Will I ever have any kids?

Hello and thank you for taking your time to read my post, and maybe to enlight me with your advice and interpretation.


Long story short.
At the present moment, I am a 31 years old Female and in the last 14 years I haven't had any relationship.

No man has ever invited me in town during these years. I am by no mean ugly, no deformities either, normal weight, normal height. People tell me I am quite pretty, yet I am always alone and this has been the cause of a long standing chronical depression.


My question - will I ever have a kid? A motivation to live in this world?
I lost my hope in a marriage and relationships but I would be grateful if I would have a kid of my own. I am too poor to adopt, I would not be allowed legally.


Thank you once again for reading and taking your precious time with my post.

Hi, first of all, kids do not have to be your motivation to live. There is so much more to life than just having kids. Kids are wonderful and I can understand why you want them, they are amazing, but they certainly don't have to be your motivation to live. There's a million reasons to live for that have nothing to do with having kids/parenting. Second, are you sure your birth time is correct? 5:30 is so exact and seems like it was rounded up?

Anyway, on to your chart. When you say you haven't had a relationship in 14 years, do you also mean you haven't been on any dates or had any guys approach you or anything at all? It seems like that's what you're saying because you say no guy has asked you out to town, but I want to be sure I understand correctly? The reason I'm asking is because I would have never guessed that based on your chart -- you don't have Chiron or Saturn in the 7th. Your Venus doesn't have a hard aspect to Saturn. Which is another reason why I don't know if your birth time is accurate.

You do have Chiron in the 5th house (which among other things rules children). Chiron represents deep wounds or pain that stems from early on in life. Similar to Saturn, whatever house it's placed in represents an area in life where you will experience some kind of difficulty. The 5th house rules children, conception, romance/dates, creativity, and fun/social outings, etc. On second thought, maybe Chiron explains why you're having difficulty with romance and why not having kids at the moment hasn't happened for you and why it affects you so much.

Does this mean you will never find love or never have kids? Absolutely NOT. It just means that it will take longer than you like, and it will be hard for you to accept that. That's understandable. We all have something we want in life but have to wait for, so you're not alone. It's okay. You're only 31. You have plenty time for kids. In one of my biology classes as an undergrad, we learned that it is a myth that having kids in your 40s means they will be unhealthy. The risk is only applicable to those who are in either poor health or who do not eat healthy or exercise regularly. We learned that a healthy diet and regular exercise in 40-someting year old women basically diminishes the risk of an unhealthy pregnancy. So if that's what your worried about, stop. You will be fine.

That said, you may not even have to wait until you're 40+! You may meet someone this year or next year. You NEVER know. Life is full of surprises! You may meet a great guy in one or two years and get married and have a kid by 35-36. That's very normal these days.

Don't give up hope. Everything that is meant to happen will happen when it is meant to happen. Let nature do its work and try to relax. Maybe meet some nice men through reputable online dating sites like EHarmony or something? Not Tinder, though. Unless you want a short-term romance or hook-up. Look for a more serious dating site if you want a relationship with substance. Good luck!

Ashmivi said:

Hi!
Thank you so much for your lovely post and explanations! So, so very grateful. I read it like 10 times already.



The birth date is according to my mom who told me 5: 25 - 5:30. I know 5 minutes may matter a lot, but I dont know how to determine it starting from various major events.


No relationship in 14 years - nothing at all, no dates, no nothing. I live in a very big city, so there are plenty of men here, not in some remoted small village.

I am sorry for sounding so depressive in my post, I usually hide it better.

I don't think my solar return looks anything promissing either.

View attachment 80551


No men in my life (starting with my grandfather and biological father) had treated me with kindness, let alone love. All men in my life abused me one way or another. This may be karma...
And the last 14 years made me wish and pray for my life to be over faster.
Thank you once again, I have nothing to repay your kind gesture to answer my post.

Click to expand...

