Trouble with others

I was wondering if my chart could hold a clue about how to get past my tendency to be very self-critical and afraid of the consequences of interacting with others. I try to be confident and sometimes I do feel it, but always lurking is the feeling that everyone is going to find out I am a fraud and destroy me, because I believe I am not good at anything or worth much.

Lately, any kind of praise or attention sends my stomach into knots and I have an urge to dive under furniture. My coworker's notice when I do anything outside their expectations, and that scares me, so I try to stay within the lines at work to keep them from making trouble.

Almost every time I end up in a position where I am highly visible to others, I am destroyed - either internally by my own criticism or sometimes purposefully by others (of course, I think about this whenever I post words on the Internet, which is why it can take hours to compose anything).

Saturn opposed Asc, square Venus in the 4th, with Venus square Asc seems a big indicator of this dynamic; and it's connection through rulerships to the sun/Merc - moon opposition, square Pluto. However I have not looked at where a positive outcome might come from it. I am unsure how to interpret that way. It appears my chart (posted in signature) indicates I should be driven underground.

I actually have a very similar problem! When I receive any attention positive or negative, I start doubting, having self-critical thoughts, and fears that others will destroy me.
I have very little experience with chart reading, but I noticed some similarities in our chart!
The big one being Venus in Virgo. Venus (planet of relationships) being in analytical, perfectionist Virgo; leading to some self-criticism and anxiety in relationships.
Then I also noticed that just like me, you have an opposition between your sun and your moon - meaning an opposition between your ego and emotions.
And also, an opposition between Moon and Mercury! - meaning an opposition between emotions and the rational mind. So there's a lot of inner conflict there already, leading to insecurity.
But we also both share a conjunction between the sun and Mercury, so ego and rational mind/communication are working together well, but when divided from emotion - which can skew them both.
But you also have a retrograde Mercury, which may influence your communication! As well as many other retrogrades. So that is something to look into as an influence.
Maybe look towards your Mercury for guidance. You have a Mercury-Pluto square, which indicates a bit of an obsessed mind, according to AstroMatrix. http://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Mercury-Square-Pluto#/
A transformation of the negative qualities or shadows qualities may need to take place, meaning translating your perceived weaknesses into strengths or areas for growth.
To potentially resolve that, look at the trines you have at your disposal in your Mercury. The Mercury-Jupiter Trine is called "the Translator" http://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Mercury-Trine-Jupiter#/, meaning a high level of comprehension and creativity. So that gives the potential to translate or re-invent perceived negative qualities into positives things. You may think about how even the fear of being a fraud may be transformed into something else, into a desire for authenticity and sincerity, for instance.
Your Mercury-Saturn Trine "The Businessman" (http://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Mercury-Trine-Saturn#/) also indicates this need for authenticity in its description. And certainly with a Mercury in Leo in House 3 (House of Communication), there is a desire for honest and bold self-expression that may shake others.
You also have a Venus-Saturn square that can explain difficulty relating to others: http://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Venus-Square-Saturn#/
But using your trine gifts of Translating/Transforming Meaning, and the creative, organizational, and disciplined qualities of the Businessman, as well as the need for authenticity and honesty, you can challenge negative notions about yourself and others. The fear of not being good enough could indicate a desire to always keep improving or a desire to be of quality.
Like I said, I have very little experience reading a chart, I'm amateur at it, but this is what I have interpreted.

Hi Flapjacks,

I have always thought that you were dealing with a prominent Saturn placement as well as anybody could and I know about having a prominent Saturn. Because of my own life experience I think the positive side of your Saturn-Neptune-Pluto aspect could be that you are very good at thorough research and perseverance, staying with a project to a satisfactory conclusion.

People are going to notice you says the Full Moon in your chart shining it's light on you. You must have demonstrated a level of knowledge exceeding that of your peers in your environment and with Saturn prominent your projection is likely one of calm, steadfast confidence. This leads others to value your input and thus turn to you for leadership.

While they see you as rock solid, you (programed by early life experience) mostly feel the negative side of those aspects. That prominent Saturn is on the midpoint of your Neptune and Pluto - there are 2 sides to every coin and you describe secretly feeling the negative side while others are picking up on the positive side you choose to project outwardly.

The past is passed, you cannot change it but the future is yours to direct according to your determination. Look at where you are. Your position says you are a success.

Mind is the builder. Your mind - your control. You go!

ZoraEos said:

I actually have a very similar problem! When I receive any attention positive or negative, I start doubting, having self-critical thoughts, and fears that others will destroy me.
I have very little experience with chart reading, but I noticed some similarities in our chart!

Click to expand...

Thank you for the interpretation, Zora! I don't pay much attention to the Mercury trines (trines are easy to forget when they bring an effortless energy). Thank you for pointing that out; and your reading was very good. Now you have me curious about your chart!

unique_astrology said:

Hi Flapjacks,

I have always thought that you were dealing with a prominent Saturn placement as well as anybody could and I know about having a prominent Saturn. Because of my own life experience I think the positive side of your Saturn-Neptune-Pluto aspect could be that you are very good at thorough research and perseverance, staying with a project to a satisfactory conclusion.

People are going to notice you says the Full Moon in your chart shining it's light on you. You must have demonstrated a level of knowledge exceeding that of your peers in your environment and with Saturn prominent your projection is likely one of calm, steadfast confidence. This leads others to value your input and thus turn to you for leadership.

While they see you as rock solid, you (programed by early life experience) mostly feel the negative side of those aspects. That prominent Saturn is on the midpoint of your Neptune and Pluto - there are 2 sides to every coin and you describe secretly feeling the negative side while others are picking up on the positive side you choose to project outwardly.

The past is passed, you cannot change it but the future is yours to direct according to your determination. Look at where you are. Your position says you are a success.

Mind is the builder. Your mind - your control. You go!

Click to expand...

Your encouragement sticks with me, I hope you know. Thank you for all your kind words.

I've never seen myself as a follow-through. Perhaps too much cardinal influence. I tend to be the sort that starts things and gets disinterested if it doesn't move quickly enough or to satisfaction at all times.

"Past is passed" is hard to swallow.