How to diffuse my 8th house stellium energy

I'd like to know if there are any good ways to diffuse my 8th house energy. I understand 8th house is about joint resources, death/rebirth, and sex. Let's put sex aside, since I cannot get any from my wife, and I'm too old-schooled to even betray my wife in thoughts. My energy has been channeled into stock markets (joint finance/investment, or at least that's how I interpreted it), but because of my natal Saturn in 5th house, my luck factor is extremely low. I finally come to the point of realizing that I should stop destroying my personal finance. The question is then that how I can diffuse my 8th house energy through other ways.

I adjusted the transit/progression to 2021, when Pluto will conjunct my AC. I'm guessing that I may attempt to change my current career as an engineer. Is volunteering in hospitals a good way to diffuse 8th house energy? My natal Neptune and Jupiter positions force me to contemplate on Greater Good, and I've thinking to go into politics or charities as a career. But I'm not sure if a computer nerd like me can be competent in handling all the complexity in human relationships. Any comments?

I've published a personal finance e-book (not doing terribly well) since Chiron transited into my 2nd house. Is this an 8th house outlet, or can it be transformed into one?

Many thanks.

I personally would not attempt to discharge a lot of the 8th/sexual energy elsewhere, as into the attempts to gain investment profits. Nothing wrong with it, its just not a replacement for the acceptance of physical/emotional intimacy with another human being. In other words, 'money is no replacement for love.'

The real question - and issue - is why is the relationship with your wife non-sexual? I don't expect you to answer in this forum, but I'm pointing out that that is where the real issue is. If it were me, I would do something about that and rearrange things with her in some way so that you can have what you need.

Only a portion of the sex drive can be reallocated elsewhere without problems. Some people seem to have an abundance of libido, a good portion of which must be channeled elsewhere. The only real answer is to find a Creative Outlet, something that brings color and life. Fundamentally the sex drive is a creative force. The more outlets we have for it the better.

I wish I've figured out how to make my wife understand what anybody would understand easily. It has been N years now. It's like the one of the toughest life lessons that God has given me.

I checked my mid-point composite chart with my wife, and there is this Saturn loosely conjunct Venus of about 6.5 degrees. I would imagine that it's bad, but maybe it's not that bad. But the N years are soon becoming a percentage of my lifetime now. Anyway, let's not dwell on that.

Is there not any other outlets? I feel this Sun/Mars energy in my 8th very strongly (not to mention 3 other planets). It's simply my focus.

Thanks.

Hey astro_novice,

I know it's not a substitute for 8th house needs, but have you tried writing? I mean journalling? I find that helps, especially in the absence of sexual release, and when that overwhelms you... sometimes when you have somewhere to channel this in externalize it in a helpful way, in a way that acknowledges those needs but on paper, for you, it can be helpful.

I have a stellium in the 8th with saturn there, and I can go for a long time without sex if I have to, but it's never really easy. While not wanting to sound crude I do feel a build up of "energy" after a while and then it seems to sublimate into my thoughts as opposed to my body and that's when I know it's been too long...!

I know it's not ground-breaking but exercise also helps.

As an aside, and if you're interested, we've been discussing 8th house stelliums here: http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=52142

There's also an 8th house social group on here if you'd like to join

The other thing to ask you is what is the "energy" you feel needs to be diffused? What is it and how does it feel, if you don't mind my asking...? Is it sexual energy, or an obsessional drive that needs channelling and focusing etc?

Nice to see another 8th Stellium. I agree with Kanon that you should consider reconciliation with your wife as having someone that close to you all the time takes alot of physical & mental energy due to stress.

8th emphasis & esp Pluto in 8th does create alot of sexual obsession & the idea behind sexual energy is Utilization. The many areas ruled by (house of) Scorpio uses this form of power- Psychology,sex, religion.
Mars rules sex so all the Martian techniques regulate this energy- Sports, Military, surgery etc.

Being a fellow native, I am celibate but channel my creative energy constructively into all the mentioned areas esp health & profession. Best advise is to regularly work out. Join a sport you enjoy, walk/jog 3-5times /week or hit the gym. With Mars-Saturn conjunction you should think of Yoga- it exerts but doesn't force the body & is really good for this aspect esp Kundalini Yoga which uses sexual energy to raise the consciousness.
If you belong to a formal religion, try praying or turn to spiritualism. It should help you cultivate your neptune as well. It surely helps with mine.