Hi! I'm happy if my reply made you feel better, and you don't have to repay me for anything, nor do you have to apologize for sounding depressive. You're human and you have something important to you that isn't going to your liking and it's hurting you. It's normal to be upset, it's normal to cry, it's normal to feel hopeless, and it's normal to feel like the whole universe is against you and keeping you from being happy. It's normal to think everyone else has what you want and that you're the only one who doesn't have it. We ALL feel that about something at some point in our life and we can all relate to that terrible feeling. We all have our cross to bear, so please don't feel like you have to apologize for being human and having feelings.

With that said, stop wishing for your life to be over faster. You have so much to live for. So much. Even if you never have kids or meet a great guy, do you really think you don't have anything else in life to be proud of or to look forward to? I'm sure you will meet a wonderful man someday, and I hope it's soon, and I'm sure you will have kids in the future, as well. You're smart and I'm sure you're attractive. You will find someone when it is your time to find someone. But even if you didn't, you have a meaning and purpose beyond just being a wife/girlfriend and mother. Those things are WONDERFUL, but I know there is so much more to you and your life than just that. Please understand that. You just have to stop thinking of yourself as having to be one thing (ex: a wife and mother) and understand that even if you did get married and have kids, you are still more than just a wife and mother. Understand your own value.

You're only 31. You're a young woman. This isn't 1965, 30/31 isn't what it used to be. Very many young women are single and don't have kids in their 30s now! That's normal and common! I've seen your other posts out of curiosity and I know you're a professor, so you're an educated and intelligent young woman. You write (and have great placements for writing!) and you have been recognized for it, even if it's on a "small" scale (any award is an amazing award, by the way -- you EARNED it!). You're an educated and independent career woman and talented writer. Isn't that amazing? I respect you for that.

You've been through so much in your short 31 years. Even with your difficult childhood and being mistreated by your father and grandfather (which I am so sorry to hear), you've battled an illness (and I hope your health is wonderful now), you've lost multiple family members so close together (that is heartbreaking and I'm so sorry for your pain), and yet you still managed to find your inner strength and make something of yourself. You should be very proud.

Why would you ever reduce yourself to tears just because you don't have kids at only 31? Look at what you have accomplished! Most don't have what you have. You need to give yourself more credit for the things you have done and you will feel so much better. Just please stop doubting yourself and stop doubting your talent. And don't ever destroy your texts again. Even if writing doesn't work out for you professionally or on the side, you are still talented and should keep writing because it makes you happy and allows you to express your creativity! But I do hope it works out for you professionally!

And if I can give you some advice, girl-to-girl/woman-to-woman, don't settle for just any man, please. It's easy for women in your situation (and there are so many) to accept the first man who gives them attention after years of being single. So much that they ignore all the red flags and bad signs. Then they end up in a bad relationship just so they won't be alone anymore. Don't do that. Even if it takes you years to find a good man, don't settle. It's better to wait for the right one and keep your peace of mind then it is to waste years, energy, happiness, and your mental health for a man who will not appreciate you the way you appreciate him.

Again, maybe try a dating website like EHarmony where people are looking for a serious connection. It's hard to meet people these days, so you aren't alone at all. Just keep positive and never let a man disrespect you or take away your happiness. You are strong, you are ambitious, you are hard-working, you are talented, and I'm sure you have a good heart. A jerk doesn't deserve someone like you. A good man does. So wait for him no matter how long it takes. It will happen when it is meant to.

Sorry for the long post. I just wanted you to see things from my perspective. Sometimes it's hard to see your own good qualities when you're depressed. Please reach out if you need someone to talk to!

Ashmivi said:

Hi!
Thank you so much for your lovely post and explanations! So, so very grateful. I read it like 10 times already.



The birth date is according to my mom who told me 5: 25 - 5:30. I know 5 minutes may matter a lot, but I dont know how to determine it starting from various major events.


No relationship in 14 years - nothing at all, no dates, no nothing. I live in a very big city, so there are plenty of men here, not in some remoted small village.

I am sorry for sounding so depressive in my post, I usually hide it better.

I don't think my solar return looks anything promissing either.

View attachment 80551


No men in my life (starting with my grandfather and biological father) had treated me with kindness, let alone love. All men in my life abused me one way or another. This may be karma...
And the last 14 years made me wish and pray for my life to be over faster.
Thank you once again, I have nothing to repay your kind gesture to answer my post.

Click to expand...

