Hello I'm Vincent and I'm new to the community. Phoenixia question is of special interest to me, and I am not even sure what I was searching for regarding astrology but I ran into her question. One of the primary reasons your question is of special interest to me, is because we have such similar placements (the above chart is my own), and not so ironically we harbor similar concerns. I will not proclaim any special enlightenment as far as finding a mate, or if "we" (I will use we as sort of short hand because we are flowers of the same garden in a sense) are destined to be alone, however I do think I may have some measure of insight.
In this first response I want to start with the basic idea, that we are both early degree Libra, I am September 24, and Libra is often associated with 'the other' The sign said to govern marriage, partnership, and considering we both share Libra Pluto conjunctions as well, I was born in 1975, I think we tend to obsess a bit over the point of view of others, almost like detectives, we fluctuate between deep introspection constantly analyzing our own behavior, and comparing ourselves to others....
"Lately, I have been noticing around me people who didn't work on themselves, some who actually are really messed up and not very nice who somehow still seem to find what I haven't been able to find in my lifetime"
This can be an unhealthy habit, like a eating disorder, we need food, but food becomes the problem, with me and you, we need people, but other people may become our greatest joy, and our greatest sorrow, and comparisons like these, that often boggle me as well, overall are not always healthy. I say this with all due respect and as a person that can relate, nobody is responsible for our happiness, therefore, even people who don't seem to measure up, that still have life long partners, it may not be exactly good to be in their situation either, because let's face it, even when we find that special one, relationships open up it's own set of circumstance and problems. There is a saying, you can be alone, without being 'lonely'.
I have been largely celibate, and by myself for about three years, technically four. I am considered attractive by many as well, and I often feel on the outskirts, destined to be alone, and yet, I know that being alone has giving me insight into things, particularly in the town I am living in, where there is a very incestuous dating pool, it has kept me out of trouble. In the grand scheme, you never know why the universe has us place (you mentioned destiny) where we are, relationships not working can be for the greater good if we believe the soul's journey is always working it's way towards the greater good and what is for the better.
Another thing I would like to reference is that astrologer Philip Sedwick wrote exactly about us, and our perceived dating dilemmas, and the fact that we were born under a black hole known as 'The Super Galactic Center' and how the quest for the perfect relationship becomes sort of a holy grail to us, and I quote
Extreme cases of the Super-Galactic Center involve obsession with relationship. One of my favorite jokes told in contemporary comedy comes from a comic indicating that he paid a lot of attention to his former girlfriend, “Okay, so today they call it stalking,” he reports to the audience. Once one executes the interactive black hole dive, the attention placed upon the relationship seems never-ending, saturated and overwhelming. These reactions will be felt by both participants, more typically by the individual on the receiving end of the attention. It remains critical to remember that such relational involvements, from the point of view of a supermassive black hole, simply cannot be resisted. This has nothing to do with a lack of will. Somehow the soul determines that this interaction will serve the evolution immediately required, even if, and especially if, the relationship does not reach its expected emotional destination.
Relationship endings are particularly difficult for this galactic point. The pain seems to last longer and the healing process rivals any classic love tragedy. This effect exists only because the grieving partner placed total self-energy into the other person’s energy. A tear in the aura goes with the emotional anguish of separation. This energetic rip debilitates the person for a while. Appetite, energy and the ability to conduct daily life cease to exist. Other wounded parties exhibit the rebound characteristics with great relish. Here, they immediately seek another relationship guaranteed to fall infinitely short of the relationship just ended. This relationship slam dunk sets the individual back even further. But it does make the clear point that adding energy to a void that cannot adequately reciprocate, fails miserably.
Sexual intensity increases for these people. They promise the potential partner that they can meet their every sexual need in ways they haven't even begun to fantasize. The truth be known, they prepare to hook up their emotional/psychic vacuum cleaner to the partner and drink until the partner's energy fails. At this point, sexual interest disappears. The psychological spin looks like a person realizing that they can no longer support the intensity and creative fantasies that must exist to sustain the fires of passion. It sounds as though one person cannot uphold their end of the sexual bargain. The comment fired back in response sounds like , “Be careful what you wish for. You got it and can’t deal with it. If you can’t play the game, don’t suit up.” While intending to inspire the withdrawing partner to recommit to the relationship, guaranteed, the opposite effect results from this pressure.
Some persons connected to this Black Hole transmute the energy from relationship orientation to their career or even the purpose/destiny axis. This effort is more difficult to resolve because the justifications for the obsession make rational sense. They can portray themselves on the threshold of CEO-ness or sainthood. But they don't believe it. No salary can supplement this void. No salvation rendered to the needy can attend to the singularity pressure to define godliness in a profession. Married to a dysfunctional career, the divorce from work duties ultimately must occur. Ideally, this occurs through choice. If not, firing, layoffs, early retirement or company closures force the hand of healing.
Perhaps to this point, the picture of the Super-Galactic Center is grim. Really, it’s not grim at all. Usually, one experiences the liabilities of the singularity, playing out standard psychologies and basic human nature. One day, in timeless reality, it clicks. When the requirement of consciousness of the Super Galactic Center shines multiple light bulbs in a person’s head, their life changes on a dime.
When one shifts to the core meaning of the black hole and ceases the wrestling with the psychological considerations, the spiritual issue appears for healing. There is a soul mate. The first psychic I ever experienced in a reading told me that your soul mate never incarnates at the same time as you. Grinding your teeth over that one? Well, the point is that if one fully covalently bonds their spirit to their own physical being, then a marriage to self, the ideal Sacred Marriage occurs. This black hole does not define Sacred Marriage as the integration of female and male (listed alphabetically) sides. It does not give two hoots about the left and right brain. The essence of the black hole extends to that powerful point in space that ultimately consumes everything we know. Everything is headed here, like it or not. It might just be better to jump on the time/space curvature band wagon and beat the rush at the rapture. Simply, get inside yourself and deal with the good that it is you.
Regardless of if this Libran point works itself out as relationship, work or destiny, it dominates the life of one connected to it. Ultimately, the bottom line remains the same: the soul mate is sought. The truths be known any external kindred spirit, a.k.a. the soul mate, cannot be encountered until one completes the mating process with his/her own soul.
The good news is, in this reading, he also goes on to say, sometimes before our second Saturn return, we have a chance to become all that we really are, and we begin to not only heal ourselves, but take others on an amazing healing journey as well.
It's a pleasure to meet you Phoenixia and I will check back in on the discourse, and perhaps, we can figure this thing out, and maybe we will find some measure of peace.
Thank you astrologyweekly as well, interesting that I join a old school message board during Mercury retrograde, it always finds a way to take us back to earlier modes of communication. =)
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