one-sided attraction, difficult to let go-synastry (with chart)

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meowll

Well-known member
There's this girl- my best friend- that I feel really really drawn to, we've known each other for a long time, but she doesn't feel the same for me. I think. No one really knows. Despite everything, I'm still going mad with attraction, and I'm pretty much in love with her too.

There are many squares in our chart, and when they're not squares they're neighbour signs (which are complementary, right?), so it's usually challenging. My Vertex is on her Descendant- karmic relationship?-, my Lilith on her Venus and hers on my Mars. My Gemini planets fall in her first house (I use equal houses system), and there's Venus-Mars and Moon-Mars aspects going both ways. Her Jupiter is on my Vertex, does that mean anything? Besides what I noticed, are there any other aspects or elements that explain this attraction/pining, and what I should do to let it go?I feel like she's my soulmate or something, like I literally can't be without her and it's driving me crazy.

My chart is the inner one, she's the outer. thanks!
 

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A

Arena

Well-known member
Is she not attracted to you do you think?

Her Venus is not connected to your chart like yours is to hers. But her ASC is on your Venus Moon conjunction as well as her Moon, and her Mars in aspect to that.

Maybe it is because of the lack of Venus connection from her side.
 
M

meowll

Well-known member
Arena said:
Is she not attracted to you do you think?

Her Venus is not connected to your chart like yours is to hers. But her ASC is on your Venus Moon conjunction as well as her Moon, and her Mars in aspect to that.

Maybe it is because of the lack of Venus connection from her side.
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I'm not sure if she's attracted to me. I think she is, but she denies it. Maybe not enough? Maybe if I expressed my Mars more, or if I were a guy, she wouldn't hold it back anymore. I don't know.

Thank you:) are her Venus and my Mars not close enough to be conjunct?
 
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JUPITERASC

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
meowll said:
There's this girl- my best friend
- that I feel really really drawn to, we've known each other for a long time,
but she doesn't feel the same for me. I think. No one really knows.
Despite everything, I'm still going mad with attraction, and I'm pretty much in love with her too.

There are many squares in our chart, and when they're not squares they're neighbour signs (which are complementary, right?), so it's usually challenging. My Vertex is on her Descendant- karmic relationship?-, my Lilith on her Venus and hers on my Mars.
My Gemini planets fall in her first house (I use equal houses system), and there's Venus-Mars and Moon-Mars aspects going both ways.
Her Jupiter is on my Vertex, does that mean anything?
Besides what I noticed, are there any other aspects or elements that explain this attraction/pining, and what I should do to let it go?
I feel like she's my soulmate or something, like I literally can't be without her and it's driving me crazy.

My chart is the inner one, she's the outer. thanks!
Click to expand...
Your Cancer ascendant is in aversion to her Gemini ascendant - that's not so good

Your Sagittarius Moon is in opposition to her Gemini Moon - that's not so good

Your Taurus Sun is in aversion to her Aries sun - that's not so good either

Her Aries Sun Squares your Ascendant
Her Sagittarius moon is in aversion to your Taurus Sun

Your Taurus Sun is in her 12th house
not great :smile:
 
craft94

craft94

Well-known member
meowll said:
I'm not sure if she's attracted to me. I think she is, but she denies it. Maybe not enough? Maybe if I expressed my Mars more, or if I were a guy, she wouldn't hold it back anymore. I don't know.

Thank you:) are her Venus and my Mars not close enough to be conjunct?
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It doesn't look like it. How many degrees apart are they, exactly?


Aries (and her Venus is in Aries too) is usually pretty direct and blunt so I would take her word for it, but I wouldn't want to generalize either. People are people and people keep secrets, and I know if someone I liked asked me that question, I would deny it out of fear of rejection, and maybe she's the same...or maybe she has other reasons... is she straight or does she want to be seen as straight? Does she not like the idea of being with another girl? I would ask yourself, what would her reasons be for denying it?

Does she know how you feel about her? If she doesn't, maybe you should tell her and see what happens.

