Dark night of the soul - companions or a solitary path?

Or are there any companions during such a process?

Though there are many dark nights of the soul, times of life of despair and no light at the end of the tunnel... during such times, are we meant to be totally alone, or have some companion around?

From what I've learned personally, and read about, I feel that perhaps it is a solitary journey. Perhaps, on the inner journeys of the soul, it is up to the individual to process what comes up, in the way that is best for them, then to later bring this knowledge into the world.

For me, I love people, but now find myself without what I term, any true friends. Three or four years back, I cut my circle of friends down as my own life path changed, became more healthier and didn't blend with the prior friendship's social activities. Now, I am going through a very painful process and have found, the few friends that I had left, just haven't been there for me. Its been sad as I thought these were true friends, but they've just vanished. I have no one to bounce my ideas off and feel quite isolated. I do have self awareness, through meditation and the energy that creates (awareness meditation opposed to other types), which helps me to step back and see my situation. When I would have loved a friend to just send me a message to ask how I was, there was nothing. Maybe I expect more as I do so much more for my friends, so need to let these expectations go.

For me, I am learning to be content in isolation, rather than lonely, though much of my life has been quite lonely. Or it seems to be more of an emphasis on the lonliness, perhaps because I find that most painful. There have been happy times too. Perhaps that is the lesson of the north node conjunct neptune in the 12th house, square Moon (bla bla) in isolation. Though at times, I get fed up with it.

Perhaps it's linked with my own astrological transits, Saturn going through my 11th house right now, thinning and limiting and/or concentrating my friendship zone. Transiting Neptune is now conjuncting natal Moon and progressed Sun conjunction. Seeing as those two planets, 'lights' are pretty much a great deal of the personality, I maybe getting more and more lost as the months roll on.

Not sure my question is clear, but really I am just looking for other people's experiences of the dark night of the soul. Did you have companions to lean on, talk to, or was/is it a solitary path?

I've attached my chart, showing transits and progressions.

For me, and I think by definition, the dark night of the soul is a journey that we must make by ourselves. Even if there are friends, it really doesn't make much difference. And I think you are correct, that transiting Neptune's contacts to natal Moon and progressed Sun are a major source of this very vital learning experience.

I wish you well and will keep you in my thoughts as you follow your path.

Very kind regards,

I agree with Ilene. I think Dark Nights of the Soul are largely solitary journeys. I think they also correspond to an awakening/enlightening process. Do you have a Guru? Usually a Guru can guide someone through these times as they've experienced similar steps in their journey.

I have recently had a similar experience to you. My old friendships are fading away as I'm engaging in a different path. I find myself with little true contact with really anyone these days. However, thinking back, like you, I was always the supportive one. Now that the tables have turned I find little support. It's been a huge lesson. A lesson that I've been much too giving of myself in the past... giving in the sense of sacrificing myself. This realization has empowered me.

I noticed that Chiron is transiting your Moon. I'm wondering if that has something to do with you current scenario.

I wish you the best!

dark nights of the soul, are always lonely. I think because humans are such social creatures we become too dependent on having people be there for us in times of crisis. Which 90% of the time just doesn't happen, and if it does, it's never enough or what we need. So i think these are meant to be solitary journeys. In my own experiences strangers have left a more significant impact on me during those lonely times. Might just be because of being more sensitive, or noticing more in others.. but strangers can act like guides. showing you what you don't want to become, what you might need more of in your own life, or what you aspire to be like. and you need the solitude to process and reflect on your situation. without interference.

it's good to bear in mind. that the dark nights will pass... and the brilliant dawn will come again. and it will be the most beautiful thing ..

Dark night of the soul

Technically what is being described here as the "Dark Night of the Soul" is the one of the many "Dark Nights of the Personality".

The Dark Night of the Soul is an esoteric term which describes a period between the 4th and 5th initiations where the Soul needs to be given up and as it reaches toward and is accepted into the ONE LIFE of the SPIRIT or Monad.

Unless one is familiar with the Trans-Himalayan Wisdom School of esoteric study, one would not know this. Its OK to continue to use it in its common term for deep heavy experiences of lonliness. But people should know that its a description for the ultimate experience of which the others are just pale shadows. It was during this experience during the Crucifixion Initiation(the 4th) that the Christ wailed in the agony of ultimate LOVE on the Cross, "My God, My God, Why has THOU forsaken me?"

