Trigger warning: Mental health and oversharing.
English is not my first language, sorry if I make any mistakes. I accept criticism.
I recently learned about the solar return stuff and read that having the sun in the 12th house can be bad? I don't really understand to be honest.
I have a feeling that this year is going to be tough. My mental health has always been bad but lately, it's becoming worse. Last night, I called the suicide hotline. No one answered lol, kinda thought that was a lil funny.
I’m rather worried about my future because of my grades. They weren't as bad as I expected, probably because my teachers are generous at giving grades, but I feel like I could've done better. All my friends got honours for this semester, and I got nothing.
When my mum asked for my card, I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. I knew that she expected more but she said that it didn't matter as long as I didn't get a line of 70 on my card. But deep down, I know she's disappointed.
I always feel like I should be doing more but I don't know. I can't even focus on one thing without getting distracted.
Other kids my age have already achieved so much and I feel like I’m falling behind. Time is moving so fast, and I feel like I’m stuck. I feel like a failure.
I frequently get thoughts like "should I just give up?" but then, I think about my mum and all of the things she has done for me. Even though we're not that close, I love her so much. I want to repay her. Give her all the things she wants, but I can't cause, unfortunately, I'm still a kid.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed by my schoolwork and deadlines, I'd start doing art or would start writing. I try perfecting my art and writing but I always end up feeling unsatisfied and I abandon the project. I'd eventually forget about time and all of my hours for the day is gone and I ignored my academic responsibilities and missed the deadline.
I have no idea why I'm like this. I want to seek help and go to a therapist, but I'm worried about money. I also don't want to tell my mother because she already has problems of her own and telling her that I want to go to a therapist would only add to her stress. I’d it if someone could explain why I'm like this.
I'm including natal chart, and SR just in case.
English is not my first language, sorry if I make any mistakes. I accept criticism.
I recently learned about the solar return stuff and read that having the sun in the 12th house can be bad? I don't really understand to be honest.
I have a feeling that this year is going to be tough. My mental health has always been bad but lately, it's becoming worse. Last night, I called the suicide hotline. No one answered lol, kinda thought that was a lil funny.
I’m rather worried about my future because of my grades. They weren't as bad as I expected, probably because my teachers are generous at giving grades, but I feel like I could've done better. All my friends got honours for this semester, and I got nothing.
When my mum asked for my card, I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. I knew that she expected more but she said that it didn't matter as long as I didn't get a line of 70 on my card. But deep down, I know she's disappointed.
I always feel like I should be doing more but I don't know. I can't even focus on one thing without getting distracted.
Other kids my age have already achieved so much and I feel like I’m falling behind. Time is moving so fast, and I feel like I’m stuck. I feel like a failure.
I frequently get thoughts like "should I just give up?" but then, I think about my mum and all of the things she has done for me. Even though we're not that close, I love her so much. I want to repay her. Give her all the things she wants, but I can't cause, unfortunately, I'm still a kid.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed by my schoolwork and deadlines, I'd start doing art or would start writing. I try perfecting my art and writing but I always end up feeling unsatisfied and I abandon the project. I'd eventually forget about time and all of my hours for the day is gone and I ignored my academic responsibilities and missed the deadline.
I have no idea why I'm like this. I want to seek help and go to a therapist, but I'm worried about money. I also don't want to tell my mother because she already has problems of her own and telling her that I want to go to a therapist would only add to her stress. I’d it if someone could explain why I'm like this.
I'm including natal chart, and SR just in case.