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  #1  
Unread 01-20-2007, 10:08 AM
Teddybull Teddybull is offline
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Adultery

How taboo!
I was ready to log off and I saw AOL had a message, "Would you date a Married Man?"

I know more women that have cheated on their spouses than men.

I was recently asked by a doctor for a date. He said he and his wife don't communicate and she doesn't mind if he dates (right). I always wondered what someone would say to lure another in. I told him he does need a date, but it needs to be with a therapist. He had come in several times more to see me.... I'm cold to him (venus conjunct saturn used at it's best).

Why do people cheat? It must be because the marriage has become stale, delusion is showing that another person will be more satisfying. I know we all have lustrous thoughts (I've had my share when married).......

What aspects (or transits?) in a chart would should adultery? Venus conjunct.... maybe any outer planet could probably be justified.....
tb

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Unread 01-20-2007, 12:24 PM
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Re: Adultery

well, i think a lot of women consider the husband one of their children when it comes to care taking and responsibilities and i think that this wares very thin on a woman til she's screaming for an adult/adult connection.
i gotta tell ya, i do not think the idea of multible marriages is so bad, as long as neither sex is excluded from this allowance! however, ironically, chances are the women would still say no to multiple spouses, but it would be very handy to have at call the diversity of talents amongst the men in one's life. ex, one to take care of the cars/an outdoorsy type, one to bring in the bacon/be handy with home maintenance, the other to have extra time to reprogram some of the disfunction from his childhood so that he is more of fun and joy to live with.
whatever ya do, make sure whoever you hook up with is not cheap.
this is not to say, drain his wallet, just make sure he has generosity in the scope of his traits.
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  #3  
Unread 01-20-2007, 12:35 PM
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Re: Adultery

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2rainbows
well, i think a lot of women consider the husband one of their children when it comes to care taking and responsibilities and i think that this wares very thin on a woman til she's screaming for an adult/adult connection.
i gotta tell ya, i do not think the idea of multible marriages is so bad, as long as neither sex is excluded from this allowance! however, ironically, chances are the women would still say no to multiple spouses, but it would be very handy to have at call the diversity of talents amongst the men in one's life. ex, one to take care of the cars/an outdoorsy type, one to bring in the bacon/be handy with home maintenance, the other to have extra time to reprogram some of the disfunction from his childhood so that he is more of fun and joy to live with.
whatever ya do, make sure whoever you hook up with is not cheap.
this is not to say, drain his wallet, just make sure he has generosity in the scope of his traits.
2rainbows

LOL, I had to do a double take to be sure that it wasn't me that posted this.

I am crunched for time, will post to this thread again later.

TK
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  #4  
Unread 01-20-2007, 02:49 PM
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Re: Adultery

all signs cheat...
But i guess someone with lots of fire influence helps the cheating factor...

and as an answer if i would date a married/ taken woman
Nope
I wouldn't want it that my wife/ girl friend would mess around cause it would hurt me
So I think it's only fair that i wouldn't date someone elses girl/ woman
I'm principal when it comes to steady relations (Venus in Taurus)
But now I'm single, I just live... enjoy the moment
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  #5  
Unread 01-20-2007, 05:11 PM
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Re: Adultery

How about Uranus afflicting the 7th house?

I've read somewhere that adulterous shenanigans are shown by Uranus's afflictions to the Moon in a man's chart and to the Sun in a woman's.

Always a good thing to have the old man's birth details...you know, just in case.
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Unread 01-21-2007, 11:38 AM
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Re: Adultery

Well, in order to find an astrological explanation of why people cheat, I think we should first define the reasons of cheating.

There is, of course, the old "we don't communicate/love each other anymore". But that's more of a line than a reason. Here are some reasons why I think people may consider cheating.

1. They've been by their spouse and want to hurt them back (water signs?).
2. They're bored of being with one person (mutable signs spring to mind here).
3. They appreciate their current relationship in terms of security, but since it lacks the fun, they look for it elsewhere (there are your fire signs, Belgianmoonguy, but earth signs could do it to in search for pleasure).
4. Having a tendency to feel comfortable with certain types but getting attracted to completely different types (Moon opposite Mars, and arguably Moon opposite Venus in men's charts).
5. Being really in the process of separation and can't wait to ... well... rebound (Does that sound Aries to you?).