Z

IleneK said:

For me, and I think by definition, the dark night of the soul is a journey that we must make by ourselves. Even if there are friends, it really doesn't make much difference. And I think you are correct, that transiting Neptune's contacts to natal Moon and progressed Sun are a major source of this very vital learning experience.

I wish you well and will keep you in my thoughts as you follow your path.

Very kind regards,

Click to expand...

Thank you Ilene, yes its so true, I wouldn't know how to be with friends, how to express what I have inside. Even though I feel like I want support, I wouldn't know how to receive or what I need to receive, in terms of support. I fear this Neptune transit to the prog Sun/natal Moon will loosen some established aspects of myself, may break bonds which go far beyond friendship, which will totally change my whole sense of self. It is very much like loosing my self at the moment and I think I'm reaching out to friends to rescue me from this, in some way.

Thank you for your thoughts, I appreciate your kindness.

StillOne said:

I agree with Ilene. I think Dark Nights of the Soul are largely solitary journeys. I think they also correspond to an awakening/enlightening process. Do you have a Guru? Usually a Guru can guide someone through these times as they've experienced similar steps in their journey.

I have recently had a similar experience to you. My old friendships are fading away as I'm engaging in a different path. I find myself with little true contact with really anyone these days. However, thinking back, like you, I was always the supportive one. Now that the tables have turned I find little support. It's been a huge lesson. A lesson that I've been much too giving of myself in the past... giving in the sense of sacrificing myself. This realization has empowered me.

I noticed that Chiron is transiting your Moon. I'm wondering if that has something to do with you current scenario.

I wish you the best!

Click to expand...

Interesting you mention a guru. I have had a person in my life over the last few years, much older and so in tune with me. He helped me while I started out on my self employment yoga/movement teaching path so much. But now I am a little more established, even that bond seems to be breaking now. I met a yoga teacher last week recommended to me by two people, and I never get recommendations for yoga teachers, I hardly ever go to yoga teachers as I have a few specific structural problems, its hard for me to find one that I can trust to take me through a class. I was surprised he actually helped my bad back and led me through movements I thought I could never do again. Maybe he is a guru for me? Otherwise, I don't have any guru, I would love to meet one. Though they come when we are ready, maybe I'm not ready yet.

Interesting to you say you were the supportive one. I guess when we need the support, those that we supported are not able to give what we gave and how we gave it. Its teaching me alot.

Yes I do believe the Chiron to Moon transit is also in effect. That was painful, I am processing all that has happened, very slowly coming to terms with what it, though still not happy with what has happened (to put it mildly) and I questioned the Universe in how it could let what happened, happen (not to me but to someone close). I really lost my faith in everything, Universe, myself, God.

I think I am currently at the 'stunned and silent' stage of all this, I think things are being processed unconsciously somehow, I have some faith in that and some belief in the power of healing.

Thanks

ashriia said:

dark nights of the soul, are always lonely. I think because humans are such social creatures we become too dependent on having people be there for us in times of crisis. Which 90% of the time just doesn't happen, and if it does, it's never enough or what we need.

it's good to bear in mind. that the dark nights will pass... and the brilliant dawn will come again. and it will be the most beautiful thing ..

Click to expand...

Thanks for the hope, I do hope the dawn will come!

Yes I agree, the want that I have in support won't be satisfied through someone else. Very true, I love to be with people but also value my time alone. I think I am more needy at this time and have usually been the one supporting. I totally agree in needing the solitude to process all that is happening.

Thanks again!

kimbermoon said:

.what I learned from my own experience is that the Universal intent of this experience is about helping us to reconnect with our inner divinity and our connection to the ALL; we need to get back to knowing about our inner Soul that lies, often hidden, within the psyche. With all the distractions of the world that is typically very difficult to do, with so many external voices telling us what we ought to do, what we ought to believe in, how we should feel, etc...we must each eventually listen to our own inner guidance, and see the opinions of others for what they are...merely opinions! In terms of the loneliness, I also learned to differentiate between 'being alone', comfortably, and the feeling of loneliness...they are not the same...personally I have learned to value my 'alone time' for it is the only time you can truly 'be yourself'...on my dad's deathbed, he made a very strange request directed towards my partner; he asked him to be my 'DARK KNIGHT'...this was a very unexpected request, which took many years for the understanding to become clear...as such; at times we must find that 'beacon, that Knight' , who can lead us through the darkness and show us the way to salvation...perhaps it was a reference to the mythical Percival [Chiron in the chart] ...and by the way my partner's middle name is Percival, which I'm sure my father had no knowledge of...psych!

