
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  #3  
Unread 03-27-2020, 03:16 AM
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Re: Constant despair.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kiki68 View Post
The chart is not attached to the post Can you please post it again?
If you cut and paste the link at the bottom, it will come up...
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  #4  
Unread 03-27-2020, 03:21 AM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Constant despair.

You have a very fascinating chart. I would be happy to discuss it with you.

I am really interested in your Neptune right on your Ascendant. Usually indicates very attractive, sensitive, artistic types.

But your Moon is under siege .......It conjuncts Saturn, opposes Pluto and squares Mars.

The thing is, whenever I submit a long post about someone's chart, and they have only been here once, they almost never check back. And so my efforts are wasted.

If you check back and want to learn more about Your Moon and Neptune, leave a reply....otherwise I won't bother to ramble on further...
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  #5  
Unread 03-27-2020, 05:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid View Post
You have a very fascinating chart. I would be happy to discuss it with you.

I am really interested in your Neptune right on your Ascendant. Usually indicates very attractive, sensitive, artistic types.

But your Moon is under siege .......It conjuncts Saturn, opposes Pluto and squares Mars.

The thing is, whenever I submit a long post about someone's chart, and they have only been here once, they almost never check back. And so my efforts are wasted.

If you check back and want to learn more about Your Moon and Neptune, leave a reply....otherwise I won't bother to ramble on further...
Thank you so much for your reply! ❤
Yeah, I've been interested in art and music my whole life, I guess it makes sense now. But now it just always feels like a waste of time honestly 😁
I would love to hear more about it 💮

Last edited by Number0; 03-27-2020 at 05:43 AM.
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  #6  
Unread 03-27-2020, 07:49 AM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Constant despair.

You have Neptune in Aquarius, right exactly on top of your ascendant.
That Neptune is in a nice trine aspect with your Moon in Gemini. It would be even better if Saturn wasn't sitting right there alongside the Moon.

I think it's Neptune that says:
" Yeah, I've been interested in art and music my whole life, I guess it makes sense now."

I think it is Saturn that says:
" But now it just always feels like a waste of time honestly"


https://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/P...unct-Ascendant
NEPTUNE:
Neptune represents our subconscious mind. It is associated with dreams, inspiration, psychic receptivity and illusion. It is also associated with intuition and spiritual enlightenment. It is also a planet of mercy and compassion. In your chart, if Neptune is well aspected will indicate a great inner sensitivity, to manifest dreams and become highly creative.

Negatively, it will indicate deception, deceit and addiction.

Neptune Conjunct Ascendant

"Any planets that are conjunct your Ascendant will influence your appearance and personality greatly. Neptune is no exception and due to its boundless and dreamy nature your personality will be less solidified and perhaps fragmented, especially if you have other challenging aspects to Neptune.

WithNeptune in your 12th house, you will be more secretive by nature and you may enjoy solitude in order to recharge your energies. Occasionally, you may feel as though interaction with others can be draining and itís important to avoid too much negative energy in your environment.

You will have an elusive and dream-like quality about you, and other people will never be quite sure whether you are showing them your true self or reflecting what you feel they want to see. This is hardly surprising since you are never quite sure yourself.

The influence of Neptune ranges from unrealistic dreaming and illusion to the highest spiritual awareness and self-surrender, the trick is to find some kind of balance between these two poles. You can act like a chameleon at times, by changing your personality and self-image to match your environment and people around you.

It is best to look at what you fear especially when it comes to your identity and ego energies. These fears may be holding you back from integrating a more whole and solid identity.

Avoid escaping reality into your own dreamworld, it is easy for you to do this as your imagination is quite strong. You have a strong intuition and possible psychic talents.

You have more compassion and sympathy, especially for people who are oppressed. It can be good to work in a social area where you can help and assist people in need."



So google ' Neptune rising' or 'Neptune conjunct Ascendant' to learn more.

And Also 'Aquarius rising' or Aquarius Ascendant

Because that is a veery important component too. Aquarius rising can be difficult because they don't usually feel like they 'fit' well with others, or with society in general.

Nor do they want to. lol

Aquarians often tend to 'disconnect' from others emotionally and physically, because it is more comfortable overall.

And your Aquarius ascendant has the extreme sensitivity of the Neptune conjunction. So it heightens the senses and thus the extreme sensitivity that you may feel when others invade your space.

And your Moon, which we will discuss in PT 2, is even more sensitive and emotionally reactive than the Neptune rising...
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Unread 03-27-2020, 09:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid View Post
You have Neptune in Aquarius, right exactly on top of your ascendant.
That Neptune is in a nice trine aspect with your Moon in Gemini. It would be even better if Saturn wasn't sitting right there alongside the Moon.

