That's typical I think, pure psychology. Loser IRL has to be the master in the bedroom. It is sort of compensation ya know! But I would be afraid of such a man if I was a woman.
So you are Pluto in synastry. Hmm, would you say that Pluto is the one who gets bitter when the relationship ends? I have read both opinions. Some say that Pluto is the person who is the "loser" and becomes bitter when the relationship ends, other says its the other one who is obsessed with Pluto.
What is your take on it?
Another thing I'd like to add. So people were debating here about what kind of relationships are good vs bad.
Someone said venus and/or neptune=compassion and pluto doesn't.
I think pluto relationships can be the most binding out of all three but honestly plutonic relationships usually touch on old negative patterns that are usually shown in one's natal chart.
I have realized that regardless of how much sexual attractiveness pluto gives or charisma, or depth, I wish I didn't have pluto in my chart at all nor do I wish I had these relationships.
Although there is a positive manifestation of pluto-love energy, it rarely happens. Usually what these relationships say is that your soul is blackened, and relationships don't always make it better, sometimes it further darkens your soul. Sometimes you feel like you'll never be the same again.
If you go to past posts on this forum, there was this gemini that talked about how her dad used to beat her mom. Her dad had a stellium in scorpio I believe.
That's how pluto energy is. If it's not having an effect on you, that is how it will react to control you. If it is having an effect on you, it will watch your self-destruction as it feeds its self worth when it thinks back to that one time you exacerbated his fragile little emotions even if its not your fault. It will manipulate you in a way where your entire worth depends on their control without any care of how you feel in the process and how it is affecting you mentally, physically and emotionally.
Usually this happens because mommy or daddy invalidated or scarred you for whatever reason and plagued you with the belief that you are not good enough, that you have to manipulate to get your needs met. So you look for invalidation from your partner because that's all you've known, and you do everything in your power to change your personal story which created the framework for every other story in your life. (this is probably the cowardly nature you see in some scorpios, they don't believe they can freely express themselves)
So you manipulate Carla into believing that her self worth depends on you liking sex and how you feel towards her so you have access to everything when it comes to Carla and you control her. If Carla disobeys and she lives with you and you have secure in the fact that she's not leaving you or will be anytime soon and this can be for whatever reason, you hit her.
This way Carla-Mommy never ignores you (preventing you from intimacy and/or access) nor does Mommy-Carla invalidate your emotions and needs for whatever it is you want. And thus, that personal story is shifted to a place where you have power and someone else is vulnerable thereby getting your revenge.
Eventually Carla realizes your game and manipulation, thinks your an absolutely evil **** and if she has enough pluto in her, she will first say things that kill before she leaves and leaves you to square one all over again.
I think the only way pluto relationships can work out if there are mutual sun-moon, venus-sun, moon-ascendent, sun-ascendent, moon-venus conjunctions present.
The reason why I say this is because in this case, both people's expressions, values, and/or emotions synchronize in some way and can work together in a way that can resolve past patterns and issues. One person understands the emotions of others because that's their expression, so there's less triggering, and more direct communication.
There's respect and care. You're not going to reduce them to becoming powerless because you see yourself in that other person. Makes sense?