Where do you look in natal chart to see which sign is your best love match?

Osamenor

Staff member
You don't. Contrary to popular belief, compatibility isn't determined astrologically. Relationship dynamics can be, but who's compatible with you depends on what kind of relationship dynamics you want. And it's not as simple as "this sign yes, that sign, no." It takes long, complex looks at both charts to figure out the likely dynamics.

If you're only looking at your own chart, your seventh house gives a very general sense of the kinds of personality traits a good partner for you would have. That doesn't tell us what their astrological chart would look like, although it's very common for people to be especially attracted to people whose charts in some way reflect their seventh sign. Maybe your seventh is their rising sign, or sun sign, or moon sign, or they have planets in it. Maybe they have your seventh house ruler on their ascendant. Something like that.
 
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The19thLaw

Well-known member
You don't. Contrary to popular belief, compatibility isn't determined astrologically. Relationship dynamics can be, but who's compatible with you depends on what kind of relationship dynamics you want. And it's not as simple as "this sign yes, that sign, no." It takes long, complex looks at both charts to figure out the likely dynamics.

If you're only looking at your own chart, your seventh house gives a very general sense of the kinds of personality traits a good partner for you would have. That doesn't tell us what their astrological chart would look like, although it's very common for people to be especially attracted to people whose charts in some way reflect their seventh sign. Maybe your seventh is their rising sign, or sun sign, or moon sign, or they have planets in it. Maybe they have your seventh house ruler on their ascendant. Something like that.

I see and for that you really need birth times if anything.

So it seems like the opposite of your ascendant is what would win you over.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
I see and for that you really need birth times if anything.

So it seems like the opposite of your ascendant is what would win you over.

In a way, but that doesn't necessarily mean the person "is" that sign.

I'll use myself as an example: my seventh is Cancer. More of the people I've dated, or even had crushes on, have been Cancers than any other sun sign. But not all. My longest lasting relationship was with someone who has nothing at all in Cancer. But he has Taurus rising and a Taurus Moon in his first house. In that way, he reflects my seventh house.

To him, I'm something similar: I have nothing in Scorpio, which is his seventh (except my north node), but I have a busy eighth house, which has some similarity to Scorpio energy.

I've also found that Cancer placements are very common among my friends, if I know their birth charts. Probably more than just random probability would suggest.

And then there's the traits that seventh house of mine describes. Cancer is a very nurturing sign, and I know this about myself: nurturing is something I really need from a partner. I also tend to draw people into my life, romantically and otherwise, who reflect some form of Saturn (the one planet I have in the seventh, and they reflect it in a Cancerian way) or my Sagittarius Moon, or both.
 

The19thLaw

Well-known member
Funnily enough, I have a 7th house Saturn too but it is in Aquarius. Looking back at it, I do seem to attract interest from Aquarius women and Pisces women. The pisces part explains a lot since I have a 12th house stellium.

What caught me off guard is that I tend to be interested in Sagittarius women for some reason but had no luck there socializing or attracting them. Then I looked at my chart and it is my 5th house ruler and my 5th house is empty, I also have no Sag in my chart.

It seems though that even having a Leo stellium (fellow fire sign right?) is not enough to make up for the lack of connection to Sagittarius.

They do say the stars don't compel so there is that but it does get me. I am not that interested romantically in Aquarius women and tend to love a girl of more of a fellow fire sign. I seem to occasionally get a Leo or Aries woman who is into me.

Funny thing is I have friends, all guys, who are Sags but I don't seem to draw in the women as much. It's an odd case.

Then again, I notice it is not often I see Leo men and Sag women together, it kind of breaks the stereotype of compatible elements.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
Funnily enough, I have a 7th house Saturn too but it is in Aquarius. Looking back at it, I do seem to attract interest from Aquarius women and Pisces women. The pisces part explains a lot since I have a 12th house stellium.

What caught me off guard is that I tend to be interested in Sagittarius women for some reason but had no luck there socializing or attracting them. Then I looked at my chart and it is my 5th house ruler and my 5th house is empty, I also have no Sag in my chart.

It seems though that even having a Leo stellium (fellow fire sign right?) is not enough to make up for the lack of connection to Sagittarius.

They do say the stars don't compel so there is that but it does get me. I am not that interested romantically in Aquarius women and tend to love a girl of more of a fellow fire sign. I seem to occasionally get a Leo or Aries woman who is into me.

Funny thing is I have friends, all guys, who are Sags but I don't seem to draw in the women as much. It's an odd case.

Then again, I notice it is not often I see Leo men and Sag women together, it kind of breaks the stereotype of compatible elements.

Keep in mind that unless you've done someone's birth chart, you probably only know their sun sign. Very often, the connection, or lack thereof, shows up in something other than sun sign.

Even the examples I shared are greatly simplified. It's really quite complex.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
Great so there is hope for me to spend a night one night with a fine Sagittarius woman.

Well, traditionally, the fifth house indicates short term flings. There is that. :wink:

Seriously, I expect that no matter what kind of birth charts your partners have, they all show you Aquarius, in some sense. Maybe you tend to draw in very quirky, unconventional people. That's an Aquarian trait. Maybe there's something unconventional about the way you do relationships. Maybe you draw in truth sayers: people who'll tell you the truth about yourself, like it or not, and keep you on your toes.

Maybe you need a lot of personal space in your relationships. Aquarius can indicate that, and you mentioned a twelfth house stellium. Twelfth house correlates with a need for privacy and personal space. The more placements you have there, the more likely it is that even in the closest possible relationship, you still need some privacy from your partner.
 