I think it's Neptune that says:
" Yeah, I've been interested in art and music my whole life, I guess it makes sense now."

I think it is Saturn that says:
" But now it just always feels like a waste of time honestly"


https://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/P...unct-Ascendant
NEPTUNE:
Neptune represents our subconscious mind. It is associated with dreams, inspiration, psychic receptivity and illusion. It is also associated with intuition and spiritual enlightenment. It is also a planet of mercy and compassion. In your chart, if Neptune is well aspected will indicate a great inner sensitivity, to manifest dreams and become highly creative.

Negatively, it will indicate deception, deceit and addiction.

Neptune Conjunct Ascendant

"Any planets that are conjunct your Ascendant will influence your appearance and personality greatly. Neptune is no exception and due to its boundless and dreamy nature your personality will be less solidified and perhaps fragmented, especially if you have other challenging aspects to Neptune.

WithNeptune in your 12th house, you will be more secretive by nature and you may enjoy solitude in order to recharge your energies. Occasionally, you may feel as though interaction with others can be draining and itís important to avoid too much negative energy in your environment.

You will have an elusive and dream-like quality about you, and other people will never be quite sure whether you are showing them your true self or reflecting what you feel they want to see. This is hardly surprising since you are never quite sure yourself.

The influence of Neptune ranges from unrealistic dreaming and illusion to the highest spiritual awareness and self-surrender, the trick is to find some kind of balance between these two poles. You can act like a chameleon at times, by changing your personality and self-image to match your environment and people around you.

It is best to look at what you fear especially when it comes to your identity and ego energies. These fears may be holding you back from integrating a more whole and solid identity.

Avoid escaping reality into your own dreamworld, it is easy for you to do this as your imagination is quite strong. You have a strong intuition and possible psychic talents.

You have more compassion and sympathy, especially for people who are oppressed. It can be good to work in a social area where you can help and assist people in need."



So google ' Neptune rising' or 'Neptune conjunct Ascendant' to learn more.

And Also 'Aquarius rising' or Aquarius Ascendant

Because that is a veery important component too. Aquarius rising can be difficult because they don't usually feel like they 'fit' well with others, or with society in general.

Nor do they want to. lol

Aquarians often tend to 'disconnect' from others emotionally and physically, because it is more comfortable overall.

And your Aquarius ascendant has the extreme sensitivity of the Neptune conjunction. So it heightens the senses and thus the extreme sensitivity that you may feel when others invade your space.

And your Moon, which we will discuss in PT 2, is even more sensitive and emotionally reactive than the Neptune rising...
Thank you soo much for such a detailed response!
It is actually frightening how accurate it is 😁 Especially regarding secrecy, which sometimes is unexplainable, even to myself 👀 It is very interesting through, I guess that despite being sensitive because of the Neptune placement, with the ability of Aquarius rising to "disconnect", it might give that inner conflict... I did look up into Neptune conjuct Asc aspect, it seems like it's not an easy one

Last edited by Number0; 03-29-2020 at 11:51 PM.
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  #8  
Unread 03-27-2020, 08:18 PM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Constant despair.

So we need to find the cure for the difficult parts.

Can you refocus on your artistic creativity and spirituality?

Can you put more effort into compassionate pursuits? If you feel despair, the answer is to reach out to others in despair, ands help them.

The other major stressor in your chart is the T-square to your Mars, from the Moon/Saturn opposition to Pluto.

It will take a long time to unpack that and discuss it fully. It is a complex configuration and has a big impact upon your emotional stability.

Have you had any counselling or therapy to try and work through your childhood issues with family? It might be very beneficial for you.

You have Moon conjunct Saturn. That is a blockage or a repression of your emotional self expression, often learned in childhood, from fear or tension in the home?

And that Moon/Saturn is opposed to Pluto. So it intensifies those feelings of repression or fear. All of that energy makes a T-square to your Mars, which is your ability to take action and be motivated and ambitious.

And so that self motivation is under siege by your inherited emotional repression ,
making you feel helpless or worthless or trapped
.

This complex is something you may need help with in order to sort it all out. Doing it all on your own further isolates you.

Reach out for help from professionals. Have you tried to do so in the past?

You could be a very good therapist or counsellor for others. But not for yourself.

Last edited by katydid; 03-27-2020 at 08:22 PM.
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  #9  
Unread 03-27-2020, 08:35 PM
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Re: Constant despair.

Just to add a little something...

Having your Neptune on your Ascendant, would you say this makes you feel invisible to people? Like you feel like you are ignored and not taken seriously, people don't see you for who you truly are?

Also in your chart, your most troublesome planet is your mars in Pisces, with this being a day chart. Do you find it hard to stand up for yourself and assert yourself?
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  #10  
Unread 03-27-2020, 08:36 PM
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Re: Constant despair.

