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  #76  
Unread 02-24-2020, 07:54 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

Yeah pedigrees would get stolen. Lots of cats are street tough enough to survive but it depends on the location too. Did your cat change from being outdoors to indoors by itself? She sounds wild but hilarious would have kept Pixel on his toes!

I think a large enough garden would do, cottages in the countryside normally have large gardens and for the horse and donkeys then buying a field would probs do. Rescue a cow too because they’re so cute.

The pet sanctuary idea is probs retirement age, after a career as a teacher, until then I’d like to rent somewhere with a private garden for the cats. Where I live now is in the centre of everything and it’s very handy for what I’ve needed while studying and working.

Do you live in the countryside? For some reason I imagine you do. You do like hiking and camping.


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  #77  
Unread 02-24-2020, 08:53 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

My current cat I bought as a kitten and decided to keep her indoors because like you i didn't completely feel safe letting her outside. Never had an outdoor cat act like this one, but yes, she delights me with her antics.

Would hate to hijack your excellent topic of 5D Inspiration so I have a question for you.

Do you feel like this is one more achievement in life? When I discovered Buddhism you quickly learn the goal there is Enlightenment. A state which you already possess but need years of meditation to realize. Afraid I've been largely disappointed. (In enlightenment not meditation.) Is 5d another state full of promises of

your heart is filled with great love, oneness, and lightness, more than you experience in the 4th dimension.

your mind-body will be offered to work inside the newest fastest computer that operates smoothly at the speed of light!

your open to trusting the constant effortless flow of life in each moment

you drop your negativity, smallness, powerlessness, incompetency, and poverty consciousness. You will release all your old heavy baggage youíve been carrying for lifetimes!

Instead of it taking months or years in psychotherapy for your karma to dissolve it will take minutes or seconds!

Colors of the world will be brighter and you will hear the divine song of creation.

Time will feel fluid, eternal and illusory

Being an old soul (literally) I'm excited by the promise but also a bit weary.

What are your thoughts?

MD
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  #78  
Unread 02-25-2020, 09:05 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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Originally Posted by Moondancing View Post
My current cat I bought as a kitten and decided to keep her indoors because like you i didn't completely feel safe letting her outside. Never had an outdoor cat act like this one, but yes, she delights me with her antics.

Would hate to hijack your excellent topic of 5D Inspiration so I have a question for you.

Do you feel like this is one more achievement in life? When I discovered Buddhism you quickly learn the goal there is Enlightenment. A state which you already possess but need years of meditation to realize. Afraid I've been largely disappointed. (In enlightenment not meditation.) Is 5d another state full of promises of

your heart is filled with great love, oneness, and lightness, more than you experience in the 4th dimension.

your mind-body will be offered to work inside the newest fastest computer that operates smoothly at the speed of light!

your open to trusting the constant effortless flow of life in each moment

you drop your negativity, smallness, powerlessness, incompetency, and poverty consciousness. You will release all your old heavy baggage you’ve been carrying for lifetimes!

Instead of it taking months or years in psychotherapy for your karma to dissolve it will take minutes or seconds!

Colors of the world will be brighter and you will hear the divine song of creation.

Time will feel fluid, eternal and illusory

Being an old soul (literally) I'm excited by the promise but also a bit weary.

What are your thoughts?

MD
Talking about cats is high-vibe and nothing can hi-jack 5D, especially nice, human conversations because we aren't ascended or anyting so it would be wrong to not show we are people with things in common. I did hesitate whether to include a post about shadow work but it's important to not feel shame over anything and most of us will only catch glimpses of 5D. It's all part of the journey

Here is a quote from Eckhart Tolle which what your question -



I experienced what I refer to as my brain malfunctioning after a sleepless night of intense thinking. A friend later said it sounded like Satori. IT lasted for about 18 hours and I most noticed it while I was in an environment with a large group of people and could just feel their innocent chitter chattering energy, as opposed to feeling scared/angry/threatened/anxious. So I have an idea of what it is like to be free from ego and fear, and when my brain first malfunctioned in the early hours, I suddenly just wanted to raise my arms and praise the lord, which I did do for a few minutes.

Unless I had been trying to rationalize my trauma, it would never have happened. But it's just happened once and didn't last. You suck yourself back into a hole eventually. The last few months, I have came off my anti-depressants, stopped smoking, I'm currently spring cleaning and went that beautiful walk, meditating recently. My vibe is very peaceful atm. The satori experience was two years ago so I was back in a hole again but slowly working through my shadow/issues/ego.

I don't want to try get satori again by malfunctioning my brain on purpose, far too impulsive to do anything purposely, but I DO remind myself to be present and enjoy the moment, which is a realistic, achievable thing to do. I'm sure I will be in a hole again, some people live their entire lives in one, but doing shadow work has eventually left me able to function more normally. Without trauma or feeling unloved, I would never have had to dig inwards or look to the universe for it.

At least we are aware of what life is about and not some person who has no idea what shadow work and is chasing something ego-related. That anyone becomes aware of such topics is a sign of 'grace.'

We have evolved from being mindless murderers, being murdered, seeking an ego lifestyle like thinking money or being a psychopathic CEO etc. We have been there, done that and are now learning grace. Being aware of 5D and have the courage to look at your shadow is really sacred enough.

Maybe I will get depressed again, I am still fairly young, maybe I will get an awful painful or terminal disease, but hopefully I will be able to stay present but if not then wafting through the (puppy excrement), a bit like The Shawshank Redemption, eventually leads to more clarity. One thing that never changes is that for people like you and me who think about this stuff, is that we are even spiritual.

Even after the walk the other day when I got myself worked up later that night, I think that was like poison purging from my soul or my psyche wasn't used to feeling so present and connected to nature that it wanted to try poison me with the feeling of hurt and anger again. The technique of being present helped to bring me back. As did the Matthew 5 bible quote about forgiveness. Grace is a real thing, if only we face our fears first.

