Hi, again.
Sorry, I couldn't post a new reply sooner!
I asked about your social anxiety for a few reasons and, I believe that you deserve an explanation.
But, please, bare in mind that, when we mention the negative influences in your chart, that does not mean that your chart is negative
- we're just trying to concentrate onto the problem that you mentioned in the intro post.
Venus (a planet tightly connected with your original question) is retrograde and combust on your Ascendant which is the the first indication that the matters associated with the natural rulership of Venus are very likely to encounter difficulties in their attempts to express the true nature of this planet (the planet is burnt and moving backwards). The conjunction of this ruler with your ascendant will, then, inevitably, affect your own behaviour, emotional reactions and looks!
With retrograde planets, repetition of certain activities or choices are usual and some lessons take longer to learn.
Venus rules one huge part of the 12th and the cusp of the 6th- two cadent houses, both of which are, to a certain point, associated with health. So, in a way, this bring the symbolism of these two houses "to you" as 1st house planets usually do, making this an important aspect of your life and personality.
The 6th house ruler in this shape,sitting on Ascendant and being placed in Gemini is already telling a lot about your situation- Gemini is a good place for communication however, Venus cannot express herself easily and, being so close to the crucial point of your chart, it translates the same characteristics onto you making you reluctant to communicate freely and, potentially, doubting your own strength or female qualities. With the influence coming from the 12th, you indeed have a potential to turn yourself into your own prisoner. In addition, the combustion introduces the energy of the 4th (the home, tradition or even your parents, father or another authoritative figure) in aprticular as the Sun rules this house.
And, from here, the aspects are telling their own part of the story about the dynamics of your social contacts coloured by this conjunction; Venus and Sun are squaring Mars and Saturn on the cusp of the 5th (pleasure, fun, dating, arts, sexual life etc.) and casting an opposition to Neptune on DC.
Saturn brings heaviness to this sphere of life whilst the combination of the two planets prevents you from solving troubles associated with this house quickly (I have Mars/Saturn square from 1st to 10th- these two planets can really be a pain in the back!). However, this square with Saturjn once again suggests a blockage or simply a negative reaction to something naturally ruled by Saturn which, again, could be link to either parental influence or social heritage and transition (Saturn rules long periods of time, older people, conservative thinking and slow motion).
Paradoxically, whilst the influence of Saturn may result in strong need for another person's attention, it can also affect the Nativity in a way that they become prone to denying this segment of life to themselves.
That's Saturn inside the 5th.
However, although this Satun/Mars combo can cause blockages and frustration, they also give you an enormous power to wait for something no matter how long it takes and to successfully undergo even the heaviest transformations. Saturn does not want to move whilst mars wants to do everything right this moment which causes frustration. However, when the two energies unite, the result is also a great power of endurance and determination.
Finally, the Neptune on the 7th cusp, as it has already been mentioned, talks about blurry vision when it comes to relationships but also about a constant fear.
The reason why some things appear to happen more than once is most likely hidden in the motion of Venus. The fact that you often feel better alone is also described by both Venus and Sun. The reason why you would like a steady relationship (which denies your choice of a secluded life) is your 5th house which, at the same time, is the resource of your energy that will help you go through the lessons that have been distributed along your path so far.
Your Moon is cadent and non-aspected which makes it a bit harder for you to both express your femininity and establish a deep contact with someone and, being placed inside the 3rd (communication) I would say that, maybe, you should avoid blind dating and all the "artificially" constructed meetings that you have mentioned. I'd say that you need to get out through the 5th and that you have a great potential to do so.
Forget about the meetings where you are expected to behave in a certain manner- go outside and allow yourself to meet people in their natural surroundings.
Although technically still inside the 1st house, your Sun and venus are tightly conjunct your Ascendant meaning that they are already visible on the horizon which, to me, means that this is a daily chart which give some planets a significant push forward.
Satrun/Mars conjunction advises you to find a healthy way to use your energy. The 5th is a great place for dancing (Inline has already given you some nice suggestions). A dance class would be a great way to open up the square between the "malefics" inside the 5th and the conjunction on your Ascendant. Mars and Saturn are disposed by your Ascendant ruler and they're in a benevolent aspect with it which gives them even more potential to resolve the blockages and turn their energy into a different direction. Finally, this will activate the final link in this figure- the 7th cusp and possibly affect it in a positive way as well. The good thing is that the planets have the ability to communicate as they're all connected. this, of course, has affected your life in a negative way so far but, a stressful aspect is better than no aspect at all.
Since your Moon does not have any aspects, you should, in my opinion, try to open it up through the activities of the 3rd house and Leo. I'd advise you to study the symbolism of the too thoroughly and see where you can find a recognisable and acceptable way out for your Moon.
In addition, if social anxiety is a huge problem, accept the hand offered to your from the 6th and try to talk to an expert.
I wish you the best of luck,
cheers,
aglaya