What in my chart could indicate a fear of being forgotten?

Here is my chart:

Saturn in the chart relates to embedded fears, and Pluto also has to do with it...sorry, couldn't view your chart...you need to post it here

Forgotten in what way? After you die, that you ever existed? Forgotten by whom? Your close ones or the world in general? Have you had this tendency since you can remember, or did it start at some point in your life?

You could mild down such fear with doing something meaningful for someone. Or by doing art, expressing yourself to the world.

Your Moon (emotions, attachment) in 8ght house (penetrates to subconciousness) is squaring Neptune which is the planet of shared consciousness and dreams. Also you have Pluto squaring your mars and Sun, which could indicate long lasting fear of self expression. Pluto is also "aided" by trine to Saturn (generally has to do with fear) and sextile to neptune.

kimbermoon said:

Saturn in the chart relates to embedded fears, and Pluto also has to do with it...sorry, couldn't view your chart...you need to post it here

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I uploaded it, sorry!! Thanks for your info, I guess it could be my Sun sq Pluto and Mars sq Pluto

raqun said:

Forgotten in what way? After you die, that you ever existed? Forgotten by whom? Your close ones or the world in general? Have you had this tendency since you can remember, or did it start at some point in your life?

You could mild down such fear with doing something meaningful for someone. Or by doing art, expressing yourself to the world.

Your Moon (emotions, attachment) in 8ght house (penetrates to subconciousness) is squaring Neptune which is the planet of shared consciousness and dreams. Also you have Pluto squaring your mars and Sun, which could indicate long lasting fear of self expression. Pluto is also "aided" by trine to Saturn (generally has to do with fear) and sextile to neptune.

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Forgotten by my close ones, and yes, I remember being very little and always crying that everyone would leave me. I was always so scared!!

I wonder what you mean by "long lasting fear of self expression". Interestingly enough, I feel pretty uninhibited when it comes to expressing myself; though my friends are pretty quick to try and stifle it. I would figure outside forces would be indicated more through an opposition.

Thanks for your interpretation!!! It makes sense

A question, by the way, for anyone: What would cause experiences of depersonalization?? I often get flashes of depersonalization which is essentially where you feel unreal and disconnected from your body or like you're is not completely occupying the body..." not feeling in control of one's speech or physical movements; and feeling detached from one's own thoughts or emotions; experiencing one's self and life from a distance; a sense of just going through the motions; feeling as though one is in a dream or movie; and even out-of-body experiences."

I am prone to anxiety attacks and they are often accompanied by a sense of depersonalization, which is common to panic attacks. Sometimes lately I get just the depersonalization or a very small, brief panic attack with depersonalization. Is the source the same? I'd imagine that it could be attributed to my Pisces Sun/Mars... Pisces Saturn(illusionary reality)... and Moon sq Neptune of course. Is there anything further??

Since the a.m. Moon 90 Nept is your Moon's tightest aspect (39 min), you would benefit from loving this frenemy a little more than your posts suggest is the case (it is clearly, mostly representative of your depersonalization spells - with Moon loosely conjunct Nept I recall these spells from my teens and 20's - but not after).

The anxiety spells are represented by your septile series triangle among Sun/Mars-Merc-Moon (orbs ranging from 20 min to 1.57 degrees). It doesn't help also that your chart's tightest aspect is Merc 45 Sat (19 min) (I recently had this by transit and couldn't find my positiveness for that time being).

Each of your Moon and Merc have aspectual tools for getting handles on these spells if that's what you want (Merc 30 Jup at 39 min orb can be invoked to feel the mental joy of pure expansion and the looser Moon 30 Sat will lend your "person" stability).

I would say your Gemini Midheaven would account for that fear, especially with Leo in the 12th.

Having Saturn (Disappointment, fears) in the 7th house of Partnerships and Close Relationships will have a lot to so with this. Saturn is also in Pisces (the more sensitive sign) So it indicates you are very sensitive to this matter.

This is just my interpretation.

fear of being forgotten and depersonalized...these go hand in hand with each other especially denoted by Saturn in Pisces. You lack a sense of true grounding from the past. Pisces carries a strong inner need to belong in very close connections with others; otherwise they feel disconnected and disoriented and adrift in a sea of their own perceptions. Saturn is not so subtle in this sign; it shows what is lacking in life in terms of emotional needs. On the level of the psyche you are disturbed by past childhood memories, and this keeps you disoriented in the material world. The 4th house depicts the past, which is carried forth into the future, even in adulthood, on a subconscious level. It is that which is within that you need to address, in order to regain your sense of worthiness and power in the outer world. Hints: Pluto to Sun/Mars...significant power issues relating to the father; exposure to anger, or possible violence when young; your own sense of confidence and worthiness were diminished significantly by something in the past and this something needs to be recognized and released from your consciousness. Was the father a strict disciplinarian who kept you under control in certain ways?
We look further to the affliction of Jupiter from the 4th house; square Venus and the Moon...this brings in the influence of the mother as well, as being extremely significant to your development in ways that affected your sense of confidence and self-esteem. You were born under the waxing phase of the Moon, and this often results in a consciousness that is full of trepidation, or wonder, about moving into the future. This represents she who is being initiated, and that comes with a lot of fears and uncertainty as well. Jupiter is supposed to bring comfort and benefit, but as an afflictor it brings exaggeration and excess, with things not being kept in proportion. Your mother's influence, as well as your experience of love was somehow distorted by this as well.