Bunraku

Well-known member
Why do you need to?
You can look at (or talk to ) a woman and get a pretty good idea if you’re attracted to them or not...
and if you go on a few dates you can tell if you get along with them or not

Unless you live in an arranged marriage society where these things don’t apply.
 

Kintpuash

Banned
4th House 7th House 10th House rulers of your chart and synastry aspects to them. Even Mars and Saturn can find the love match they want that way.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
Why do you need to?
You can look at (or talk to ) a woman and get a pretty good idea if you’re attracted to them or not...
and if you go on a few dates you can tell if you get along with them or not

Unless you live in an arranged marriage society where these things don’t apply.

That's exactly what matchmaking astrology was designed for. The astrologers would look for signs that the two could live together harmoniously and, because one of the main raisons d'etre for marriage was having children, they would also be looking for signs that the couple would be fertile together. The astrologer would probably be looking at the charts when the couple in question knew each other barely or not at all.

The modern approach to pairing up is very different. It all hinges on getting to know each other personally, and intimately, before you even consider marriage... if you do. Having children is often a secondary consideration: the couple relationship comes first.

So we do some different things with astrology now. It's less useful for scoping out people you don't know yet, I would say, and more useful for exploring the nuances of a relationship that already exists. Which is why I refuse to do that kind of astrology for relationships that are brand new or aren't even relationships yet, just crushes. When you're still getting to know the other person, you should get to know them, not the map to them.
 

Bunraku

Well-known member
I think astrology can be dangerous in that regard, because it can give you preconceived notions and judgments before meeting someone.

I understand that people can discern things from a chart, but this approach isn’t very healthy or productive when trying to enter relationships because these things require openness and communication rather than a set of assumptions.

(In a liberal western viewpoint aka American)
 

Osamenor

Staff member
I think astrology can be dangerous in that regard, because it can give you preconceived notions and judgments before meeting someone.

I understand that people can discern things from a chart, but this approach isn’t very healthy or productive when trying to enter relationships because these things require openness and communication rather than a set of assumptions.

(In a liberal western viewpoint aka American)

Exactly.

In an arranged marriage culture, some of those preconceived notions might be useful, simply as a way to narrow down the possibilities. If you're not even going to meet your spouse until the wedding day (as has often been the case), you don't get a chance to get to know them until you're already committed. Under those circumstances, the get to know them with no preconceived notions approach isn't feasible.

But in that case, the bride and groom would probably not have the preconceived notions communicated to them. The astrologers would check the charts of a few possible matches and tell the families, "This one looks like the best match, that one could also work," without necessarily explaining why. The average person would know little or nothing about astrology and would just take the astrologers' word for it. Along with other considerations, like money and property and family alliances.

So by the time the couple start getting to know each other, the filtering has already been done for them and now they're free to get to know each other, and not burdened with the preconceived notions that you would have if you'd consulted an astrologer about a nascent relationship on your own behalf.

And in arranged marriage culture, the expectations for the relationship are not as high. There's no expectation that your spouse will be your best friend or your soul mate or that you'll even be in love with them. They're the person you run a household with and have children with. You have to get along with them well enough for that, but beyond that, it really doesn't matter.

So in modern Western culture, we're judging relationships with different criteria. You can try to use astrology to filter out your matches with those criteria, but it doesn't work very well. That's not what it's designed for, and as you point out, entering a relationship with preconceived notions can be a hindrance to actually relating.
 
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Kintpuash

Banned
4th House 7th House 10th House rulers of your chart and synastry aspects to them. Even Mars and Saturn can find the love match they want that way.


The houses ruled by mars and venus will tell you what you look for and attract. Look at houses that your natal mars and venus are to see where attraction and 'got your back' meet.



4th house ruler of each's home life and familiarity - traditions and family ways - has to be present in harmony. How people deal with birth and life death and dying.



10th house ruler - 'does other make me look good or bad?'



The moon in each's chart will tangle all of the above up, unless each's moon is harmony with the others in each others chart.


Looking for love based on astrology seldom works out. Handling love when you find it is what astrology works best at.
 

The19thLaw

Well-known member
So how does this house ruler thing work?

Say my Venus is in the 12th house and Mars in 10th house

Mars = Gemini

Venus = Leo

12th house seems to be in Cancer, 10th in Taurus (MC)
 

wan

Well-known member
Do you mean in general or for myself? For myself, I always look at the 4th house. Usually I am very attracted to Geminian traits (not necessarily sun sign geminis), more so than my 7th house. For some strange reason, I am not hugely attracted to people with Piscean influence (my ascendant is Pisces).
 
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The19thLaw

Well-known member
I think it is less about what you are attracted to versus who will find you and stumble into your life. Like you can be attracted to whatever but circumstances and the way life plays out dictates a lot of who you end up with.

On dating apps, I notice a ton of my matches are Aquarius.
 

wan

Well-known member
I see what you mean now. You meant what kind of people we tend to attract into our lives. And yes I can see why you attract so many Aquarian women--you have Aquarius on your 7th.


I think it really makes sense. I have Saturn conjunct my descendant and I do seem to attract as well as be attracted to Capricorns. Very interesting.
 
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Osamenor

Staff member
So how does this house ruler thing work?
Each sign has a planetary ruler. The ruler of the sign a house's cusp is in rules that house.

Say my Venus is in the 12th house and Mars in 10th house

Mars = Gemini

Venus = Leo

12th house seems to be in Cancer, 10th in Taurus (MC)
Moon rules Cancer. Venus rules Taurus. That would make Moon the 12th house ruler and Venus the 10th house ruler.

Planets do not rule the house they're in unless a sign they rule is on its cusp.

The ruling planet is like a property owner. He might live at the property he owns, but more often than not, in an astrological chart, he lives somewhere else and rents it out (or leaves it empty).
 
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