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  #1  
Unread 10-06-2017, 08:30 AM
Amit89 Amit89 is offline
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Why's my father so negative?

So many times when I was a teenager and even now, he would tell me:

-Getting married at 28 is late
-Every man gets married at 25
-You cannot get a women if you are single at 29
-He doesn't accept me getting married between 30-32, he's just not willing accept it
-He says if I'm single at 30, all the 20 year old females will be gone, what about the females aged between 25-31?
-EVEN when I was 21, he would tell me to get married by 26, I felt uncomfortable, I felt he was controlling me.

It's acceptable in my culture to marry at that age, even females in my culture are getting married at 31.

Once again, he really is not willing to accept me getting married between 30-32, doesn't he want me to be happy?

i've told him I'm looking to pay for my own wedding, even then, does he think I'm going to be rejected by every female?

When my sister goes out, and she's an 27 year old independent adult, he cried last time because he is afraid of what people think of him.

I will never understand his mindset, I feel he must not value me or he must listen to what other people have to say about me including his brothers.

So why?

He is the Moon is in the 7th of other people, quincunx venus, mars, opposing the 11th lord of social circles, he is trine the 4th lord of family. Maybe he just listen's to what other people have to say about me and he believes them?

I am debilitated, but I have mutual reception with mercury and I have Jupiter in my house.

Your comments appreciated
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Last edited by Amit89; 10-06-2017 at 09:06 AM.
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  #2  
Unread 10-06-2017, 09:36 PM
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moonwitch moonwitch is offline
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Re: Why's my father so negative?

Hi Amit89:

A very short answer after a very quick look:

Your father's significator (4th house - traditional astrology) is Saturn and it is located conjunct the fixed star Ras Alhague, which is said to give misfortune through women. So perhaps your father had a bad experience and he's worried for you?

https://astrologyking.com/ras-alhague-star/

As well, Saturn would indicate someone who is very concerned with tradition. The fourth house is also concerned with one's "roots" (one's ancestors and family traditions). So it looks like he might be a traditional guy struggling to cope with modern ideas.

Also I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he doesn't value you, it could be from his point of view this is how he shows he cares for you.


Cheers.


Last edited by moonwitch; 10-06-2017 at 09:41 PM.
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  #3  
Unread 10-07-2017, 05:36 PM
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rafaella rafaella is offline
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Re: Why's my father so negative?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amit89 View Post
So many times when I was a teenager and even now, he would tell me:

-Getting married at 28 is late
-Every man gets married at 25
-You cannot get a women if you are single at 29
-He doesn't accept me getting married between 30-32, he's just not willing accept it
-He says if I'm single at 30, all the 20 year old females will be gone, what about the females aged between 25-31?
-EVEN when I was 21, he would tell me to get married by 26, I felt uncomfortable, I felt he was controlling me.

It's acceptable in my culture to marry at that age, even females in my culture are getting married at 31.

Once again, he really is not willing to accept me getting married between 30-32, doesn't he want me to be happy?

i've told him I'm looking to pay for my own wedding, even then, does he think I'm going to be rejected by every female?

When my sister goes out, and she's an 27 year old independent adult, he cried last time because he is afraid of what people think of him.

I will never understand his mindset, I feel he must not value me or he must listen to what other people have to say about me including his brothers.

So why?

He is the Moon is in the 7th of other people, quincunx venus, mars, opposing the 11th lord of social circles, he is trine the 4th lord of family. Maybe he just listen's to what other people have to say about me and he believes them?

I am debilitated, but I have mutual reception with mercury and I have Jupiter in my house.

Your comments appreciated
Reading your post makes me think your father is a product of his own country and culture and having moved to a Western Country, he is clinging to his roots even more, this is normal for many migrants from very different cultural backgrounds. People lose their identity somewhat when they move to a new location with very different values beliefs, culture etcc...Cultural shock happens. Some cant assimilate quickly enough and look down on anything that is different from their own religion or culture.

You being raised in the West, you perhaps had to adapt to different values and beliefs, the ones at home and the ones you gain from school/work/friends etc. He is negative because he sees you not adapting to what he thinks is right to do according to his/your cultural background. Yet he doesn't see the fact that you are an independent thinker and want to do what is right for you rather than pleasing family and others in his sphere.

Is your sister married? I assume not?

The chart shows square between Venus/Mars and Saturn. As the square is an applying one, the tension will continue. Also he may not approve of your relationship choices. Saturn in 3rd house with mutual reception with Jupiter, suggests he has better connection with your siblings. Perhaps most of them oblige him? (you have more than one sibling?).

