Starved for Emotional Intimacy

I've reached a point in my life, at 23 where i am more or less completely starved of emotional intimacy to the point where the loneliness is creating a world of depression and hopelessness.

Looking at my chart, i have my eye on Chiron in Cancer conjunct my Sun, an overwhelming feeling of been unloved, undeserving or never feeling like i receive enough love. In relationships i have been the one to lose myself completely in the other person, neglecting my self (perhaps Sun opposite Neptune?

It's a piercing feeling of been utterly Alone in life, it's been a slow buildup over the years but now i've hit a point of desperation. Socializing has now become the most important aspect in my life, whereas in the past i could go months without leaving the house.

Would i be correct in assuming these aspects, could anyone suggest any others and why?

Thankyou!

I hear you! With T. Pluto on your 8th House Saturn (and Uranus and Neptune opposite 2nd House Cancer Sun/Chiron) and T Saturn on your Pluto - life doesn't get any lonelier. And it won't be that way forever, or even for that much longer. T Saturn moves on in a few months and Pluto in the 8th will probably bring you a partner to love. First you get to LONG.

So practice loving yourself! Be as good to yourself as you plan to be to your future partner. Can't be intimate with someone else if you can't be intimate and healing with yourself.

Become the person worthy of the mate you long for. Do not imagine or project that this feeling, that this constriction, will last forever because it won't. Soon enough you will be deeply involved in being in relationship and wanting readings about THAT.

lazarusx said:

I've reached a point in my life, at 23 where i am more or less completely starved of emotional intimacy to the point where the loneliness is creating a world of depression and hopelessness.

Looking at my chart, i have my eye on Chiron in Cancer conjunct my Sun, an overwhelming feeling of been unloved, undeserving or never feeling like i receive enough love. In relationships i have been the one to lose myself completely in the other person, neglecting my self (perhaps Sun opposite Neptune?

It's a piercing feeling of been utterly Alone in life, it's been a slow buildup over the years but now i've hit a point of desperation. Socializing has now become the most important aspect in my life, whereas in the past i could go months without leaving the house.

Would i be correct in assuming these aspects, could anyone suggest any others and why?

Thankyou!

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I think that, along with your very close natal conjunction of Sun and Chiron in the sign of caring and nurturing and signifying an archaic wound in that area, natal Saturn's close opposition is also certainly not nurturing.

This opposition lays the inherent groundwork for how you are feeling, and as RosieOne noted, transiting Pluto's conjunction/opposition combined with transiting Uranus' square to the natal opposition has brought this dynamic up for significant review and transformation.

RosieOne said:

I hear you! With T. Pluto on your 8th House Saturn (and Uranus and Neptune opposite 2nd House Cancer Sun/Chiron) and T Saturn on your Pluto - life doesn't get any lonelier. And it won't be that way forever, or even for that much longer. T Saturn moves on in a few months and Pluto in the 8th will probably bring you a partner to love. First you get to LONG.

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I was curious how those transits were effecting me, thankyou for explaining. Yeah right now life is desolate but its reassuring to hear that it will pass and soon.

RosieOne said:

Become the person worthy of the mate you long for. Do not imagine or project that this feeling, that this constriction, will last forever because it won't. Soon enough you will be deeply involved in being in relationship and wanting readings about THAT.

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Hehe, this is a very encouraging, i do hope so. It's bizarre for me, up until the last year i wasn't too phased if i had someone or not. It simply wasn't high on my list of priorities, but now.. its quite literally all i can focus on. I'm missing an enormous part of what it means to be human, genuine emotional connection and intimacy.

My sun has progressed into Leo and conjunct Natal Venus, so i guess im looking now.

To RosieOne: Your post is lovely and so so true. Thank you!

Life does sometimes feel lonely at times notwithstanding personal transits. People being either in their homes, jobs, or cars doesnt make it easier, does it?

God bless.

S5

Cancer Sun conjunct Chiron makes you Chironic this life. You embody the archetype of the wounded healer. This means in your lifelong quest to heal yourself, to come into full integrity and deep honesty (2nd House), you get really really good at helping others. Come your Chiron Return age 50, if you stay true to this quest, you will be rewarded with full powers.

Chiron was an astrologer, a magician, a spiritual teacher, a warrior and a healer. You should attempt to be all those things too.

Watch Debra Silverman enact the signs of the zodiac, in order - Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sage, Craaapycorn, Aquarium and Pie-in-the-Sky-ease (Pisces). Pay personal attention to Cancer (Sun) and Gemini (Moon and Rising). Also Pisces (your career and calling) and Capricorn (your psychic abilites).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlngG8Fgdc8

Basic hygiene for psychics:

1. Put salt in your bath and take a daily bath (or shower - imagine the water is white light). But be sure to soak some too, in epsom salts, even table salt, or bath salts. This removes other-people's-stuff from your aura.
2. Never wear the same clothes two days in a row. Clean clothes everyday because other-people's-stuff clings to your clothes.
3. Wash your hair often for the same reason.
4. Shield yourself.
a. Learn all about rocks and use them.
b. Invoke the white light all around you, or angels, or Love, or the Great Heart, Cosmos, or God...