Kannon said:

I personally would not attempt to discharge a lot of the 8th/sexual energy elsewhere, as into the attempts to gain investment profits. Nothing wrong with it, its just not a replacement for the acceptance of physical/emotional intimacy with another human being. In other words, 'money is no replacement for love.'

The real question - and issue - is why is the relationship with your wife non-sexual? I don't expect you to answer in this forum, but I'm pointing out that that is where the real issue is. If it were me, I would do something about that and rearrange things with her in some way so that you can have what you need.

Only a portion of the sex drive can be reallocated elsewhere without problems. Some people seem to have an abundance of libido, a good portion of which must be channeled elsewhere. The only real answer is to find a Creative Outlet, something that brings color and life. Fundamentally the sex drive is a creative force. The more outlets we have for it the better.

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Absolutely agree!!
You can't hide with the 8th house, it can be channelled elsewhere for a while.....but like the imaginary monsters under the bed, they won't go away until acknowledged and faced with sincerity and truth from the heart.
The monsters WILL get bigger and start to distort other areas of life, in my opinion.
Pluto wants you to delve deep and he won't give up until you do!
Something may die in the relationship, in order for something better to be reborn. A stronger, newer emergence will come.
Like a phoenix from the ashes.
If you and your wife are to get beyond, then both of you need to fight for the relationship.
If the communication has broken down between you two, then I think and feel a third party could help you both, ie, a marriage therapist.
I have been where you are.
No pain, no gain!

astro_novice said:

Is volunteering in hospitals a good way to diffuse 8th house energy? My natal Neptune and Jupiter positions force me to contemplate on Greater Good, and I've thinking to go into politics or charities as a career. But I'm not sure if a computer nerd like me can be competent in handling all the complexity in human relationships. Any comments?

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Yes! Do it.

I notice that your chart lacks planets in any of the emotionally expressive Water signs, plus the combination of Virgo and Capricorn tends to come across as being rather "dry" and unemotional... not that you ARE unfeeling (with a bunch of planets in your 8th, there may be volcanic emotions), but you do keep a tight rein on expressing your emotional side, kind of uptight.

Plus, your planets are arrayed in a Bowl pattern between Jupiter and Saturn, and just eyeballing the chart, the Bowl's midpoint is very close to your Moon, which tells me that you're very protective of your emotional side. So: you need to let it out, free it up.

When I looked at your chart, I thought of a need to be of service to others -- which is an excellent way to channel Virgo planet energies -- maybe through volunteer work. Then I read your post. I think you're on the right track to volunteer at a hospital and/or work with charities. Get involved with other people in whatever ways you can. I think that responding to other people's needs would be very rewarding for you.

The 8th house energy at least right now is expressed through my investing activities due to no other good ways. I just don't want to spend so much time on this anymore due to my Saturn luck in 5th. The amount of time/energy that I spend could easily reach 30 hours if not more. It's almost like I'm driven to it.

I think writing is good. Most of the time, I feel like I just need to distract myself. But obviously sex is a need. Distraction can only work for so long. I started a journal for the time that I feel very bad, writing letters that will never be sent out. I'm going to try again this year to talk to my wife. It's just a problem in our relationship that can be hidden, but won't go away. Pluto in my 8th partially means hidden secret for 8th.

I'm very "dry" or having a lack of water element for sure. Being a Virgo Sun, I define the meaning of my life as service to others. But because I'm very unemotional on surface, I haven't been so sure about my dream of serving more people through charity or politics (although my stellium in 8th allows me to have the extra antenna to feel all the suffering and/or 6th sense insights into others' psychology). Frankly, I'm just not good with people (my whole life so far), or maybe I need more practices.

Thanks for all the suggestions/comments. Pluto going thru my 12th and upcoming Uranus through my 3rd may probably lead me to my life calling. My Fires are mostly about Jupiter and Neptune, with Venus in the intercepted sign of Leo which appears to be limited/contained. This weekend, I just found out the story about Peace Pilgrim, a real woman who walked for 28 years for the cause of peace. I hope one day I can be one tenth of that woman, having be able to look back and tell myself that I didn't waste my life on Earth.

I must put my Sun energy to good use. I just don't know the suitable venue yet.

Thanks. I joined the 8th house group.

I'm really confused about the reason you are ignoring all the years until 2021. Working on one's life is the way one becomes more successful in all areas of one's life.