Just a few thoughts. What do you think?
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Unread 01-21-2007, 12:39 PM
Teddybull Teddybull is offline
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Re: Adultery

Sorehearted,
Pretty good examples..... agree with all.

I guess as someone said, all signs cheat. You can even justify why someone with Venus conj saturn would cheat.

I have known lots of people that have cheated. I think there must be a lack of emotional responsibility that must be indicated in a chart (moon/saturn??). I think Uranus gets a bad rap but have known people with venus/uranus aspects that can't feel settled. However much Uranus is flighty, it is also faithful.

Ultimately, is this a committment question..... committment to your word? ideals? faith?

I think adultery would accumulate alot of negative karma. Treachery and deception are involved (Neptune!). Forgiveness on the part of the unknowing person (possible payback?)

So much goes into the thought of adultery. Thanks for sharing. TB
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  #8  
Unread 01-21-2007, 12:56 PM
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Re: Adultery

although i agree with Uranus, i guess Neptune can be more an indicator of cheating and promiscuity then Uranus...

May be a bad aspect between Venus/ Mars and Neptune...

And why someone with a Venus/ Saturn would cheat...
They limit (Saturn) their affections (Venus)... They can be cold and uncaring in the affectionate department, don't allow themselves to be attached to someone... So if you aren't emotionally attached, then it isn't even cheating if you are involved with someone else (in their own opinion)...
Hope I make sense
Owner of a Sun Neptune opposition (Neptune rules my DC) and Venus Saturn opposition...
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Last edited by Belgianmoonguy; 01-21-2007 at 03:46 PM.
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  #9  
Unread 01-21-2007, 01:44 PM
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Re: Adultery

How about air signs? They are changeable, for instance a bad Venus in Gemini would make one want to stray. IMO, The cheater is looking for something to fill a void in their relationship, it may be emotional, intellectual, or sexual. Often times people grow apart over the years and go in different directions. If 2 people aren't compatible they can bring out the worst in eachother, there is no understanding. I don't know if I made sense, I have'nt had my coffee yet.
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  #10  
Unread 01-21-2007, 04:09 PM
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Re: Adultery

Hmm
People i know who have cheated or broke off a relation to be with someone else

Case 1...
3 planets in Libra (Sun/ Moon Libra), 3 in Scorpio
All those planets placed in her 5th house...
Now for two yrs almost happy together with an 11 year older Scorpio Sun/ Rising (she herself has Mercury conjunct Venus conjunct Pluto in Scorpio... Pluto is her sole dispositor) guy
Her Rising is 740' Cancer... Neptune on 533' Cap on the DC squaring Mars (823' Libra) who is placed exactly on her 5th Placidian house cusp

Case 2...
Serial Cheater...
Sun conjunct Mercury (ruler house 5) in Gemini opposed to Neptune Sag...
Neptune squares the Moon, ruler of his 7th house...

Case 3
Serial Cheater
Venus conjunct Cheiron in begin Gemini quincunx Neptune in 12 in Capricorn
His Venus Sun conjunction opposes Uranus in Sag and he has a Moon in Aries opposed to Pluto in 9 on 29 Libra
Also the ruler of his 7th house (Moon) is in 3... A indicator for divorce... (as 3 is a mutable air house... very fickle)

Case 4
Venus conjunct Mars in Aries quincunx Pluto in Scorpio and square Neptune in 8 in Capricorn. Her love life is full of deception, but sometimes it isn't clear who deceives and who is deceived (neptune at its best, i guess)
Mutable sign on the DC, ruler of that sign squares Moon in Libra...
Uranus in 7...

Case 5
Broke off a relation with someone else after she had an affair on holday...
Venus Rising in Libra, squaring her natal Mars/ Neptune conjunction in Capricon
Also Sag Moon conjunct Saturn...

Case 6...
Cheated sometimes when younger... But wasn't really emotional involved in his relations, which give him a free ride for cheating...
Sun opposed to Neptune, Venus opposed to Saturn and quincunxed Uranus...

I won't give Birth Data here of these people...