Moon conjunct Saturn, natal chart:

https://www.leahwhitehorse.com/2013/...njunct-saturn/

You may have a cool, controlled exterior but inside you are sensitive to criticism and may fear rejection. The presence of Saturn gives you a tendency to instinctively protect yourself against others. Guarded in manner, you may be reserved in social settings, preferring work over play.

There is emotional restraint, sometimes as a result of a strict up-bringing (for example with set political, religious or cultural beliefs) or a stern parent (often the Mother). You may have had to grow up fast when really you were still young and tender or felt that you were never quite good enough for your parents or guardians.


You may be cautious and conservative in your approach to life, preferring the safer option. Sometimes it may be difficult to shake off a pessimistic outlook, often as a result of taking life and yourself too seriously. It can be easy to fall into defeatist thinking or dark moods that you carry like a cloud.

The plus side to this aspect is that as you grow older, you can develop emotional maturity and provide rock solid support and commitment to those you love.

By challenging negative experiences and childhood resentments, you are able to break the chains that bind you to feeling as though you Ďshouldí behave in a certain way.

Once these emotional binds are broken, this frees you to express your emotions with depth and maturity. Having this aspect means that you take your responsibilities very seriously and can exhibit strong self-discipline which can help you to achieve your goals.

Your capacity to endure hard times is exceptional but there may come a time when you simply laugh in the face of adversity Ė the hallmark of a well-functioning Moon-Saturn connection is a dry sense of humour.

Tips for making the best of this aspect
Write down happy memories; learn to ask for help; think positively; let the barriers down; allow yourself to love and be loved.




The Saturn /Moon conjunction is very important to try and delve into. It is a big emotional component of your chart.


After researching that , then google 'Moon opposed Pluto.' That will take you to a deeper level.
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  #11  
Unread 03-27-2020, 08:59 PM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Constant despair.

The Moon opposed Pluto is where I think you might need help from a therapist, counsellor or healer or a professional.

It is often deep seated, ingrained emotional conflict from childhood.
https://astrologyking.com/moon-opposite-pluto/


Moon opposite Pluto, natal:

Moon opposite Pluto natal gives you intense and complex feelings. The extremes in mood and behavior you display can often cause relationship problems. Your emotions can become so intense that they frighten other people.

Of all the opposition aspects in astrology, Moon opposite Pluto most resembles bipolar symptoms. Alternating extremes of emotion and behavior are the signs of both bipolar disorder and Moon opposite Pluto. There is no need to feel ashamed of your intense emotional nature. Such strong emotions show how much you care for loved ones.

Donít let other people tell you how to feel. Sinister people can appear to come out of the woodwork at times. By tugging on your emotions, making you feel guilty or fearful, they will try to take your money or something you are emotionally attached to. These people seek emotionally vulnerable people to manipulate and control. They seek to steal your positive energy and self-confidence.

When you are sad you are very sad. Your depressive periods can include crying, hopelessness, fear, jealousy, obsessiveness, and poor eye contact with others. When you are happy you are unsettling happy. During manic periods you may behave or feel unusually energetic, happy, or irritable, need little sleep and make poorly thought out decisions with little regard to the consequences.

You will feel this aspect more strongly is you had an overly possessive or interfering mother. You may end up being too scared to fully express your true feelings because of a dominating or dramatic parent. You, more than most people, can dramatically transform your life through sharing your deep feelings instead of trying to hide them.

If you donít feel confident enough to talk to family or friends about your dark feelings then see a therapist or psychologist.



Now keep in mind, the Above ^^ description of Moon opposed Pluto, does not include the fact that your Moon is also conjunct Saturn.

So you have to merge the two definitions. Moon/Pluto is intense and extreme expression of emotions , and yet Saturn added to the mix is controlled and repressed emotional reactions.

So that is where the inner conflict can be felt. Feelings of emotional intensity, rebellion and wanting to be heard. Versus repressed feelings and fear of expressing oneself fully.


So you also have a Saturn/Pluto opposition. And that is often an indication of difficult circumstances, socially, politically, financially, legally, surrounding you in the past. [The moon brings in childhood and your family]

So you may have lived through times that were extremely difficult and you had no way to change them or deal with them but had to endure. ?
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Unread 03-27-2020, 09:05 PM
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Re: Constant despair.

I'm still looking at your Neptune on your Ascendant. I think this is a big problem for you, I think besides being invisible to others, you also struggle with who you are as a person, you don't know who you really are, where your life is going or what you even want. Maybe you also find yourself consulting psychics for answers to these questions.

Using another technique would be the zodiacal degree of the zodiac placement your Neptune is placed in, which is Libra. So from this, it shows that you have the most Neptunian problems with relationships with others, which relates to what I said before of being misunderstood, you feel like you fade into the background, you feel like you need to please others to be noticed, etc, but I don't even think this would work with this placement. People just can't figure you out because of Neptune.