Now your Sun/Chiron is in Cancer in the 2nd, and married to (opposite) your generation's whiz bang cosmic Craaapy Neptune/Uranus conjunction. AND you are born in the year, through that window, when Saturn was conjunct Uranus/Neptune - which means your life work, in some sense or other, is to be psychic. Especially in the 8th House. Especially with a Pie-in-the Sky midheaven.

Have you ever given a Tarot reading? For specific questions, Horary astrology works, I am told - though I have never had time or passion to explore it and probably won't. Because for those specific questions, and predictive ones, I just do a tarot reading.

Astrology provides the master plan and blueprint, tarot is great for the details. Learning the classic tarot is fun but these days you can buy decks where the pictures tell you exactly what the card means, enough for you to hook in and start channeling via your psychic gift, immediately.

Tomorrow I will speak about your Gem-am-I Moon, Mercury, Jupiter and Rising in the 1st House of IMPUT, IMPUT, IMPUT, I need to know MORE, FASTER!

Your description sounds quite much like my current life situation. You have my sympathies, Lazarusx.

Wow i didn't except such an informative post, thankyou Rosie.

RosieOne said:

Cancer Sun conjunct Chiron makes you Chironic this life. You embody the archetype of the wounded healer. This means in your lifelong quest to heal yourself, to come into full integrity and deep honesty (2nd House), you get really really good at helping others. Come your Chiron Return age 50, if you stay true to this quest, you will be rewarded with full powers.

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Thats quite interesting to hear, especially the "lifelong quest to heal yourself"; I am almost 100% of the time focused on myself, not in a selfish manner but im always trying to improve on myself as a human being. It's impossible for me to deceive or lie to myself because im so aware of my faults and to me it would be like spiritual suicide to sweep any aspect of myself under the rug, i have to know everything and attempt to fix/heal.

RosieOne said:

Now your Sun/Chiron is in Cancer in the 2nd, and married to (opposite) your generation's whiz bang cosmic Craaapy Neptune/Uranus conjunction. AND you are born in the year, through that window, when Saturn was conjunct Uranus/Neptune - which means your life work, in some sense or other, is to be psychic. Especially in the 8th House. Especially with a Pie-in-the Sky midheaven.

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Yeah, i think deep beneath the surface there's an inclination to want to help people; but fear as stood in the way for a long time. Constant doubt, confusion, fear of responsibility. But the more i go through life the more i realize i will never be satisfied with living for myself, it must expand beyond myself into a much larger cause.

RosieOne said:

Have you ever given a Tarot reading? For specific questions, Horary astrology works, I am told - though I have never had time or passion to explore it and probably won't. Because for those specific questions, and predictive ones, I just do a tarot reading.

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I never have, i once participated in a tarot reading from a friend which i found interesting but i've never really looked into it at all.

faustus said:

Your description sounds quite much like my current life situation. You have my sympathies, Lazarusx.

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Thankyou faustus, i appreciate it. I hope both our situations improve..

i see you getting into a serious relation in a rush around 26-27 age and later realising that it doesnt satisfy you emotionally

I'm an Aquarian and down through the many decades of my life, I have never had one specific prediction like the one posted above come true. This may be the rebel in me acting out, my commitment to the power of my free will and ability to change my life moment to moment, or maybe specific predictions as a concept is flawed.


You have a super powerful Gemimi Moon, Mercury and Jupiter in the 1st House, Gemini Rising. I usually say that Gemini folk have 15 thoughts/feelings to everyone else's one. But with Jupiter, the numbers go way up. You have 150 thoughts and feeling to my one. Or more.

Your incarnated in with the Gemni Rising tribe, so you are here to gather info, and disiminate it, be a messenger, networker, to be a HUB sort of person, who knows everything and can be accessed for info by others.

The down side of Gemini Moon is WORRY. Nobody is faster to dream up the worse that can happen and so forth. Thus you need to discipline your mind. You need to find methods to stop yourself from wasting your mental/emotional energy on scaring yourself, and/or dreaming up negative possibilities. Rather train your mind and use your mind to explore positive potentials and possibilities.

RosieOne I have a question: Could you please give me the name of the Tarot deck that describes the meaning of said card? Is it true that a Tarot deck should be purchased by another person, say as a gift, that one shouldnt buy their own deck? (Honestly, I dont remember where i heard or read this but it's supposed to have to do with the readers energy, I guess?) If you can recommend a really good book on how to interpret layouts I would appreciate it.