It's really beautiful enough to just be around 5D things and knowing it exists.
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Moondancing (02-27-2020)
  #79  
Unread 02-27-2020, 01:07 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

Suffer consciously, first I've heard that concept but it does ring true with other ideas I've learned and my experience with suffering.

Definitely can get lost in the stories we attach to our pain. Ego can sure make a mess. Helped me a lot to realize the satisfaction I felt from my resentments, anger and self-pity. Realized it didn't serve me well to hang on to these little payoffs and surrendered them. Darn, it takes way too long to figure this stuff out. "Instead of it taking months or years in psychotherapy for your karma to dissolve it will take minutes or seconds!" Now they tell me. lol

Let Go Let God is a powerful force. Learning to sew, being so engaged in creating garments, I didn't have time to create painful stories. There's that wisdom of youth listening to their higher self. Sometimes I think of the Adam and Eve story where they were warned not to eat the apples or they will suffer. Once I started thinking how others hurt me and it wasn't supposed to be that way, it was downhill from there. I took a bite out of the apple. :-)

Once I had made a pledge that if it took me til my last breath I would know Enlightenment. Guess I best set aside my weariness, there is still more to discover on my spiritual path. Maybe that is why your post attracted me.

Last couple days my cat has had her sights set on a new perch to try and reach. She finally made the leap on her first try. Thought for sure she had decided it wasn't doable but I was wrong.

IMG_5108.JPG

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  #80  
Unread 02-28-2020, 07:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moondancing View Post
Suffer consciously, first I've heard that concept but it does ring true with other ideas I've learned and my experience with suffering.

Definitely can get lost in the stories we attach to our pain. Ego can sure make a mess. Helped me a lot to realize the satisfaction I felt from my resentments, anger and self-pity. Realized it didn't serve me well to hang on to these little payoffs and surrendered them. Darn, it takes way too long to figure this stuff out. "Instead of it taking months or years in psychotherapy for your karma to dissolve it will take minutes or seconds!" Now they tell me. lol

Let Go Let God is a powerful force. Learning to sew, being so engaged in creating garments, I didn't have time to create painful stories. There's that wisdom of youth listening to their higher self. Sometimes I think of the Adam and Eve story where they were warned not to eat the apples or they will suffer. Once I started thinking how others hurt me and it wasn't supposed to be that way, it was downhill from there. I took a bite out of the apple. :-)

Once I had made a pledge that if it took me til my last breath I would know Enlightenment. Guess I best set aside my weariness, there is still more to discover on my spiritual path. Maybe that is why your post attracted me.

Last couple days my cat has had her sights set on a new perch to try and reach. She finally made the leap on her first try. Thought for sure she had decided it wasn't doable but I was wrong.

Attachment 84388
She looks pleased with herself! It does look like a high perch, looks a great, natural setup for a cat! Iíll take a photo tomorrow if the cat tree I have. Just spent hours defurring it this week and theyíre all gladly enjoying it again, apart from a few hisses and growls about who gets the top spot before they settle down.

I guess because I believe in reincarnation that I think enlightenment might not be achievable this lifetime but itís a process but I also donít want to use it as an excuse to incur more karma or replaying the same themes in the next life.

I asked a knowledgable spiritual man on a group about how to escape karma. He recommended a mantra HU, and some books and websites. He said basically that meditation and forming a relationship with the inner master is how to do it, but you canít do it by just thinking about it, your inner master has to do it once you are more in one with him than your outer master.

Suffering consciously feels good when youíre on top of things. But it being tested is a different story. Iím back in touch with a guy I liked a few months ago and everything (even his best friend) is telling me heís a player and only wants one thing, I did a horary about it too. But I think itís me and Iím attaching myself to these Ďpainful storiesí like how he isnít to be trusted and isnít being there for me, itís my daddy issues and I know I should relax and just see what happens. He digs his heels in if I ask too much of him and it scared him away the last time. He becomes distant which made me even more fiery, so Iím trying to remain calm and let it play out. So far so good. Trying not to bite the apple, your words have come in very handy again.

Itís told me that even though Iíve made progress by myself and while Iíve been on my own, when it comes to interacting with someone I really like, there is progress to be made in letting go. Although people who havenít had much love in their lives do tend to act more intense which is a rock and a hard place situation. So this is a test for sure. Even if it doesnít work out, I want my actions to be ok. Hormones, a guy I really, really like and mercury retrograde make that pretty hard though.
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  #81  
Unread 02-28-2020, 09:50 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

I haven't found a version of this song I like on youtube yet, so thought I would just post the lyrics. I love this song because it captures the feeling of grace when you finally are conscious about the suffering and then you love the wretched parts because it brought you to grace. And then also being thankful that God/consciousness created this whole journey.

Amazing Grace lyrics

Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see.
'Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear,
And Grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils, and snares
I have already come.
'Tis Grace hath brought me safe thus far
And Grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me.
His Word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures.
When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we'd first begun.
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There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious" - Carl Jung

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  #82  
Unread 02-28-2020, 10:12 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

'Suffer consciously' is such a great phrase that it was meme time -



Came across this a couple of days ago and it reminded me of your beagle

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  #83  
Unread 03-01-2020, 12:30 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ukpoohbear View Post
I haven't found a version of this song I like on youtube yet, so thought I would just post the lyrics. I love this song because it captures the feeling of grace when you finally are conscious about the suffering and then you love the wretched parts because it brought you to grace. And then also being thankful that God/consciousness created this whole journey.

Amazing Grace lyrics

Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see.
'Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear,
And Grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils, and snares
I have already come.
'Tis Grace hath brought me safe thus far
And Grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me.
His Word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures.
When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we'd first begun.
This is one where the background has a 5th dimension theme, imo.