And also... stars direct but don't oblige... I mean, one has always a choice... It can always be a Capricorn who gives in to temptation, while a Sag or Gemini can be loyal as hell...
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Unread 01-21-2007, 07:02 PM
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Re: Adultery

Looking at this question is difficult since we all apply our own morality.

Looking at the human existance there have been significant changes. Astrology, in it's infancy dealt with subjects that had a life span one third as long as we have today. Transportation was limited and communication was strictly face to face. Employment was generally family oriented and had little interaction with others.

As ages passed, the opportunity to meet others increased and the procreation urges remained the same. Remember, until fairly recently, people did not divorce. Many people have strayed from the "almighty church" imposed morality. We are daily bombarded by our television giving us numerous examples of decedant behavior and creating an atmosphere of this being the norm. The anonimity of the computer and chatrooms and such has allowed a breakdown of personal morals and invited personal flights of fancy and a place that our deepest darkest desires are not frowned on, but instead encouraged.

What I am getting at, is that we need to look at some questions and seriously consider the outer planets and generational aspects and the current norm of society. We also need to look at the individuals. At what moment does adultry happen? Thinking about it? Emotionally becoming involved? Monetary commitment? Pornography? Online sexual interactions? Physical interaction... how far? In the words of an Iconic representative of our current society...." I did not have sex with that woman" and " It depends on how you define sex".

Personally, I have a problem with "owning" someone. My partners have always been individuals that were capable of making their own decisions. I do/did not ever want to have the responsibility of forcing my moral standard upon another human. And G*D help anyone insisting I live up to their expectations of what I should or shouldn't be. At this point, I don't have to mention I have an Aquarius Venus with a Square to Neptune... obvious huh?


Sorehearted did a great synapsis of the probable causes, but I am reminding everyone to look at current society and take into account the blurry line of adultry.

Getting off my soap box now,

TK
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  #12  
Unread 01-21-2007, 11:06 PM
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Re: Adultery

First of all, I dont believe we are naturally monogamous and certainly not for a lifetime. We all need different things from different people. No one person can fulfil all these. More and more women are having lovers as they are working, are financially independent often, have their own vehicles and with the advent of the mobile or cell phone, emails etc, makes it all so much easier. The thrill of the forbidden is a turn on and marriage does become mundane and predictable most of the time. Also once the partner has lost their sex appeal, put on weight etc is another reason especially in midlife when the partner becomes more like the parent.

Aspects for cheating are Venus Neptune, Mars Neptune for secret affairs.
Venus Mars Uranus for curiosity and experimentation plus being easily bored.
Pluto Venus Mars for deep sexual magnetism and wanting to dominate.
Sun Venus Mars for ego gratification and having fun,proving oneself.
Jupiter Venus Mars for the opportunities and strong drives, faith that it will all go well.

So many variations.
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  #13  
Unread 01-22-2007, 10:57 AM
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Re: Adultery

Wonderful replies... There is no answer. Adultery was here from the beginning of time.

I think one thing for sure is that we all love that 'high' that comes with so-called love. To me, that 'high' is basically lust. It doesn't last, that's why there is adultery and divorce.

We want that 'oneness' tho. It can never happen, IMHO or just for a fleeting moment. Just gets us deeper in the hole and the search still on and the story continues........

The oneness can only come from one source... within (must be a neptunian morn!). tb
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  #14  
Unread 01-22-2007, 12:34 PM
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Re: Adultery

i'm unsure about the entire span of sexual evolution as i cannot remember my past lives. there cold be some outer planet twisting that is imbedded in our sex lives.
affairs absolutely cannot achieve oneness, wholeness we all ultimately seek, BUT they do add amazing flavor to life which is high among the reasons we choose physical life to begin with.
for me, affairs are not sexual drives, they are life drives. with sex actually botching up any long term proclivities in extra marital affairs.
many swingers absolutely insist they have greater communication in their marriage; they even say, happier marriages and i believe this is because two people have come together to allow/promote the playground that is our birth right.
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  #15  
Unread 01-22-2007, 06:38 PM
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Re: Adultery

You have people for who monogamy works
You have people for who it does not work... And in some periods, monogamy works better then in other periods for the same person.
Communication about sexual matters (and above everything, in fact) is very important in a relation...
I think there would be less cheating if people talked more and showed more intrest in their partner...
IMO everyone cheats and is cheated on at least one time in their lives...
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Unread 01-23-2007, 09:58 AM
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Re: Adultery

I think you are right. Adultery doesnt have to spell the end of a marriage in any case necessarily. Some people can sustain an enduring relationship with one person, Taurus and Capricorn dominated people can do this often. I guess the answer is to never be found out if you do stray if you are the jealous type. Being in love is a chemical thing that nature provides to get us to breed. It doesnt last but changes over time into something deeper if we are lucky. My parents have been together for 61 years and I dont know if it love or co-dependency and security, perhaps that is love???? THey remain jealous of each other as well.