I noticed that your Descendant is conjunct her Neptune, and your Descendant is conjunct your own Neptune as well. In fact, your Descendant is conjunct MY Neptune and the Neptune of everyone around your age... BUT it can cause you to glamorize and project things onto the other person. I don't necessarily mean this in a bad way. Neptune dissolves boundaries and you might have a psychic connection with her.. there might be a lot of empathy between the two of you but considering there are other links in your synastry chart, that might explain why you're so obsessed? I've also noticed that people with Lilith conjunct Venus in their natal charts tend to attract a lot of people.

Expressing the Mars might help, especially since that Mars in Aries and she's got a very fiery chart, but don't try too hard to impress her by being something you are not. It is always best to be yourself and be honest... I understand how painful love can be, but you can't force someone to love you. If this is a gender thing though, it might be a little more complicated than that.
 
A

Arena

Well-known member
Well, since you are both women - then this might just be a very straight forward NO to any kind of physical attraction from her side. You need to be attracted to the same gender/lesbian or bi to be a woman even thinking about a woman that way ;)
 
M

meowll

Well-known member
JUPITERASC said:
Your Cancer ascendant is in aversion to her Gemini ascendant - that's not so good

Your Sagittarius Moon is in opposition to her Gemini Moon - that's not so good

Your Taurus Sun is in aversion to her Aries sun - that's not so good either

Her Aries Sun Squares your Ascendant
Her Sagittarius moon is in aversion to your Taurus Sun

Your Taurus Sun is in her 12th house
not great :smile:
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Ahh...thank you T___T so many stuffs
doesn't the fact that my Sun falls into her 12th house mean that I can know her intuitively very well, that the hidden aspects of her personality are brought forth by my Sun? That does sound like a difficult thing, because I don't imagine anyone is very willing to make peace with the repressed side of them so easily. I have a friend who really dislikes people with their Sun in her 12th house. I suppose it depends on how aware you're ready to be of the different bits of yourself, as found in others?

craft94 said:
It doesn't look like it. How many degrees apart are they, exactly?


Aries (and her Venus is in Aries too) is usually pretty direct and blunt so I would take her word for it, but I wouldn't want to generalize either. People are people and people keep secrets, and I know if someone I liked asked me that question, I would deny it out of fear of rejection, and maybe she's the same...or maybe she has other reasons... is she straight or does she want to be seen as straight? Does she not like the idea of being with another girl? I would ask yourself, what would her reasons be for denying it?

Does she know how you feel about her? If she doesn't, maybe you should tell her and see what happens.

I noticed that your Descendant is conjunct her Neptune, and your Descendant is conjunct your own Neptune as well. In fact, your Descendant is conjunct MY Neptune and the Neptune of everyone around your age... BUT it can cause you to glamorize and project things onto the other person. I don't necessarily mean this in a bad way. Neptune dissolves boundaries and you might have a psychic connection with her.. there might be a lot of empathy between the two of you but considering there are other links in your synastry chart, that might explain why you're so obsessed? I've also noticed that people with Lilith conjunct Venus in their natal charts tend to attract a lot of people.

Expressing the Mars might help, especially since that Mars in Aries and she's got a very fiery chart, but don't try too hard to impress her by being something you are not. It is always best to be yourself and be honest... I understand how painful love can be, but you can't force someone to love you. If this is a gender thing though, it might be a little more complicated than that.
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They're 8 degrees away:) conjunction?

She's attracted to girls, that much is obvious, but I think she doesn't like the idea of it. She's dependent on her mother and adopted her views on life almost completely, including a heterosexual perspective...and she's attracted to men too, and I think she'd rather pursue that for the sake of convenience. Or because she simply wants someone more masculine in her life, someone to take control. But that's conflicted by the fact that she has a crush on a female friend of hers, that I think is more than just attraction...:) I did tell her, and she stopped talking to me for a while. She thinks it's just infatuation. She doesn't agree with relationships in general, I think she's scared. I told her that she should simply tell me if she doesn't like me back, but I still didn't get a concrete answer. She never asserted it. She has a lot of Pisces, unclear waters and evading the matter. But for a year now it's been like we're in a relationship, except the physical part.

