Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

Abby83

Well-known member
Can someone please tell me what you would look for in a natal chart that shows a person attracting narcissistic types of ppl?

I was thinking a strong 12th house because narcissists tend to go after self sacrificing ppl for some reason. And also those 12th house planets aspecting either strong martian planets or martian houses that represent other ppl.

I think that the self sacrifier's lesson in meeting the narcissisist time and time again is to learn to love yourself and do what's best for you more than you already do.

What do you think.
 

demetraceres

Well-known member
I think the easiest pray for narcissists are people with personal traits of vulnerability, weak emotional boundaries, low self esteem,...

I'm not experienced in astrology, but I would say there are many indicators of this traits. Strong Chiron in hard aspects, Neptune in hard aspects to certain planets, certain positions of Venus, Moon, ... Among signs Cancer, probably Pisces,...

It would be interesting to hear other opinions. Providing there is an agreement what narcissism is.
 
I think the easiest pray for narcissists are people with personal traits of vulnerability, weak emotional boundaries, low self esteem,...

I'm not experienced in astrology, but I would say there are many indicators of this traits. Strong Chiron in hard aspects, Neptune in hard aspects to certain planets, certain positions of Venus, Moon, ... Among signs Cancer, probably Pisces,...

It would be interesting to hear other opinions. Providing there is an agreement what narcissism is.

http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=99154

Cancer will wise up and will then become stronger, Cancer is not a weak sign, outwardly when people know us we are soft, but we have massive armor.
 

Abby83

Well-known member
I think the easiest pray for narcissists are people with personal traits of vulnerability, weak emotional boundaries, low self esteem,...

I'm not experienced in astrology, but I would say there are many indicators of this traits. Strong Chiron in hard aspects, Neptune in hard aspects to certain planets, certain positions of Venus, Moon, ... Among signs Cancer, probably Pisces,...

It would be interesting to hear other opinions. Providing there is an agreement what narcissism is.

Bingo. I actually experience this which is why I started the thread. Throughout my life I get loads and loads of narcissists chasing me and I have to be rude and tell them to F off, but they still keep hovering around. I hate it. I try so hard to blo*ody avoid them and I want to get on with my life without them, but they keep putting themselves in front of me and staring at me all day it's driving me nuts!! Maybe they need purity from other genuine ppl cos they don't have it themselves.

It's true that they want to be around ppl with low self esteem cos it makes them feel better. I mean how many times have u seen narcissists who surround themselves with obese friends with marriage problems and no friends?
 

IleneK

Premium Member
Can someone please tell me what you would look for in a natal chart that shows a person attracting narcissistic types of ppl?

I was thinking a strong 12th house because narcissists tend to go after self sacrificing ppl for some reason. And also those 12th house planets aspecting either strong martian planets or martian houses that represent other ppl.

I think that the self sacrifier's lesson in meeting the narcissisist time and time again is to learn to love yourself and do what's best for you more than you already do.

What do you think.

To start with, it would be helpful to define what narcissist means, because it has a specific psychological definition.
As I understand that definition, I don't think narcissists discriminate as to whom they act upon. After all, it is all about themselves, not who they act upon. And self sacrificing people attract all kinds of people because of their concern for all others.

I would expect that people with poor self esteem tend not to attract many people, as that way of being tends to be off-putting.

It would be to whom those w/poor self esteem are attracted that may be the queston, and they are likely attracted to dominant types to help them. They might also be attracted to others with lower self esteem who they can help or dominate, as the case may be.

So I don't think narcissists are attracted to a particular type and that you may have had a string of unfortunate luck.
 
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IleneK

Premium Member
Look at houses 4 and 10. If someone keeps attracting narcissists, it's often because one of the parents was one.

Case histories might suggest that if your parent was as a narcissist, it is much more likely that you will BE one than you will attract one.
 

astrobunny

Well-known member
I'm not sure their would-be suitors can be classified as narcissists, but two of my cousins both have 12th house Mars and they attract selfish men to them like flames to moths.
 

AppLeo

Well-known member
I think people can attract narcissists if they have...