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Hello, thank you for sharing your experience. What a lovely story of your father's request! In some way, finding value in alone time, for me, seems like a final way of feeling whole. I am not there yet but gradually starting to let go of my attachments. The only thing that seems similar, is the feeling I got when I go on silent meditation retreats and have nothing but meditation. I fluctuate between being settled in myself and wanting to escape. I hope I can one day find a beacon!

Re: Dark night of the soul

Zarathu said:

Technically what is being described here as the "Dark Night of the Soul" is the one of the many "Dark Nights of the Personality".

The Dark Night of the Soul is an esoteric term which describes a period between the 4th and 5th initiations where the Soul needs to be given up and as it reaches toward and is accepted into the ONE LIFE of the SPIRIT or Monad.

Unless one is familiar with the Trans-Himalayan Wisdom School of esoteric study, one would not know this. Its OK to continue to use it in its common term for deep heavy experiences of lonliness. But people should know that its a description for the ultimate experience of which the others are just pale shadows. It was during this experience during the Crucifixion Initiation(the 4th) that the Christ wailed in the agony of ultimate LOVE on the Cross, "My God, My God, Why has THOU forsaken me?"

Z

Click to expand...

Interesting and thank you, and I haven't looked into Trans-Himalayan Wisdom. I know of no other way to describe this experience, and I am not even sure if I can articulate it fully. I pretty much feel, why has Thou forsaken those that I love. Then why has Thou forsaken me. I am not religious, though I have a religion. I have had faith in the unknown, though its all but gone. A fraction is left that I tune into when I send my thoughts to help my loved one heal. To be honest, there have been times when I completely lost my fear of my own death, through reasons maybe apparent, its been that painful to go through. It feels a lot more than just a period of 'loneliness'. But, I don't dislike the pain, I just seek to understand the process. I wouldn't want to mask the pain (well maybe sometimes with a glass of wine), I accept its part of life as is love. I feel its more a gradual dissolving of my self, as I have been up until now, a bit like jumping into a sea of black water, no daylight, and trying to swim somewhere but not knowing if any land actually exists.

i feel like i've been going through this process myself for the past 6 months. i do have friends and they have been supportive but at the end of the day (or should i say night), you really have to do it alone.

even if you do have supportive friends, they have their own lives and stresses. i can see how people reach out to god during these times. how they become born again christians etc. i don't subscribe to organised religion and i don't believe in the judeo-christian idea of a 'god', but i have been reaching out to 'the universe' even though i feel like they've been playing a cosmic joke on me. i just don't know what else to hold onto so the little shred of faith i have, i am hanging onto.

hang in there.

its possible for you to find someone that suits you.

your 7th ruler mercury is in aquarius square uranus near the 11th.

venus is inconjunct saturn in the 7th. venus in aquarius is already a less commital venus then it inconjuncts saturn in cancer.

with the venus also square uranus it can make communications go haywire. part of it is you becoming undermining of relations part of it is on their end.

then mars accelerated in sagittarius in 1st square jupiter in pisces in 3rd. when you start communicating with men it is easy to be overenthusiastic or get promised more or promise more than possible.

this is settled in by moon in pisces square neptune where you need to feel connected to the person in a most intimate dream-like setting.

for the other person with the moon becoming washed over or washing over someone and then mars/jupiter jumping in and out it creates discordant timing in relations with venus square uranus.

although it can intrinsically be balanced out because you can know when to stop thinking when to go who you feel comfortable with, but in the practical world the relationships become the lacuni. becuase of the randomness.

"Alone and without his nest shall the eagle fly across the face of the sun." -- Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

"Mas vale estar solo que mal acompanado." -- Mexican proverb. (Better alone than in bad company.)

You wouldn't be alone if the Cosmos didn't intend it.

greybeard said:

"Alone and without his nest shall the eagle fly across the face of the sun." -- Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

"Mas vale estar solo que mal acompanado." -- Mexican proverb. (Better alone than in bad company.)

You wouldn't be alone if the Cosmos didn't intend it.

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Greybeard, I've come to really love your wisdom and offerings on this forum. i love that mexican proverb. I am half mexican and i've never heard it before.

so true, so true.

I don't know why this process is so hard, I can logical-ize it like this. I mean, I'm 38 years old, I thought I had some sort of sure footing in life, by now. I guess part of it is the fear of loosing someone close to me. I was sitting on the bus today, just thinking and realising how much on a fence I feel, between life and death. Don't get me wrong though, I would never end my life, but just observing the place where I am. Almost like being on a threshold, but not quite as positive. Like being at the front of a door that could open, but realising that behind the door they may actually be only a desolate field (a bit like the scorched land in the film Judge Dredd).