Blessings to you
S5

RosieOne said:

You have a super powerful Gemimi Moon, Mercury and Jupiter in the 1st House, Gemini Rising. I usually say that Gemini folk have 15 thoughts/feelings to everyone else's one. But with Jupiter, the numbers go way up. You have 150 thoughts and feeling to my one. Or more.

Your incarnated in with the Gemni Rising tribe, so you are here to gather info, and disiminate it, be a messenger, networker, to be a HUB sort of person, who knows everything and can be accessed for info by others.

The down side of Gemini Moon is WORRY. Nobody is faster to dream up the worse that can happen and so forth. Thus you need to discipline your mind. You need to find methods to stop yourself from wasting your mental/emotional energy on scaring yourself, and/or dreaming up negative possibilities. Rather train your mind and use your mind to explore positive potentials and possibilities.

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Hey Rosie, thankyou dearly for taking the time to reply to my question and beyond! I appreciate it

Yeah my thoughts and emotions are insanely erratic. It creates much confusion when it comes to hard decisions like my direction in life because it's so unbelievably changeable.

I think my Gemini stellium overpowers my Cancer Sun, I cant begin to describe my burning desire to socialize lately in my life. I just spent 8 months traveling Europe on my own.. it reached a point where it became a lifestyle, a way of life.. moving from one place to the next, constantly meeting new people. I felt like i was in my element.. never been happier, which is rather consistent with Gemini's nature of messenger/networker.

Now that i am back home, stuck in one place with little social contact.. it's almost soul-destroying. All im focused on now is getting back out into the world and making it more of a permanent lifestyle. I can't feel like im tied down to one place otherwise i become severely depressed.

Anyhow, thankyou again

Travel! Yes!

But when you can't travel, expand your horizons in other ways! Explore your own town. Read every magazine in your library - to learn about mass culture. Take a class. Take up a new exciting study about something cosmic. Visit every temple and church in your town, just to feel them all out and connect with people across beliefs and cultures. Learn and play music. Pick up a new language. Visit every museum and...

Being bored is death to Gemini energu folk - they hate it and actually will create drama rather than have to suffer boredom. FEED YOUR HEAD and HEART lots and lots of IMPUT and experiences.

Whose fault is it if Gem-Am-I folk get bored?

Notice how your Northnode (your soul's agenda this life) is on the cusp of your 9th House of travel and otherwise expanding your horizons!

Here is Elizabeth Spring on NN in Aquarium: http://northnodeastrology.blogspot.com/2008/02/aquarius-north-node.html

And NN in 9th House: http://northnodeastrology.blogspot.com/2008/05/south-node-3rd-house-north-node-9th.html

Hi serafin5!

Could you please give me the name of the Tarot deck that describes the meaning of said card?

If you go to a place that sells decks you will see so many many kinds of decks. Many are based on the traditional tarot deck, and many are different systems, based on Native American power animals, or astrology etc. Many decks have beautiful artwork with scenes that show the meaning of the card. Thus you don't need to look up "three of cups" because you see three women dancing joyfully. A clear YES energy card. http://www.biddytarot.com/tarot-card-meanings/minor-arcana/suit-of-cups/three-of-cups/

Tarot cards trigger our psychic abilities, which is why I mentioned them to lazarusx.

Is it true that a Tarot deck should be purchased by another person, say as a gift, that one shouldnt buy their own deck? (Honestly, I dont remember where i heard or read this but it's supposed to have to do with the readers energy, I guess?)

You are asking an Aquarius a "should" question. I rarely do what I "should" and I think I am right too! Fixed Air, that's me!

I let tarot decks pick me. I resist, but sometimes a crystal or a tarot deck gets really loud, saying "Buy me, I'm yours!" Or if I am distracted, it falls off the shelf onto my foot - or sure, I have been given tarot decks too.

If you can recommend a really good book on how to interpret layouts I would appreciate it.

So many good books. And you can freely design your own lay outs. For many questions I take four cards, to show me the situation on the 1. Physical 2 Emotional 3. Mental 4 Spiritual planes. Or a three card, 1.Past 2. Present 3 Future.

RosieOne said:

Travel! Yes!

But when you can't travel, expand your horizons in other ways! Explore your own town. Read every magazine in your library - to learn about mass culture. Take a class. Take up a new exciting study about something cosmic. Visit every temple and church in your town, just to feel them all out and connect with people across beliefs and cultures. http://

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I doubt it. If he's still in living in the same city since birth, it explains a lot. It's like watching grass grow and waves going in and out and nothing but the sound of crickets every night. Laz, I think it's time for you to move east, get some 24/7 action

Thanks for all the advice RosieOne! I have 3 personal planets in Aquarius as I am a 0deg Pisces so I completely understand your commentary!

Blessings to you.....
S5