- harsh venus-neptune aspect
- lots of planets in the 7th house
- lots of planets in the 8th house
- lots of planets in the 12th house
- neptune aspects in general
 

Bina

Well-known member
People with strong Pisces or Neptune emphasis, when they lack boundaries or get into victim mode. :innocent:
 
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This is such an interesting thread topic. I have a tendency to attract those who are the manipulative type, guys and girls! Having planets in the 7th house is a good one, as your identity is seen through others, creating a permeable wall.

It would be interesting to hear what someone has who isn't a narcissist, and doesn't have victim-tendencies. Because the funny thing is, people like that can be around narcissist, vampire-types and come out of it un-scathed...or even turn the narcissist into the one doing the bidding for them. That makes the victim look even more delusional because not everyone is effected in the same way as everyone else by predator types.
 

graay ghost

Well-known member
Case histories might suggest that if your parent was as a narcissist, it is much more likely that you will BE one than you will attract one.


Source? Children of narcissists are often abused and have problems with intimacy and boundaries. They often have very evident behaviors that signify abuse. These are like a red carpet for other narcissists.
 

Abby83

Well-known member
Look at houses 4 and 10. If someone keeps attracting narcissists, it's often because one of the parents was one.

Oh thank you, this is very useful. The 4th ruler (dad) is in 1st house and he is self absorbed and has no time for anyone, but he still doesn't have those qualities of chasing you and talking about himself till no end and blocking you if you are in the spotlight and he's not overboard. But in relation to 4th house I do see step mum, and mother inlaw were narcs.
 

Abby83

Well-known member
To start with, it would be helpful to define what narcissist means, because it has a specific psychological definition.
As I understand that definition, I don't think narcissists discriminate as to whom they act upon. After all, it is all about themselves, not who they act upon. And self sacrificing people attract all kinds of people because of their concern for all others.

I would expect that people with poor self esteem tend not to attract many people, as that way of being tends to be off-putting.

It would be to whom those w/poor self esteem are attracted that may be the queston, and they are likely attracted to dominant types to help them. They might also be attracted to others with lower self esteem who they can help or dominate, as the case may be.

So I don't think narcissists are attracted to a particular type and that you may have had a string of unfortunate luck.

Here is the definition of narcissists I experience -

A person who wants every single person in the room of a party or school or church or shop or anywhere to think they are the most beautiful and interesting person there to look at and talk to and praise and pay attention to. A person who is extremely outraged and sick at the thought that there may be someone out there who is younger, smarter, wealthier, a better cook or better father, mother. Extremely bothered by the potential that someone out there may be liked more than them. They are terrible parents. They want so much attention they cant handle the youth and looks and love and happiness of their children and they try to bring the spotlight back to them and the ppl they attract and how amazing they think they were when they were kids too. The narc will get jealous of the kid's dating period and the sports and hobbies they are involved in because once again, the attention is not on them. The narc talks about themselves a lot. They are also hugely detrimental to their kids because instead of their kids being nurtured and loved and brought up to grow and learn for themselves, they are taught by the narc parent to spend all of their time and energy thinking about the narc. To serve the narc and to have the narcs best interests met. It is true that for some periods the parent will show what looks like love and care by buying the kids something nice, but it is only right before showing off to other ppl to show how apparently successful they are. The children of narcs suffer and as someone here mentioned they end up having intimacy issues and difficulty relating to others because they were trained to pay all attention to the narc or suffer greatly. The obsession of the narc is huge. I'm sure I have more to add but this is what pops out at me this time.

Now, to answer your question as to why I attract them - firstly, I'm extremely repulsed by them because I can see their false actions in their aim to get attention. That doesn't work with me. You cant fake it to get my attention, you have to be genuine, which a narc cant do. But maybe I'm here to teach them this. A lot of the times I see narcs doing bad behaviour to get attention and once again, I don't believe in rewarding them with attention if it is a bad behaviour. And funny enough, my son has taken after my mother in law (a narc) and we are working on his behaviour with the speech therapist and it is doing wonders. Now, back to what I was saying, Narcs hate me because 'I don't give them the attention they so desperately crave.' So that's why they keep chasing me. All these narcs in my life are in my 1st house. And me and my mum and brother and cousins are in the 12th house.

On the topic of self esteem, in my personal opinion I find narcs to have low self esteem because I think that if a person needs that much attention and needs to talk so much about themselves, then they are insecure. However at university they told me the opposite. They said that ppl who talk about themselves on a regular basis have high self esteem. Well, I just cant help but see the weakness. Maybe other ppl are fooled but I can see the weakness clearly.
 
