JUPITERASC
Well-known member
however, it seems you are conscious of your enjoyment of imperfect relationships
which is just as well
because a perfect relationships is unlikely
C'est la vie mon ami
Ex-Girlfriend, is there hope?Any/all advice is appreciated!
- Thread starter Kibblerz
- Start date
which is just as well
because a perfect relationships is unlikely
however, it seems you are conscious of your enjoyment of imperfect relationships
which is just as well
because a perfect relationships is unlikely
Defenitely. I know many say a good long term relationship should have few misconjuncts or issues. But honestly as long as it isn't too many oppositions, that squares can be beneficial. It just needs that clear communication and glue to hold it together. A perfect relationship to me sounds horrid. I'm in this life to improve myself and transcend, and suffering leads to transcending.
I wasn't very aware in my relationship though. I had gotten caught up in self, love addiction, and ego. Then My best friend passed and my ex broke up with me the same weekend. That amount of suffering woke me up. Helped me see my errors, see how well it could've worked if I had accepted the negatives instead of fight them.
I like eckhart tolle's view on love, that it's only an addiction when the self is involved. once you transcend self it becomes true unconditional loves, problems no longer are problems, and it's like bringing a light into the dark. there can be no dark if there is light. Really any relationship can eventually reach true love if one person is awake in it. Awakening is a wildfire
you can't stop it from spreading.
JUPITERASC
Well-known member
Ajahn Brahm receives a letter from a Zen practitioner in JapanDefenitely. I know many say a good long term relationship should have few misconjuncts or issues. But honestly as long as it isn't too many oppositions, that squares can be beneficial. It just needs that clear communication and glue to hold it together. A perfect relationship to me sounds horrid. I'm in this life to improve myself and transcend, and suffering leads to transcending.
I wasn't very aware in my relationship though. I had gotten caught up in self, love addiction, and ego. Then My best friend passed and my ex broke up with me the same weekend. That amount of suffering woke me up. Helped me see my errors, see how well it could've worked if I had accepted the negatives instead of fight them.
I like eckhart tolle's view on love, that it's only an addiction when the self is involved. once you transcend self it becomes true unconditional loves, problems no longer are problems, and it's like bringing a light into the dark. there can be no dark if there is light. Really any relationship can eventually reach true love if one person is awake in it. Awakening is a wildfire
asking whether there is too much emphasis in Buddhism on "letting go"
and not enough on "getting attached" by doing good in the world
Here's Ajahn Brahm's response on when to attach and when to let go https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_3coMDunIM
Ajahn Brahm receives a letter from a Zen practitioner in Japan
asking whether there is too much emphasis in Buddhism on "letting go"
and not enough on "getting attached" by doing good in the world
Here's Ajahn Brahm's response on when to attach and when to let go https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_3coMDunIM
I love Ajahn Brahm. My favorite teacher by far! And woudn't that basically be the difference between skillful and unskillful desire? If a desire/attachment orbits the idea of self then the self expects some kind of happiness from it, and eventually is let down and suffers. When desire/attachment isn't orbiting the self then we think big picture and act in ways to benefit beings. Letting go completely is apathy not peace.
JUPITERASC
Well-known member
I just noticed something interesting while looking through mine and her transits. My venus has been in a difficult place lately, full of squares and ****. Meanwhile hers has been the oppositte, all good. Really good. I think the guy she's been talking to lately(her friend told me about) and her are in a honeymoon phase. But on the 7th that ends and so does my bad venus placement. I think tensions between us will cool down then. Her honeymoon this this new guy looks like it's rather short lived. Both our charts seem to calm down till around the 20th, ours both start getting good and then she starts getting a lot on inconjuncts around venus. So I think we will be talking again by the end of the month since that screams like an awkward, somewhat emotional reunion. Knowing me I get happy and idealistic, knowing her she ends up confused and emotionally odd (also she broke up with me after my friend died so she'll end up having to answer to that). Also when my ****** venus aspects and her good venus aspects dissapear, a trine appears between the transit and natal venus in our composite. So when we both are calmer, thinking clearly, she's over this new boy toy. I think she'll come back to the comfort of the relationship. Then soon after I'm happy and she's confused. sounds about right for us lol.
