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  #1  
Unread 10-03-2020, 08:26 PM
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Looking for insight please

This is the chart of a man I met from Tinder back in December. I am wondering about his relationship potential.

His 7th house is very busy and Pluto is conjunct the DC and Venus. I can see the Pluto-DC in him. He likes to be in control and does this quite subtly by seeing how he can get to me, almost messing with my head. It's quite dark but its not at an abusive level.

What is dark though is the level of his co-dependency issues. This is probably the Libra Venus influence. He has very low self-esteem and he's slowly healing from a previous toxic relationship, but to deal with this he has multiple casual partners. It's gotten to such a low level at one point before lockdown he was browsing a brothel website and seriously thinking of phoning her before she took her photo down. Is that Pluto or not.

I think the co-dependency and multiple partners with no emotional connection can be seen by the South Node too. His NN wants him to be more independent and less focused on groups.

He also has such a sweet and sensitive side to him as well though. He is really slow to trust and heal, which is why things have been so back and forth between us. I'm not sure where the sensitivity comes from, maybe Pisces intercepted in the 12th house.

I would like some insight into this man please. Can he be faithful/can he make a good partner?


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  #2  
Unread 10-04-2020, 10:30 AM
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Denied Anthropophobic Denied Anthropophobic is offline
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Post Re: Looking for insight please

Whether he is a “good” partner that would be subjective. Have you already looked at the synastry and composite? I know this is not in the forum to do so, but I feel only part of your question can be answered. Having those charts, the natals and looking at them collectively is more telling. Could be a good idea to post in those forums too.

Does his natal chart show the tendency to be faithful? The potential can possibly be seen.

Saturn can show responsibility and commitment. That is exalted in Libra which gives opportunities to learn to compromise and maturing, committing to a partner that can be important in romantic relationships. Maybe it hasn’t been long enough to access this on your own. You’re going to want to look at Saturn in synastry too. Plus, ask yourself if he is not currently exercising this potential now, are you willing to begin a relationship in hope that he develops this? How does he respond to growth and transformation? Will you hang around waiting? Does your synastry and composite show potential for both of you to grow in a relationship together or will you forge stifling chains? And in what areas?

Again, I recommend looking at natal charts of both of you, the composite or Davidson (which ever one you prefer) and the synastry together. I think you’ll get a better idea.

His natal Saturn is in the 6th house. There can be a compulsion to control and organize his environment. Maybe strictness with (daily) routine. Maybe he is health conscious or made to be out of an illness. Conjunct Jupiter, there can be some ambitious potential, recovery in terms of health, the need of self-assurance, and perhaps standards and expectation that are high. Jupiter is interesting to me in this case, because it is in the 6th house which I imagine as giving and wanting to help which can be somewhat unequal house, but in Libra, I imagine some jealousy, and requirement of fairness.
You can also look at his natal Saturn aspects and its ruler. Saturn trines moon, squares mars, and conjunct Jupiter. Saturn is ruled by Venus in Libra in the 7th.

What do you need in a relationship? If responsiveness and reactions matter to you. Maybe Moon and mars would be something to look at.

Does their drive and professional success or career matter? Do need that level of security in a relationship? Better to look to Mars, Saturn, 6th house, Midheaven/ 10th house in his chart.
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  #3  
Unread 10-05-2020, 11:37 AM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Looking for insight please

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ukpoohbear View Post
This is the chart of a man I met from Tinder back in December. I am wondering about his relationship potential.

His 7th house is very busy and Pluto is conjunct the DC and Venus. I can see the Pluto-DC in him. He likes to be in control and does this quite subtly by seeing how he can get to me, almost messing with my head. It's quite dark but its not at an abusive level.
Saying his 7th house of relations is 'very busy' is a bit of an understatement.

He has a 7th house stellium that spans three signs--Libra, Scorpio and Sag.
And that Pluto is right upon the angle, intensifying his Plutonian energy when he is relating to others, one on one.

His Pluto does not have a lot of outlets, so he may become obsessed with relationships, ultra focused upon creating one on one situations---but with no aspects other than a separating conjunction to Venus and a sextile to Neptune in the 9th, he might not be sure how to stabilise or secure those relationships. Or even want to?