Thinking that me or anyone else is a wretch never sat well with me. Christians have always had the nack of using harmful words to define people who suffer. Wicked, undeserving, etc. come to mind. But I do feel you've expressed the inspiration of this song well. :-)

Thank you for the star idea. *When the clouds clear and I can see stars again, I'm going to select one for my pup Rusty. *

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_c...ature=emb_logo
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Unread 03-01-2020, 12:44 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

"Ask and it shall be given to you" Luke 6:38

Discovered this short audiobook 'Thinking From Imagination' that is free. There are 10 chapters and you'll find all of them on his channel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxGFzyyOSrQ

fifthdimensionimage2.jpg

"The physical world will only become clear to us once we can see it as a sort of mirror. It is a place that reflects back to us the inner concepts of our individual minds."

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  #85  
Unread 03-02-2020, 06:47 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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This is one where the background has a 5th dimension theme, imo.

Thinking that me or anyone else is a wretch never sat well with me. Christians have always had the nack of using harmful words to define people who suffer. Wicked, undeserving, etc. come to mind. But I do feel you've expressed the inspiration of this song well. :-)

Thank you for the star idea. *When the clouds clear and I can see stars again, I'm going to select one for my pup Rusty. *

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_c...ature=emb_logo
Yes I know what you mean, the authoritarian fear-mongering is really off-putting. Then you get those religious, or even authoritarian types in general, having to wear a mask for fear of putting a foot wrong. Bring overly righteous is a sure warning sign right??

Have you ever seen the movie Pollyanna? It reminds me of the church scene in it when the minister is acting authoritarian -

'Death comes unexpectedly' - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpUBKw6i538

And then Pollyanna, our 5D girl spreading cheer, changes the town with her positivity and 'glad game,' -

The Glad Game - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ihxyf7A1hg

Have you seen the film Chocolat with Johnny Deep? He plays a gypsy in it and is outcasted by the village and its overly righteous priest, but the chocolatier owner and her daughter slowly turn things around and the priest ends up passing out eating so much chocolate when Lent finishes

Lots of 5D movies

It also shows the importance of shadow work and how wearing a mask of happiness is just as unhealthy as being outwardly negative is. So there was a real purpose in posting about shadow work in this thread and how its 'ok to not be ok,' and accepting you are not ok is the beginning of suffering consciously

Choosing a star for Rusty sounds like a good way to still feel close, he is undoubtedly still around you, in between flying around space full of freedom and feeling like a puppy again

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Unread 03-02-2020, 07:01 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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Originally Posted by Moondancing View Post
"Ask and it shall be given to you" Luke 6:38

Discovered this short audiobook 'Thinking From Imagination' that is free. There are 10 chapters and you'll find all of them on his channel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxGFzyyOSrQ

Attachment 84412

"The physical world will only become clear to us once we can see it as a sort of mirror. It is a place that reflects back to us the inner concepts of our individual minds."
Started listening to the video, he sounds like a cool guy. So far it is outlining the importance of embodying what you seek to desire and letting your imagination guide you.

"Once you believe in yourself and your dream, you will mentally melt together with the stronger version you need to be in order to realize your dream."
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Unread 03-02-2020, 11:37 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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Originally Posted by Ukpoohbear View Post
Started listening to the video, he sounds like a cool guy. So far it is outlining the importance of embodying what you seek to desire and letting your imagination guide you.

"Once you believe in yourself and your dream, you will mentally melt together with the stronger version you need to be in order to realize your dream."
This book is a gem. I could cry looking back from 68 yrs old and remember what I dreamed and then accomplished. Thing is I didn't need this book, my instinct trusted my visions. This book is a good reminder for me now as I wonder "what next"? Might be time to manifest living in the moment, just being. That would be a significant accomplishment. :-)

Wonderful quote, UK.

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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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Yes I know what you mean, the authoritarian fear-mongering is really off-putting. Then you get those religious, or even authoritarian types in general, having to wear a mask for fear of putting a foot wrong. Bring overly righteous is a sure warning sign right??

Have you ever seen the movie Pollyanna? It reminds me of the church scene in it when the minister is acting authoritarian -

'Death comes unexpectedly' - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpUBKw6i538

And then Pollyanna, our 5D girl spreading cheer, changes the town with her positivity and 'glad game,' -

The Glad Game - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ihxyf7A1hg

Have you seen the film Chocolat with Johnny Deep? He plays a gypsy in it and is outcasted by the village and its overly righteous priest, but the chocolatier owner and her daughter slowly turn things around and the priest ends up passing out eating so much chocolate when Lent finishes

Lots of 5D movies

It also shows the importance of shadow work and how wearing a mask of happiness is just as unhealthy as being outwardly negative is. So there was a real purpose in posting about shadow work in this thread and how its 'ok to not be ok,' and accepting you are not ok is the beginning of suffering consciously

Choosing a star for Rusty sounds like a good way to still feel close, he is undoubtedly still around you, in between flying around space full of freedom and feeling like a puppy again
My dominate shadow is being a perfectionist. Use to put all my focus on perfecting others but someone pointed out that I might want to start with myself. When I saw the huge task ahead of me I knew the world would have to wait. :-) Probably why I look to Jesus and Buddha, they represent the right solutions but impossible goals as I unceasingly look for a better way.

There is a danger for those who don't have a good self-esteem doing shadow work. A prerequisite might be learning to love yourself otherwise the deep work can be overwhelming and can make you feel worse. I use to beat myself up terribly.

MD
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Unread 03-05-2020, 05:35 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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My dominate shadow is being a perfectionist. Use to put all my focus on perfecting others but someone pointed out that I might want to start with myself. When I saw the huge task ahead of me I knew the world would have to wait. :-) Probably why I look to Jesus and Buddha, they represent the right solutions but impossible goals as I unceasingly look for a better way.

