Will my boyfriend's mother and I bond?

LovelyMissAries

Well-known member
Using 10th house from the 7th - L4 is Sun in Virgo in a critical degree and about to change signs into Libra where it will be in its fall. If SUN is in it's fall in LIBRA then is this her not liking her son's relationship with me? However, in about 2 weeks time Sun will conjunct Mercury in Libra, so perhaps her and I will come to an understanding. Honestly, if she's ruled by SUN / Leo energy it makes sense. She has been ruling the roost and it's just been my boyfriend, his sister, and her for the longest time and they've all depended on only each other. Sun in Libra seems weaker than Mercury in Libra to me too. As if Mercury is there just trying to use reason and logic, but Sun is full of pride and having to swallow it to "get along" - Libra.

I think with Sun being in Virgo, that means I'm receiving HER, right? Soon Sun will be in Libra and Venus in Leo and perhaps with that mutual reception and Mercury in Libra her and I will talk about my relationship with her son or we will have some kind of better understanding of the other. I'm also wondering if Sun in Libra / Venus in Leo will be a positive thing, but I get stuck on Sun being in fall. I'm Mercury and about to go retrograde, so perhaps there are some things I missed along the way that I'll have a chance to rectify. Additionally, I just realized the 4H in Virgo is intercepted, and I've read that interceptions mean it's a part that gets "ignored." So maybe she's annoyed I don't pay attention to her as much. Sun is sextiling Moon in 6H which is more Virgo energy. Perhaps it's also that we're both just very busy worrying about our own affairs, as that's part of what Virgo is about. His family is under a lot of stress (Sun in Virgo) because they're moving, but will be in between houses for an unknown amount of time. My boyfriend just had knee surgery and needs a second as well, so his resources (Saturn, Jupiter, Pluto in 8H) and literal physical body (turned 2H) are strapped at the moment.

 

Attachments

  • MotherInLaw.jpg
    MotherInLaw.jpg
    54 KB · Views: 28
Last edited:

IleneK

Premium Member
To me this is not very promising for the question, "Will my mil and I bond?" Makes me think you suspect not is it not very promising, or would have asked "When will mil and I bond?"

Leaving the question as it is, I would say it doesn't look encouraging? Her/sun's reception to you is averse, in fall, and e two of your primary significators are disjunct: no aspect; do not see each other.

But if the question is *when* would say not so soon; that maybe she doesn't see clearly who you are; what you are in relation to her son? However, if you pose the question as when, it leaves open the possibility for bonding in the future.

So what is your true underlying question?
 
LoveleyMissAries
Dear I Am using 5th house for the boyfriend. In a man's chart the 4th house rules the Mother, in general the Mother is the 10th house but because I see no connection betw planets to the traditional 10th and the querent am taking the 4th house (counting from the 5th house of the boyfriend, making the 8th H.C. with the stellium the Mother's house, and the family) for the gentleman's Mother to see if more light can be shed on the question.

These are the main significators I use with other factors intertwined.

You are the Querent (Mercury/Mars co-ruler with co-ruler Moon).

Querent Mercury, aspect to Quesited Mother ruler Saturn = Mercury in the 3rd of communication is square Saturn in the 8th of ending energy, secretive disposition = Mother, dignified and staunch Saturn in Capricorn in Mars/Pluto house. The 8th house rules physcial relationships, this will be a major contention the Mother has with the situation.

Aspects betw Moon and Querent Mercury, = sextile; I see the aspect as an opportunity energy to receive her in a gentile way through the boyfriend if you tell him your aims to siddle up (Mercury is conversation) to the Mother in the most congenial way. Moon is given all her aspects within the sign of Sagittarius and will enter the7th house of public relations where she will engage Mercury from-the conversation is put to the people in mind with open comraderie about association possibility? The opportunity to air any differences are give a a chance with the boyfriends help (you in his 5th house).

There is no aspect between the Moon (your co-ruler and the Mother Saturn. = ambivilance or a no answer.