We work on our lives moment to moment, hour to hours, day to day, month to month.....
We don't live in limbo and then expect something magic to happen at some hypothetical time.

The 8th house rules therapy....especially marriage counseling.
I would begin there.
If you love your wife, that is the way to go. If you don't, or she no longer loves you, you may want to float the idea of letting each other go in order to have more fulfilling lives with others or alone.

The 8th house is Pluto's house. And when it has lots of energy in it, one can become obsessive - compulsive. If this describes you, maybe you need to get some help on your own FIRST before having marriage counseling.

But pretending the years between now and 2021 have no meaning and can't change everything is very Neptunian (delusional.)

You can be as old fashioned as you like, and the most traditional aspect of partnership is that everything is undertaken TOGETHER. If you have, on your own, compromised your financial structure, you have already broken your marriage vows.

Get help.
LIN

In a way, yes, I'm a bit delusional/unrealistic in some of my thinking. What you said is right.

Working on one's life is the way one becomes more successful in all areas of one's life.

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My wife does not (want to) read my emails, does not want to talk to counselors, does not want to talk to doctors, does not want to discuss this "non-problem" with her best friend, does not want to research this "non-problem" on internet, does not want to read any books on this topic to understand. She and I are playing victim/martyr. If I don't get my way, I'm the victim. If she yields, she is the martyr. Nobody would win at all, even though I have the short end of the stick for the last N years, almost as long as my children's age.

That is the Pluto/power struggle, a passive aggression. She now agrees to try to play the "martyr" role, but I don't know how to play the victor role. Sex without love is tasteless. To her, I want to build my happiness upon her vaginal pain, but we never even come close to try it for so many years now since my second child was conceived.

I can no longer give happiness to my whole family in a constant state/cycle of depression and frustration. My kids are afraid of me, because they say, I'm always in a bad mood. My nickname is Cloud.

Her 8th house Jupiter transit is almost over, and nothing at all comes out of it (actually, we did buy a house held in our names, and so astrology is still correct). My wife has a tendency of escapism, preferring not to look at the problems at all. Last year, I gave her the "divorce" word, made her cry for a moment, and shook her out of her complacency. Still nothing happened. I realized that nothing would ever happen, and things will be forever unhappy, if I don't take any actions.

Sorry for all the rant. I'd like to get HELP. It's just so hard to work with my wife, and she refuses ALL third parties, and basically all means of self-help/communications.

With whole signs, your 9th house is the packed one not the 8th. However, Venus is still in the 8th in 0 degree saying that you really WANT closeness. Almost to an impatience. This can actually be satisfied through career or some organization that you feel has some 'say'...also through friends and goals. Idealistic friends, people that are open minded and figuring out goals/wishes in life possibly through a larger institution or as I said somewhere you can wield some power or make some change.

All those other planets, in the 9th, scream 'freedom!!!'...freedom to travel, explore, talk, fly. Discuss. But it is severely afflicted by your home life or child hood in some manner as well as your subconscious (what is holding you back from attaining freedom?)...In Childhood you may have noticed a lack of freedom and perhaps had a big imagination to escape the home. Therapy would be good right now with Pluto right over the ascendant! Individual therapy.

Robert Hand uses whole sign houses, and I never really figured out whether whole sign or Placidus works better. Both systems actually describes myself pretty well, but just in two different totally perspective in a sense, not that I'm a split-personality person.

If you look at my 8th Placidus house as a 9th whole sign house stellium, my 9th house becomes the long mind-journey, where I actively pursue religion/philosophy/science far beyond anybody in my age since childhood. I hold two independent bachelors and two master's degrees in engineering.

But in that case, my Uranus moves to 10th house. But I'm more of a INTJ personality-type, and prefer to stay in background. I never really gives any serious thoughts of being a leader of any sorts. If Uranus is in my 9th Placidus, it becomes my un-orthodox religious views that don't really fit into Buddhism or Christianity, but something closer to Hinduism. In a way, I had to create my own religion. Then my 10th Placidus house becomes occupied by Neptune, and hence my confusion about my career, and also my idealistic goals for my career.

The "freedom" in 9th whole-sign house is the spiritual liberation from this materialistic world that I pursue. I have no memory of my childhood of less than 6 years old, so I cannot comment on that.