Lol, I know I sound very dramatic.

Re: Dark night of the soul

Caprising said:

I would look at your present situation in this light especially considering that Uranus is approaching your natal I/C at this time. Themes of sudden insights concerning any particular life situation/direction have been assigned to this conjunction, along with breaking out of ruts with a sudden rush of inspiration! The downside is that these sudden rushes of inspiration can lead to an impractical solution so I wouldn't advise making any rash changes without first considering all of the probable implications of any major change!

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Thanks so much Caprising for all your post. This one above I am starting to feel, nearly jumped into a silly decision to move house! Though I realise I can feel the instability in me.

Your assignment of Saturn transiting your 11th house to your present view of friends sounds right, Saturn gives us another perpective to consider, while Neptune allows us to see what we want to see. I believe that the middle ground (between saturn and neptune) is probably closest to the truth, there will always be personal issues that friends just can't fathom unless they have "been there" themselves, so expecting them to have a good grasp of what you are going through is not neccasarily being realistic!
I hate to think how many friends I let down because I had no idea of what they were experiencing at times, but thats part of being human so I don't beat myself up over it. There is another saying that's thrown around a lot these days, it's " Friends come and go but enemies accumulate"....Most people that I know lose contact with their friends once they get married/have children, move to new locations etc., so by the time they hit their 40s they start to feel a bit lonely when the chips are down, maybe that's one of the reasons why the internet has flourished! Oh, by the way you have a page full of friends listed on your profile

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That's sweet of you to remind me of my profile friends.

Interesting quote, aak I don't want to be accumulating enemies! I just noticed how a close friend, when I stopped contacting her 5 months ago, I would not hear from her. Something happened in my life at that time that I really needed just a hug. Lol, I'm soft. I have always been the one to be the listener and supporter. I am learning alot from it though, how to be stronger by myself. This time and space is probably good for me to know myself, as you mention, and be a good friend to myself.

bittermoon said:

i feel like i've been going through this process myself for the past 6 months. i do have friends and they have been supportive but at the end of the day (or should i say night), you really have to do it alone.

even if you do have supportive friends, they have their own lives and stresses. i can see how people reach out to god during these times. how they become born again christians etc. i don't subscribe to organised religion and i don't believe in the judeo-christian idea of a 'god', but i have been reaching out to 'the universe' even though i feel like they've been playing a cosmic joke on me. i just don't know what else to hold onto so the little shred of faith i have, i am hanging onto.

hang in there.

Click to expand...

Thank you!

I do relate to reaching out to the Universe, even though it just seems to be so cruel to others at times.

gen6k said:

its possible for you to find someone that suits you.

your 7th ruler mercury is in aquarius square uranus near the 11th.

venus is inconjunct saturn in the 7th. venus in aquarius is already a less commital venus then it inconjuncts saturn in cancer.

with the venus also square uranus it can make communications go haywire. part of it is you becoming undermining of relations part of it is on their end.

then mars accelerated in sagittarius in 1st square jupiter in pisces in 3rd. when you start communicating with men it is easy to be overenthusiastic or get promised more or promise more than possible.

this is settled in by moon in pisces square neptune where you need to feel connected to the person in a most intimate dream-like setting.

for the other person with the moon becoming washed over or washing over someone and then mars/jupiter jumping in and out it creates discordant timing in relations with venus square uranus.

although it can intrinsically be balanced out because you can know when to stop thinking when to go who you feel comfortable with, but in the practical world the relationships become the lacuni. becuase of the randomness.

Click to expand...

Thank you, interesting interpretation. I know, Pisces Moon square Neptune, I feel alot and sense alot. I do hope I find someone to suit me, though wouldn't want to find someone like me! Friendships have usually been more stable, for me, than relationships. Perhaps my emotions may be too much at times, for others. I wonder if this progressed Sun to my natal Moon is putting my in touch more accutely with my emotions at this time. Thank you for the interesting interpretation.

greybeard said:

"Alone and without his nest shall the eagle fly across the face of the sun." -- Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

"Mas vale estar solo que mal acompanado." -- Mexican proverb. (Better alone than in bad company.)

You wouldn't be alone if the Cosmos didn't intend it.

Click to expand...

Thank you, so true the above. I absolutly love that first quote about the eagle, as well as the Mexican proverb. Cosmos has its own plans, regardless of my wants.

I appreciate the quotes, thanks very much Greybeard.