Why isn’t he reaching out? Our significators sextile; this chart is confusing me.

LittlexxMoon

Active member
Link to chart image: https://ibb.co/dWb7ZNB

We will call him a romantic friend for now, as I have no idea where it’s going but it’s more than just friends. I’m quite confident that however it plays out, we will remain close friends. I have known him for years but it’s just the last several months we have gotten extremely close. Recently, the general energies have been tough and I felt him pull away. We all need our space (and I know he definitely does) so I’ve been honoring that but it’s crossed my mind, “Why isn’t he reaching out?” The communication lately has been horrible and he’s left me hanging so much; it’s confusing.

The ruler of the ascendant, Virgo, is Mercury which is in the third house with Venus. Mercury is 00°—Is this impactful? This romantic friend is not my partner, so I don’t think I should use the 7th house? I use the 5th house because we are definitely more than friends but nothing is official. I think about our connection which is filled with creative energy and it’s growing over time. If I had to describe our connection right now, it would be 5th house energy. The 5th house cusp is Capricorn, ruled by Saturn. Saturn is in the 5th house and sextiling Mercury. But I’m very new to horary and not entirely sure how to interpret it. With Mercury and Venus together you can see I have strong feelings and I’m thinking maybe the 7h Neptune connection is highlighting confusion but I’m not sure. Any help is appreciated. Help!
 

Bunraku

Well-known member
You are Merc detriment and combust. Anxious and not seeing things clearly.

Jupiter and Merc don’t see eye to eye, in aversion, but Jupiter does find you great :)

No connections of significators. Moon will opposite him w/ detriment showing u might just leave more worried and confused. :(
 

Bunraku

Well-known member
Even if he is friend (11th house), then Merc and Moon are in aversion so not a good thing. No aspect = no relationship.

5th house is for only sex, fertility, and kids or parties & letters.
 

Bunraku

Well-known member
Jupiter in 5th and in lecherous sign of Capricorn = only wants to drink and party and **** girls :).
He doesn’t want to put in work.
 

katydid

Well-known member
Link to chart image: https://ibb.co/dWb7ZNB

We will call him a romantic friend for now, as I have no idea where it’s going but it’s more than just friends. I’m quite confident that however it plays out, we will remain close friends. I have known him for years but it’s just the last several months we have gotten extremely close. Recently, the general energies have been tough and I felt him pull away. We all need our space (and I know he definitely does) so I’ve been honoring that but it’s crossed my mind, “Why isn’t he reaching out?” The communication lately has been horrible and he’s left me hanging so much; it’s confusing.

The ruler of the ascendant, Virgo, is Mercury which is in the third house with Venus. Mercury is 00°—Is this impactful? This romantic friend is not my partner, so I don’t think I should use the 7th house? I use the 5th house because we are definitely more than friends but nothing is official. I think about our connection which is filled with creative energy and it’s growing over time. If I had to describe our connection right now, it would be 5th house energy. The 5th house cusp is Capricorn, ruled by Saturn. Saturn is in the 5th house and sextiling Mercury. But I’m very new to horary and not entirely sure how to interpret it. With Mercury and Venus together you can see I have strong feelings and I’m thinking maybe the 7h Neptune connection is highlighting confusion but I’m not sure. Any help is appreciated. Help!

I agree that this does sound more like a 5th house relationship right now.

So the good friend you are asking about would be represented by Saturn in Cap in the 5th. [more about that placement later...]

You are correct that your significators are in sextile to each other. HOWEVER, that aspect is not applying, thus is not in the future. It is a description of the immediate past. I think it describes you two getting closer recently.

When Mercury was exactly sextiling Saturn, it was in Scorpio. Now it is @ Zero Sadge. So you have made a shift, and are perhaps one step ahead of your friend now---because he is still in Capricorn and in the 5th.

Saturn in the 5th is slow and steady and even stuck, some might say. Saturn signifies delays and obstacles---circumstances seem to be complicated for him at this time. He seems to have a lot of responsibilities and burdens that are making his life difficult for now.