Aspects (square) betw Querent Mercury & Mars (Mother), the Quesited Co-ruler of the 8th with co rulers Jupiter & Pluto. Mercury TOL from Jupiter, Pluto to Saturn with the square (obstacle). You and the boyfriend possibly know her views on open physical attraction issues, this is a major contention with the Mother.

Aspects betw Quesited Saturn and Querent Co-ruler Mars, is the square...she is smouldering about these issues and wants something more for her Son possibly, for you to appeal to him on a higher level of decorum? Mars rules your 6th house of habits, Saturn (with other planets) rules the Mother and the house of physcial communion 8th.

Moon Co-ruler and Co-ruler Querent Mars will experience the trine, the differences could be kept smoldering, but then at one point (When Moon enters 7th house) the conversation about the hopes (Mars in the 11th house, Moon in the 6th moving to the 7th, subject matters of the 6th house, those of your habits) will be out in the open. The higher course is the stance is the ground the Mother takes, Moon in Jupiter's sign, Jupiter in Capricorn in Fall.

Moon and Co ruler Quisited Moon wil make no aspect, she doesn't put the energy forth to engage in a conversation about these matters.

Moon's last aspect is to Mars by a trine (Male energies are Mars, but seeing how Mars rules the 1st house as your co ruler I would tread carefully if engaging her about matter)..the boyfriend initiating the conversation might be different., at first they will possibly not agree but the boyfriend may assert his rights to be himself, which will be upsetting to the Mother (Mars your co ruler-his male energy, square Saturn the Mother).

I don't see the situation improving at first attempts for there are underlying tensions, but the last aspect to the Moon being a trine is an impasse type of energy. The mode of enterchange in attitudes bc of habits you have with the boyfriiend-the Mother looking at these, will be swept under the carpet.

There will be pleasentries exchanged but the situation will remain tense.

Pleiades57:smile:
 
Last edited:

ElenaJ

Well-known member
The assignment of the house of the mother has had many discussions. I prefer to give the 4th to the mother, the 10th to the father. The 4th is home, family, nourishing cancer.
So let's see if it corresponds to the other observations?
Your boyfriend being 7th, Jupiter, is in his 2nd house, which is what you say about having expenses now to deal with, this is what he is concentrating on at the moment.
The 4th from the 7th is Aquarius, Saturn and Uranus, with intercepted pisces. So there is an outer coating of cool distancing, but the core is emotional. Neptune is there, very illusive, and exactly squares the ascendent, giving rise to the uncertainty about getting on with her, and maybe a little bit of deception on her part aimed at you. She inwardly squares the asc/des, not approving of the relationship.
You have north node on the ascendent, at 23 degrees, which is the degree you hold as your ruler, mercury. So, there is nothing you will be able to do about the situation, it has already been set in destiny.
Pisces co-ruler is Jupiter, also shared by your boyfriend, is he a "momma's boy?".
You are in her 8th house, she's worried you are eating up his money?
Your 11th of friends is Aries, with Chiron there, so lessons to be learned here.
Mars is there, retrograde approaching a square to Saturn. Conflict with her!
However, before this occurs, mars will receive a trine from Venus, in your 3rd house. And moon approaches a trine with Venus, completing a grand trine with Chiron. Your 5th, 3rd and 12th are involved. So your love, hidden resources and sweet words will reach mars of friendship and hopes for the future.
But not Saturn.
So, is all lost?
Not really. Her cusp is at 28 degrees, so will soon change, and bring to the frontline her sentimental pisces. Moon will next pass over the co-ruler, Jupiter.
Moon, the question, will reach her.
Mercury is in Jupiter's Face, while Jupiter is in mercury's terms, so there is a mutual reception to be built on.
Finally, we have sun ruling your 3rd of communication, so sunny and bright but maybe a little self-centred? Sun is about to change signs, entering the sign of libra, partnerships, not easy for sun but it will start to think along the lines of the "other", the partner. And in your 5th, relating to love.
Certainly not an easy straight forward relationship with her, but it can be worked out.
Give it time.
And remember that he and she are on the same team, so make your moves carefully.
 