Claire
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Unread 01-23-2007, 10:04 AM
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Re: Adultery

Here's to you and here's to me
and here's to love and laughter
I'ill be true as long as you
and not a moment after!!

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Unread 01-23-2007, 02:20 PM
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Re: Adultery

The idea of one mate for life is inspiring and special, but how common is this when it does not exist as a morality or conventionality aspect in life?
i did a little research and think that uranus in libra could give rise to unconventional relationship ideas.
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Unread 01-23-2007, 04:06 PM
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Re: Adultery

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2rainbows
The idea of one mate for life is inspiring and special, but how common is this when it does not exist as a morality or conventionality aspect in life?
i did a little research and think that uranus in libra could give rise to unconventional relationship ideas.
2rainbows
Some of the research I have done will be quite surprising, until you really get a grasp of Capricorn and Saturn. Many couples where the man has a Venus or Mars especially in Cap, you find a family friend or "uncle" living in the home. I first stumbled across this information in a book written by.... I believe the name was Green Wolf or Grey Wolf. I was able to find some examples and to the shock of some of my Cap in Venus or Mars friends asked them how they would feel about such a situation. Most admitted that it wasn't something they would seek, but not opposed to the idea.

TK
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Unread 01-23-2007, 07:19 PM
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Re: Adultery

ok, guess i need to give clarification on the term unconventional.
my use of this term would be a relationship which is secure enough to offer each other a good deal of freedom. Perhaps the relationship between Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon could shed some light here.
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  #21  
Unread 01-24-2007, 09:22 PM
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Re: Adultery

Quote:
Originally Posted by wintersprite1
Some of the research I have done will be quite surprising, until you really get a grasp of Capricorn and Saturn. Many couples where the man has a Venus or Mars especially in Cap, you find a family friend or "uncle" living in the home. I first stumbled across this information in a book written by.... I believe the name was Green Wolf or Grey Wolf. I was able to find some examples and to the shock of some of my Cap in Venus or Mars friends asked them how they would feel about such a situation. Most admitted that it wasn't something they would seek, but not opposed to the idea.

TK
I dont see the connection with Venus Mars Capricorn and living with father, famiily friend or uncle??? Domestic arrangements belongs to the Moon and 4th house. Mercury would have to be strong there for friends and co rules maternal uncles. Paternal uncles belong to the 12th house. So Moon in 6th or 12th can be indicative of living with uncles and aunts in some cases. Moon in 3rd house can mean living with friends.

Venus Mars in Capricorn can mean having a strong sense of duty and responsibility towards loved one or looking for a parental figure or being that in a relationship. Having older and more established lovers or one that are rather disciplinarian and career oriented. So many scenarios.
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Unread 01-28-2007, 01:31 AM
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Re: Adultery

TebbyBull,

This is highly combustable topic.

The word adultry brings up the words, betrayal, lying, self delusion, intentional hurt, I mean who is crazy enought to really think adultery only hurts the spouse. There are children, the in laws, out laws, friends, community and the destruction is endless to people. My older sister was married to a man who I considered a man whore. The damage of what he did went on through the years, for a long long time. It was extremely damaging to his children, my sister and the families.
Another case, I know a guy I dated a long time ago and he told me of his parents divorce. Nasty. One night, he heard his Mom cursing and screaming and she ran out to the car. His Dad went after her. He went out to the car and His Dad grabed him and put him inside. She took off going 90 within minutes, drove to a dock and sat there for an hour. Came back to the care and said, I want a divorce. Her best friend cheated with her husband. Meanwhile, the guy I was dating told a tale that seemed almost other worldly. He stayed with his Mom, she had never worked and subsequently he became a major drug addict at the age of 14. A major sad story. He was a gifted artist and eventually went on to do something with himself. He stated once with major passion," I will never go out with a married woman" The look in his eyes told it all. Hatred, shame, a family broken. A home gone. An almost homeless look came over his face.

