AquarianRising
Well-known member
[Saw this a moment ago on another site while looking for information to make a point on a thread and just about choked on my laugh. The guy didn't list a source on his post, so if you know where it's from, please do post it.]
Pisces has often been called the dustbin of the zodiac. Mental hospital is a closer description. On your trek around the karmic wheel, you've not only picked up everyone else's bad habit, you've managed to forgo most of the good ones.
You are as obtuse as Taurus, anal as Virgo, and as wishy-washy as Libra. You blather as much as Gemini and Sagittarius put together, but your conversation is limited to instant replays of all the boring details of your crisis-laden life. When you want something you can knock down more little old ladies than an Aries fighting to be first at a Macy's white sale. You are as freaked-out as Aquarius, obsessed as Scorpio, and whiny as a Cancer with a sore throat. Your penchant for theatrics makes the most flamboyant Leo look reticent, and your opinion of yourself is higher than that of a Capricorn who's just foreclosed on a Swiss bank.
You also have the special-to-you-alone gift for viewing life from a perpetually unworkable slant. You are so afraid of conflict that you would rather eat worms than confront a problem. But that's fine with you because it gives you the excuse to lie on the coach all day, flipping the remote and sighing.
The clich? of the lights are on but no one's home was no doubt first used to describe a Fish. You will fade out in the middle of commuter traffic going seventy, wake up in the next town, and have absolutely no idea how you got there.
Every Pisces is addicted to something. The obvious dangers are booze and drugs. However, serial romances, food, TV, and excessive sleep are also ways you avoid dealing with reality. You are probably a lifetime member of every organization with anonymous in the title.
Pisces have every psychological and psychosomatic illness known to man and participate in medical research trials more often than any other sign. You love the attention and use the twenty-five dollars to buy wine. You are so afraid of confrontation that trying to carry on a conversation with you is like talking to a bobble-head doll You can't make a decision, no matter how inconsequential, and have the social presence of a doormat. But, you do hate to see suffering. That's why you wear dark glasses.
Your favorite TV shows are the Jerry Lewis Telethon and the PTL Club. You love to cry along with fellow Fish Jerry, and to self-righteously bash those lacquer-haired televangelists.
As the last sign of the zodiac, you've walked in every other sign's shoes at least once.
And slept in all their beds. You charm the pants off anyone -- literally. However, you are so reality-challenged that you don't want a life, you want a movie.
Pisces make good actors, faith healers, vice cops, savants, and drag queens. You are also psychic; however, you are so self-absorbed that the only future you care about is your own.
Yo don't do realism. Instead you prefer to view life from either your internal set of rose-colored glasses, or from a state of altered consciousness. Either way, you drift through the years with your head in the sand, preferring your fantasies and dragging behind you an endless line of losers you call family and friends. But that's OK with you, since it gives you an excuse to drink and cookiemonster.
You are the chameleon of the Universe, and the shades of every other sign flutter through your soul. Because you are so acquiescent and hate conflict, you are invariably underestimated. Once you learn to quit underestimating yourself, that quality is precisely what will give you the edge over every other sign.
Pisces has often been called the dustbin of the zodiac. Mental hospital is a closer description. On your trek around the karmic wheel, you've not only picked up everyone else's bad habit, you've managed to forgo most of the good ones.
You are as obtuse as Taurus, anal as Virgo, and as wishy-washy as Libra. You blather as much as Gemini and Sagittarius put together, but your conversation is limited to instant replays of all the boring details of your crisis-laden life. When you want something you can knock down more little old ladies than an Aries fighting to be first at a Macy's white sale. You are as freaked-out as Aquarius, obsessed as Scorpio, and whiny as a Cancer with a sore throat. Your penchant for theatrics makes the most flamboyant Leo look reticent, and your opinion of yourself is higher than that of a Capricorn who's just foreclosed on a Swiss bank.
You also have the special-to-you-alone gift for viewing life from a perpetually unworkable slant. You are so afraid of conflict that you would rather eat worms than confront a problem. But that's fine with you because it gives you the excuse to lie on the coach all day, flipping the remote and sighing.
The clich? of the lights are on but no one's home was no doubt first used to describe a Fish. You will fade out in the middle of commuter traffic going seventy, wake up in the next town, and have absolutely no idea how you got there.
Every Pisces is addicted to something. The obvious dangers are booze and drugs. However, serial romances, food, TV, and excessive sleep are also ways you avoid dealing with reality. You are probably a lifetime member of every organization with anonymous in the title.
Pisces have every psychological and psychosomatic illness known to man and participate in medical research trials more often than any other sign. You love the attention and use the twenty-five dollars to buy wine. You are so afraid of confrontation that trying to carry on a conversation with you is like talking to a bobble-head doll You can't make a decision, no matter how inconsequential, and have the social presence of a doormat. But, you do hate to see suffering. That's why you wear dark glasses.
Your favorite TV shows are the Jerry Lewis Telethon and the PTL Club. You love to cry along with fellow Fish Jerry, and to self-righteously bash those lacquer-haired televangelists.
As the last sign of the zodiac, you've walked in every other sign's shoes at least once.
And slept in all their beds. You charm the pants off anyone -- literally. However, you are so reality-challenged that you don't want a life, you want a movie.
Pisces make good actors, faith healers, vice cops, savants, and drag queens. You are also psychic; however, you are so self-absorbed that the only future you care about is your own.
Yo don't do realism. Instead you prefer to view life from either your internal set of rose-colored glasses, or from a state of altered consciousness. Either way, you drift through the years with your head in the sand, preferring your fantasies and dragging behind you an endless line of losers you call family and friends. But that's OK with you, since it gives you an excuse to drink and cookiemonster.
You are the chameleon of the Universe, and the shades of every other sign flutter through your soul. Because you are so acquiescent and hate conflict, you are invariably underestimated. Once you learn to quit underestimating yourself, that quality is precisely what will give you the edge over every other sign.