Having 5 planets in 3 signs within that house makes it difficult for him to sort out his relationships easily. He has a lot of conflicting feelings/urges within that one house.



Quote:
What is dark though is the level of his co-dependency issues. This is probably the Libra Venus influence. He has very low self-esteem and he's slowly healing from a previous toxic relationship, but to deal with this he has multiple casual partners. It's gotten to such a low level at one point before lockdown he was browsing a brothel website and seriously thinking of phoning her before she took her photo down. Is that Pluto or not.
Yep, that is Pluto, for sure.

In looking at one's relationships, we look at the Descendant, and the ruler of that Descendant. Venus @ 28 Libra, rules his 7th cusp, and its is in the 7th, separating from Pluto, and essentially void of course. That weakens his Venus.

Venus in Libra craves relationships, and desires love and romance. And yet his Venus is sandwiched between Pluto and his Mercury in Scorpio. So those relationships will have a darker, more Scorpio laden energy than the average Venus in Libra.

Thus looking for 'romantic partnerships' on Tinder or in a brothel, makes sense to him in desperate times.

The Scorpio planets in his 7th are intercepted, so that makes the sexual component of his relationships more difficult than necessary. They are hidden within Libra and Sag, so he may not feel very confident about that part of his persona. Thus the multiple partners, and lack of emotional connection which you described.

Quote:
I think the co-dependency and multiple partners with no emotional connection can be seen by the South Node too. His NN wants him to be more independent and less focused on groups.
Yes, his nodes form a Grand Cross with his Mercury/Chiron opposition.

I agree with you--His 11th house can zap his energy, and pull him into an area that traps him into dead ends. His North Node in the 5th is where he could get much better traction in this life, by working on his own self confidence, his heart chakra, his creativity, his pride in himself.


Quote:
He also has such a sweet and sensitive side to him as well though. He is really slow to trust and heal, which is why things have been so back and forth between us. I'm not sure where the sensitivity comes from, maybe Pisces intercepted in the 12th house.
I can see how an intercepted sign of Pisces could create that sensitivity.

Also, his angular Mercury in Scorpio is unaspected ---other than the opposition to Chiron and square the Nodes.

That could create sensitivity and a lack of confidence. But Mercury/Chiron opposition's can make one very compassionate and aware of what other's need and how to comfort them---as well as how to get them where it hurts most...

Quote:
I would like some insight into this man please. Can he be faithful/can he make a good partner?
Sun conjunct Uranus opposed Moon in Gemini, FAITHFUL?

I am joking on purpose, only because if someone wanted to make up an astrological signature, that might describe infidelity, that^^^ might be. it...lol

Seriously though, I have no idea if he would be faithful or not. I tend to doubt it, but he could prove me wrong.

But my REAL question for you is---WHY would you want to make him your partner now?

In YOUR words:

Here is a man I met from Tinder ....He likes to be in control and does this quite subtly by seeing how he can get to me, almost messing with my head. It's quite dark ...but not to abusive level...

What is dark though is the level of his co-dependency issues...

He has very low self-esteem and he's slowly healing from a previous toxic relationship, but to deal with this he has multiple casual partners.

It's gotten to such a low level .... he was browsing a brothel website and seriously thinking of phoning her before she took her photo down

I think [there is ] co-dependency and multiple partners with no emotional connection too...

He also has such a sweet and sensitive side to him as well though. He is really slow to trust and heal...

Can he be faithful/can he make a good partner?


Why is this controlling 40 yr old, with low self esteem, who is chasing multiple casual hook ups on Tinder, YOUR potential partner?


Last edited by katydid; 10-05-2020 at 11:41 AM.
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  #4  
Unread 10-05-2020, 11:43 AM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Looking for insight please

So you are considering an attempt to heal this wounded soul. And that is noble, but is it wise?
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  #5  
Unread 10-05-2020, 10:23 PM
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Re: Looking for insight please

Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid View Post
Saying his 7th house of relations is 'very busy' is a bit of an understatement.