Yeah, Neptune gave me quite the trouble... you're right, I always idealized the people I fell for, fell in love with their projection in my mind, in fact. It's always been obsession more than anything. So this has to do more with me than with how good we are for each other, and how we're *supposed* to be? This idea is at the core of my problems. Thank you for your input on Venus-Lilith people! And for your whole message, actually:)


Arena said:
Well, since you are both women - then this might just be a very straight forward NO to any kind of physical attraction from her side. You need to be attracted to the same gender/lesbian or bi to be a woman even thinking about a woman that way ;)
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She's definitely attracted to girls :) but as I said, having some issues with it.
 
craft94

craft94

Well-known member
meowll said:
They're 8 degrees away:) conjunction?

She's attracted to girls, that much is obvious, but I think she doesn't like the idea of it. She's dependent on her mother and adopted her views on life almost completely, including a heterosexual perspective...and she's attracted to men too, and I think she'd rather pursue that for the sake of convenience. Or because she simply wants someone more masculine in her life, someone to take control. But that's conflicted by the fact that she has a crush on a female friend of hers, that I think is more than just attraction...:) I did tell her, and she stopped talking to me for a while. She thinks it's just infatuation. She doesn't agree with relationships in general, I think she's scared. I told her that she should simply tell me if she doesn't like me back, but I still didn't get a concrete answer. She never asserted it. She has a lot of Pisces, unclear waters and evading the matter. But for a year now it's been like we're in a relationship, except the physical part.

Yeah, Neptune gave me quite the trouble... you're right, I always idealized the people I fell for, fell in love with their projection in my mind, in fact. It's always been obsession more than anything. So this has to do more with me than with how good we are for each other, and how we're *supposed* to be? This idea is at the core of my problems. Thank you for your input on Venus-Lilith people! And for your whole message, actually:)




She's definitely attracted to girls :) but as I said, having some issues with it.
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You're welcome. :)

Hmm... well, to be honest, MOST of my friendships are like relationships without the sex...because friendships are relationships... so I wouldn't necessarily interpret that as meaning she likes you in a sexual sort of way.

I don't want to destroy your hope, because I don't know you or her or what's really going... but do you think it's possible that your Neptune/Descendant conjunction could be clouding your judgement? Is she really being an evasive Piscean or are you reading too deeply into the situation, in order to find what you want to believe? Asking yourself these questions might help. You're right though: having both Mercury, her chart ruler and Mars, her sun's ruler, in the sign of Pisces will likely make her more indirect and evasive than the typical Aries Sun/Sagittarius Moon. It could be that she's just scared; scared of change, scared of vulnerability, scared of being with a woman and what her mother might think.
 
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M

meowll

Well-known member
craft94 said:
You're welcome. :)

Hmm... well, to be honest, MOST of my friendships are like relationships without the sex...because friendships are relationships... so I wouldn't necessarily interpret that as meaning she likes you in a sexual sort of way.

I don't want to destroy your hope, because I don't know you or her or what's really going... but do you think it's possible that your Neptune/Descendant conjunction could be clouding your judgement? Is she really being an evasive Piscean or are you reading too deeply into the situation, in order to find what you want to believe? Asking yourself these questions might help. You're right though: having both Mercury, her chart ruler and Mars, her sun's ruler, in the sign of Pisces will likely make her more indirect and evasive than the typical Aries Sun/Sagittarius Moon. It could be that she's just scared; scared of change, scared of vulnerability, scared of being with a woman and what her mother might think.
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Yeah, I think Neptune does play a big part in it. But in the same time, I feel like there's more to it than that. The problem is, I can't tell where Neptune ends and where reality begins, it's all really cloudy. So I'll take some time to reflect :) thank you :)
 
theV

theV

Well-known member
One of the asteroid for em/fem relationship is Sappho conjunct Aphrodite/or Venus check them out. Or Your Sappho in connection to her feminine planet.
 
theV

theV

Well-known member
theV said:
One of the asteroid for em/fem relationship is Sappho conjunct Aphrodite/or Venus check them out. Or Your Sappho in connection to her feminine planet.
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You have Sappho-Asteroid of Lesbians and Female/to female attraction- conjunct your sun which indicate same sex attraction, poetic sexulaity. Your Eros-also governs homosexuality and same sex attraction- conjunct your Moon- and Conjunct the girl's ascendant so the way she expresses her energy to the world, her appearances, her self image turns you on and make you attracted to her. And it also opposite her moon which means the way she expresses her feminine energy turns you on. You also have Mars Conjunct the Warrior Goddess eris. Mars describes the man for you but when it conjunct a dark female asteroid in a female chart it hints to same sex relationship, if it supported by other aspects like your you have Sun conjunct Saphho.

