proverbs and sayings... very funny!

pwadm

Staff member
Here are some of the fantastic proverbs, I've read.........

1. I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I'm perfect.
2. I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.
3. If I save time, when do I get it back?
4. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
5. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
6. Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
7. The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
8. As I said before, I never repeat myself.
9. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
10. I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.
There's a knob called brightness, but it doesn't work.
11. A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
13. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
14. Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk.
15. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
16. If your father is a poor man, it is your fate, but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
17.I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
18.A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a work station... What more can I say

19.If it's true that we are here to help others, then, what exactly are the others here for?
20.Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright Until you hear them speak.
21.How come "abbreviated" is such a long word
22.Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
23.The Best of Provebs
Should women have children after 35?
No, 35 children are enough
24.Living on Earth may be expensive...
but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun..
25.Your future depends on your dreams
So go to sleep !
26.ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY
So what Who's in a hurry
27.Whom are you working for?
Same people. My wife and four kids
28.Can you do anything that other people can't?
Sure, I can read my handwriting..
29.A drunk was hauled into court.
Mister, the judge began, you've been brought here for drinking....
Great, the drunk exclaimed. When do we get started?
30.Do not cry if the Sun sets at the end of the day, because the tears will not let you enjoy the beauty of the Stars.
 
A

Anonymous

666 - The Number of The Beast.
660 - The approximate number of The Beast.
668 - The neighbor of The Beast.
0.666 - The number of the Millibeast.
666 * SQR(-1) - Imaginary number of The Beast.
666.0000 - The number of a High Precision Beast.
1010011010 - The binary number of The Beast.
1-666 - The area code of The Beast.
00666 - The zip code of The Beast.
7:06am - The correct time of The Beast..
1-900-666-0666: Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts!
Only $6.66 per minute. Must be 18 or over to call.
$665.95 - The retail price of The Beast.
$699.25 - The price of The Beast plus 5% state sales tax.
$769.95 - The price of The Beast with all accessories and replacement soul.
$646.66 - Next week's WalMart price of The Beast.
Phillips 666 - Gasoline of The Beast.
Route 666 - The Highway to Hell of The Beast.
666 F - Oven temperature for roast Beast.
666k - The retirement plan of The Beast.
666 mg - The recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of The Beast.
6.66 % - 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell National Bank,
$666 minimum deposit.
/ 666 - Beast Common Denominator.
Lotus 6-6-6 - The spreadsheet of The Beast.
Word 6.66 - The Word Processor of The Beast.
i66686 - The CPU of The Beast.
666i - The BMW of The Beast.
DCLXVI - Roman numeral of The Beast.
DSM-666 (revised) - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of The Beast.

and finally,

6, uh... what was that number again? - The number of The Blonde Beast.

:lol:
 

Lapis

Well-known member
laughinghard8cm.gif
That was great fun, thanks.
 

Arian Maverick

Well-known member
Yep, and proud of it! :D

Aquarians are full of surprises, aren't we? Most people don't expect a blonde to be so articulate...or be able to form a complete sentence, for that matter :roll:

Though I admit that I enjoy the dumb blonde jokes once I change the main character to "a brunnette who dyed her hair blonde" :mrgreen:

Aquarian Maverick
 

Moulin

Well-known member
I'm a blonde too.. well, naturally a strawberry blonde although at present my hair is black LOL!!

How funny - do aries stelliums come out blonde there Arian Mav? :D

Arian Maverick said:
Yep, and proud of it! :D

Aquarians are full of surprises, aren't we? Most people don't expect a blonde to be so articulate...or be able to form a complete sentence, for that matter :roll:

Though I admit that I enjoy the dumb blonde jokes once I change the main character to "a brunnette who dyed her hair blonde" :mrgreen:

Aquarian Maverick
 

Cryxellis

Member
Radu said:
Here are some of the fantastic proverbs, I've read.........


3. If I save time, when do I get it back?
6. Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
7. The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
11. A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
13. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
14. Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk.
15. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
21.How come "abbreviated" is such a long word
22.Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
24.Living on Earth may be expensive...
but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun..
25.Your future depends on your dreams
So go to sleep !
26.ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY
So what Who's in a hurry
29.A drunk was hauled into court.
Mister, the judge began, you've been brought here for drinking....
Great, the drunk exclaimed. When do we get started?

This are really funny :rotflmao:nice proverbs you got there, thanks for the laugh I really need it today :p;)
but what I like the most is this one..

Radu said:
28.Can you do anything that other people can't?
Sure, I can read my handwriting..
Yes you can read it but others might not. :p
 
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