There is a danger for those who don't have a good self-esteem doing shadow work. A prerequisite might be learning to love yourself otherwise the deep work can be overwhelming and can make you feel worse. I use to beat myself up terribly.

MD
That's quite a good dominate shadow. I can see why it could have been turned around to turn you ambitious and self-focused. You sound like you would fit the 'helper' archetype. There is some co-dependency in there too, helping people so they are tied to you? Not in a sinister way but helping people so they can help you.

I would definitely say I am not a perfectionist. In fact, being stable enough to be a perfectionist would be a good goal for me, kind of what I have been working on. I am co-dependent though and conversely, very independent. Life/karma has given me lots of nice abusive relationships to turn me into an independent person who is scared of people. Of course, I still have the co-dependency issue, which is based around fear of the world, so integrating into groups is scary for me but great for my soul. Relationships I find easy, I can turn on the charm, but because I don't have a good foundation, an initial attraction is all there really is, whether it's me not liking them or me scaring them away, or liking the wrong ones subconsciously.

It's a great point you make about the dangers of shadow work for those without self-esteem. The biggest example that comes to mind is Marilyn Monroe who turned her back on Hollywood and joined the Actors Studio in New York in order to become a 'real actress.' The owner, Lee Strasberg, recommended she undertake psychotherapy in order to access her real emotions to be able to achieve this and many say this was a major part of her downfall.

I remember reading an excerpt from one of her diary entries that she had a nightmare that Strasberg performed an autopsy on her and inside her found nothing and she felt ashamed to show him as if she believed there was nothing inside of herself. She had also previously mentioned a 'nothingness.'

It's funny because Eckhart Tolle talks about the nothingness as a goal, it is what is behind the voce which thinks, it is the observer of thoughts and the Holy Spirit. So what she was scared of was her salvation, she should have embraced the nothingness and that would have allowed her to free herself from her ego. And I suspect she was blaming herself in the nightmare when actually deep-down she knew that Strasberg's methods were not the answer, it was merely a business or method he believed in, but it didn't lead to truth. If she had any self-esteem, she wouldn't have blamed herself and decided to trust in herself, but she was doomed, and the lack of self-esteem and mental health problems, possibly bipolar, was what made her a famous genius in the first place.

I think shadow work, if done properly, can alleviate danger. If it is making you worse, then the shadow is you need to love yourself and believe in yourself. Blaming yourself and finding fault is not shadow work but a shadow. However, that is just my opinion and everyone really should listen to their own mental health. For me to think shadow work is for everyone would be being just as Svengali-like and egotistical as Strasberg.

A lot of my shadow work was reflecting on emotional abuse growing up. I learnt not to blame myself, even though I still do and will always be that bit vulnerable, but I am not in denial about the violence that is caused by scapegoating and projecting on to someone. A lot of sensitive die because the internalize the hidden violence in people's actions and blame themselves. But I don't have bipolar or skitzophrenia, doing shadow work with a complicated condition like that, I would have no idea what to advice. Although, I have a friend who is skitzophrenia who has been treated like a victim and acts like one. Most of his issues are his unwillingness to look at that. He would lose his friend group, who mostly treat him like a victim, and he gets to blame other people too, it's a very safe place being an institutionalized ill person.
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Unread 03-05-2020, 05:38 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

Another shadow of mine is narcissism running in the family. Just because I was the target of it, does not mean I am not narcissistic too. Sorry for talking about myself too much, I hate it A good way out of it is to help people, but not in a co-dependent way, but just to help them. That is why I made this thread probably.
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Unread 03-07-2020, 11:14 AM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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That's quite a good dominate shadow. I can see why it could have been turned around to turn you ambitious and self-focused. You sound like you would fit the 'helper' archetype. There is some co-dependency in there too, helping people so they are tied to you? Not in a sinister way but helping people so they can help you.

I would definitely say I am not a perfectionist. In fact, being stable enough to be a perfectionist would be a good goal for me, kind of what I have been working on. I am co-dependent though and conversely, very independent. Life/karma has given me lots of nice abusive relationships to turn me into an independent person who is scared of people. Of course, I still have the co-dependency issue, which is based around fear of the world, so integrating into groups is scary for me but great for my soul. Relationships I find easy, I can turn on the charm, but because I don't have a good foundation, an initial attraction is all there really is, whether it's me not liking them or me scaring them away, or liking the wrong ones subconsciously.

It's a great point you make about the dangers of shadow work for those without self-esteem. The biggest example that comes to mind is Marilyn Monroe who turned her back on Hollywood and joined the Actors Studio in New York in order to become a 'real actress.' The owner, Lee Strasberg, recommended she undertake psychotherapy in order to access her real emotions to be able to achieve this and many say this was a major part of her downfall.

I remember reading an excerpt from one of her diary entries that she had a nightmare that Strasberg performed an autopsy on her and inside her found nothing and she felt ashamed to show him as if she believed there was nothing inside of herself. She had also previously mentioned a 'nothingness.'

It's funny because Eckhart Tolle talks about the nothingness as a goal, it is what is behind the voce which thinks, it is the observer of thoughts and the Holy Spirit. So what she was scared of was her salvation, she should have embraced the nothingness and that would have allowed her to free herself from her ego. And I suspect she was blaming herself in the nightmare when actually deep-down she knew that Strasberg's methods were not the answer, it was merely a business or method he believed in, but it didn't lead to truth. If she had any self-esteem, she wouldn't have blamed herself and decided to trust in herself, but she was doomed, and the lack of self-esteem and mental health problems, possibly bipolar, was what made her a famous genius in the first place.

I think shadow work, if done properly, can alleviate danger. If it is making you worse, then the shadow is you need to love yourself and believe in yourself. Blaming yourself and finding fault is not shadow work but a shadow. However, that is just my opinion and everyone really should listen to their own mental health. For me to think shadow work is for everyone would be being just as Svengali-like and egotistical as Strasberg.

