hi enigma
I too am quite surprised to see such a tight Grand Sextile. it is all you have read and more.this is an aspect of a great gift.
I struggle with depression since i was in 3th grade in school, which makes working full time really hard to handle.
this statement also throw me because most of the planets that contribute to depression are in sextile trine relationships such the sun.moon and Saturn.
adding the named asteroid Lena places you square to the Saturn/chiron opposition and opposed to juno.
this could show a domineering father ,emotionally cruel,but not on the surface.
your sun is opposed to Uranus and square the north node.
again ,you are an enigma because with this aspect , I would expect you to be very expansive and emotive as well as having strong astral/psyche abilities. yopu have access to the astral plane of consciousness ,so your dreams can be prophetic as well a vivid and realistic. as you say you suffer from depression then I would think you also have sleep paralysis which is waking up and not being able to move your body for several moments.
with depression and the sun opposed to Uranus , you would actually be bi-polar.
but I see the maniac potential in your chart, but the depressive can be seen but the severity styillis unusally, unless abuse of your father is great. with lena opposed to juno, you may have suffer ill will from a grand parent mostly a grand mother. Though this could also shows problems between you father and grandparent/s.
with your jun/Jupiter midpoint square to ceres,it does seem likely that your grandparents are supportive, though they could be easily offended.
the psyche/eros midpoint is loosely conjunct you node and square you ascendant showing you are indeed very creative and very romantic, idealistic and loving. you are extremely sensitive e and any overbearing behavior from your father would be very destructive.
your venus/mars midpoint is square to nessus and pluto. this aspect point to particularity to a abusive environment as a child and would show a brother/s whose are/were destructive to your self esteem.
the Saturn/Orcus midpoint is opposed to Jupiter which describes a abusive environment further. here with Jupiter involve, you seem to be suffering from generational abuse. that is, your treatment is through your familial line and heritage. so any distress you had/have will not be addresses by your family.
you have eris square to venus. this is a very sexual aspect but it often shows sexual relations and intimate friends have a way of taking advantage of you.with venus conjunct to mercury ,you have a joyous and loving spect to your personality ,but with eris square you have many whou only want to be with you sexually.this can give a indecurity about yourself because many just look to exploit you physically and don't offer true love. this dynamic also existed in your early childhood. it is another contributing aspect fro sexual abuser.
on October 8th the node was square you nessus, so these darker images may have been around you causing depression.the more I look at your chart it seems that you inability to escape the abuse that endemic around you ,has rendered you directionless, because you oppression seems inescapable.
good advice has been given to you. but you must find the joy in yourself to shed these dark emotional states off your shoulder. you are brilliant and anything you do with be awesome. Uranus and sun could show a scientific'/computer career. while your grand sextile gives you the potential for being a brilliant counselor,teacher or advisor....
rahu
wow, thank you very much .. that got me thinking a lot
actually i am in therapy at the moment, because i remembered being sexually abused as a child ...
my family does not aknowledge this and i feel very alone because of it.
Also i got raped when i was 18 by a man i met online ..
My encounters with men where all really unhealthy and i did let a lot of men take advantage of me throughout my life.
This month though i met a man, who is really loving and respectful. I really appreciate him. He is living far away from my home town though.
Since i'm actually really sensitive, i could not handle my father being emotionally cold and agressive. He used to scream at us children a lot and otherwise did not talk to us or gave us loving attention, but nobody said anything about this. It only happened behind closed doors and my mom just didn't do anything about it, even though i often told her that i don't want to live with this man anymore.
She used to tell me that this behaviour was just his way of loving us. That made me feel guilty a lot, because i just wasn't able to accept this as a child.
Now i can see where he is coming from and it's easier for me to understand his behaviour.
I did experience sleep paralysis, yes and it was on of the most frightening things i've ever experienced
i saw black ghosts flying around in my room and when i finally could turn my head sideways there was a black man standing beside my bed and starring at me.
Then i finally woke up.
Before being in a state of paralysis i walked through my house, even talked to my mom and brother ... it was all so real. I thought i was wide awake until i got in my bed again and could not move.
My dreams in general are very vivid and i can almost always remember even small details about them.
I also had prophetic dreams, yes. I enjoy that a lot, because it's kind of magic.
Thank you very much for your words again <3 they are really helpful
i'm on my way to healing and i made a lot of progress because of therapy
counseling is actually something i'm really interested in since i feel like i can be very empathetic and a good listener
The experiences i made in my life really helped me to understand myself and others better
I'm gonna look into that now!