LovelyMissAries

Well-known member
Sorry for the short answer, but yes he is a momma's boy. I don't think she hates me - she gave me stuff for cooking and let me help pack her expensive crystal. We've talked a few times, but we are very different people and not much in common so I keep my distance. I also think she had something to do with delaying us moving in together. Interesting you mention money because I've asked him before if she thinks I'm after that, but it was in a moment where we were both high so I don't know if he took it seriously. I also think she acts as his sister's defender. Do you see anything about the sister in the chart? I used 3rd from 7th as her and saw the triple conjunction in Capricorn in her turned 12th house and wondered if that was symbolic of more dislike.

I don't know them well enough to dislike them, but they have been through trauma and are close knit and untrusting, and that frustrates me because I have good intentions. I have told my boyfriend if his mother would like to speak to me directly when she doesnt like things that she can, but she continues to go through him. Mainly - she asked me not to spend the night during the weekdays (they all live together) and I believe was in his ear that it was too soon for us to move in together. Can I respect both rules? Yes, but do I agree with them? No. Do I think she is kind of controlling? Yes. And has she asked anything about me as a person? No. BUT, there are other things she's overwhelmed with right now and I'm not a priority. I go back and forth between being understanding of that.

ETA: My BF and I have had some bumps, and part of that involved them answering the door so I could speak to him, which I know he told them after. I imagine she didn't like that, but she's a Sag with an Aries moon so I was relying on her getting over it and letting it go 😬

ETA again: Elena, did you mean I'm being self-centered?
 
Last edited:

LovelyMissAries

Well-known member
To me this is not very promising for the question, "Will my mil and I bond?" Makes me think you suspect not is it not very promising, or would have asked "When will mil and I bond?"

Leaving the question as it is, I would say it doesn't look encouraging? Her/sun's reception to you is averse, in fall, and e two of your primary significators are disjunct: no aspect; do not see each other.

But if the question is *when* would say not so soon; that maybe she doesn't see clearly who you are; what you are in relation to her son? However, if you pose the question as when, it leaves open the possibility for bonding in the future.

So what is your true underlying question?

I guess "Does she like me?" However, I want her and I to bond better. It's just that I myself am not sure how easy that will be, for numerous reasons.
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
"Do you see anything about the sister in the chart?"

Interesting that the sister is ruled by Saturn, just like the mother.
And he by Jupiter, just like her intercepted pisces.
Yes, very close knit family. It would be difficult for anyone to enter the circle.

"I don't know them well enough to dislike them, .... because I have good intentions"

So if you know them better, you could dislike them? :)-)
You aren't self-centred, so much as moving towards them from your point of view. With all good intentions, you see yourself as the centre of your motivation, getting them to like you.
It will take time for them to get used to a new person being in their sphere. They need a lot of slack. You sound as though you are doing this somewhat, but you have to be patient and respectful, as though entering someone else's home and you always have to wipe you shoes and ask permission first before touching anything.

About him. He apparently is closely tied to her. So it will take time for him to turn towards you as his main partner. His habit, built over years, pushes him to her automatically.

When you say you are moving in, where exactly is this? Is it a place for you and him, separate from his family?
 

LovelyMissAries

Well-known member
Given recent events, I thought about this thread and wanted to update. After I helped them move some REALLY heavy stuff, and into long hours of the night, she has warmed up considerably. The sister has as well. We spent what I think was a nice weekend together at the lake now that they're a little settled. She talked and joked with me and told me about her life. Obviously it's in steps, but it's a big leap and bound compared to what it was.
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
This is very good news. Your life will be long, and if you are with her son, life will be that much easier for yourself and more rewarding with positive energy between you.
 

katydid

Well-known member
Given recent events, I thought about this thread and wanted to update. After I helped them move some REALLY heavy stuff, and into long hours of the night, she has warmed up considerably. The sister has as well. We spent what I think was a nice weekend together at the lake now that they're a little settled. She talked and joked with me and told me about her life. Obviously it's in steps, but it's a big leap and bound compared to what it was.

This really makes me happy. :love:
 
Top