I'm not good at solar returns, but I will take a look at it for you and see if I can maybe take a stab at it!

So you have Neptune and Mercury in your 7th house in your solar return. This year, your mind will center around relationships. Finding a good partner is on your mind, Mercury. Neptune in 7th can cloud your better judgement regarding relationships and so this year it seems you will be idealistic about relationships and have unrealistic expectations. You will maybe fantasize about the perfect relationship a lot, you might meet a guy who perhaps isn't great, but you will idealize him and your connection to him and delude yourself into thinking he is perfect. Neptune in 7th means your judgement is a little clouded in the area of relationships. But please keep in mind, that if you do meet a guy and he seems nice, he may very well be great! Just be reasonably cautious and don't fall head over heels quickly. Get to know him very well, be a critical thinker, etc.

Mercury in 7th means you will be giving relationships a lot of thought. Neptune and Mercury in the 7th oppose your Moon, so the topic of relationships will weigh heavy on you and will be a source of stress or emotional sadness for you this year. Keep in mind, this is your solar return. This too shall pass. When you get upset about relationships this year, just remember you will live through this and everything will be okay. It's temporary stress.

With Saturn and Venus in your 5th, your social life and dating life will probably not be super great this year. But that's okay. I already told you, it will ALL happen exactly when it is meant to happen and not a moment sooner or a moment later. Venus conjuncts Saturn in Capricorn, so again, you probably won't have a relationship this year or have dates or have a child, but work on yourself this year. This is my advice: take a break from stressing yourself out over this and make this year about YOU. For the remainder of this year, work on your own personal growth and get to know yourself better. Take on a new hobby -- go try something new. And don't use money as an excuse! Some of the best things in life are free.

Try growing a vegetable garden in your backyard? Make a goal to read a new book every month. Go have coffee at a nice cafe and read a book every Friday afternoon! Maybe set a few different goals for yourself and write out a plan how you will achieve them. Moon in your first house does make positive aspects, so of course you will benefit from self-improvement and giving yourself some attention this year. Focus on yourself and improving yourself. Grow your personality. If you meet someone, great! Just be careful like you would any other time. Have fun this year!

Ashmivi said:

Your posts helped me tremendously and were read many times... Not only helped but gave me hope and encourage me.



Thank you for all your help an for your advice.
Thank you for taking the time with my solar return as well, very useful, a light in the dark.



I know you are right about being more than a mother and wife, but I feel a very strong feeling of unfulfillment, you probably know what I mean.
I suspected no relationship this year as well, from my humble astrology knowledge. Eharmony is not available in my country, just Tinder, and it is not something I would choose.



I am not a girl with big dreams of fame or fortune, nor after the perfect guy. I can settle with less if I am granted.



My health is better now, thank you so much, this is why I also worried about kids.



About writing - I do enjoy it, it makes me feel part of another world, I don't trust the quality of my writings, but others were genuinely touched by them. Thank you for pointing out about the placement about writing, it gave me more hope. If you knew how many texts I have deleted, man....



I know it could be considered selfish to want kids like me when other people have it much worse than I did.

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You don't have to thank me, I'm just glad it helped you. And I'm happy to hear that your health is better now. I hope it keeps improving, and make sure you eat healthy and get moderate exercise regularly. You'd be surprised how such simple changes can positively affect your health.

I do understand what you mean by feeling unfulfilled without marriage and kids, but try to focus your attention on other areas so that you can distract yourself from that feeling as much as possible until the right guy comes along. And he will. You just have to be patient with these things sometimes. I know you're not expecting a "perfect" guy (no one is perfect, after all), but just be sure not to settle for a jerk. You deserve someone great. Learn to love yourself and have faith in yourself and your talents.

Don't delete your writings. Leave them. Maybe someday you come back to them and get a good idea on how to improve or change them. Just don't delete your inspirations. Michael Jackson almost didn't release Thriller for religious reasons -- imagine that. He almost deleted what later went on to become the most famous song in the world.

I'm off to bed, but please keep in mind the things I said and don't be so hard on yourself. You are strong and you are worthy. And you will, through patience and perseverance, meet a great guy and be a great mother some day. <3