He has a 7th house stellium that spans three signs--Libra, Scorpio and Sag.
And that Pluto is right upon the angle, intensifying his Plutonian energy when he is relating to others, one on one.

His Pluto does not have a lot of outlets, so he may become obsessed with relationships, ultra focused upon creating one on one situations---but with no aspects other than a separating conjunction to Venus and a sextile to Neptune in the 9th, he might not be sure how to stabilise or secure those relationships. Or even want to?

Having 5 planets in 3 signs within that house makes it difficult for him to sort out his relationships easily. He has a lot of conflicting feelings/urges within that one house.





Yep, that is Pluto, for sure.

In looking at one's relationships, we look at the Descendant, and the ruler of that Descendant. Venus @ 28 Libra, rules his 7th cusp, and its is in the 7th, separating from Pluto, and essentially void of course. That weakens his Venus.

Venus in Libra craves relationships, and desires love and romance. And yet his Venus is sandwiched between Pluto and his Mercury in Scorpio. So those relationships will have a darker, more Scorpio laden energy than the average Venus in Libra.

Thus looking for 'romantic partnerships' on Tinder or in a brothel, makes sense to him in desperate times.

The Scorpio planets in his 7th are intercepted, so that makes the sexual component of his relationships more difficult than necessary. They are hidden within Libra and Sag, so he may not feel very confident about that part of his persona. Thus the multiple partners, and lack of emotional connection which you described.



Yes, his nodes form a Grand Cross with his Mercury/Chiron opposition.

I agree with you--His 11th house can zap his energy, and pull him into an area that traps him into dead ends. His North Node in the 5th is where he could get much better traction in this life, by working on his own self confidence, his heart chakra, his creativity, his pride in himself.




I can see how an intercepted sign of Pisces could create that sensitivity.

Also, his angular Mercury in Scorpio is unaspected ---other than the opposition to Chiron and square the Nodes.

That could create sensitivity and a lack of confidence. But Mercury/Chiron opposition's can make one very compassionate and aware of what other's need and how to comfort them---as well as how to get them where it hurts most...



Sun conjunct Uranus opposed Moon in Gemini, FAITHFUL?

I am joking on purpose, only because if someone wanted to make up an astrological signature, that might describe infidelity, that^^^ might be. it...lol

Seriously though, I have no idea if he would be faithful or not. I tend to doubt it, but he could prove me wrong.

But my REAL question for you is---WHY would you want to make him your partner now?

In YOUR words:

Here is a man I met from Tinder ....He likes to be in control and does this quite subtly by seeing how he can get to me, almost messing with my head. It's quite dark ...but not to abusive level...

What is dark though is the level of his co-dependency issues...

He has very low self-esteem and he's slowly healing from a previous toxic relationship, but to deal with this he has multiple casual partners.

It's gotten to such a low level .... he was browsing a brothel website and seriously thinking of phoning her before she took her photo down

I think [there is ] co-dependency and multiple partners with no emotional connection too...

He also has such a sweet and sensitive side to him as well though. He is really slow to trust and heal...

Can he be faithful/can he make a good partner?


Why is this controlling 40 yr old, with low self esteem, who is chasing multiple casual hook ups on Tinder, YOUR potential partner?

Thank you Katydid for your insights. A lot of people say to look at synastry and composite but I want to know what makes a person tick. I am not sure if I want to become attached to him yet.

I had to laugh at the comment of 'is sun conjunct uranus oppose moon in Gemini faithful :lol' I never noticed that before. I think that answers my main worries. I know he is a good person even though he has some very dark behaviour but he is a good boy. However he is also the type I would come home after finish work and find he is in bed with my neighbour/best friend/sister What is very bad is he is so sensitive about being hurt but does not realize you reap what you sow! I do not know of him to do that to somebody but if he can think to see prostitutes then I can also see him seeing prostitutes when I am pregnant at home!