As Neptune is also the planet of deceit, do you feel like you get blamed for things you haven't even done?
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Unread 03-28-2020, 12:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid View Post
The Moon opposed Pluto is where I think you might need help from a therapist, counsellor or healer or a professional.

It is often deep seated, ingrained emotional conflict from childhood.
https://astrologyking.com/moon-opposite-pluto/


Moon opposite Pluto, natal:

Moon opposite Pluto natal gives you intense and complex feelings. The extremes in mood and behavior you display can often cause relationship problems. Your emotions can become so intense that they frighten other people.

Of all the opposition aspects in astrology, Moon opposite Pluto most resembles bipolar symptoms. Alternating extremes of emotion and behavior are the signs of both bipolar disorder and Moon opposite Pluto. There is no need to feel ashamed of your intense emotional nature. Such strong emotions show how much you care for loved ones.

Donít let other people tell you how to feel. Sinister people can appear to come out of the woodwork at times. By tugging on your emotions, making you feel guilty or fearful, they will try to take your money or something you are emotionally attached to. These people seek emotionally vulnerable people to manipulate and control. They seek to steal your positive energy and self-confidence.

When you are sad you are very sad. Your depressive periods can include crying, hopelessness, fear, jealousy, obsessiveness, and poor eye contact with others. When you are happy you are unsettling happy. During manic periods you may behave or feel unusually energetic, happy, or irritable, need little sleep and make poorly thought out decisions with little regard to the consequences.

You will feel this aspect more strongly is you had an overly possessive or interfering mother. You may end up being too scared to fully express your true feelings because of a dominating or dramatic parent. You, more than most people, can dramatically transform your life through sharing your deep feelings instead of trying to hide them.

If you donít feel confident enough to talk to family or friends about your dark feelings then see a therapist or psychologist.



Now keep in mind, the Above ^^ description of Moon opposed Pluto, does not include the fact that your Moon is also conjunct Saturn.

So you have to merge the two definitions. Moon/Pluto is intense and extreme expression of emotions , and yet Saturn added to the mix is controlled and repressed emotional reactions.

So that is where the inner conflict can be felt. Feelings of emotional intensity, rebellion and wanting to be heard. Versus repressed feelings and fear of expressing oneself fully.


So you also have a Saturn/Pluto opposition. And that is often an indication of difficult circumstances, socially, politically, financially, legally, surrounding you in the past. [The moon brings in childhood and your family]

So you may have lived through times that were extremely difficult and you had no way to change them or deal with them but had to endure. ?
Wow, that's a lot, It seems like I'm very lucky with my chart, especially with my moon opposite pluto 😁 and yes, I do help people quite a lot, for ex. personal problems, and people seem to trust me, even if im not close to them at all

And no, I've never seen a professional, but I'm interested in psychology, so that's one way how I've always tried to understand myself better
It is true, that I grew up much faster, I've heard that from other people a lot as well

And regarding childhood, I would say that I've just always been on my own with my issues, esp. personal problems, yet having a lot of control from the mother, which sometimes goes to extremes. And regarding mother, it is very true, I do have a very complex relationship with her, and she does make me feel guilty a lot sometimes
I don't think she does that on purpose though, it is just her personality, and I don't want to blame her
And I just love how my aspects just straight up tell me to seek for a psychologist 😂
And thank you again for such an insight, it does make clear a lot of things to me ❤

Last edited by Number0; 03-29-2020 at 11:53 PM.
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Unread 03-28-2020, 12:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrysalis View Post
I'm still looking at your Neptune on your Ascendant. I think this is a big problem for you, I think besides being invisible to others, you also struggle with who you are as a person, you don't know who you really are, where your life is going or what you even want. Maybe you also find yourself consulting psychics for answers to these questions.

Using another technique would be the zodiacal degree of the zodiac placement your Neptune is placed in, which is Libra. So from this, it shows that you have the most Neptunian problems with relationships with others, which relates to what I said before of being misunderstood, you feel like you fade into the background, you feel like you need to please others to be noticed, etc, but I don't even think this would work with this placement. People just can't figure you out because of Neptune.

As Neptune is also the planet of deceit, do you feel like you get blamed for things you haven't even done?
Definitely
When searching more about the Neptune on Asc, one thing that really caught my attention was how people never see the person, or compare to someone else
This is something I started thinking about a few weeks ago actually
People aaalways compare me to someone, or tell me that the way I talk or my gestures remind them of someone. I've been told many times that despite knowing me for a long time, they can't tell anything about me, like they don't know me at all. Im always left out in lists, and people often don't notice that I'm absent 😁
When it comes to my Pisces in mars, I guess the good thing is that I don't have to stand up for myself a lot, as I almost never have conflicts, as I just feel how to talk to the person
And yes, I can't say for definite what I am, I change a lot, adjusting to the place, atmosphere and every person I meet, thats actually one way how I avoid conflicts as well 😅
Hmm, and with blame, I wouldnt say so? At least I can't remember anything like that happening to me before 👀
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Unread 03-28-2020, 12:54 PM
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Re: Constant despair.

