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  #1  
Unread 01-20-2015, 07:38 PM
ariesgurl ariesgurl is offline
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when will my inlaws start treating me with respect

My inlaws treat me like I dont matter. They act like my opinions and views mean nothing and that I dont know anything. They are constantly undermining me when it comes to my kids as well. They treat their other daughter in law 100 times better and she is pretty much the boss of the family. Are they ever going to stop effing with me and treat me like I deserve to be treated? I never fight with them and always respect them. Their other daughter in law treats them so bad and uses them but they never say anything to her. She is from the same community as them while I am not.

Will relations ever change or am I going to have to say goodbye to them for good in order to keep my sanity?

Any help will be greatly appreciated. I fear their behavior will affect my kids and marriage..
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  #2  
Unread 01-22-2015, 04:12 AM
Ernesto Ernesto is offline
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Re: when will my inlaws start treating me with respect

Well all i could say is your in laws are not going to take lessons unless you would do something like your other lades you mentioned see if that works for you or not.
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  #3  
Unread 01-22-2015, 11:45 AM
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Crystalpages Crystalpages is offline
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Re: when will my inlaws start treating me with respect

Quote:
Originally Posted by ariesgurl View Post
My inlaws treat me like I dont matter. They act like my opinions and views mean nothing and that I dont know anything. They are constantly undermining me when it comes to my kids as well. They treat their other daughter in law 100 times better and she is pretty much the boss of the family. Are they ever going to stop effing with me and treat me like I deserve to be treated? I never fight with them and always respect them. Their other daughter in law treats them so bad and uses them but they never say anything to her. She is from the same community as them while I am not.

Will relations ever change or am I going to have to say goodbye to them for good in order to keep my sanity?

Any help will be greatly appreciated. I fear their behavior will affect my kids and marriage..
Dear,

I am saying this not in a patronizing or judgmental manner so please do not take it in a wrong way. I think there might be some other factor playing a role in the relational dynamics that you described. Community-differences might just be one possible factor as being held solely by you as being responsible, or at least in your description as shared here. I am assuming that you have discussed about the quandary you are in, with your beloved husband prior to approaching the community of astrologers to help you find some direction and relief. If not, that should be the first approach. Perhaps, he would be able to intervene and help? Or clear any misgivings, misunderstandings you might have begotten?? It is important to resolve the situation since there are kids involved.

The chart you have provided does not help me at all. You have blocked important information possibly because of anonymity reasons or perhaps because you are generally extremely guarded or some other reasons. Your AC is close to a cusp and ayanamsha and other calculations could change matters drastically, as can your birth-time accuracy. Astrology, unlike palmistry, requires that full disclosure of birth data and name for certain important derivations be made. Palmists usually get the original map in front of them (palm and hand) and do not require such details as astrologers do.

Given your sensitive matter, which undeniably it is, I would like to suggest that you approach a palmist for your case to guard your privacy or an astrologer privately or similar.

People might give you the impression that such situations can be helped by magic or magical remedies, and you might wish to try those out at your peril or discontent. Behavioural or situational modalities are generally a better approach but require some dedication and time before they bear fruits. And, sometimes even that results in partial improvement since ultimately, Karma supervenes! Action begets results, often in subsequent lifetimes.

Love and Light,

Rohiniranjan
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Rohiniranjan
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  #4  
Unread 01-22-2015, 08:13 PM
ariesgurl ariesgurl is offline
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Re: when will my inlaws start treating me with respect

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ernesto View Post
Well all i could say is your in laws are not going to take lessons unless you would do something like your other lades you mentioned see if that works for you or not.
Ernesto,

I dont think I am capable of treating them badly no matter how much I want to. I always treat people how I would like to be treated.
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  #5  
Unread 01-22-2015, 08:17 PM
ariesgurl ariesgurl is offline
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Re: when will my inlaws start treating me with respect

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Originally Posted by Crystalpages View Post
Dear,

I am saying this not in a patronizing or judgmental manner so please do not take it in a wrong way. I think there might be some other factor playing a role in the relational dynamics that you described. Community-differences might just be one possible factor as being held solely by you as being responsible, or at least in your description as shared here. I am assuming that you have discussed about the quandary you are in, with your beloved husband prior to approaching the community of astrologers to help you find some direction and relief. If not, that should be the first approach. Perhaps, he would be able to intervene and help? Or clear any misgivings, misunderstandings you might have begotten?? It is important to resolve the situation since there are kids involved.