Krewster said:

Since the a.m. Moon 90 Nept is your Moon's tightest aspect (39 min), you would benefit from loving this frenemy a little more than your posts suggest is the case (it is clearly, mostly representative of your depersonalization spells - with Moon loosely conjunct Nept I recall these spells from my teens and 20's - but not after).

The anxiety spells are represented by your septile series triangle among Sun/Mars-Merc-Moon (orbs ranging from 20 min to 1.57 degrees). It doesn't help also that your chart's tightest aspect is Merc 45 Sat (19 min) (I recently had this by transit and couldn't find my positiveness for that time being).

Each of your Moon and Merc have aspectual tools for getting handles on these spells if that's what you want (Merc 30 Jup at 39 min orb can be invoked to feel the mental joy of pure expansion and the looser Moon 30 Sat will lend your "person" stability).

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Thanks for your detailed response!!! I never realized the small aspects meant so much, but I guess if they are tight aspects then they would have a big impact!! Glad to have learned this

Thanks for the helpful tips. I never realized the Merc/Jup contact was that important but it explains a lot!!! I always get really excited and passionate and happy when I think about life and all the cool things on earth. Sounds like it's going to be one of my favorite aspects!! And I hope you're right with the Moon/Sat thing

fifteen said:

I would say your Gemini Midheaven would account for that fear, especially with Leo in the 12th.

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That's true, that would make sense!! Thanks

kimbermoon said:

fear of being forgotten and depersonalized...these go hand in hand with each other especially denoted by Saturn in Pisces. You lack a sense of true grounding from the past. Pisces carries a strong inner need to belong in very close connections with others; otherwise they feel disconnected and disoriented and adrift in a sea of their own perceptions. Saturn is not so subtle in this sign; it shows what is lacking in life in terms of emotional needs. On the level of the psyche you are disturbed by past childhood memories, and this keeps you disoriented in the material world. The 4th house depicts the past, which is carried forth into the future, even in adulthood, on a subconscious level. It is that which is within that you need to address, in order to regain your sense of worthiness and power in the outer world. Hints: Pluto to Sun/Mars...significant power issues relating to the father; exposure to anger, or possible violence when young; your own sense of confidence and worthiness were diminished significantly by something in the past and this something needs to be recognized and released from your consciousness. Was the father a strict disciplinarian who kept you under control in certain ways?

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You're so right that I was a little spooked and even teared up. (God **** you Neptune )

About my father, my father was a very, very controlling man. I guess he was so afraid to lose the things he loved that he packed them up as tightly as he could. He loved me and my mom very, very, very much, but he was also very ill as he was an alcoholic suffering from undiagnosed bipolar disorder. He did not like my mom spending time with anyone but him. He was not necessarily the most controlling of me, but he wouldn't even permit my mom to see her other children she had before my dad and her got together. (My siblings). He was very cruel to my siblings, and I think this might be signified by Pluto being in my 3rd house of siblings?? He was violent and angry a lot and my mom and I actually had to escape to a women's shelter 5 times from the time I was born until I was 8 and a half. He was especially cutting and cruel with his words. (Once more, third house?) The last time he and my mom got into a fight before we left for good, he pushed my pregnant sister up a flight of stairs and was shoving my mom around and getting in her face yelling at her, so I tried to break them up, but couldn't, and he got in my face and then yelled at me. My mom got out but I ended up being carried back in by my father and he closed and locked the door and I couldn't get out to be with my mom. I was absolutely terrified and I was crying and pounding on the door to get out, so I guess I felt controlled and exposed to violence early on. He did let me out after.

We look further to the affliction of Jupiter from the 4th house; square Venus and the Moon...this brings in the influence of the mother as well, as being extremely significant to your development in ways that affected your sense of confidence and self-esteem. You were born under the waxing phase of the Moon, and this often results in a consciousness that is full of trepidation, or wonder, about moving into the future. This represents she who is being initiated, and that comes with a lot of fears and uncertainty as well. Jupiter is supposed to bring comfort and benefit, but as an afflictor it brings exaggeration and excess, with things not being kept in proportion. Your mother's influence, as well as your experience of love was somehow distorted by this as well.

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I'm not sure what this could mean!! Do you have any suggestions as to like examples?? Thanks so much!!

Really, thank you though for your detailed reply!!! It means a lot. I would never have thought of these factors myself!!