Help... Father-Son tensions...

Hi! I'm asking for some insight on the eternal conflict between my father and I. How will it end? When? How can I minimize its impact in my life? The thing is, he ruined most of my childhood, and keeps trying to restrict my dreams and personnal relationships by acting either childishly or with tyranny. He manipulates a lot
(I reckon he is one of the worst Cancer-sign ever to walk the earth, emotionnally speaking, and one of the most clever and determined.
I am a cancer-sign myself, but have several influences from Capricorn, Gemini and Aries, so I feel pretty different from him.)


I was born on June 24, 1989, Sherbrooke, Qc, Canada, at 1:01 AM.

He was born July 20, 1960, at the same place, but the hour of birth is unknown.

Please, your thoughts are most precious, and should help me put an end to 17 years of everlasting conflicts! Obvious chart informations, as well as details, mean a lot to me. Thanks!

authority, to Eklipse

Eklipse,

With Saturn (duty, also authority) conjunct (energy is combined with) Midheaven (outer world), you like to be the authority in the outer world. With Uranus (friends, also rebellion) conjunct Saturn conjunct Midheaven, you rebel against other authorities in the outer world. You and your Dad have your Saturns conjunct...so you both see yourself as the authority. You also have conjunctions between your personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars, and Venus), so you have personal challenges in interacting with each other. If either of you can work past authority issues, there is a possibility, but it will take a lot of work on BOTH sides.

With authority,

Tim

Hi

I found this post most interesting. My dad and I did not get on when I was young - he too was moody, manipulative and tyranical. Seeing your comment about Saturns conjunct I looked it up and guess what my Saturn is in Virgo and so was his. Hwever, I don't know whether this was the only cause of friction but would love someone to compare the two charts. I did begin to get on with him - regrettably too late as is always the case.

Moonshine

My birth details June 6 1950 Oxford United Kingdom 5.10 am
My father details June 8 1920 (I think Oxford as well) I think he had a Cancer asc which gives him Capricorn on Desc (My mum was 7 years Older than him)

Saturn, to Moonshine

Moonshine,

Yes, your and your dad's Saturns are conjunct. However, in your birth chart, you have Saturn focused in the 5th house (self-expression) square (energy needs to be combined with) Sun (self-expression), so you are simply trying to express yourself and your opinion with your Saturn energy...not to be the boss. I think the issue between you and your father was he has both Saturn (duty, also restriction) and Uranus (friends) square his Venus (relationships), indicating he had challenges in relating in a deep way to others. He also had a least aspected (strong energy) Mars (being, also anger), so he may have had strong anger.

Saturnally yours,

Tim

Re: Saturn, to Moonshine

Eklipse, unfortunately my son also has a very bad relationship with his father. They have not spoken to each other for over a year now, even though my son has gotten a babydaughter in that year. So even being a grandfather for the first time does not interest him. (I am divorced from him). My ex-husband was also a Cancer (so much for Cancer being a family oriented sign!!! This one does not give a hoot about his children. They can only attract his attention when they can show how successfull they are. My son is a Saggittarius, Pisces Ascendant. My husbands Ascendant is border Scorpio/Saggittarius, but I think it is Scorpio. He has a Moon-Pluto conjunction.
My son's Sun, Mercury,Mars, Neptune and North Node all fall in his fathers first house! My Son's Saturn in Cancer conjuncts his fathers Sun in the 8th house, so you can smell the crisis!!! My son's Moon in Capricorn opposes his fathers Sun. My son decided to severe ties with his father because he could not stand the constant criticism and below the belt remarks from his dad anymore.My ex is also very childish when it comes to relationships and does not like other people to have it easy (he had it difficult emotionally in childhood and sort of thinks that everybody else also should have it's share of nastyness in life. Needless to say this has affected my son's selfworth immensely but as a good Saggittarius he remains optimistic and he is a very wise young man.

Hi
Can you see any other aspects which may have been relevant to our relationship. I know it is too late now but I would just like to clarify things in my own mind. By the way you were absolutely spot on about his temper. He would fly off the handle at the slightest provocation - he was always falling out with neighbours and relatives. It made my mother into a quivering frightened mess. Unfortunately, and isnt it always the way that he died before her but she only became the real person she ought to have been the year before she died. In my later years I made excuses for him believing it was poor self esteem coming from an underprivelged family that made him verbally lash out and I would love to know if it was and what sort of man he really was.
Can you help.

Moonshine

ego, to Moonshine

Moonshine,

Since your father's least aspected (strong energy) Mars (being, also anger) was trine (energy goes very easily with) his Sun (self-expression, also ego), anger was a way to express himself. His strong ego came out as a strong anger...and he did it...because it was so easy for him to do.

Aspectfully yours,

Tim

Re: ego, to Moonshine

Thanks! Clearly, Saturn has a huge influence on my life... and all this capricorn/authority aspect makes a lot of sense. I was always interested in politics, ways to rebel and to change, ways of acting without the authority's notice... silent and passive rebellions, too, I might add.
So the only thing my father and I have to do is ... put effort into it? Is there any good aspect linking us? Some kind of starting point?

tension, to Eklipse

Eklipse,

You and your father have a LOT of tension with each other. Accept that, and talk to him openly about the issues you have had, and how you want to work together with him to overcome them so that you can grow closer together. This will require that you let HIM be the authority at least SOME of the time! By bringing out the issues in the open and honestly discussing them, you might be able to clear up the problems. However, this will require your each seeing things from the OTHER person's point of view.

Relating,

Tim

Hmm Cancer... family oriented... :38:
Hmm, their are some less bright sides to that sign... manipulative among others...
I do experience them from 1st hand, being a Cancer Sun myself...

My mother, a Cancer... only agreed with me doing things her way... giving me less freedom, less then i needed to while growing up... concentrating more on my flaws, then on my strong points...

She's a Moon in Scorpio and has late Capricorn on the IC... i see her possessivenss, her strictness, her negativism, her paranoia, her mistrust... somehow I think it's all projection, cause the way she related to her mother (a Moon Pluto in 1 in Cancer) wasn't happy and sunny also...

Oh well, i wish everyone well with the ties with their parents...
They have some authority, a lot, but it's no fun to misuse that authority...

My mother, a Cancer... only agreed with me doing things her way... giving me less freedom, less then i needed to while growing up... concentrating more on my flaws, then on my strong points...

Does that ever sound familiar!! Well, at least you, being a Cancer yourself, will now know how NOT to behave like that.

Oh well...
May be i'm just giving my sun sign the benefit of the doubt, but i guess her Scorpio Moon is more the devil then her Cancer Sun (may be she's the cause I created an aversion for Scorpio Moon people)

My mothers' Pluto sits on my Rising and her Moon/ Neptune conjunction sits on my Pluto... Hmm, power struggles, manipulation... sounds familiair... she holds grudges... insulted my dad to me, even if they were split up 10 yrs ago...

My brothers' Pluto sits on her rising... Never paid attention to the Pluto dynamic in my family...

Also, My dad's Pluto exactly squaring her Venus... while his Venus sits on her Pluto... May be now I see the obsession on her side...