The chart you have provided does not help me at all. You have blocked important information possibly because of anonymity reasons or perhaps because you are generally extremely guarded or some other reasons. Your AC is close to a cusp and ayanamsha and other calculations could change matters drastically, as can your birth-time accuracy. Astrology, unlike palmistry, requires that full disclosure of birth data and name for certain important derivations be made. Palmists usually get the original map in front of them (palm and hand) and do not require such details as astrologers do.

Given your sensitive matter, which undeniably it is, I would like to suggest that you approach a palmist for your case to guard your privacy or an astrologer privately or similar.

People might give you the impression that such situations can be helped by magic or magical remedies, and you might wish to try those out at your peril or discontent. Behavioural or situational modalities are generally a better approach but require some dedication and time before they bear fruits. And, sometimes even that results in partial improvement since ultimately, Karma supervenes! Action begets results, often in subsequent lifetimes.

Love and Light,

Rohiniranjan
This problem has been going on for almost 10 years, so I have pretty much tried everything. I guess I should get the point by now but my heart wont listen. I just want to be accepted by them fully and no matter how much I tell myself that I dont need people like this in my life its hard to let go.

As for personal info, I have been advised a few times to never post birth details on the site and if I do, it is at my own risk. Supposedly, someone could locate me if they really wanted to just based on birth time, location and name.

Thanks for your suggestions though...
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  #6  
Unread 01-23-2015, 01:08 PM
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Crystalpages Crystalpages is offline
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Re: when will my inlaws start treating me with respect

Yes, Aries, not only astrology but any divination becomes ineffective in a public environment which is lacking in trust (even for justified reasons as is true for internet public forums!

Better to trust in God and well-meaning friends and relatives and flesh and blood counsellors, in such cases!

Good Luck!

Rohiniranjan
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  #7  
Unread 01-26-2015, 11:59 AM
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Abby83 Abby83 is offline
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Re: when will my inlaws start treating me with respect

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Originally Posted by ariesgurl View Post
Ernesto,

I dont think I am capable of treating them badly no matter how much I want to. I always treat people how I would like to be treated.
Oh how happy I am to see someone in the same boat as me.

My advice will be based on experience.

My mother in law creates poison in my life also. She is actually a Psychopath, therefore everyone allows her to get her way to keep peace. She is the Matriarch of 200 people in the family. Unfortunately as a mother, this doesn't work for me. She sees me as competition, which means a never ending life of pain and suffering for me. She is extremely clever at bringing her crazy harmful ideas to the fore without getting caught and then smiles in your face once she has done or mentioned the deed. I too see how this affects my kids. She talks badly about me to my kids. Cleverly plants fearful ideas in their heads which makes them angry and suspicious of me as well as untrusting. She wants to destroy anything that stands in her way of being number 1. Therefore also has no respect for me and also tries to alienate me around my kids so that they only notice her and pay no attention to me. All she does is destroy and she has been quite successful with others. I have to fight very hard to maintain my place. The other family members unfortunately have been trained by her to do as she says or else. So they all disrespect me also. This is not good for the kids to see.

Here's the fact in my opinion.

YOU REALLY NEED TO SPEAK UP AND SHOW WHO'S BOSS NO MATTER HOW HARD THAT MAY BE. Even if they ignore you, speak up and say 'oh, you're just going to ignore me.' Just by verbalising what you see them doing points it out to everyone and says you're not ok with it.
You are never going to get them to like you, but you can put them in your place.
When your husband doesn't support you (like mine) it's even harder. Especially if you say no to something, then he overrules it, and the in laws laugh in your face. Decide with husband that you will discuss decisions at home and get back to them instead of deciding on spot. Set boundaries with husband. Me and my man are still working on this. Ive learnt that my in laws will always hate me. Cant change that. It makes it easier for me to be firm with them and not care if they hate me for it.
If they still don't respect your rules then you find a punishment for them. For me and partner, we punish in laws by not allowing them to see the children for a while.
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