Judging by how our transits and composite play out she'll be back. I'm interested to see what happens then. Though I must meditate tons so I can remain mindful and unattached.
This relationship is gonna be a rollercoaster guess that's how I like it..
Judging by how our transits and composite play out she'll be back. I'm interested to see what happens then. Though I must meditate tons so I can remain mindful and unattached.
This relationship is gonna be a rollercoaster guess that's how I like it..
sibylline
Well-known member
You won't have to spend any time looking for anyone, they'll just come. That's what happens in life unless you shut yourself in. I know it feels awful but if she's talking to someone else, her mother asked you to leave her alone, and she and her friends are blocking you, then that's your signal.
But why would you want her back? Your charts have similarities but with hers she would need a lot of space and would probably be erratic in her affections. If that's not your style then I don't think you should try to mold yourself to suit her. Given her age and chart, I wouldn't be too hopeful of her being able to stick with a relationship for the long haul.
I crave a little chaos
it's the spice in life. No relationship would make me happy consistently. I have to accept and transcend. I feel like she's beneficial for my spiritual and Buddhist path. As I transcend closer to enlightenment such issues won't be a problem. And they'd fade eventually. A flawless relation is a boring and unproductive one. I need challenges to push myself higher. When im not challenged in life I grow apathetic and bored. Many times those challenges that make people miserable just bring me closer to liberation, freedom, and enlightenment. Suffering is a box, but when used correctly it's the key out of that box. Otherwise you just think you're out until eventually you're down again.
sibylline
Well-known member
I crave a little chaos
Okay, if you like chaos, back and forth, break up to make up, sporadic, touch and go then she's your gal (assuming she comes back). I don't see that as challenge more as a headache I'd avoid, but this world is full of all types.
Okay, if you like chaos, back and forth, break up to make up, sporadic, touch and go then she's your gal (assuming she comes back). I don't see that as challenge more as a headache I'd avoid, but this world is full of all types.
Tbh the best part of the relationship was when I was consistently meditating and practicing my path. it's times I stopped my practice that it got bad. Otherwise I'd heavenly. I think it serves as a reminder to keep my mind in order lol. She's like a shock collar that keeps me mindful, cause otherwise I'm tripping, getting high, indulging in sex, etc. Shes a pain but she keeps me at my best. And that's what I need, not someone that harmonizes perfectly with me. That just gives me another person to get high with lol. I need someone to keep me good and someone who never bores me, and it has never been boring
ashriia
Well-known member
This relationship was obviously not working. Quoted material is contradictory.
Just take some time for yourself to be alone, practice your spirituality. Solitude/Silence is good for the soul and healing.
I think there was just a mismatch in your natures. You've got pluto conjunction moon in fire right on the ascendant. Pluto is square to venus.
and mars is conjunct sun. Then your ex, cancer-pisces-scorpio.
Its like the lion and the rabbit.
I think it would be great to study your pluto aspects in depth - particularly pluto/venus. This whole story is very pluto/venus-y.
Well, I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt because of your age and inexperience with relationships.
But your partner does not want to be saddled with the task of keeping your lazy butt on track. If you need someone else to keep you from getting high everyday and neglecting your spiritual path, then .....well, what girl wants that assignment?
You would truly be on your path successfully if you did have a harmonious relationship happening and you prospered. Trying to make it work with someone who only wants to see you once a week, and that is with you begging for more, and has to get Mama Bear to call in a threat----NOT a beneficial prospect.
