In need of great guidance and wisdom

Hello everyone! I have been looking alot in this website lately and I find all of you an extreme wealth of information and support.

I have found the courage to ask of you to help me in very personal and difficult problem that is currently occuring in my life. I am very torn between my head and my heart and need answers to confirm things to make possibily life changing decisions.

If anyone out there could help me, I would be forever indebted

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/190/astro61gw0117medude5121.gif/
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/820/chart.pdf/

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/708/astro61gw0111medude1504.gif/
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/201/chart1.pdf/

hello daisy,

welcome to the board. it would help if you could at least provide a little bit of background info on your issue. is it kids, love, career, money? you don't need to completely disclose your problems, but a bit of background will be very helpful and also increase the chances of a helpful response.

Thanks bittermoon

Well, to make a long story short, I have been in a relationship that has been extremely up and down with periods of intermissions and constant threats of quitting everything but we keep continuing. Big part of the reason, our son. As you will see from our chart we have a serious double moon whammy and it's predictable us having a child together. But this relationship is difficult. I don't know anymore if this is the right thing for us, if we can ever be happy, if it has any hope anymore.
Hence the second guy.. I didn't start giving up hope until something I have been negating with everything in my being tells me I could potentially be happier with someone else.
I don't want to ruin my son's, my partner's and my life, I just don't have alot of strength anymore.
I hope this clears things up a little bit! ;-)
Thanks in advance, I really appreciate it from the depths of my soul!

..anyone out there??

Thanks again,

Maybe I am being a little vague

I have been looking into this for the last month or so I guess, quite profoundly, as profound as my level of astrology is. I have read everything on astro.com, and have a pretty good idea of the 2 situations. I guess what I'm asking / looking for is someone that can read the charts quite professionally, and really delve into the matter.

What I mean by that is karmic influences, stelliums, grand trines, the north and south nodes, chiron, etc.

Maybe explaining my situation better will help as well.

Like I said before, I have been in an on and off rollercoaster relationship for the last 5 years of my life.. within months of meeting I was pregnant and we have a son together. I live in a foreign country far from everyone and his family, including himself, have become my family here. But this relationship has been HARD. It's like there is never constant rest, but at the same time we absolutely can't leave each other. And it's not just for our son, it's because every time we separate we get back together. And I truly believe neither of us is happy, but we just seem to be unable to separate.

I met someone half a year ago, whom I've actually known for 2 years. I am an extremely faithful person and haven't looked at another person, even when I was separated, nor thought about being with someone else. This was the only person, that physically, or intuitively, has ever made me turn my head. Something happened 6 months ago, and since then it's like I can't get this person out of my head. We are like 2 magnets, and everytime we see each other, I intuitively see and feel him. I try to stay away from him, but for some reason we just are drawn to each other. It's like walking into a crowded room and he will always be ( and vice versa ) the first person I see.

With my partner we have a double moon whammy, and also in our composite the moon is in the 7th house. From what I have understood for certain reasons, there will always be problems between us. And then we have saturn square the north node? Does this mean it's karmic?

With this other guy we have a stellium in the 1st house, we have sun opposed pluto and moon conjunct pluto (synastry) and his moon is in my 4th house. His saturn is conjunct my descendant and my sun in his 7th house, as well as my venus in his 8th. We also have saturn opposed the north node.. and from what I gather as well the chiron is not well placed meaning hurt?

I guess my question is, what man is actually the right person for me? Is this other guy just a fling? We don't have anything together because I keep pushing against it. But is there really something serious going on? Can it ever work with my partner?

I really am quite confused, and having saturn in the 3rd house, I need to get things figured out, because my head and my heart are driving me crazy!

Can you see the charts I posted, or should I post other ones?

Thanks again for your time!!!!

To me you are professionals, and by professionals I mean someone who can help me clarify and clear up and make sense of this confusion..

Thanks a million

thumbs up for the wind in ptolemy's sail.

IleneK, thanks so much for your help, I really do appreciate whatever you could do for me, it means alot!

Ptolemy
You have just scared the **** out of me
And, I would prefer sitting in a garden with you anyday and keeping Venus away

But seriously, I am going to have David Bowie in my head for the rest of the day, and it has just begun.

So what you're saying is that this is just a big ol grand illusion. That's Neptune, questioning everything and making me dream of something more than what I already have. (Which is not the happiest and also definitely not stable) How long has it been in transit for me? This began in November. And to be honest, there is no love affair, but it's like a kink in my brain that just doesn't go away, and trust me, I have been pushing it away and holding onto reality as much as I possibily can. I guess like holding onto a buoy in the middle of the ocean waiting for the storm to pass so I can swim back to land.

But I've been hanging on, as much as my world has been rocked, and my dometic life as well. Which, I also keep hanging on to, for fear that this 'guy' is just an illusion. (Thank god for intuition).

But that's also what scares me. November is fated??? There are 2 ways out?? A baby or a committment that makes me happy?? My guy1, my partner, desperately wants to have another child. And I desperately DON't. I don't trust it, being these last 5 years have been a wave of highs and lows and never a calm sea. Someone (1 of the 2) will make me happy??? With my partner this has been the logo for the last 5 years, 'It's time for us to be happy!' ... but we never really are.