You are signified by Mercury in fiery Sag, in the 3rd, of plans and aspirations. You are looking towards the future with optimism and faith. While your friend is still stuck in the past and feeling burdened and worried about his present circumstances. Family responsibilities? Financial or professional burdens?

The GOOD news===the Moon @zero Cancer will be trining Neptune in Pisces in 7th and then Trining Venus in Scorpio in 3rd.

So that could be a good change of momentum? So Thursday night until Sunday maybe? If it does not represent 'days' it could represent weeks, which would make it during the December holidays instead...
 
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katydid

Well-known member
Even if he is friend (11th house), then Merc and Moon are in aversion so not a good thing. No aspect = no relationship.

5th house is for only sex, fertility, and kids or parties & letters.

Are you sure about the 5th house only being for sex and parties etc?

I have always read that it is the sign of 'courtship' and dating and describes a relationship that is blossoming but not yet exclusive. :love:

just looked in
The Rulership Book' by Rex Bills, a noted authority...

5th house= courtships, love, lovers, romances, promiscuity, romantic tendencies, social affairs
 
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LittlexxMoon

Active member
Is there any indication of what he may be stuck in the past about? He’s been through a lot, particularly a specific loss of someone’s life a few years ago, so hearing that makes me concerned. We are very close as I said, so I know the runaround of his life. He has a lot going on; work/finances, things he’s trying to do outside of work, trying to start his own company, and moving within the next month despite financial issues. So yes, there’s a lot on his plate which is why I felt it’s important to give him space. I am optimistic about the future, particularly because he has reserved time out of his busy schedule to visit me next month (we have distance between us now due to his work)... but I get mixed signals from time to time which can be confusing. But I tell myself to stay in the moment and focus on the now, and not overanalyze too much especially because he does put in the time and effort. When things get busy or tough, he pulls away and I give him that space without question but this time around I felt the need to ask. At the same time, I don’t want to get too emotionally involved and get hurt. Thank you for your response. All of this adds up.
I agree that this does sound more like a 5th house relationship right now.

So the good friend you are asking about would be represented by Saturn in Cap in the 5th. [more about that placement later...]

You are correct that your significators are in sextile to each other. HOWEVER, that aspect is not applying, thus is not in the future. It is a description of the immediate past. I think it describes you two getting closer recently.

When Mercury was exactly sextiling Saturn, it was in Scorpio. Now it is @ Zero Sadge. So you have made a shift, and are perhaps one step ahead of your friend now---because he is still in Capricorn and in the 5th.

Saturn in the 5th is slow and steady and even stuck, some might say. Saturn signifies delays and obstacles---circumstances seem to be complicated for him at this time. He seems to have a lot of responsibilities and burdens that are making his life difficult for now.


You are signified by Mercury in fiery Sag, in the 3rd, of plans and aspirations. You are looking towards the future with optimism and faith. While your friend is still stuck in the past and feeling burdened and worried about his present circumstances. Family responsibilities? Financial or professional burdens?
 

Bunraku

Well-known member
Are you sure about the 5th house only being for sex and parties etc?

I have always read that it is the sign of 'courtship' and dating and describes a relationship that is blossoming but not yet exclusive. :love:

Same story
Capricorn and Sagittarius are in aversion.

Mercury will not aspect Saturn. And considerably will become unable to do so because Mercury will enter combustion which significantly weakens its power to act.
Combust = imprisoned planets by the Sun

Sun represents fears, anxiety, and solitude. In the private 4th house. A lot of secretive undertones.
 

LittlexxMoon

Active member
Are you sure about the 5th house only being for sex and parties etc?

I have always read that it is the sign of 'courtship' and dating and describes a relationship that is blossoming but not yet exclusive. :love:

just looked in
The Rulership Book' by Rex Bills, a noted authority...