In a way, I've always found that whole sign describes myself at the soul/spirit level, while Placidus describes myself at the material plane. What is happening to myself in the world however appears to best described by Placidus, using which I can even time the Placidus house boundary correctly using transits almost to the day.

In a strange way, my difficulty in the 8th in the material plane always pushes me further into 9th in my inner psyche. But I don't know if this sort of things also happen to others with a very late Ascendant degree.

I think that marriage is like any job If it isn't working, you're allowed to quit - sorry to be so blunt.
And if the religious issue bothers you It's only a sacrament when there is love and obviously she doesn't love you. People who love each other WORK at the job of Marriage.

I have no idea why you are still married. Using the "being old fashioned" as a reason makes absolutely no sense.
I believe you and she need to release each other to move on. Your incompatibilities are obviously impossible to overcome without outside help and she won't "go there."

If you want some of our views on a time (frame) when an ending might be practical and advantageous, maybe you could put up a composite chart.
(but still mystified why the gap of 10 years in your original transit chart. That is not the way astrology works!)
LIN

I've attached the mid-point composite chart just FYI. The chart has trines & sextiles mostly, except that Saturn conjunct Venus, and a couple of squares.

My wife is making a renewed "effort" since I told her the "ultimatum". I hope it would take less than 0.5 year before I see any results.

I think my wife loves me still. But months turned into years. And years turned into a decade. I feel sad when I count the days. Why she doesn't understand that most man in this situation would walk away years ago is just beyond me.

I've finally come to this point of extreme accumulated unhappiness to deliver my ultimatum. I think my wife really gets it this time around. I hope we have hit the bottom, and will be on the way up gradually.

What has happened since this last post astronovice?

At least we are trying (depending on how you define trying)....

In respect to this "department", anything would be better than nothing. I don't have any high hope. I'm just glad that there is a glimmer of hope. But of course, it was the false hope that I held onto for so many years that got me to the state of despair.

Maybe everything in life always needs to hit the absolute bottom before turning up. I just hope that now the direction is up, not down anymore.

Do you talk this openly with your wife too? I think you should do it, without using the 'you' this, 'you 'that'.. But with talking about your emotions.
The key to a succesful marriage is communication.
For example, not: 'you leave me unsatisfied in bed', but 'I feel myself unsatisfied'.
You will see that that will do a lot!

If you want change, start to change your behavior.
A sudden change of behavior is a must, even if it does not feel real, you must do this to receive reaction. When you behave on another way then you usually do, this will shake up some fixed patterns in your relation to each other. Your wife and children will appreciate this. Cause there is a need of change..
I mean.. There is a reason why your kids call you the Cloud.

If you don't feel dominant and male enough in opposite to your wife, than you should act more dominant. Women are complicated, I bet she even could be turned on by this behaviour.

You need to act like this, even if it's not you. Because I feel that you are using your power against your children, to feel satisfied about your manhood.

And try to be more gentle and playful with your children, this will attract your wife even more.

Flirt again with your wife, buy her flowers, surprise her by sending her a text message while you are on work, date her again. I guess you are too much stiffled at home. You need to change your environment sometimes, to relate better to each other.
Let her feel a girl again. BUT do all this on a manly way, not on a soft way.
This means: Be gentle, but brave and confident..

I'm a graduated counsellor (still not working), and studied psychology for 3 years, and these are stuff I remember from the courses.

My wife is very "watery". With my Jupiter thru 5th house, it's helping the relationship.

Yes, I do think that part of the problem is me as well. I am too "dry" obviously. But even though my wife is "watery", she won't discuss about my feeling for even one second, and I don't appreciate that at all. Last time when I bring it up, she said something like "just leave the sad past behind". But that's more than a decade of my life! And so I just shut down & shut up totally for a day or two. There was no point of communicating.

I'm very dominant in our marriage, in almost all (other) matters. I don't want to be a moody dad who is dreaded by my children sometimes. But sometimes I just can't help it when I'm really down due to my state, a constant repetitive cycle through frustration and unhappiness that sinks deeper and deeper. I'm at the deadest dead-end, because I can't get it, and I still absolutely refuse to get it from anywhere else, and even in my thoughts. That is I refuse to commit adultery in my thoughts.

I will take your advice to heart. It appears that I just need to appear less serious and more playful, even when that is not me, with the natal Saturn in my 5th.

But anyway, I hope to get to somewhere. Thanks.