I see why she would have problem expressing same sex attraction. As her Sappho is connected to her Venus by parallel (Sappho/Venus) Venus the way woman expresses herself and Sappho is the Lesbain asteroid but they opposite Saturn which creates fear from expressing such feeling . Her Sun Conjunct Lilith which might lead her to reject some sexual feelings that she has. Sun also described the male partner for woman- when it conjunct to Lilith the asteroid of total man hatred- it indication of same sex relationship if it is supported by other aspect like hers. She has Venus conjunct Sappho. Plus Her Venus is in Aries damaged and in the Last degree in the twelfth house.

I am writing about homosexuality and lesbian relationship in my astrology blog so there will be a lot of explanations about same sex connection in astrology so keep tuned up!!
 
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theV

theV

Well-known member
I think the moon conjunct ascendant is synastry is a great and karmic aspect to have. Usually these aspect appears in familial relationship, or strong karmic relationship. It feels like home. The strange thing is that you have Venus conjunct her Ascendant which makes you highly attracted to her and strengthen the EROS CONJUNCT ASC. We have MOON/EROS/VENUS on her ascendant explains why you attracted to her so much, She is so beautiful to you.
 
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theV

theV

Well-known member
In order to know how the relationship influences partners and who is influenced more by the relationship, I have done a tri wheel comparison between the Davison Composite chart and your natal charts and hers. The Davison Venus/Antivertex/South node conjunct your natal Sun which means the way you express love and warmth to each other goes well with your identity makes you feel comfortable, it is also karmic and has old life connection kinda of feeling."I feel like she's my soulmate or something, like I literally can't be without her and it's driving me crazy."


The girl's natal Venus is conjunct the Davison Sun. The union of this relationship goes well with the way she expresses her feminine side and her inner self worth. She feels love and appreciated by this relationship.

The Sun/Chiron in Davison is for homosexual relationship or non-mutual feelings,wounded relationship.
 
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theV

theV

Well-known member
It isn't the matter that she is too much of Pisces or Neptune. It scares off people when you admit their love to them especially when it is same sex. You don't expect that she will reply to your desires soon. You must caught her off guard. Your obsession with people is your SUN/PLUTO
 
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craft94

craft94

Well-known member
theV said:
You have Sappho-Asteroid of Lesbians and Female/to female attraction- conjunct your sun which indicate same sex attraction, poetic sexulaity. Your Eros-also governs homosexuality and same sex attraction- conjunct your Moon- and Conjunct the girl's ascendant so the way she expresses her energy to the world, her appearances, her self image turns you on and make you attracted to her. And it also opposite her moon which means the way she expresses her feminine energy turns you on. You also have Mars Conjunct the Warrior Goddess eris. Mars describes the man for you but when it conjunct a dark female asteroid in a female chart it hints to same sex relationship, if it supported by other aspects like your you have Sun conjunct Saphho.

I see why she would have problem expressing same sex attraction. As her Sappho is connected to her Venus by parallel (Sappho/Venus) Venus the way woman expresses herself and Sappho is the Lesbain asteroid but they opposite Saturn which creates fear from expressing such feeling . Her Sun Conjunct Lilith which might lead her to reject some sexual feelings that she has. Sun also described the male partner for woman- when it conjunct to Lilith the asteroid of total man hatred- it indication of same sex relationship if it is supported by other aspect like hers. She has Venus conjunct Sappho. Plus Her Venus is in Aries damaged and in the Last degree in the twelfth house.

I am writing about homosexuality and lesbian relationship in my astrology blog so there will be a lot of explanations about same sex connection in astrology so keep tuned up!!
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I know this isn't my thread but I find this so interesting. I know hardly anything about asteroids. There's too many of them. Can I message you?

I never thought astrology was able to determine someone's sexual orientation... I've read Uranus-Venus or Mars aspects can indicate homosexuality but I know many straight people with this aspect and gay people without it. I also think air (especially venus in air) signs in general tend to be more "open" but besides that...
 
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theV

theV

Well-known member
craft94 said:
I know this isn't my thread but I find this so interesting. I know hardly anything about asteroids. There's too many of them. Can I message you?

