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Unread 05-01-2020, 02:35 AM
clip11 clip11 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 233
Low self esteem in my natal chart

I've always battled with low self esteem and negative thinking. Why is that from looking at my chart?

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Unread 05-01-2020, 11:53 AM
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jkxx74 jkxx74 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Denver area, CO
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Re: Low self esteem in my natal chart

Your chart actually reminds me of mine in a couple of ways - you have Sun and Mercury in Cap with Mars in Pisces - there are actually some aspects I'd argue are really nice in your chart but because you are asking about low esteem - Sun and Merc in Cap are not particularly cheerful placements although they are excellent for getting things done but you are already familiar with that. The problem with both of them is that they fall under the domain of Saturn which constantly questions any planets in its sign whether they are doing the right thing and/or doing it well. So the actual outcome of this is that you get better and better at whatever you are trying to do but ironically there is still Saturn in the background questioning your decisions and integrity every step of the way. Mercury in Cap in particular is concerned with whether one is analyzing everything properly and whether it's all correct - which Saturn compels you to again figure out for yourself so you can't exactly rely on what others tell you here either.

But then we have Mars in Pisces - Mars is the planet that should be working to get us what we want and it more or less does this when placed in just about any other sign (save for Virgo which has similar themes to Pisces) but here it is asked to work "for a higher purpose" which usually ends up being others' interests with this placement. Mars in Pisces does not feel it has the drive or energy of the other Mars placements so this position really makes it hard to get going and to even believe you will get anywhere once you do - because usually you don't end up where you expected to in the beginning.

So you have Saturn questioning how well you are doing and Mars feeling a sort of confusing nebulousness about what it is doing so you don't really feel you have the directness you would like and this causes the self-doubt feelings.

Your moon is a big help here (even though it's conjunct Saturn) since it's placed in a fire sign which does not have the restrictions of Capricorn or confusion of Pisces - so you can work on using your emotions to lift yourself up and Moon in Sag is an especially cheerful placement that's really capable of this.

The other reason you might feel down is the placement of Chiron - it is on your MC (profession or work somehow results in wounding or your profession involves wounding and healing) and it is close enough to be square your Ascendant - this also suggests interactions with others are wounding somehow or they always remind you of past problems. Chiron is a difficult one to overcome but like Saturn it also improves with time - once you get a different perspective on what it's doing. (This is also true of placements in Cap - they improve or get better over time.)

So better times are definitely coming but I can understand why you would feel down with these placements in your chart.
My chart:

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chart, esteem, natal

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