A lot of my shadow work was reflecting on emotional abuse growing up. I learnt not to blame myself, even though I still do and will always be that bit vulnerable, but I am not in denial about the violence that is caused by scapegoating and projecting on to someone. A lot of sensitive die because the internalize the hidden violence in people's actions and blame themselves. But I don't have bipolar or skitzophrenia, doing shadow work with a complicated condition like that, I would have no idea what to advice. Although, I have a friend who is skitzophrenia who has been treated like a victim and acts like one. Most of his issues are his unwillingness to look at that. He would lose his friend group, who mostly treat him like a victim, and he gets to blame other people too, it's a very safe place being an institutionalized ill person.
Perfectionism being 'quite good' is a stretch. It is excruciating to those who truly suffer with that personality. Yes, there are the gifts of efficiency, organization, attention to detail but looking deep you realize your running on fear and pretense not from your heart, your true nature. I'm most grateful that once realizing I was not healthy, my focus on growth and healing could not be subverted.

An interesting aspect in my chart is South Node being in Virgo where it's negative side is perfectionism and my North Node is in Pieces showing compassion, forgiveness and spirituality as the way out. I have to say I have arrived at my NN. Does that mean I don't have to be reborn?

Agreed that shadow work, if done properly, can be liberating as you see what the problem is and you can be empowered to make changes and make you feel human. Where I ran into trouble was forcing the issue. Fell in love with the insights that were life changing and trying to achieve those results with every thought that came into my pretty little head. Vipassana meditation taught me to cut the cord to so many issues that I could build a painful story around. Troubling indeed.

Read a survey once that showed the people most happy with their jobs were the people who blame others for the problems on their job. That ran against everything I was learning about the path to happiness. So your friend may be in the best place in his mind. :-)

Relationships are complicated, to be sure. Often we are not receptive to people who come into our lives because of stress, overwork, self-esteem issues, negative thoughts, etc. Best I've come to expect of myself is to enjoy the moment when I have the opportunity to relate with another. Hope all is still going well with your friend who re-entered your life.

MD

Fascinating story of Marilyn Monroe! Always thought her a tortured soul stuck in a world that would only aggravate her mental problems.
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Unread 03-07-2020, 11:25 AM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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Another shadow of mine is narcissism running in the family. Just because I was the target of it, does not mean I am not narcissistic too. Sorry for talking about myself too much, I hate it A good way out of it is to help people, but not in a co-dependent way, but just to help them. That is why I made this thread probably.
You have a nice gift of engaging with others. There is balance of listening and sharing. I'm mostly a lisner that way I don't have to talk about myself and be open to criticism or rejection. lol

MD
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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Perfectionism being 'quite good' is a stretch. It is excruciating to those who truly suffer with that personality. Yes, there are the gifts of efficiency, organization, attention to detail but looking deep you realize your running on fear and pretense not from your heart, your true nature. I'm most grateful that once realizing I was not healthy, my focus on growth and healing could not be subverted.

An interesting aspect in my chart is South Node being in Virgo where it's negative side is perfectionism and my North Node is in Pieces showing compassion, forgiveness and spirituality as the way out. I have to say I have arrived at my NN. Does that mean I don't have to be reborn?

Agreed that shadow work, if done properly, can be liberating as you see what the problem is and you can be empowered to make changes and make you feel human. Where I ran into trouble was forcing the issue. Fell in love with the insights that were life changing and trying to achieve those results with every thought that came into my pretty little head. Vipassana meditation taught me to cut the cord to so many issues that I could build a painful story around. Troubling indeed.

Read a survey once that showed the people most happy with their jobs were the people who blame others for the problems on their job. That ran against everything I was learning about the path to happiness. So your friend may be in the best place in his mind. :-)

Relationships are complicated, to be sure. Often we are not receptive to people who come into our lives because of stress, overwork, self-esteem issues, negative thoughts, etc. Best I've come to expect of myself is to enjoy the moment when I have the opportunity to relate with another. Hope all is still going well with your friend who re-entered your life.

MD

Fascinating story of Marilyn Monroe! Always thought her a tortured soul stuck in a world that would only aggravate her mental problems.
Yes I was quick to dismiss the shadow side of perfectionism without first contemplating what it would feel like turned in on itself. I imagine a severe inner-critic would be very disabling without a stone unturned. As the opposite of a perfectionist, I'm able to dismiss quite a lot about myself until I am no longer able to dismiss it.

Your nodes describe that journey perfectly. To turn away from harsh criticism and seek enlightenment instead. The need to reach enlightenment could be a perfectionist tendency, but one which can't be gotten to with hat tendency still intact. It sounds like an especially spiritual nodal axis and makes sense with your insights on what we have spoken about so far. Curiously, I haven't ever gotten a Virgo-esque sense of criticism from you in my direction, I think I am starting to see how much you punished yourself instead of others, which shows your good heart, but also the pain you caused yourself.

I think we are similar in that sense that we would rather hurt ourselves than other people but it's been good for me to learn to not take everything so personally and it's not always about me, it could just be about 'them.' Or as the universe is complicated, a whole mix of the two.

This ties in beautifully with what you said about the types of people who always blame others. They certainly cause a lot of damage and 'ignorance' is bliss. They're usually the most socially acceptable and personally heathy people too, at least on the surface. But, the shadow catches up with us all. At its worst, when people put a plaster of denial over themselves and cause all sorts of misery to other people, in the end up, they dig themselves a whole and the plaster gets ripped off. And the people who blamed themselves and struggled up the hill, learn not to, and start to enjoy life a bit more

It's situations like that that help me to put my trust in the universe because everything balances itself and you just need to concentrate on yourself. Instead of seeking redemption or karma to those who projected on to me, I can let it go.