Now that you mention his Mercury-Chiron opposition with Nodes making the grand cross, I see that is his deep sensitivity, as well as Pisces intercepted. Ruler of Pisces Jupiter in 6th house, conjunct Saturn, ruled by Libra. I think that is the potential to be a faithful partner and care very deeply. As well as the Mercury-Chiron. And the elevated Neptune. He has big blue Neptune eyes.

But all this does not take away all the warning signs and I will not forgot those.
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There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious" - Carl Jung
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  #6  
Unread 10-05-2020, 10:37 PM
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Re: Looking for insight please

Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid View Post
So you are considering an attempt to heal this wounded soul. And that is noble, but is it wise?
Yes I am wondering what my part to play is in his healing. It does not necessarily have to be as big as a relationship even if that is what I naturally think about it.

I first met him in December and he was ill and so I was understanding and waited a few weeks to meet up when he suddenly changed his mind and I found it later he 'dated' a 50 year old woman. I was very hurt especially because I was coming off my antidepressants at the same time and I had no idea what I was dealing with. When we first met we had crazy chemistry and it was a huge let down. I felt triggered and I wanted to release my fury on him but a strong intuition inside my head told me not to. I have only had a strong intuition a few times and never telling me not to hurt somebody before.

So I am wondering why. Is it because he is a good man deep down and did not deserve to be hurt, is it because I have a part to play that is not finished yet or are we meant to be together. I am not sure why the intuition told me not to. It could maybe have been because I was more healthy and should not be trying to hurt people, or maybe because he did not deserve it, even though he did.

People have to choose the light and love. Healing his heart chakra is a great idea, I have learnt to be neutral with him. I have not played games back.

Yes I am not willing to sacrifice myself for a man who would hurt me or have an affair with a prostitute. I can say it is not my problem because I have grown too much in my healing journey but it is the voice telling me not to hurt him that gives me faith I have to do something.

Lots of people have helped me. Even if I was not yet ready to heal they gave me somewhere to shelter. Now I have done my journey I have no problem giving back but I will not sacrifice my own journey but I do have a job to do. I am just wondering what it is with him.

The other guy my neighbour, we are growing closer. In the horary, Saturn prevented the relationship but Mercury and Jupiter went on to trine, I think that is what is happening now with us. so I can make a choice but it is interesting that I was told by my intuition not to hurt this guy!! I am glad I did not, it was just because he was so cruel. Maybe it was just a sign of my own journey, I will find out and I will not sacrifice my own journey.
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There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious" - Carl Jung
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  #7  
Unread 10-06-2020, 12:13 AM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Looking for insight please

Reading your measured and wise replies, reminds me that you are no longer the little lost girl that wanted to use black magic to trap your next lover...

You have indeed matured, progressed and become wise beyond your years.

For that reason, I can see wisdom in your decision to consider pursuing this further, however it ends up playing out.

Just keep in mind that you cannot heal him---you can only offer him the opportunity to try and share that healing together. It is up to him, and he may not be ready.

His 7th House is a crowded realm and kind of a dangerous place to enter, without keeping your head on a swivel.

So many layers, from the Plutonian depths of Libra, to the Mercury in Scorpio, and finally the Sun/Uranus.

The narrative of his 7th house Journey seems to be that the new partner 1st meets up with his Pluto. So they are mesmerised and loved up with his passionate powerful intensity.

And Venus follows quickly---so the Venus in libra honeymoon phase kicks in....

Then Mercury in Scorpio, at his core , is revealed. And he may test his partner, purposely, and using Scorpio type mind games, and challenges and metaphysical challenges. That Mercury is part of that Grand cross, which may be the wall that he puts up to protect himself emotionally, spiritually, etc.

Finally, if one gets past that Grand Cross at the gate, one enters the Uranus/Sun entrance to Saggitarius portal. Can you make it that far?

Last edited by katydid; 10-06-2020 at 12:18 AM.
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  #8  
Unread 10-06-2020, 07:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Denied Anthropophobic View Post
Whether he is a “good” partner that would be subjective. Have you already looked at the synastry and composite? I know this is not in the forum to do so, but I feel only part of your question can be answered. Having those charts, the natals and looking at them collectively is more telling. Could be a good idea to post in those forums too.

