Just want to share an update 10 years later:
1.) I met up with Redwolf when he came to my city years ago. He wasn't successful in finding his girl. Well, he did eventually find her, but her boyfriend and friends kept blocking anything, so no meeting occurred. But he eventually moved on and found the same type of plutonian attraction in 2 other girls.
So for him, it was not a once-in-a-life-time thing, it happened again. It's just when the Pluto-Venus attraction occurs, it feels that way. But reality isn't so. It seems to be a pattern for him which I attribute to Venus oppose Pluto in his chart. I think the first time hits the hardest because that's during the first pluto transit.
2.) For me, 10 years later I started thinking about all this (the guy and the old situation) all over again and couldn't stop. I haven't thought about it for ages and years. I checked my transit and found SATURN was at the exact same spot PLUTO was at about 10 years earlier, in my chart.
Saturn is all about learning lessons, structure, foundations and coming full circle. And for some reason during that Saturn transit everything just came full circle for me and I just knew...
What I learned and discovered was that the problem in that "fated attraction" wasn't me. Although I agonized over it, suffered and thought something was wrong with me for years after it. The real problem was him (PLUTO). Since relationship are based on a combined effort of two healthy people, there was nothing I could have done to have a healthy outcome.
Everything occurred due to his insecurity, lack of trust, fear and inability to be vulnerable. Hence he over-compensated by doing push/pull games in a desperate need for power and control.
Did he feel the same way? Yes. But feeling that meant vulnerability, and it terrified him because it made him feel powerless. The push/pull games were driven BECAUSE he felt the same intense attraction, not due to disinterest or in spite of it.
A healthy relationship is always a two way street, you can't have one person working for it in a direct manner, and someone else playing underhanded games to gain power and control. They may not be conscious of it at the time or may seriously believe it's justified, but the result is that real love and trust gets destroyed in the process. And I (THE VENUS) ends up feeling insecure, completely destroyed and thought something was wrong with me for years afterwards.
I also consulted a psychic and a tarot card reader.
The psychic told me he had really liked me (I was surprised because I never knew that for sure), but he wanted to possess (Scorpio sun) and wanted to do things his way (control, mind games). The reason he never reached out was due to ego and pride (Scorpio again), even though he never forgot me for 10 years.
The tarot card reader told me the reason he became this way (learned to manipulate) was because of a relationship that happened long before I was ever in the picture. And it sort of set the foundation and shaped his young adulthood. A girl destroyed him. Possibly pathological. And he became like that ever since to avoid it happening again. (Understandable, and also so very typical Scorpio.)
So a couple of learning lessons and takaways 10 years later with the benefit of hindsight:
1.) If you are past the Pluto transit cycle (about 2 years), I highly recommend you consult a good psychic or tarot card reader for answers the specific person cannot/or is not willing to give you. It gives you perspective and some level of closure independently.
2.) Irrespective of the emotions involved, toxicity is toxicity to your life. Pluto-Venus will act differently depending on each person's natal chart and the transit involved. It taught me that I made the right decision to cut things off back then. I don't regret it all at. I only regret not doing it faster and hanging in there too long. What was ultimately sad was that I never needed to suffer for so long afterwards thinking it was my fault, and replaying what I could have done differently, but in reality it wasn't.
Pluto is ultimately a deeply selfish planet. All this person had to do was communicate and reach out, even for a couple of minutes, and it would have saved me years of doubting myself and the life consequences that branched out from there.
Real love isn't selfish. Real love means empathy and sacrifice for others despite inconveniences to self. And at least this person and this transit, was not real love for me -- NOT BY A LONG, LONG, LONG SHOT.
3.) Regardless of how people treat you, its your choice what to do about it. We are all shaped by our past experiences. But will you adopt a more careful, cautious, but still open approach that filters out the unhealthy, or a fearful, offensive approach that's entirely one-sided?
I understand that my Scorpio sun guy got "destroyed" due to a girl years before me, and learned to be the one pulling the strings (and not be the one getting hurt)..there are more healthy ways to approach things, and love and relationships are not a zero sum game.
While there are tons of "bad guys" in this world, the way this Scorpio approached it is from a fearful position, which also destroys the potential good out there that are innocent. All the tactics and moves ensured he gets all the power, and the "partner" has none, all because of one bad experience. There is no thought and consideration of the long-term consequences and harm it may cause to the other party. (How is this real love?)
Most important, games, power, and control are no way to build the foundation for a real relationship. I don't know what type of healthy person can thrive in that environment, but I do know the long-term result can't be good.
My plutonian has Pluto and Saturn in the 7th. In his lifetime he is meant to learn to share power.
Ultimately though, his issues are not my concern and I am not equipped to handle it. My job is to look within and make the best of myself; understand why I felt the compulsive need to be attracted (codependency? need to merge and save?) and thus grow independently to stand on my own two feet psychologically and emotionally.
4.) For me strangely, the 2 years of Plutonian suffering has also made me really strong. In the 10 years afterwards, there's been multiple other crisis. But having walked through the fire of the first soul destruction, nothing ever compared to that one and no other crisis ever really scared me much after that. I guess in a strange way the first time you feel like you've been broken into a million pieces, and had to resurrect yourself for years afterwards, nothing quite breaks you again. You don't fear much when you've already been at your lowest. Anything else that happens in life you can always compare it with the pain you have survived.
I think I'll close from here. I sincerely hope it helps someone else in a similar situation.