That's interesting about you "adjusting" when in different environments and around different people, so your morph into whatever situation you are in to blend in. Which means you are never really being your true self, are you?
Do you even know what your true self is, with your Neptune on your Asc?
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Unread 03-28-2020, 01:21 PM
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That's interesting about you "adjusting" when in different environments and around different people, so your morph into whatever situation you are in to blend in. Which means you are never really being your true self, are you?
Do you even know what your true self is, with your Neptune on your Asc?
This is something i noticed quite recently, as I met a lot of new people during a short period of time, so it was a big contrast and yes, I just saw how I use completely different vocabulary, gestures, even have different views on things with each of these people, even if i meet these people on the same day, like in short period of time, so I dont think its a mood swing thing
This is also something I go through,I can't say for definite, sometimes I have short periods of time when I become truly sensitive and optimistic, but it can change to the complete opposite 🤷I know, sounds very confusing, i'm sorry 😅
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Unread 03-28-2020, 06:25 PM
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Re: Constant despair.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Number0 View Post
This is something i noticed quite recently, as I met a lot of new people during a short period of time, so it was a big contrast and yes, I just saw how I use completely different vocabulary, gestures, even have different views on things with each of these people, even if i meet these people on the same day, like in short period of time, so I dont think its a mood swing thing
This is also something I go through,I can't say for definite, sometimes I have short periods of time when I become truly sensitive and optimistic, but it can change to the complete opposite ��I know, sounds very confusing, i'm sorry ��
That's very interesting, the way you explain the chameleon type energy.

My lovely grand daughter has Neptune in Pisces in her 1st house. She is pretty sensitive. She cannot stand scary books or movies, at all.

One talent she has already is 'acting' out feelings or films. Like if she listens to a song from her favourite Disney movie, her face will perfectly mirror the feelings in the songs. She can portray sadness, fear, love, very believably. She does the facial expressions, the body language and really seems to feel the emotion herself. Quite an actress already.

And she is only 4 and a half. lol
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Unread 03-28-2020, 08:50 PM
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Originally Posted by katydid View Post
That's very interesting, the way you explain the chameleon type energy.

My lovely grand daughter has Neptune in Pisces in her 1st house. She is pretty sensitive. She cannot stand scary books or movies, at all.

One talent she has already is 'acting' out feelings or films. Like if she listens to a song from her favourite Disney movie, her face will perfectly mirror the feelings in the songs. She can portray sadness, fear, love, very believably. She does the facial expressions, the body language and really seems to feel the emotion herself. Quite an actress already.

And she is only 4 and a half. lol
As far as I did my research, having Neptune in 1st house is a good aspect, as the person understands their own nature much better than those with it on 12, so I believe it acts and will act positively on her
Maybe she will actually be very successful in acting or movie industry, if she already seems so naturally talanted 😄
And its very sweet how you talk of her, and notice such things, and her artistic abilities as well. She will definitely be very grateful for that when she grows older 😊 She's so sensitive, so the support you give her will absolutely not go unnoticed, I think it does impact us- strong Neptunians a lot 😄

Last edited by Number0; 03-29-2020 at 11:48 PM.
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Unread 03-29-2020, 01:03 AM
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Re: Constant despair.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Number0 View Post
I guess i said it in the title ��
If there's anyone, who's more familiar with astrology than me, i would very much appreciate any type of help trying to understand my chart. The thing is that my whole life (since like kindergarten) I've been struggling. The classic "quiet kid" in school, not having any person I truly trust, due to always noticing the ugly in people, poor relationships with family members, and so on. In fact, I always had "friends" in any school, uni, but it's always just a surface level friendship, and people often turn away from me, and I guess I do feel more comfortable alone in a way. Despite the fact that I think I'm over the "it's not a phase mom" age ��, with each year I'm literally becoming more and more helpless. Everything seems useless and I do not remember a day I was truly happy. It's like each morning I'm putting on black colored glasses that I'm looking through at the world. Everything that people around me seem to enjoy, doesn't mean anything to me, and in fact, I usually look at it and people in a cynical way. One thing I can say- I do feel better when succeeding academically, but even my academics have been suffering due to me being me, but I know I could do much better, as I easily deal with logical problems. So I guess trying to understand my chart is a way I'm subconsciously trying to understand myself, and trying to get out of this eternal circle of hate.
Perhaps there is something in my chart, which makes me that way?
My chart- https://pasteboard.co/J0V1dTY.png
This is one of the most Saturnian paragraphs that I've seen on this forum and that's saying a lot. Saturn has a lot of pulling power over your personality, to the point that it is kind of overwhelming.