5th house= courtships, love, lovers, romances, promiscuity, romantic tendencies, social affairs
Things definitely aren’t clear between us and I know he’s very focused on his work, but I logically can’t see why a man would put in the amount of effort he has, especially with someone across the country after he moved away from work, and traveling to visit me for something casual.... especially during a pandemic. He is an attractive male too, so he would have no problems finding someone in his area. I could be wrong, as I have no idea if he’s talking to other women, but I would be very stumped if that were truly the case. More on an astrology note, I always thought 5th house was romance, courtship, etc., as people often don’t move from 11th house relations straight into 7th house relations... that’s why I felt choosing this house was right. If 5th house is party/sex stuff though that isn’t the house that should be chosen as his significator which I think would change everything.
 

katydid

Well-known member
Things definitely aren’t clear between us and I know he’s very focused on his work, but I logically can’t see why a man would put in the amount of effort he has, especially with someone across the country after he moved away from work, and traveling to visit me for something casual.... especially during a pandemic. He is an attractive male too, so he would have no problems finding someone in his area. I could be wrong, as I have no idea if he’s talking to other women, but I would be very stumped if that were truly the case. More on an astrology note, I always thought 5th house was romance, courtship, etc., as people often don’t move from 11th house relations straight into 7th house relations... that’s why I felt choosing this house was right. If 5th house is party/sex stuff though that isn’t the house that should be chosen as his significator which I think would change everything.

Yes, the 5th house is courtship. As you noted, that is the phase before 'exclusive' committed marriage based relationships in the 7th.

But it is also social activities, parties and one night stands because that is what single people sometimes do, while looking for their potential partner.

As for your friend, I am not sure if he is talking to other women or not. Saturn in Cap in the 5th seems to say he is not focused on women, but is focused on his work and financial issues.

But I do wonder if he is holding back some things from you. I wonder if his financial situation and work situation is more difficult than he has shared with you? Maybe he doesn't want to burden you or look bad in your eyes?
 
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LittlexxMoon

Active member
Yes, the 5th house is courtship. As you noted, that is the phase before 'exclusive' committed marriage based relationships in the 7th.

But it is also social activities, parties and one night stands because that is what single people sometimes do, while looking for their potential partner.

As for your friend, I am not sure if he is talking to other women or not. Saturn in Cap in the 5th seems to say he is not focused on women, but is focused on his work and financial issues.

But I do wonder if he is holding back some things from you. I wonder if his financial situation and work situation is more difficult than he has shared with you? Maybe he doesn't want to burden you or look bad in your eyes?

Yes, I do have the sense based on what he says and what I observe that he is very focused on his work rather than women. He moved for work across the country to one of the most expensive cities in my country last year and then lost his job amidst the pandemic. He found another job, but the pay isn’t what he needs. I think he’s worried about that as he moves into his new place. Then again, he does make large purchases so on the surface it appears deceptive which could also be debt. I know he’s struggling, but he is the type of person that will try to work things out on his own, as he doesn’t want to burden others. You are entirely right and he had even expressed this. Everything you’ve said is like you’re psychic 😂The current eclipses are happening on his 2/8 axis. The recent lunar was degrees off his natal Venus. He’s a very late Libra ascendant and Saturn and Jupiter will be having their grand conjunction in his Aquarius 4th house where his natal moon is and Saturn will also be hitting his north node all in a very small amount of time. He enjoys talking astrology with me so I check in on his personal transits from time to time with the limited astrology knowledge I have... but I just feel like there will be a lot of upheaval for him emotionally, financially and regarding his home in the upcoming times. He has always faced instability where it feels like the rug is pulled from beneath him in his life and that’s why he’s so focused on trying to get his own business up off the grind as he’s working this other job. I am hoping he can stay afloat with all the upcoming heavy energies. I worry about his mental health from time-to-time as well, as I think he doesn’t reveal a lot of what he’s going through. But he’s a very strong person, keeps a positive mental attitude as much as he can, and continues to persevere. Maybe he will open up at some point about it, but until then all I can do is be supportive with what he does tell me.
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
Am I the only one who has difficulty reading this chart?
What is the cusp of the 2nd house? Is it ruled by mercury or Venus?
While I agree with the comments on the 5th house, which is love, children and creativity, I would tend to assign the 7th house to him, as the "other person".
This would still have him in your 5th of love affairs, but certainly uncomfortably there. Not only is Jupiter in its fall it is besieged by pluto and Saturn. It has already separated from pluto but will not reach Saturn before Saturn changes signs.
So, yes, he is going through a difficult period right now.
It could be stemming from financial problems, with Chiron in his 2nd.
The question about why he isn't reaching out refers to the 3rd house, ruled by Venus, who is in detriment. We don't always feel very much like talking when all we have are worries and bad news, do we? His co-significator Neptune in his house is sensitive but illusive, and you as mercury will square Neptune. Sagittarius is much too direct for dreamy Neptune.
Moon, which is your co-significator, is in warm and loving cancer, and your comments show very clearly the love you have in your heart for him. Moon will trine Venus in your 3rd, so there will be communication between you. Keep a caring tone with him. Moon will also square mars, so there could be some irritation or arguing on the horizon, but then it will trine his co-significator Neptune in the 7th to set things straight.
You as mercury just changed signs, which is why you are looking at things in a different way now. There is a big difference between fixed, sexy, possessive scorpio, and freedom loving light hearted and flirty sagittarius.
I can't tell from the ephemeris if mercury will actually complete the conjunction with sun before sun changes signs. Sun rules your 12th of self undoing, and is located in the 4th of endings. You may be tempted to just chuck it all in.
Not sure who rules the 2nd/8th, but mercury will trine mars who is possibly ruler of his 2nd. With moon approaching a trine with Venus of your (possibly) 2nd, you may want to help him out financially.
He's basically in a weak place, stressed, and besieged. Your reference to his late libra ascendent means that stellium in Capricorn could be weighing heavily on him.
If alternatively we move him to the 11th of friends, he is moon approaching Venus by trine, which is a loving friendship.
The 5th ruled by Capricorn is a very heavy duty love affair, solid but filled with commitments that can weigh you down.
 
