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Horary Questions on Relational Issues For horary questions about relationships.


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  #1  
Unread 08-08-2021, 08:17 AM
kai kai is offline
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Should I divorce/leave my husband?

Hi all. My husband often criticizes me ranging from my weight (not overweight but i do have a few extra pounds though I am tall so I'm not seen as overweight), he seems to be aggressive in his personality which I don't like and overall, i don't often feel comfy being around him because he flips out quickly and has anger issues plus he's more of 'i don't give a f...' type of person about everything and I'm not like that so that part of him also bothers me. I feel like we are not that compatible and i need peace around me because he gets upset over eating out too if the food isn't up to his standards (he likes to eat at home), he gets easily irritated and doesn't have an issue running my enjoyment of my dinner. I already kicked him out for a different reason once but he crawled right back. He doesn't want to go and says so but i feel like my peace as well as a relaxed atmosphere in my house is what i need. We also get into petty bickering often which gets on my nerves. I wanted to know if I should leave him for good cause i told him to leave once he finds a room and he said he will but i feel like he doesn't want to go and says so but he doesn't even change so.....i don't want to be around someone who constantly criticises me as i don't want to feel like I'm feeling down because of someone else often. It's like I'm always doing things not right so that feeling gets tiring. When I kicked him out for a different reason, part of me felt relaxed and at ease but definitely disappointed that i can't seem to make relationships work especially marriage and i got disappointed with myself that marriage isn't fit for me as i keep meeting wrong men. I also don't feel confident when someone is being aggressive around me so the fact that he flips off makes me not feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't like the 'tense' feeling even when there's no reason for me to feel that way. For example, i often try not to say something that i don't like seeing just for the fact not to get him upset yet he doesn't have an issue expressing his own feeling as I don't slip myself trying to keep peace. I try to ease things when he gets upset and when i get upset i keep it inside me not to argue so that one sided attempt on my end is also bothering me as i bottle up inside me these tense and negative feelings that i do not express. I am 38 now and he is 44 and doesn't even want a kid (doesn't have any yet) while i do and he keeps saying that when he gets a truck is when h will start earning well and will think about it but that he isn't into changing diapers and he will be in and out and not be around the kids too much as he doesn't want the responsibility of a baby problems. Since I want a child and I know that my parents will help out, i feel like why even bother having it with him when I can do it on my own and enjoy it having the necessary help around and let him be without a kid which one day he will regret for sure. Since he keeps talking negatively of me, I feel like why even stay with me as I'm the only one who keeps wanting out of this marriage and i told him if I'm so bad then why ar you keep staying? Makes no sense. Also, I'm tired of being the scapegoat. He makes me feel like I'm no good and the only positive thing he says is that I'm a good person yet he might turn around in a few minutes and say that i can ***** him up at any minute as I'm that type of person LOL so even in such situation it's not clear whether I'm a good person as he says or not )))

at this point i feel like marriage is so hard, perhaps relationships in general. regarding the chart, i see that moon, my emotions are in detriment which is obvious and that I'm flowing away from him as venus, me, is faster moving planet.
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  #2  
Unread 08-08-2021, 08:36 AM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Should I divorce/leave my husband?

I dont see any connections between Venus and Mars and you are moving ahead and away. You will be opposing Jupiter, so maybe you will officially separate?
Jupiter is government documents...

It doesn't sound like things are going to change in the marriage. Having kids with him would be a big mistake, in my opinion. Better to use a sperm bank or a friend thats wants to be a father, than this man.

I don't think it would be a good thing to have him in your life for the next 18 years.

But isn't he here on a marriage visa? Is that what the opposition to Jupiter is about?
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  #3  
Unread 08-08-2021, 08:51 AM
kai kai is offline
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He moved here 4 months ago and got his green card alreadyÖwhen I kicked him out he promised that he will change but he hasnít changed maybe like 1%ÖIm tired of bickering about petty stuff and his executive personality. Iíve told him to leave a few times and even though he has his green card, he tries to kiss my but. To make up and we do then it starts again when things are good but he flips about something and I get discouraged again regarding having him in my life. He does have positives but I really canít stand his flip outs as they make me uncomfortable. I did a lot for him that I now regret. I do want to have a baby on my own since heís not too crazy about kids yet I do see him always looking at babies with a smile outside but he doesnít want to be dealing with the noise and sleepless nights .
Regarding the marriage visa I must mention that he got his 10 year visa a month ago or so so heís set with his documents and he doesnít need the marriage to keep it so I donít understand why he keeps kissing my but. And tries to patch things up a sim the only one who wants to tan away from him sometimes. He likes to lecture me about everything and I donít want to be dealing with his lectures when he needs some himself. He gets apologetic every time I tell him that itís over between us.


Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid View Post
I dont see any connections between Venus and Mars and you are moving ahead and away. You will be opposing Jupiter, so maybe you will officially separate?
Jupiter is government documents...

It doesn't sound like things are going to change in the marriage. Having kids with him would be a big mistake, in my opinion. Better to use a sperm bank or a friend thats wants to be a father, than this man.

I don't think it would be a good thing to have him in your life for the next 18 years.

But isn't he here on a marriage visa? Is that what the opposition to Jupiter is about?

Last edited by kai; 08-08-2021 at 08:56 AM.
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  #4  
Unread 08-08-2021, 04:51 PM
blackbery blackbery is offline
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Re: Should I divorce/leave my husband?

Hello Kai,

With both at the bottom of the chart, this marriage too has reached rock-bottom!

He sounds extremely emotionally abusive towards you. Better to be alone than with a negative person like that who eats away at your self-esteem.

There is no reception no connection with you & him.

If you have a child with him, he'll be in your life for 18 yrs, do you want that?

There are many options if you want a child alone. Adoption, etc.

Has he been violent? Maybe sneak out one day with all your stuff to your parents but ensure you have at least one person with you in case he tries to stop you.

May you be blessed with knowing true love one day.

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  #5  
Unread 08-08-2021, 06:19 PM
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IleneK IleneK is offline
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Re: Should I divorce/leave my husband?

Hi, kai and sorry for these difficulties.
Your unhappiness is clearly reflected by your significator, Venus, in its fall. And your feelings toward him/Mars also aptly negative by Venus' adverse reception to Mars. I don't know if you should get a divorce, but if the question were, "Will we stay together?" I think this chart says no. You/Venus separate from him/Mars. Moon is very weak, no light at approaching new moon, so not sure if there is energy to move divorce forward? But it looks like you are walking away. You will have to decide if you want to make that permanent.
__________________
Ilene

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  #6  
Unread 08-08-2021, 06:35 PM
kai kai is offline
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Re: Should I divorce/leave my husband?

Thanks guys as always I really appreciate your help. I definitely donít want a kid from him now anymore as I prefer to go about it alone.
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  #7  
Unread 08-08-2021, 07:38 PM
The Everqueen The Everqueen is offline
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Re: Should I divorce/leave my husband?

Uranus on your ascendant is noticeable showing instability and problems in your situation. It can also show divorce and separations.
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