JUPITERASC
Well-known member
Well said mon ami
by the way the jury is still out on dwarf planet pluto http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80531
Maybe how I said it exaggerated a bit more indulgence than reality. I have been known to indulge a lot in marijuana during lonely times. Though haven't for quite awhile due to probation (been on it since December, meet her in febuary). Im able to control myself when I need to. But I tend to be given to laziness. I guess I just want some kind of stability. Which I find in meditation.
I'm leaving her alone definitely. I had some squares with my Venus and the transit Venus and sun. Im guessing this is the source of my difficulty leaving her behind, since it's been like that since I recovered from my friends death. She has the opposite, the sun and Venus trine her Venus. Since this would show relative ease and lack of obstacles it makes sense why she has ignored and resented my attempts. She's an escapist like me and even a bit more since she neglects uncomfortable feelings. The day her mom threatenened me she had the transit moon opposing her natal moon, which she would immediately neglect in fear of facing her own emotion.
The cards are about to flip. I'm getting more comfortable transits while she's getting uncomfortable ones starting rather soon.
I'm talking to another girl who I have a good dynasty with that lacks major negative aspects, it has many trines but lacks sparks. So idk maybe she's the reason my carss flip, though as my ex's cards get better along with mine evening out, this other girls gets worse with Venus which I suppose suggests my ex may come back into the picture.
Since her ease from the past few weeks is about to end I'm guessing the guy she found is gonna fail her expectations and in turn she'll be coming back.
I know this isn't definite, it may have a little too much hope. I was wondering if this does happen, what can I do to balance out opposition between my Mars and her moon that caused these issues in the first place? I read that that opposition represents the Mars person getting frustration from the moon persons emotions. I read it adds a magnetic but chaotic element to the relationship. I know this opposition is a bit extreme but im hoping I could find a way to deal with it.
In the case that she does come back I just want to keep from causing her the emotional stress from before. I'm guessing my best bet would just be to accept her emotions as they are instead of attaching expectations(should've known that from the start..). If this issue can be surpassed than I want to try.
ashriia
Well-known member
This is a classic case of having a tight pluto venus square which is dominant in the chart. You're obsessed with her. Don't worry about her transits getting worse, yours getting better. Or the guy she is seeing letting her down. That is not your concern. Focus on you, your life.
She has done everything to shut you out of her life. So respect it, and move on. That means not focusing on what is going on with her transits and when she is going to need you later on. Because that is obsessing over her. And regardless of her transits. You're incompatible in terms of relationship styles.
She has Uranus/Venus conjunction natally in the 7th. In Aquarius. She does not want to be smothered or obsessed over, she likes her space and freedom, and in a relationship will need plenty of it. She is likely not coming back.
If you decide to pursue her later on with contact. I wouldn't be surprised if her mom helps her get a restraining order against you. That is where this will lead if you do not move on.
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I'm done trying to contact her. But later on she is likely to contact me. Right now she needs space, though I've obviously sucked at giving it to her. I'm trying to dominate my unconstructive desires. As a person I'm able to change and improve my ways quite easily. So I think that I could get past those incompatibilities. I know she'll end up coming back, because she as just as strong of an attachment to me as I do her. She just deals with it a lot better. Idk maybe there's someone better for me. I'm moving on. But somewhere down the line she'll be back. I just need to know what to do when that happens I guess.
ashriia
Well-known member
Obsessed/in-love. Honestly I don't know how to get rid of that. I hadn't ever trusted anyone like I did her. I told her things noone else has ever known about me. I think she will eventually come back into my life honestly though. Once she gets her head sorted out. She'd atleast come back to be friends. Neither of us had bonded so much with another person before.
ashriia
Well-known member
But that is the past now. That is not the present. The present is she got her mother involved because she couldn't get you to leave her alone. Which means she has moved on and doesn't want anything to do with you. I am sorry to say. But that is the truth. Whatever you had together is now over, no matter how special it seemed at the time.
So you need to let the whole thing go.
Focus on your spirituality. stay off the drugs(with a sun neptune square- life long addiction can be a serious problem if you're not careful). move forward.