Ohhh so much more confused than before. But your warning is one I definitely cannot forget. lol. And one I for sure will have in mind until November. But I still can't make any more sense of what the problem is with my boyfriend (guy1), and definitely don't want the illusions to come crashing down with 'guy', because in this game of life it's not just me, but my son, his grandmother, his uncle, his grandfather, etc, etc. Serious stuff.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart. A big huge virtual hug for you!!

Ptolemy,
what would you do? I believe you can see right through this, but maybe I should clear something up.

The relationship I am in has also been abusive, none of the people I have confided in in my personal life believe I should be with him, but I stay with him anyway.
I have been told our synastry is horrible, that we will never be happy together.
As much as an illusion this other guy could be, you're right, it's rocked another feeling way deep down in myself, but that feeling was started by him, and not by me. I have been pushing it away for my serious relationship for the last 6 months. But the first time I saw him was 2 years ago, and literally turned my head. I am good at blocking things out that I don't want disrupting my life or things I don't want to think about.
I have been told our synastry is passionate, intense, long, and stable.
I'm still quite shaken up today, lol.
But I didn't completely 100 % understand what you were trying to say to me today, I can take it in a couple of context.

hmmm, so what I am living currently is thus my fate? I think I've also understood ptolemy and Irene you haven't *maybe* wanted to say anything that sways my free will decisions.. ?

Telling people what to do and "advising people" based on your knowledge and experience are two different things.... as you put it - it's up to them when it comes to making a choice and the road they chose to follow (their free will)...

If she couldn't figure out this part on her own or maybe she's anxious about it (which is normal) - this being an important decision (life changing - if you will)... it's only natural that she'd ask for advices - and based on the options at hand she'd choose one which she find more appropriate for her condition.

===

No daisy - that's not your fate... the way you put it sounded like "karmic fatalism" - which could imply that "you chose to be unhappy" - thinking that the Universe wants you to live your life like that... no daisy, Karma is not about that and here's a quote that can explain what that means:

"Karmic Fatalism" is directly contrary to what karma means to teach. Karma means to set up the circumstances in your life that will challenge you to transcend them and not to accept them (which is what fatalism gets you to do). Karma challenges you to manifest health, wealth, and happiness while fatalism causes you to accept the lack of all these. Simply put, mastering karma makes you powerful while being fatalistic keeps you powerless.

Click to expand...

When it comes to Karma and astrology - the North Node should reveal your karmic challenge for this life, wile the South Node can show the place you feel comfortable - and what you need to change (a detailed description...).

Your North Node is in Leo / house 12 and South Node in Aquarius / House 6 - maybe somebody could help with a accurate interpretation - cause I'm still new at this... but i know it's a good place to start - if you're in a pursuit for happiness - which applies to all aspects of your life (relationship - as well, goes without saying).

My answer is that I do not like to tell people what to do.

Click to expand...

I know - and this line alone - "Telling people what to do and "advising people" based on your knowledge and experience are two different things.... as you put it - it's up to them when it comes to making a choice and the road they chose to follow (their free will)..." - from my previous quote is my opinion about that. ^^

I didn't say you're talking about karmic fatalism but the way she expressed her perception about fate - sounded like that and that's nobody's fate... I've seen other people who are unhappy - and chose to go on like that believing that's their fate (which is exactly what "karmic fatalism" means).

Ach, I hate it when that happens! I just wrote an extremely long reply and then my computer froze.

I just wanted to say thanks again for the responses, and apologize for my late response. I have been going through a really tough time, and been thinking and contemplating heavily about everything in my life.

I have seen that Ptolemy's words have been taken off the thread, that's a shame.

7th guardian, thank you for your words. I really was just looking for help to explain alot of the why questions that I have in regards to the synastry's between both. Karmic fatalism, destiny, fate... I am a person who for my whole life has followed lifes signs and my intuition... something which I have often felt alone in.. not many people, and sometimes not even I understand why I have done the things I do, other than something inside me saying that it's intuitively right. Insofar that I wound up on the other side of the world following what something inside of me has said. As for lifes lessons, I believe everything 'bad' that happens in life, is inevitably a good lesson, things to learn from that teach us something, and never bad in the end. It's only bad how we take it.

Irene, I also completely understand that you don't believe in telling people what they should or shouldn't do. I am also someone who doesn't listen to what people tell me to do I take everything into account, and follow what my intuition tells me.

On that note, I was just wanting to understand my relationship with my partner better. I know it was my fate to meet him, to have a child together.. but it's hard. We just spent 2 hours crying together today. I have been extremely emotionally distant this last month. Almost cold. I can't take the heaviness anymore. And I don't know anymore if that's what a relationship should be, or if things should just naturally go smoothly. Every little thing is always such a big deal.

And as for the other guy. I intuitively turned my head as he passed me by 2 years ago. And what happened between us 6 months ago (this Neptune square Venus in Gemini transit started at the beginning of Feb), felt.. or feels, extremely emotionally deep, and that disturbs me, as I am an intuitive person, and cannot for the life of me understand why.

As for the Neptune transit, I natally have Neptune in the 5th house. So maybe? it's not that unusual for me. I have been really thinking and delving into this, and wondering about the effects of Neptune, and wondering if maybe Neptune sometimes can dissolve things for a good reason, to bring your soul to something that's better for it..

Thanks again everyone for your time and your words. They have been a big help.