Hello!
I am grateful for any interpretations of our relationship (this is a romantic relationship). I have heard that Venus opposite Neptune is a recipe for disappointment and it is showing up in his natal chart, as a double whammy opposition aspect in our synastry charts, and in our composite charts. Is there any silver lining here or is this relationship going to result in massive disappointment or deception?
Thank you!!
Most people would, I think, agree that there is no one hard aspect that can doom a relationship to fail. Astrology represents potentials, not necessarily outcomes. Two people with lots of positive aspects between their charts are by no means guaranteed of a successful relationship (I know this from my own experience) -- and two people with a couple or even a few difficult aspects between their charts can overcome this and have a successful relationship if they put some effort into it. Most astrologers believe that a couple actually benefits when the interaction between them contains at least a couple of difficult aspects because these can provide an incentive for personal growth as opposed to a relationship in which the interaction between them contains very few difficult aspects with the result that they can become complacent. Venus opposite Neptune is a bit of a challenge, yes -- but I can think of at least a couple of other aspects you could have that would be more difficult to work with (such as squares between the Moon, Venus, or Mars and Saturn).
I think the question of whether a relationship succeeds or fails based upon the aspects between two charts depends on four factors -- 1) the ratio of soft aspects to hard aspects, 2) the relative strength of these aspects, 3) your awareness of these aspects, and 4) your willingness to take whatever action is necessary to handle them productively for mutual benefit.
At first glance, there do appear to be some very promising aspects between you to balance out the Venus-Neptune opposition -- mutual Sun/Moon reception, mutual Moon reception, his Moon in your first house, your Moon in his fourth house, your Mercury conjunct his Venus, your Venus conjunct his Mars (loose but it's there), his Mars trine your Saturn, etc. However, what does raise a yellow flag for me is the fact that the composite does not seem quite as strong -- and in fact, I'm actually more concerned over the squares (Sun square Saturn, Venus square Saturn) and the inconjuncts (Sun and Venus inconjunct Uranus) in the composite than I would be about the Venus-Neptune opposition in the composite because all of them are close aspects.
Neither one of you appears to be heavily ruled by Venus (by having your Sun, Moon, Venus, or Ascendant in either Taurus or Libra). I do notice, however, that both of you have Neptune retrograde which makes you very sensitive. You also have Neptune in Sagittarius as a "singleton" (it's your only planet in a fire sign) which suggests that it actually has a lot of energy in your chart, especially when you're under stress. (I have Neptune as a singleton myself, but in a water sign.) It's in your fifth house which implies that a lot of your energy is directed toward romance, creativity, and children. In addition, even though you don't have Venus in your fourth house, your fourth house is ruled by Venus because the cusp on that house is in Libra -- so in that context, this man potentially also activates your fourth house as well as your sixth (with his Neptune) and your twelfth (with his Venus). This potentially might leave you a bit more vulnerable than he is to any negative Venus-Neptune effects because the fourth house is so receptive. The houses in his chart which are activated by your Venus and Neptune or which are ruled by Venus or Neptune do not suggest a comparable level of vulnerability to me. In addition, having your twelfth house (the house of Neptune) activated by another person's planets -- in his case, Venus -- can be problematic. The twelfth house represents dreams, intuition, and spirituality...but it also represents illusion, hidden enemies, and the tangled forest of the subconscious.
Having your twelfth house activated by a partner's Venus can go either way...in my opinion, whether it ends up being good or bad depends largely on remaining aware of the temptation to let yourself be swept away, resisting it, and maintaining whatever boundaries are necessary for your own well-being rather than disregarding them or allowing your partner to do so. As you are evidently already aware, challenging Neptune contacts in synastry can involve deception -- but this deception isn't necessarily deliberate or even conscious. A relationship involving challenging Venus-Neptune aspects -- or any challenging aspects involving Neptune, really -- are best handled by both partners making a consistent effort to remain as honest and upfront with each other as possible, which means they must be willing to be honest with themselves as well and remain conscious of their own behavior (which is good advice in general). With Neptune as a significant influence in your chart, I think this is of particular importance for you -- as someone who also has Neptune as a singleton, I know this has definitely been true for me.
I realize that I've rattled on quite a bit (it happens frequently, I'm afraid) -- hope this helps.