This is one topic bound to stir up many emotions for people.
I have known a couple married that cheated on each other with full knowledge. Strange, but no children around. Still married I believe after 25 years.

Any aspect that speaks of compulsive behaviors. Pluto
Harsh aspects of Neptune can really do it.

Yea, email, cell phones, all the easy communication contributes but not the main reason it happens.
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  #23  
Unread 01-28-2007, 11:23 AM
Teddybull Teddybull is offline
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Re: Adultery

Simply Red,
Sorry to hear of your family and friends experiences. Adultery is so heinous. I have had it done to me. However, I believe it can be forgiven plus develop a stronger union.

I also believe the karmic consequences and implications are mass. I can't understand how the cheater can do it to their spouse. Knowing that the spouse is oblivious to it all..... and innocent. Also letting in another 'soul' in an intimate union without the innocent knowing.

The person who was cheated on has the most difficult part. They have to forgive in order to move on.

I agree about harsh aspects to neptune and/or pluto. The persons who I have known that cheated had some noted natal aspects:

mars sq nep
venus conj mars and pluto
moon sq saturn

Two had Pisces moons (in inharmonious aspects w/sun) that cheated on me. I seem to attract venus and moon in Pisces. Maybe that's because of my southnode being there. (On a lighter note, I love this coming year for me - Progressed Pisces Asc with exact 11 degree conj of moon and venus and 13 degree Merc. Lovely year coming up!)

I can't digest that people who swing or are infidelity in marriage have a sound marriage. They must have other common interests but I would think they are not emotionally, psychically in tune. I can't imagine their latter years being 'golden'..... Just my thought..... blessings, tb

Last edited by Teddybull; 01-28-2007 at 11:51 AM.
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  #24  
Unread 01-28-2007, 12:40 PM
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Re: Adultery

I have so many of those supposed "cheating" indicators. Uranus in 5H Sagittarius opposed Gemini Moon, Uanus sextile both Venus and Mars, Majority fire planets, Venus in Aquarius, Jupiter square Venus, Neptune square Mars, Neptune conjunct Sun, etc, etc. Plenty of fierce independence and restlessness there As a youth I'd have sworn I'd never "cheat", it wasn't an option within my sense of morality. I didn't understand why it would even be done....it hardly seems necessary. If you "need" to cheat, it's probably more likely that you need to leave your relationship, or that your partner does! As a young adult I veered rather close once, and then also found out how it was to be on the receiving end of some less than faithful behaviour.

The main thing that now amazes me is that people will lie to their partner, and that often, their partner never discerns the lie. I would be horrified to find out that I didn't know my partner well enough to KNOW that something was compromising the relationship. Somehow the possibility of deceit is more traumatic for me than actual infidelity, whether "minor" or "major". I guess I can accept that people get bored, curious, impulsive, lonely, frustrated, and attracted to other people outside of a partnership. That's fairly natural. Mistakes happen too, although they don't have to. I'd rather never have an issue of infidelity (my own or my partner's) but I could recover from it, if I chose to, as long as no one has purposefully or consistently lied to or hurt me. Personally, the longer it took for a partner to be honest and open with me, the less chance there would be for our relationship to survive. I mean, what would I be fighting for, what would I be saving? The lie would dissolve what I though I had in the first place, and leave something far less worthy.

I would never lie about something like infidelity. I guess that is me assuming that it could only be a mistake on my bahalf, rather than a purposeful choice (I can't imagine how it could be a purposeful choice). I'm quite sure, now that I understand a little more, that I will remain faithful within a committed relationship. Faithful to me means honouring the mutual boundaries and feelings, whether or not that includes involving other people. Some people like this idea, some don't. As long as nobody is being purposefully deceitful or hurtful, then fine, I say
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Last edited by Howl; 01-29-2007 at 12:47 AM.
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Unread 01-28-2007, 12:41 PM
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Re: Adultery

Sorry, stupid double post
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