Well, the friend who re-entered my life has already gone. It was a short but good exchange. I think he will be back. He tried to blame me for being too intense when that is true but not the whole truth. His head is up his proverbial buttocks at the moment (men). But we also got to know each other a little better and built something which can be continued another time. It is just my theory he will be back, I can also not pine for it but must embrace my life. About 3 months of my anti-depressants now and I sense a readiness for life.
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Unread 03-07-2020, 08:13 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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You have a nice gift of engaging with others. There is balance of listening and sharing. I'm mostly a lisner that way I don't have to talk about myself and be open to criticism or rejection. lol

MD
Virgo-Pisces is so giving! I'm different in the sense that I would get rejected less if I listened more and took things less personally Thankfully Ive leaernt a lot about that already. When I was younger I would talk the *** of a donkey and then the depression made me very quiet, the depression was maturing me. It's quite cool cos we have some similarities but some differences that are complimentary, yet your giving tendencies wouldn't be taken advantage of by me or else I would be forgetting my own NN path. Very complimentary.
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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Yes I was quick to dismiss the shadow side of perfectionism without first contemplating what it would feel like turned in on itself. I imagine a severe inner-critic would be very disabling without a stone unturned. As the opposite of a perfectionist, I'm able to dismiss quite a lot about myself until I am no longer able to dismiss it.

Your nodes describe that journey perfectly. To turn away from harsh criticism and seek enlightenment instead. The need to reach enlightenment could be a perfectionist tendency, but one which can't be gotten to with hat tendency still intact. It sounds like an especially spiritual nodal axis and makes sense with your insights on what we have spoken about so far. Curiously, I haven't ever gotten a Virgo-esque sense of criticism from you in my direction, I think I am starting to see how much you punished yourself instead of others, which shows your good heart, but also the pain you caused yourself.

I think we are similar in that sense that we would rather hurt ourselves than other people but it's been good for me to learn to not take everything so personally and it's not always about me, it could just be about 'them.' Or as the universe is complicated, a whole mix of the two.

This ties in beautifully with what you said about the types of people who always blame others. They certainly cause a lot of damage and 'ignorance' is bliss. They're usually the most socially acceptable and personally heathy people too, at least on the surface. But, the shadow catches up with us all. At its worst, when people put a plaster of denial over themselves and cause all sorts of misery to other people, in the end up, they dig themselves a whole and the plaster gets ripped off. And the people who blamed themselves and struggled up the hill, learn not to, and start to enjoy life a bit more

It's situations like that that help me to put my trust in the universe because everything balances itself and you just need to concentrate on yourself. Instead of seeking redemption or karma to those who projected on to me, I can let it go.

Well, the friend who re-entered my life has already gone. It was a short but good exchange. I think he will be back. He tried to blame me for being too intense when that is true but not the whole truth. His head is up his proverbial buttocks at the moment (men). But we also got to know each other a little better and built something which can be continued another time. It is just my theory he will be back, I can also not pine for it but must embrace my life. About 3 months of my anti-depressants now and I sense a readiness for life.
I never saw the inner-critique, even as painful as it was, just thought everyone lived that way in their mind. Then a therapist showed me a powerful technique. It was back in the day the inner child was born as a psychological tool. She had me imagine a child sitting next to me who was frightened and upset and asked me what I was going to say to her. No way could I beat up that child and at the same time I was seeing what I had been doing to myself. That is the scary part of shadow work, recognizing how you've hurt yourself for the love of others and also seeing it doesn't work.

As much as I would like to take credit for having a good heart, I use to put everyone on a pedestal. Can't criticise that or open myself up to being criticised by them. Now days it's much more inspiring dealing with real people. Not taking things personally is a great skill and since learning and truly understanding we create our own reality, it's neat to ask yourself "what does this tell me about how I see reality?"

Was curious what your friend was bringing new to the table. He knew your heart when he left last time. There something unforgettable, he just needs to figure out what it is. :-)

BTW, last night I went out with my star app on my phone and picked the bright star Sirius. Found out it is also known as the Dog Star. Also found Venus which is beautifully displayed on the app. I use to have a dog I named Venus because she was born with Moon conj. Venus in Taurus.

What is the sign of your NN?

MD

Several times you've mentioned 3 months of anti-depressants. Do you mean 3 months on or off anti-depressants? Be inspired!

P.S. I think it's important to point out shadow work is for correcting attitudes you created to survive a life where others were in control and no longer needed to build a life where you are in control. I think that helps a lot in understanding your opening yourself to seeing a whole new world that exists.

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Unread 03-08-2020, 08:39 PM
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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I never saw the inner-critique, even as painful as it was, just thought everyone lived that way in their mind. Then a therapist showed me a powerful technique. It was back in the day the inner child was born as a psychological tool. She had me imagine a child sitting next to me who was frightened and upset and asked me what I was going to say to her. No way could I beat up that child and at the same time I was seeing what I had been doing to myself. That is the scary part of shadow work, recognizing how you've hurt yourself for the love of others and also seeing it doesn't work.

As much as I would like to take credit for having a good heart, I use to put everyone on a pedestal. Can't criticise that or open myself up to being criticised by them. Now days it's much more inspiring dealing with real people. Not taking things personally is a great skill and since learning and truly understanding we create our own reality, it's neat to ask yourself "what does this tell me about how I see reality?"

Was curious what your friend was bringing new to the table. He knew your heart when he left last time. There something unforgettable, he just needs to figure out what it is. :-)

BTW, last night I went out with my star app on my phone and picked the bright star Sirius. Found out it is also known as the Dog Star. Also found Venus which is beautifully displayed on the app. I use to have a dog I named Venus because she was born with Moon conj. Venus in Taurus.

What is the sign of your NN?

MD

Several times you've mentioned 3 months of anti-depressants. Do you mean 3 months on or off anti-depressants? Be inspired!