Moon in detriment of Saturn and opposes Sun and Mercury, so that's the issue in regards to marriage and arguments that you write about. BTW are you the only son he has? Perhaps because you are the one to carry his family name and tradition forward, he is extra harsh on you.
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  #4  
Unread 10-07-2017, 07:39 PM
Amit89 Amit89 is offline
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Re: Why's my father so negative?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rafaella View Post
Reading your post makes me think your father is a product of his own country and culture and having moved to a Western Country, he is clinging to his roots even more, this is normal for many migrants from very different cultural backgrounds. People lose their identity somewhat when they move to a new location with very different values beliefs, culture etcc...Cultural shock happens. Some cant assimilate quickly enough and look down on anything that is different from their own religion or culture.

You being raised in the West, you perhaps had to adapt to different values and beliefs, the ones at home and the ones you gain from school/work/friends etc. He is negative because he sees you not adapting to what he thinks is right to do according to his/your cultural background. Yet he doesn't see the fact that you are an independent thinker and want to do what is right for you rather than pleasing family and others in his sphere.

Is your sister married? I assume not?

The chart shows square between Venus/Mars and Saturn. As the square is an applying one, the tension will continue. Also he may not approve of your relationship choices. Saturn in 3rd house with mutual reception with Jupiter, suggests he has better connection with your siblings. Perhaps most of them oblige him? (you have more than one sibling?).

Moon in detriment of Saturn and opposes Sun and Mercury, so that's the issue in regards to marriage and arguments that you write about. BTW are you the only son he has? Perhaps because you are the one to carry his family name and tradition forward, he is extra harsh on you.
Thank you both for your replies, I appreciate your analysis very much.

I agree wholeheartedly to both of you, tradition could play a big part of this.

No my sister is not married and their is only my sister has a sibling and I'm his only son.

It's funny how he accepts my sister to get married at 30, but not me.

It's true about everything you say, however, I cannot understand why my father has such a problem with me getting married between 30-32, I mean, I'm not going to ruin the family's name and I'll eventually get married, perhaps sooner, than later, could be 30, could be 31.

Once again, he accepts my sister getting married at 30 and he isn't that negative to her but he cannot even accept me getting married at 30! I'm 28 and 30 is 2 years away!

A lot of people in the community and social circle do criticise me (for no reason) and if you look at my other threads, I've had a very hard time with my uncle, aunt's.
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Unread 10-07-2017, 07:44 PM
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Re: Why's my father so negative?

I read this as a natal chart, by mistake, but I will still let that stay because it still seems valid to me.
------------------------------------------------
Hi,

You have to learn to overlook his faults and yourself stay positive with and about him!!

He is set in his ways and you canNOT change him. Accept that, firstly.

He is not really negative, but dogmatic.

The Sun is in detriment in Libra and is in an aspect to Pluto, so he is controlling. A Libra Sun lays a lot of stress on marriage and partnerships. I know that you do, too.

I think there is stress between your parents as well. Also, your mother is very high-strung and also rather domineering.
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Unread 10-07-2017, 08:14 PM
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rafaella rafaella is offline
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Re: Why's my father so negative?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amit89 View Post
Thank you both for your replies, I appreciate your analysis very much.

I agree wholeheartedly to both of you, tradition could play a big part of this.

No my sister is not married and their is only my sister has a sibling and I'm his only son.

It's funny how he accepts my sister to get married at 30, but not me.

It's true about everything you say, however, I cannot understand why my father has such a problem with me getting married between 30-32, I mean, I'm not going to ruin the family's name and I'll eventually get married, perhaps sooner, than later, could be 30, could be 31.

Once again, he accepts my sister getting married at 30 and he isn't that negative to her but he cannot even accept me getting married at 30! I'm 28 and 30 is 2 years away!

A lot of people in the community and social circle do criticise me (for no reason) and if you look at my other threads, I've had a very hard time with my uncle, aunt's.
This is really interesting how he treats you both so differently! Usually Indian parents are concerned with getting their daughters married earlier than their sons. ( I assume you are from India, because of your name). Perhaps its something different about your own family or your father specifically.

2 years is a not a longtime, he will just have to accept this. And for you just 2 more years of negativity hopefully.

BTW do you have a girlfriend? Moon in 7th, and recent Venus/Mars conjunction...looks very recent interest or relationship with someone. If you do have someone, look out! Saturn (father) will not be happy.
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