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Abby83

Well-known member
I'm not sure their would-be suitors can be classified as narcissists, but two of my cousins both have 12th house Mars and they attract selfish men to them like flames to moths.
Yes partners in the 12th house is not good.

I think people can attract narcissists if they have...

- harsh venus-neptune aspect
- lots of planets in the 7th house
- lots of planets in the 8th house
- lots of planets in the 12th house
- neptune aspects in general

Thank you.

Case histories might suggest that if your parent was as a narcissist, it is much more likely that you will BE one than you will attract one.
Well I would have to say I'm a mixture of both parents. I've seen it go both ways. There are two parents and grandparents so the child can take after anyone. My mil (narc) had 4 children and only one of them is a narc but they all have problems relating to ppl. Funny how narcs can be. They can marry just for attention, not love, and convince through acting that they are in love. Then the partner suffers through the marriage when they discover who they really married. And then you get the narcs who think they are too good to be in a relationship.

People with strong Pisces or Neptune emphasis, when they lack boundaries or get into victim mode. :innocent:

I agree this is a possibility. 12th house and pisces seems to play a bit role. Perhaps because this sign wants to see the best in people and narcs think they can play around with that.
 

Abby83

Well-known member
This is such an interesting thread topic. I have a tendency to attract those who are the manipulative type, guys and girls! Having planets in the 7th house is a good one, as your identity is seen through others, creating a permeable wall.

It would be interesting to hear what someone has who isn't a narcissist, and doesn't have victim-tendencies. Because the funny thing is, people like that can be around narcissist, vampire-types and come out of it un-scathed...or even turn the narcissist into the one doing the bidding for them. That makes the victim look even more delusional because not everyone is effected in the same way as everyone else by predator types.

You know what? I have seen what kinds of ppl go well with narcs, and they are narcs themselves. Every single one of them. They seem to have respect for each other or maybe they just know they cant walk all over them so they find someone else to suck blood out of. So I'm thinking of a former friend who is a narc and when she came across another narc I knew I was amazed that they didn't even touch each other, and there was no tension at all, no jealousy, they just didn't go near. Amazing. Maybe they were too busy thinking about themselves and finding their next victim that they couldn't even see each other. It seemed as though they had respect for each other being narcs, which I don't. But this friend who was a narc, she only ever did what was best for her. She never let her husband see his mother, they did everything she wanted to do and nothing he wanted to do. It was a very one sided relationship like what I had with her until I broke it off. She doesn't know the meaning of compromise even though she tries to act like she does. Yet I'm someone who plays fair and likes equal relationships and I don't want my partner only doing what I want. that would make life pretty boring. but if this is what attracts narcs then I better put my narc shield up if I'm to get rid of them. Yay, I answered my mystery. Thanks :).
 
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Abby83

Well-known member
Source? Children of narcissists are often abused and have problems with intimacy and boundaries. They often have very evident behaviors that signify abuse. These are like a red carpet for other narcissists.

This is very true and unfortunate. I've seen many many cases of this.
 

Abby83

Well-known member
So now that I have all this info. I'm wondering if y'all can help me figure something out. If I am a 12th house libra and I experience a slow planet transiting through aries, the sign of narcissism in opposition to the scales, what do I do? I say this because as Uranus has transited through aries I have met unlimited amounts of narcs and being a peaceful compromising 12th house libra has not helped one bit. So what do u do? Become a narc during the transit so u don't get eaten alive?
 

IleneK

Premium Member
Source? Children of narcissists are often abused and have problems with intimacy and boundaries. They often have very evident behaviors that signify abuse. These are like a red carpet for other narcissists.

Narcissism is incredible self-involvement, all about the self, not others. It can be either grandiose or self-denigrating. Thinking you know everything, are always right, or the opposite.

So a traditional grandiose narcissist can have an abused, damaged child who is incredibly negatively self-focused on his or her damage, abuse. It is a negative narcissism, but narcissism, never the less. And it results in the inability to be close to anyone as you describe, just like the grandiose parent really can't get close, be intimate, with anyone. And both kinds of narcissists have boundary problems, neither type ever really knowing where their boundaries begin or end. Negative narcissists may be red carpets from grandiose ones, but they are both narcissists just the same.
 
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