I never thought astrology was able to determine someone's sexual orientation... I've read Uranus-Venus or Mars aspects can indicate homosexuality but I know many straight people with this aspect and gay people without it. I also think air (especially venus in air) signs in general tend to be more "open" but besides that...
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Thank you.:biggrin: I have been investigating homosexuality and lesbian; mainly studying lgbt community. I am currently trying to write an articles about gay astrology in my blog-should be up when I finish it- you could message me and fill me with inquiries. :biggrin: But I can't elaborate much.
 
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M

meowll

Well-known member
theV said:
You have Sappho-Asteroid of Lesbians and Female/to female attraction- conjunct your sun which indicate same sex attraction, poetic sexulaity. Your Eros-also governs homosexuality and same sex attraction- conjunct your Moon- and Conjunct the girl's ascendant so the way she expresses her energy to the world, her appearances, her self image turns you on and make you attracted to her. And it also opposite her moon which means the way she expresses her feminine energy turns you on. You also have Mars Conjunct the Warrior Goddess eris. Mars describes the man for you but when it conjunct a dark female asteroid in a female chart it hints to same sex relationship, if it supported by other aspects like your you have Sun conjunct Saphho.

I see why she would have problem expressing same sex attraction. As her Sappho is connected to her Venus by parallel (Sappho/Venus) Venus the way woman expresses herself and Sappho is the Lesbain asteroid but they opposite Saturn which creates fear from expressing such feeling . Her Sun Conjunct Lilith which might lead her to reject some sexual feelings that she has. Sun also described the male partner for woman- when it conjunct to Lilith the asteroid of total man hatred- it indication of same sex relationship if it is supported by other aspect like hers. She has Venus conjunct Sappho. Plus Her Venus is in Aries damaged and in the Last degree in the twelfth house.

I am writing about homosexuality and lesbian relationship in my astrology blog so there will be a lot of explanations about same sex connection in astrology so keep tuned up!!
Click to expand...

Oh my god, this is priceless. Thanks so much!! It all makes a lot of sense. I haven't read much about asteroids until now.

What do you mean by her Sappho/Venus opposite Saturn? Aren't the first two in Aries and Saturn in Pisces? How do they oppose each other?

The Lilith conjunct Sun makes a lot of sense. I've also seen that her Lilith is conjunct her Venus in other versions of the chart. Is it the mean/true Lilith difference, or why do they appear differently? How would you interpret Lilith on Venus? Would it make sense for this difficulty to accept possible same-sex attraction, given that Sappho is also there?

Could you post a link to your blog??


theV said:
I think the moon conjunct ascendant is synastry is a great and karmic aspect to have. Usually these aspect appears in familial relationship, or strong karmic relationship. It feels like home. The strange thing is that you have Venus conjunct her Ascendant which makes you highly attracted to her and strengthen the EROS CONJUNCT ASC. We have MOON/EROS/VENUS on her ascendant explains why you attracted to her so much, She is so beautiful to you.
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Wow:) Would it make sense to say that it feels like home more for me, since I'm the Moon person?

theV said:
Can I use your synastry aspect as an example in my article but without data or infos.
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Of course:)

theV said:
In order to know how the relationship influences partners and who is influenced more by the relationship, I have done a tri wheel comparison between the Davison Composite chart and your natal charts and hers. The Davison Venus/Antivertex/South node conjunct your natal Sun which means the way you express love and warmth to each other goes well with your identity makes you feel comfortable, it is also karmic and has old life connection kinda of feeling."I feel like she's my soulmate or something, like I literally can't be without her and it's driving me crazy."


The girl's natal Venus is conjunct the Davison Sun. The union of this relationship goes well with the way she expresses her feminine side and her inner self worth. She feels love and appreciated by this relationship.

The Sun/Chiron in Davison is for homosexual relationship or non-mutual feelings,wounded relationship.
Click to expand...

Is there any site that compiles the Davison chart, so I can see it too? The Venus/Antivertex/South Node does sound like something pertaining to a past existence. Could you detail onthe Sun/Chiron aspect in out Davison? If it's not too much of a bother.

Thank you so much for your interpretation. I'm completely amazed. O.O
 
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