Does his natal chart show the tendency to be faithful? The potential can possibly be seen.

Saturn can show responsibility and commitment. That is exalted in Libra which gives opportunities to learn to compromise and maturing, committing to a partner that can be important in romantic relationships. Maybe it hasn’t been long enough to access this on your own. You’re going to want to look at Saturn in synastry too. Plus, ask yourself if he is not currently exercising this potential now, are you willing to begin a relationship in hope that he develops this? How does he respond to growth and transformation? Will you hang around waiting? Does your synastry and composite show potential for both of you to grow in a relationship together or will you forge stifling chains? And in what areas?

Again, I recommend looking at natal charts of both of you, the composite or Davidson (which ever one you prefer) and the synastry together. I think you’ll get a better idea.

His natal Saturn is in the 6th house. There can be a compulsion to control and organize his environment. Maybe strictness with (daily) routine. Maybe he is health conscious or made to be out of an illness. Conjunct Jupiter, there can be some ambitious potential, recovery in terms of health, the need of self-assurance, and perhaps standards and expectation that are high. Jupiter is interesting to me in this case, because it is in the 6th house which I imagine as giving and wanting to help which can be somewhat unequal house, but in Libra, I imagine some jealousy, and requirement of fairness.
You can also look at his natal Saturn aspects and its ruler. Saturn trines moon, squares mars, and conjunct Jupiter. Saturn is ruled by Venus in Libra in the 7th.

What do you need in a relationship? If responsiveness and reactions matter to you. Maybe Moon and mars would be something to look at.

Does their drive and professional success or career matter? Do need that level of security in a relationship? Better to look to Mars, Saturn, 6th house, Midheaven/ 10th house in his chart.
It is an interesting question to ask what are my needs in a relationship and then to look at that planet to see if the person can provide it. I want passion and commitment. Love. There is potential for commitment in him with his Jupiter conjunct Saturn ruled by his Libra Venus. In the 6th house showing more commitment. Jupiter in 6th probably makes him less judgemental and nicer to live with, not as controlling.

We have some Saturn aspects, on the nodes and Asc. That is the commitment. We have Moon Mars for chemistry. There is a spark and potential there.

I am not bothered about jobs or career just the knowledge they are not lazy is enough.

I think his Libra Venus is sole dispositor which is nice, if he’s faithful about it. I think he is committed but not faithful :/
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Unread 10-06-2020, 07:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid View Post
Reading your measured and wise replies, reminds me that you are no longer the little lost girl that wanted to use black magic to trap your next lover...

You have indeed matured, progressed and become wise beyond your years.

For that reason, I can see wisdom in your decision to consider pursuing this further, however it ends up playing out.

Just keep in mind that you cannot heal him---you can only offer him the opportunity to try and share that healing together. It is up to him, and he may not be ready.

His 7th House is a crowded realm and kind of a dangerous place to enter, without keeping your head on a swivel.

So many layers, from the Plutonian depths of Libra, to the Mercury in Scorpio, and finally the Sun/Uranus.

The narrative of his 7th house Journey seems to be that the new partner 1st meets up with his Pluto. So they are mesmerised and loved up with his passionate powerful intensity.

And Venus follows quickly---so the Venus in libra honeymoon phase kicks in....

Then Mercury in Scorpio, at his core , is revealed. And he may test his partner, purposely, and using Scorpio type mind games, and challenges and metaphysical challenges. That Mercury is part of that Grand cross, which may be the wall that he puts up to protect himself emotionally, spiritually, etc.

Finally, if one gets past that Grand Cross at the gate, one enters the Uranus/Sun entrance to Saggitarius portal. Can you make it that far?
Thank you very much for noticing my journey. It has taken a long time and there has been a lot of change but I also have to be careful.

Yes, I cannot heal him. We will see. I will have to keep my head about me

What do you see may happen when you reach the Uranus-Sun Sagittarius portal? It seems exciting but unstable, it is his unfaithful side. To go through all those layers of intensity to reach this.

Last edited by Ukpoohbear; 10-06-2020 at 07:46 AM.
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