P.S. I think it's important to point out shadow work is for correcting attitudes you created to survive a life where others were in control and no longer needed to build a life where you are in control. I think that helps a lot in understanding your opening yourself to seeing a whole new world that exists.
That inner child critique is powerful. I once was watching my skitzophrenic friend berating himself and suddenly saw it as him torturing his inner child and told him. I don't think it would have been enough to cure him off it forever, but it left a lasting impression on me. It's a powerful image. I think that's another meme. It's such powerful imagery. It becoming popular in psychotherapy was a sure sign of the collective conscious evolving and being ready to heal itself.

I have only just recently started to come out of the pedestal/abandoned child stage and see the world more rationally.

What happened with this guy is actually a lot to do with that. He is currently got a lot on his mind and sorting out stuff in his head. When we first met I was lowering my dose on my anti-depressants and had little patience for his apathy. This time was a bit better but because he still isn't ready, he cancelled plans to meet up and it triggered my abandonment issues and we stopped talking. At least I recognize it and see it for what it was.

In your experience, were you able to implement this new reality as soon as you saw the old pedestal one for what it was, or was it a gradual change? I can imagine seeing this new reality transformed your relationships but because it's so new to me I haven't seen whether old patterns truly disappear or not.

Eckhart Tolle says, 'if you accept that relationships are here to make you conscious and not happy.' 'Conscious suffering.' wow.

Sirius the dog star sounds perfect, especially next to Venus your other dog. She sounded very sweet When things turn out so perfectly, or when the 'stars align,' (pun intended), that's proof of your pets talking to you

Oh so yes, I was on anti-depressants for 5 years and came off them recently. I think I type so fast I make silly mistakes between of and off.

I agree shadow work is for correcting attitudes and making them healthier. The inner child imagery would be so apt in helping to ensure shadow work is healthy and done with love, a meme needs to be created for it. Also, in contrast to shadow work, 5D says that it is ego that makes you think you need to work out how everything works, but you do not need to work out how a radio works to enjoy the music. So inner child and enjoying the music I think should be emphasized. As important as shadow work has been, which our recent conversations have shown, 5D says to sit back and smell the roses too.
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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That inner child critique is powerful. I once was watching my skitzophrenic friend berating himself and suddenly saw it as him torturing his inner child and told him. I don't think it would have been enough to cure him off it forever, but it left a lasting impression on me. It's a powerful image. I think that's another meme. It's such powerful imagery. It becoming popular in psychotherapy was a sure sign of the collective conscious evolving and being ready to heal itself.

I have only just recently started to come out of the pedestal/abandoned child stage and see the world more rationally.

What happened with this guy is actually a lot to do with that. He is currently got a lot on his mind and sorting out stuff in his head. When we first met I was lowering my dose on my anti-depressants and had little patience for his apathy. This time was a bit better but because he still isn't ready, he cancelled plans to meet up and it triggered my abandonment issues and we stopped talking. At least I recognize it and see it for what it was.

In your experience, were you able to implement this new reality as soon as you saw the old pedestal one for what it was, or was it a gradual change? I can imagine seeing this new reality transformed your relationships but because it's so new to me I haven't seen whether old patterns truly disappear or not.

Eckhart Tolle says, 'if you accept that relationships are here to make you conscious and not happy.' 'Conscious suffering.' wow.

Sirius the dog star sounds perfect, especially next to Venus your other dog. She sounded very sweet When things turn out so perfectly, or when the 'stars align,' (pun intended), that's proof of your pets talking to you

Oh so yes, I was on anti-depressants for 5 years and came off them recently. I think I type so fast I make silly mistakes between of and off.

I agree shadow work is for correcting attitudes and making them healthier. The inner child imagery would be so apt in helping to ensure shadow work is healthy and done with love, a meme needs to be created for it. Also, in contrast to shadow work, 5D says that it is ego that makes you think you need to work out how everything works, but you do not need to work out how a radio works to enjoy the music. So inner child and enjoying the music I think should be emphasized. As important as shadow work has been, which our recent conversations have shown, 5D says to sit back and smell the roses too.
My new reality was slow to change my behavior. I liken it to having a dream of one day being healthy and leaving it to the universe to figure how you get there. When you think about it, so much has gone into our condition. We've been imprinted by our DNA, parents, siblings, acquaintances, past lives, media, astrology. Oh yeah, we can now add quantum physics to the mix. So darn complicated, I like to think I'm not to blame for any of my condition but then it also helps to extend that thinking to no one is to blame or everyone is equally to blame.

Thank you for the Eckart Tolle recommendation.

MD

Shadow2.jpg
My shadow enjoying the sights. :-)

Last edited by Moondancing; 03-09-2020 at 12:51 PM.
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My new reality was slow to change my behavior. I liken it to having a dream of one day being healthy and leaving it to the universe to figure how you get there. When you think about it, so much has gone into our condition. We've been imprinted by our DNA, parents, siblings, acquaintances, past lives, media, astrology. Oh yeah, we can now add quantum physics to the mix. So darn complicated, I like to think I'm not to blame for any of my condition but then it also helps to extend that thinking to no one is to blame or everyone is equally to blame.

Thank you for the Eckart Tolle recommendation.

MD

Attachment 84479
My shadow enjoying the sights. :-)
Yes, if I am not to blame, then no one is. That thinking also helps alleviate symptoms of feeling like a victim and allows space for 5D and love. It makes sense that the behaviour was slow to change, especially with all the imprints you listed. Receiving the awareness is a huge step to even get to and comprehend, before it it is like fighting in the darkness and being unconscious. Even if the behaviour persists, I guess the reminder of the new awareness will slowly dig away at the root of the issue. Earth is billions of years old and events like paradigm shifts, evolution, all happens so gradually you canít see it but change always happens. Iím grateful to have the awareness at all

with this new awareness, I am able to appreciate that needing love because of abandonment issues was ego-related and to truly love someone you need to give them love, space and freedom, they do not belong to you and to think they can heal you is false. Itís very 5D.