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LittlexxMoon

Active member
Am I the only one who has difficulty reading this chart?
What is the cusp of the 2nd house? Is it ruled by mercury or Venus?
While I agree with the comments on the 5th house, which is love, children and creativity, I would tend to assign the 7th house to him, as the "other person".
This would still have him in your 5th of love affairs, but certainly uncomfortably there. Not only is Jupiter in its fall it is besieged by pluto and Saturn. It has already separated from pluto but will not reach Saturn before Saturn changes signs.
So, yes, he is going through a difficult period right now.
It could be stemming from financial problems, with Chiron in his 2nd.
The question about why he isn't reaching out refers to the 3rd house, ruled by Venus, who is in detriment. We don't always feel very much like talking when all we have are worries and bad news, do we? His co-significator Neptune in his house is sensitive but illusive, and you as mercury will square Neptune. Sagittarius is much too direct for dreamy Neptune.
Moon, which is your co-significator, is in warm and loving cancer, and your comments show very clearly the love you have in your heart for him. Moon will trine Venus in your 3rd, so there will be communication between you. Keep a caring tone with him. Moon will also square mars, so there could be some irritation or arguing on the horizon, but then it will trine his co-significator Neptune in the 7th to set things straight.
You as mercury just changed signs, which is why you are looking at things in a different way now. There is a big difference between fixed, sexy, possessive scorpio, and freedom loving light hearted and flirty sagittarius.
I can't tell from the ephemeris if mercury will actually complete the conjunction with sun before sun changes signs. Sun rules your 12th of self undoing, and is located in the 4th of endings. You may be tempted to just chuck it all in.
Not sure who rules the 2nd/8th, but mercury will trine mars who is possibly ruler of his 2nd. With moon approaching a trine with Venus of your (possibly) 2nd, you may want to help him out financially.
He's basically in a weak place, stressed, and besieged. Your reference to his late libra ascendent means that stellium in Capricorn could be weighing heavily on him.
If alternatively we move him to the 11th of friends, he is moon approaching Venus by trine, which is a loving friendship.
The 5th ruled by Capricorn is a very heavy duty love affair, solid but filled with commitments that can weigh you down.