You have Aquarius rising with Saturn ruling your Ascendant. Your Mercury is in Saturn ruled Capricorn and your Moon is tongue kissing Saturn. Saturn is in a sign of his own triplicty and he is very close to an angle, your IC in fact.

Your Saturn is occidental and retrograde, so he's going to be on the slow side...errr slower than usual actually. He's going to give hard gains in life and gives you an austere nature than can also make you pretty difficult to please and slow to come around. Saturn's whole modus operandi is saying "no" to things. When the planet that has the most sway over your "soul" as it were is a planet that rejects everything and everyone.....well you can kind of see where I'm going here. Saturn inclines to solitude and contemplation at best, isolation and misanthropy at worst.

Your academic skill is probably double edged. I say that for a few reasons. First Mercury and Saturn kind of have a weird partnership going on. Mercury rules Saturn and Saturn rules Mercury. Mercury-Saturn combinations can be contemplative and interested in obscure topics, but prone to fringe thinking. Mercury being so heavily influenced by Saturn like that can easily lead to melancholy, contrariness, and a critical nature. What's more is that Mercury is also very much influenced by Mars. Mercury is in Mars' sign of exaltation and is separating from a sextile with Mars. That could make you sharp and irritable.

Where this can become double edged is the fact that Mercury is in the 12th sign from the Ascendant, the house of sorrows, influnced by Saturn and Mars. This could easily be interpreted as mental affliction: depression, anxiety, mental discontent etc. You're contemplative but also prone to rumination, y'know sitting alone and thinking dark thoughts.

Moon in Gemini with Aquarius rising is a little on the light side by comparison. Not exactly social butterfly, but decent enough in regards to dealing with others. But that Saturnian gloom is always right there in the background.

Last edited by sworm09; 03-29-2020 at 01:06 AM.
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  #20  
Unread 03-29-2020, 11:42 PM
Number0 Number0 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sworm09 View Post
This is one of the most Saturnian paragraphs that I've seen on this forum and that's saying a lot. Saturn has a lot of pulling power over your personality, to the point that it is kind of overwhelming.

You have Aquarius rising with Saturn ruling your Ascendant. Your Mercury is in Saturn ruled Capricorn and your Moon is tongue kissing Saturn. Saturn is in a sign of his own triplicty and he is very close to an angle, your IC in fact.

Your Saturn is occidental and retrograde, so he's going to be on the slow side...errr slower than usual actually. He's going to give hard gains in life and gives you an austere nature than can also make you pretty difficult to please and slow to come around. Saturn's whole modus operandi is saying "no" to things. When the planet that has the most sway over your "soul" as it were is a planet that rejects everything and everyone.....well you can kind of see where I'm going here. Saturn inclines to solitude and contemplation at best, isolation and misanthropy at worst.

Your academic skill is probably double edged. I say that for a few reasons. First Mercury and Saturn kind of have a weird partnership going on. Mercury rules Saturn and Saturn rules Mercury. Mercury-Saturn combinations can be contemplative and interested in obscure topics, but prone to fringe thinking. Mercury being so heavily influenced by Saturn like that can easily lead to melancholy, contrariness, and a critical nature. What's more is that Mercury is also very much influenced by Mars. Mercury is in Mars' sign of exaltation and is separating from a sextile with Mars. That could make you sharp and irritable.

Where this can become double edged is the fact that Mercury is in the 12th sign from the Ascendant, the house of sorrows, influnced by Saturn and Mars. This could easily be interpreted as mental affliction: depression, anxiety, mental discontent etc. You're contemplative but also prone to rumination, y'know sitting alone and thinking dark thoughts.

Moon in Gemini with Aquarius rising is a little on the light side by comparison. Not exactly social butterfly, but decent enough in regards to dealing with others. But that Saturnian gloom is always right there in the background.
Thats a lot 👀 And thank you very much for your response! ❤ Astrology seems much more complicated than I expected 😁
"Saturn is in a sign of his own triplicty and he is very close to an angle, your IC in fact"- what would this exactly mean/give?
Also, would the fact that my asc is conjuct Neptune play any extra role, in a negative way i guess, with the strong Saturn energy in the chart? Because the planet on asc influences personality quite a lot as far as I know, and these two don't seem to be very harmonizing together 🙄
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  #21  
Unread 03-31-2020, 11:32 AM
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Zora Zora is offline
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Re: Constant despair.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Number0 View Post
I guess i said it in the title ��
If there's anyone, who's more familiar with astrology than me, i would very much appreciate any type of help trying to understand my chart. The thing is that my whole life (since like kindergarten) I've been struggling. The classic "quiet kid" in school, not having any person I truly trust, due to always noticing the ugly in people, poor relationships with family members, and so on.