Love the hat! View looks amazing too. Are those views on your door step or do you need to travel? The photos of my walk are basically on my doorstep but to get to nicer views like a quiet beach would be just under an hours drive, although thereís a really nice forest about a half hourís drive away.
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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Yes, if I am not to blame, then no one is. That thinking also helps alleviate symptoms of feeling like a victim and allows space for 5D and love. It makes sense that the behaviour was slow to change, especially with all the imprints you listed. Receiving the awareness is a huge step to even get to and comprehend, before it it is like fighting in the darkness and being unconscious. Even if the behaviour persists, I guess the reminder of the new awareness will slowly dig away at the root of the issue. Earth is billions of years old and events like paradigm shifts, evolution, all happens so gradually you canít see it but change always happens. Iím grateful to have the awareness at all

with this new awareness, I am able to appreciate that needing love because of abandonment issues was ego-related and to truly love someone you need to give them love, space and freedom, they do not belong to you and to think they can heal you is false. Itís very 5D.

Love the hat! View looks amazing too. Are those views on your door step or do you need to travel? The photos of my walk are basically on my doorstep but to get to nicer views like a quiet beach would be just under an hours drive, although thereís a really nice forest about a half hourís drive away.
The awareness of what I was doing was huge in that I could no longer ignore or be unconscious to causing my pain. I was then stepping into the world of 'conscious suffering'? As I've often heard, you have to go through the pain to heal. But, the reward is Love and Freedom that takes you into another dimension. Not a dimension where I can walk on water, don't think there is anyone but Jesus who accomplished that, but the dimension where many others have successfully reach and can point the way.

As you cling onto someone, you know deep in your heart it is space and freedom your heart truly wants to express. One morning after a particularly rough night I woke to my radio playing the song "The Greatest Love" by Whitney Houston. The words learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all had me bolting out of bed. The concept of 'learning' to love yourself came as a revolutionary idea to me, it was a doable idea to me. It was an exhilarating experience. You know how many times I heard that song but the message never registered? Given a few days I'm sure I was slipping back into self-pity but from my vantage point now, I successfully reached my goal.

Interestingly, I came across my handwriting when I was younger and compared it to my handwriting today and the difference is drastic. There were huge loops in my youth because my sensitivity was off the charts. Today they are gone. It's nice to have some kind of measuring tool because the process is so slow you might wonder if progress has been made. Meditation when I first started was 5-10 minutes. It was a struggle and went on like that for years but kept trying and today I meditate for an hour twice a day. Took a course with Adyashanti and that helped greatly.

The views are nice but what you experienced on your walk, connecting with the earth barefooted, experiencing light and dark, ect. is what your heart brings to the moment and is magical. Nicer views is another way of looking outside ourselves. But I love photography and posting beautiful photos for an audience is better than my photos of the bark of a tree. lol But both can equally send chills through you.

MD
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Re: 5D Inspiration!!

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The awareness of what I was doing was huge in that I could no longer ignore or be unconscious to causing my pain. I was then stepping into the world of 'conscious suffering'? As I've often heard, you have to go through the pain to heal. But, the reward is Love and Freedom that takes you into another dimension. Not a dimension where I can walk on water, don't think there is anyone but Jesus who accomplished that, but the dimension where many others have successfully reach and can point the way.

As you cling onto someone, you know deep in your heart it is space and freedom your heart truly wants to express. One morning after a particularly rough night I woke to my radio playing the song "The Greatest Love" by Whitney Houston. The words learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all had me bolting out of bed. The concept of 'learning' to love yourself came as a revolutionary idea to me, it was a doable idea to me. It was an exhilarating experience. You know how many times I heard that song but the message never registered? Given a few days I'm sure I was slipping back into self-pity but from my vantage point now, I successfully reached my goal.

Interestingly, I came across my handwriting when I was younger and compared it to my handwriting today and the difference is drastic. There were huge loops in my youth because my sensitivity was off the charts. Today they are gone. It's nice to have some kind of measuring tool because the process is so slow you might wonder if progress has been made. Meditation when I first started was 5-10 minutes. It was a struggle and went on like that for years but kept trying and today I meditate for an hour twice a day. Took a course with Adyashanti and that helped greatly.

The views are nice but what you experienced on your walk, connecting with the earth barefooted, experiencing light and dark, ect. is what your heart brings to the moment and is magical. Nicer views is another way of looking outside ourselves. But I love photography and posting beautiful photos for an audience is better than my photos of the bark of a tree. lol But both can equally send chills through you.

MD
Yes, I'm afraid I slipped back into old patterns and thought and was angry at the guy for standing me up when, like you said, space and freedom is what my heart truly desires. The awareness of the victim consciousness being played out certainly stopped the feeling of abandonment lasting very long though, and it's good progress is being made, if not cured completely.

I love it when the Universe gives you signs that correlate to a new realisation! What a nice 5D song, it will be posted along with the lyrics. Listening to it now

Interesting that light and dark was a theme in my walk, I didn't pay much attention to the lesson behind seeing the street light entering into town, although it did seem relevant. But I didn't recognize it as a journey of light and dark as itself. The walk was truly a moment of light, walking barefooted was very therapeutic. I will need to do it again, maybe tomorrow.

Meditating twice a day everyday is a lot! I haven't meditated in a couple of weeks, went through an intense phase a few weeks ago, which ended in the walk. Started a new job recently so been concentrating on the physical world, but I would like to maintain a balance between both.

Do you feel you need to ground yourself when you meditate for 2 hours a day? I imagine you have out of body experiences with that level of intensity, or at the very least, become more inward thinking than outward thinking. My head got quite messy doing it which is why I went barefoot in the woods.
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There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious" - Carl Jung
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