Looking at the dates...Uh, LOL, its been.. a long time coming.. to the time of responding to the old posts. Don't think I was ready to respond when I posed the question. Facts are I know I was not. It was very powerful. These issues are so deeply, as Buai (oh BTW thanks for the encouragement!!) quoted there, "ingrained" that, YES, they have been extraordinarily hard to deal with due to my circumstances playing out as they did in my life.
I have since studied subjects more than astrology that "paint my personal picture" more clearly. Then my strongly transiting Neptune opposing my Natal Sun at those times gave me a very foggy understanding of myself. I was in the throes of trying to save someone from, Neptunian problems, (alcoholism), none the less, at those times. And quite ill myself.
A more intense study of personology shows that people born on my birthday..August 12.. have a great desire for knowledge, old laws, and for old wisdom. Yet they are often almost tyrannically insistant upon doing things their way in their personal lives and with those around them. My personal 33/6 numerology shows I am more of a sacrifical type. Who was prone to martyrdom, overly idealistic, and whose main mission in life was acceptance of things as they really are... I can really attest to that..Acceptance. Well I can say that understanding and realizing there is truth to both... I attend a group that strives to have a geniune love, but healthier detachment from people and particularly focus on acceptance of people as they are, and it has healed so much in my own life.
I am trying my best to integrate all the metaphysics to "HEAL" me and I know they are doing just that. I hope to sometime be able to talk with others about their own situations in life by using such teachings of all of these methods and blending them into a healthy usable spiritual message to help them heal in such areas of life. Especially in the areas of security and self esteem. Well, if you know the key words for Saturn and Chiron and it's placements as I have in the second house they are used in the above. I see now that the universe placed the symbology of Chiron the "Wounded Healer" correctly so by sign and house and all the things that house symbolize for my development. Now I need to do all the work Saturn's symbology calls me to do. It all really does fall back to my Motto down there I had come to realize..we are truly dealt fate at that birth moment, place, and time....but the life we build upon it is truly up to us..in short ..But I have to earn that security for myself and stay positive, and only then can I truly help others. We all should know that in this life we cannot give anything away that we truly do not ourselves possess first. I am getting there and as I have mentioned on my personal page in here I have fears of gaining that ability I speak of. For opposingly saying this adage... all silver linings have their black clouds.. it sounds so negative, but the good never exist without the bad. We always learn from both no matter what, and can and will turn bad to good, and it is a good thing to remember... especially when a person like myself is too idealistic by nature as a Leo Sun native and a 33/6. Also, having "energetically and expandingly exalted" Mars/Jupiter in Cancer conjunction, and most of my personal planetary placements, in the sixth house. It would be symbolic of a person who is always concerned with their daily life service of self and to others (western hemisphere placement). There are so many angles on this I have learned, and many more to consider than space or attention span LOL allows me to speak of here.
Using the Pullen's chart weighing system on Astrodienst, Saturn conjunct Chiron is a "heavier" aspect of my chart. Uranus conjunct Pluto in Virgo, in the 7th, was the most powerful I feel the symbology there could also boost the power of healing energies with Pluto being at one of Virgo's most powerful points..17 degrees. Maybe this could point to healing of relationships or people's relationships as well. People unload on me all the time. They always have. I am easy to talk to for them and can on a good day LOL be an absorber of their pain, and be an ear to listen. I need to learn also that I need to be a true help to these people not and enabler to them not to learn the lesson life and destiny may be teaching them in this lifetime.
Uranus, and Aquarius Rising, I guess would mean ..being a little offbeat type of person to approach. I really am the last person someone would think of as Esoterically or metaphysically concerned. I mean, cm'on, I dress like a republican LOL. But am not affiliated to any. I appear gruff and detached often enough too, but speak to me.. it all dissapears.. been told that often enough. To Lapis and Buai, thanks for pointing me to the that powerful reading Lapis. Thanks to Buai for your spiritual cheerleading..sorry, I was not really open to it for so long. I have learned to see the encouragement. I would recommend all to take a deep "delving" into their numerology and their Personology on a more and less personal aspect in that respective order. Only if you really truly are wanting to face your weaknesses personally. Our weaknesses are truly where our true spiritual strengths lie. Not the superficial ones.
Well Kellifire, do not be disheartened about the Saturn/ Chiron conjunction in your 5th house. There's no absolutes in how our Natal chart expresses itself. Saturn/Chiron in my second has only pointed to where the most difficult challenges in this life may lie... not that it "will never" happen. It is just a very great challenge that may take half our lifes to overcome. People telling people things are definitely going to happen like that sets us up for a subconcious self fulfilling prophesy. When it is more appropriate to say you may tend to undo yourself and you must work hard for this area in your life. I know enough times I undid my own self esteem. Focus deeply on your wounds of 5th house concerns and work at how you may be able heal them.
R4VEN, I worshipped the ground my father walked upon for so long then he failed in some of my expectations..and was breaking laws. I know now, too well, that I could not accept his behavior. He passed away 20 years ago today actually on unsettled terms between us.
I have been learning to love people beyond those things and to forgive them, and most importantly forgive myself. YES!! excluding myself,...he was my 2nd worst critic. I literally did not live up to his expectations I see now. I was rather "otherworldly" in a Redneck world even then..I do not fit in here. The most impotant thing is... I do not care anymore. I work daily to adapt to that Mercury opposing Ascendant... YES MAN mentality, and cling to the earthshattering reality that I cannot FIX anyone on this planet except my very SELF. That was one of the most grand revealations to me in this lifetime most do not realize, and an even more magnificent relief to discover the fact that I don't have too. I am ME. Its all good what you write about here R4VEN. Thanks for the input.
Take care
Franklin