In fact, I always had "friends" in any school, uni, but it's always just a surface level friendship, and people often turn away from me, and I guess I do feel more comfortable alone in a way. Despite the fact that I think I'm over the "it's not a phase mom" age ��, with each year I'm literally becoming more and more helpless.

Everything seems useless and I do not remember a day I was truly happy. It's like each morning I'm putting on black colored glasses that I'm looking through at the world. Everything that people around me seem to enjoy, doesn't mean anything to me, and in fact, I usually look at it and people in a cynical way. One thing I can say- I do feel better when succeeding academically, but even my academics have been suffering due to me being me, but I know I could do much better, as I easily deal with logical problems. So I guess trying to understand my chart is a way I'm subconsciously trying to understand myself, and trying to get out of this eternal circle of hate.
Perhaps there is something in my chart, which makes me that way?

Hello Number0,

odd - that you have chosen this name -as zero degree is birthpoint energy and transiting saturn just has entered zero degree aquarius -your rising sign and personal birth energy. suitable for a re-birthing as well.

You are still so young that it is very obviously that you could not have developped all you talk about yourself - but brought something with you you have experienced and witnessed already in your prenatal stage during pregnancy of your mother with you.

You are a very high sensitive sensed born person with high sensitive antennas for perceiving people and what they are dealing with under the surface even at first glance without telling a word - with both lights in aspect with neptune who is additionally also sitting on your ASC. Sun as your second part of your birth axis and 7th house ruler is in semisextile with your neptune and moon is in trine with neptune.

Saturn rules your 12th house - prenatal stage and the sadness you always feel - to me is something you took over from your mother - who had a hard time in her pregnancy with you and with her husband - your father. And felt herself completely alone. And was perhaps not healthy or kinda depressive in this time- as moon rules your 6th house - health house. And moon/saturn has a tendency for depression and sadness.

You might have felt yourself as guilty and responsible for - as a tiny little baby not able to sort in in correctly and took it false or misinterpreted over as yours.

Your gemini moonnode sits exact on house 5th - between both parents - 4th house mother and 5th house father - and looks like that you "were called" to get born to rescue their marriage - or kinda for intervention by distracting their attention from each other and their marriage and relationship.

That you felt yourself left alone very early as a child - is definitely shown as true in your chart with mercury representing both parents as ruler of 4th- mother and 5th father - and a mercury in 12th house - who is really none aspected and connected with the rest of your chart. Both parents were not of support to you - were not able to support you.

Both parents in contrary more applied to you and your feeling yourself early responsible and able to stay for your own early - jupiter in your 5th house - father semisextiles your saturn in conj. with your moon.

Strong self-hate is always a pluto aspect and your mars as ruler of your 2nd house - physical body existence and selfesteem is in square with pluto. And a very intense strong energy - also to defend yourself and your own territory - also 2nd house.

But mars is in close conjunct with lilith - the dark side of moon and dark emotions and you feel yourself not as worthy for anything. But this is not yours - it is caused by your parents and their marriage before your birth and that pregnancy of your mother was not welcomed for a certain reason and outer influence and circumstances.

But not you - yourself.

Pluto rules 9th house - environment, house of grandparents and house of religious faith. Was your mother not married with your father when she got pregnant - and felt herself not accepted and welcomed in the family of your father ?

Venus as ruler of 8th house - leaving descencants and genetic inheritance conjuncts chiron very close- the injury left in yourself and in your mind as an unwelcomed child who has to earn own existence by feeling responsible for all and to take and to carry all guilt of the whole family.

But it is not yours.

What were you told about your own birth and circumstances ?


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Last edited by Zora; 03-31-2020 at 11:41 AM.
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Unread 03-31-2020, 11:38 AM
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Re: Constant despair.

Your none-aspected natal mercury is actually still conjuncted by transiting jupiter as your 10th house and lifepath ruler until Oct 31st, 2020 to support you and your life path for a considerable change and turn-around for the better.
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Unread 03-31-2020, 04:21 PM
kshantaram kshantaram is offline
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Re: Constant despair.