Here is the same chart with a different wheel. I think it’s easier to read. The second house cusp is 00°07” Libra so Venus ruled. My apologies. Link: https://ibb.co/DzcB3gx

Thank you for your response. All of this information is very helpful. We do have both a loving friendship and heavy duty romantic affairs; there’s depth in our connection either way. I have considered whether I would need to eventually walk away. I care deeply and will always care for him, but if things are not able to progress eventually then I can’t continue to emotionally invest. No resentment either; We are all on our own paths and sometimes the timing just isn’t right. The link below is his birth chart x transits. He knows I am very into astrology as I mentioned in previous posts, so I know that he wouldn’t be opposed to me posting this. I am posting this as potential confirmation of what you’ve said, as things line up very well with the current transits. If there is anything else you particularly see here, please let me know. As a friend I am doing my best to be supportive as possible and it’s always a help to know what could potentially come about for him. I know he is terrified of potentially losing his job. I feel quite protective over his inner peace (I am a cancer ascendant and I get like this with anyone I care about) because this man has genuinely gone through a lot and many of it is not what typical people experience throughout their life. This sounds like a bold statement, but I ensure you it is not an exaggeration. (Several experience he has gone through have left me in tears. Go figure, him and I have linked many to his recent Pluto oppose natal sun transit. Astrology actually brought us closer together, as I was able to help him find closure within thanks to astrology).

His birth x transit: https://ibb.co/1Jzd0xH
 
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LittlexxMoon

Active member
Am I the only one who has difficulty reading this chart?
What is the cusp of the 2nd house? Is it ruled by mercury or Venus?
While I agree with the comments on the 5th house, which is love, children and creativity, I would tend to assign the 7th house to him, as the "other person".
This would still have him in your 5th of love affairs, but certainly uncomfortably there. Not only is Jupiter in its fall it is besieged by pluto and Saturn. It has already separated from pluto but will not reach Saturn before Saturn changes signs.
So, yes, he is going through a difficult period right now.
It could be stemming from financial problems, with Chiron in his 2nd.
The question about why he isn't reaching out refers to the 3rd house, ruled by Venus, who is in detriment. We don't always feel very much like talking when all we have are worries and bad news, do we? His co-significator Neptune in his house is sensitive but illusive, and you as mercury will square Neptune. Sagittarius is much too direct for dreamy Neptune.
Moon, which is your co-significator, is in warm and loving cancer, and your comments show very clearly the love you have in your heart for him. Moon will trine Venus in your 3rd, so there will be communication between you. Keep a caring tone with him. Moon will also square mars, so there could be some irritation or arguing on the horizon, but then it will trine his co-significator Neptune in the 7th to set things straight.
You as mercury just changed signs, which is why you are looking at things in a different way now. There is a big difference between fixed, sexy, possessive scorpio, and freedom loving light hearted and flirty sagittarius.
I can't tell from the ephemeris if mercury will actually complete the conjunction with sun before sun changes signs. Sun rules your 12th of self undoing, and is located in the 4th of endings. You may be tempted to just chuck it all in.
Not sure who rules the 2nd/8th, but mercury will trine mars who is possibly ruler of his 2nd. With moon approaching a trine with Venus of your (possibly) 2nd, you may want to help him out financially.
He's basically in a weak place, stressed, and besieged. Your reference to his late libra ascendent means that stellium in Capricorn could be weighing heavily on him.
If alternatively we move him to the 11th of friends, he is moon approaching Venus by trine, which is a loving friendship.
The 5th ruled by Capricorn is a very heavy duty love affair, solid but filled with commitments that can weigh you down.

Also another note regarding the Mercury square Neptune—it’s always been difficult to gauge his sensitivity as he is a cancer sun, Aquarius moon. I do feel he is sensitive though and I have always been mindful of that. I am direct as a natal Aries moon but over the years I’ve learned how to harness this type of energy within myself. If I am not careful, I can definitely come off as too direct in communication with people who aren’t comfortable with that. I have learned to integrate more of my feminine side (I am a Leo sun, Mercury, Mars + Virgo Venus + Aries moon + cancer rising with major 2nd/3rd house placements and SN in third ) and be mindful and receptive during communication, which comes easy for me as long as I keep my Aries moon energy in check. My friend and I have never had any sort of direct tension. In the time when it was possible, I directly but kindly communicated with him about our plans and he called me immediately to find a solution which we did. He definitely doesn’t seem to be one to naturally initiate direct communication though. He’s third house natal Neptune though. That could be why.
 
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