Asc lord sat with moon-rahu NNode gemini, hyper-analytical,
international economics/business analysis, acting skills,
foreign instrumental music, sense of humor,
sat 3rd good initiative n progress,
rahu 4th tending to foreign lands;

rise-fall in life, prayers for ancestors,
observe fast No-moon evenings,
wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;

ketu separative SNode sag 10th, hyper-ambitious and impulsive;
pain-injury-surgery knees-thighs etc,
career-job changes;
prayers to Christ, offer red flowers thurs mornings at alter at home;


Acq asc, mystic, airy, uncertain, reformist, innovative;

Lords 1/7 sat-sun over cap-gemini 6/8 unfriendly lords sat-mer,
conflict in relationships;



sun-mer-venus cap, literary-oratory-medical-orthopedics aptitudes,
event management, etc; venus lord 9th for luck over 11th for gains;
sun lord 7th over 11th for gains through corporates-govt-social elite;
sun-venus appreciation of beauty, but reserved;

venus combust, need zinc supplements for vitality, relationships;
wear 0.25 carat diamond over platinum pendant touching heart;
venus 11th gains from women, arts, pharma,


jup lord 11th elevated sensitive cancer 5th,
gains from education, educational shares, advisory-teaching roles;

mars lord 9th for luck over pisces 1st, volatile emotions, tending to distant lands,
technical aptitudes, marine-water-chemical engg etc,


currently jup-sat-ketu transit sun-mer-venus cap, economy,
detachment from income-gains-friendships-relationship etc
pain-injury-surgery arms-shoulders-ears-knees-heart-stomach-kidneys-skin etc
ketu next transits natal ketu sag 10th;

Rahu transit jup cancer, vitiating mind, judgment, heightened sensitivity, delayed foreign education, etc
rahu next joins natal moon-sat-rahu gemini;

hope inputs enable relate and pick as relevant, share how true-insightful-helpful,
traits-talents-health-life trends-remedies-ideas to pick, etc


wishing you well, kshantaram
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  #24  
Unread 03-31-2020, 04:36 PM
Number0 Number0 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zora View Post
Your none-aspected natal mercury is actually still conjuncted by transiting jupiter as your 10th house and lifepath ruler until Oct 31st, 2020 to support you and your life path for a considerable change and turn-around for the better.
I'm actually veery surprised rn😶 My parents never really told me a lot about my birth, but only once, ages ago, I was told that I was, pretty much unwelcomed, and my birth was under a question, without any details though. During this time my parents were married, but they had a fragile relationship as much as I was told. And yes, the relationship between my parents families was, and still is- quite conflicting
And regarding what you mentioned about mars-pluto, is just exactly spot on 👀
Thank you so so much for the insight ❤ im pretty much in a light shock with how accurate it is 😁 And i really hope that turn will happen soon

Last edited by Number0; 03-31-2020 at 05:02 PM.
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  #25  
Unread 03-31-2020, 04:55 PM
Number0 Number0 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kshantaram View Post
Asc lord sat with moon-rahu NNode gemini, hyper-analytical,
international economics/business analysis, acting skills,
foreign instrumental music, sense of humor,
sat 3rd good initiative n progress,
rahu 4th tending to foreign lands;

rise-fall in life, prayers for ancestors,
observe fast No-moon evenings,
wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;

ketu separative SNode sag 10th, hyper-ambitious and impulsive;
pain-injury-surgery knees-thighs etc,
career-job changes;
prayers to Christ, offer red flowers thurs mornings at alter at home;


Acq asc, mystic, airy, uncertain, reformist, innovative;

Lords 1/7 sat-sun over cap-gemini 6/8 unfriendly lords sat-mer,
conflict in relationships;



sun-mer-venus cap, literary-oratory-medical-orthopedics aptitudes,
event management, etc; venus lord 9th for luck over 11th for gains;
sun lord 7th over 11th for gains through corporates-govt-social elite;
sun-venus appreciation of beauty, but reserved;

venus combust, need zinc supplements for vitality, relationships;
wear 0.25 carat diamond over platinum pendant touching heart;
venus 11th gains from women, arts, pharma,


jup lord 11th elevated sensitive cancer 5th,
gains from education, educational shares, advisory-teaching roles;

mars lord 9th for luck over pisces 1st, volatile emotions, tending to distant lands,
technical aptitudes, marine-water-chemical engg etc,


currently jup-sat-ketu transit sun-mer-venus cap, economy,
detachment from income-gains-friendships-relationship etc
pain-injury-surgery arms-shoulders-ears-knees-heart-stomach-kidneys-skin etc
ketu next transits natal ketu sag 10th;

Rahu transit jup cancer, vitiating mind, judgment, heightened sensitivity, delayed foreign education, etc
rahu next joins natal moon-sat-rahu gemini;

hope inputs enable relate and pick as relevant, share how true-insightful-helpful,
traits-talents-health-life trends-remedies-ideas to pick, etc


wishing you well, kshantaram
Thank you so much, and wishing you well too! ❤
Okay, there is a lot 😁 what I found very interesting is the foreign education/country part, as I got my degree recently, and I didn't get it in my home country, and lived abroad for a few years 👀
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